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The Sunday Scratch | 2 Year Anniversary - Issue #11

Would you like to see more original content in the Sunday Scratch?

  • Yes

    Votes: 18 100.0%
  • No

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    18
  • Poll closed .

Ocularum

CS_Birb Impersonator
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Fall of the Rutgher Theocracy
Alt Title: Mercenary Intervention Crumbles Illegal Government!
February 19th, 310 AC

Daenestra found themselves close to the military compounds in the capital of the Rutgher Theocracy, some of which, curiously enough, were carrying the Regalian banner, though a very make-shift one that had been hurriedly sewn together and was made with off-color dyes, nothing like the true rich deep lavender purple as was common in Regalia. Daenestra was still on their way out of one of the offices as some sort of commotion started gripping the city. Weaving from street to street and remaining largely unseen by the locals, Daenestra witnessed groups of men with axes and wolf pelts covering their faces marching through the city, barely being stopped by the few soldiers still in the capital. The men wore the traditional colors and furs of the Faithful of Bannor, the Cellik Old Gods variant of the Velheim Old God Basjtur. [Read More]

Emperor's Proclamation On Evolution Of The Violet Order
February 16th, 310 AC

For some time now, the Crown has been the pleasant receiver of excellent communications and desire for cooperation from the institution of the Violet Order. It is as such that this communique must be prefaced with a request from the Lord Commander. A request which rung the first bells to the end of violence, undue violence among the guard, and undue damage inflicted. Naturally, it is the right of the guard to inflict harm on those who seek to inflict harm on others or the state or all that it holds holy and righteous. However, the Lord Commander also appraised us of the fact that some Guards, perhaps, take glee in this situation beyond what one can reasonably expect. [Read More]

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A New Regalian Landscape
Alt Title: Mionther Consultancy Census Symposium
February 10th, 310 AC

The North
Astute observers might notice the sudden appearance of those with Regal self-definition in the Kerulv region, for the first time, Regal styled Regalians have gained a majority in the area. They are expected to grow until they encompass the entire eastern half of this peninsula, but not encroach further west beyond Duke Viggo's lands! Furthermore, The Fridurfolk have shifted, and more subscribers to the ideals of Fridurfolk can now be found in Irvainvik, where the home of Duchess Sivrid has led to a marked increase of an anti-violence movement among the Velheim!

The Emperor has approved the Dwarven regional rights to, creating the provinces of Nest Ølovomm, Nest Grebor, and Nest Aldruin, such named as New variants of their old Holds. Though obviously, above ground. This marks the first majority of Dwarven Founder God religion between Nordhjem and Howlester! Speaking of Gallovia. Nothing worth speaking of. The cultural divisions between Ceardian, Dunbrae, Caeren remain the same, and religious conversions of the Caeren people have remained absolutely minimal! Many of the provinces however have been renamed to accomodate for the local dialect of the Gallovian Ceardians!

The Emperor has completed a shuffle of lands between Guentyr, Mac Conall and Gishkim, after the Aontaithe Counts requested their foreign liege lords be expelled. As the Deceres Duchy collapsed, many lands were knocked over! In this region, some observations ought to be made! The Url population in Mannadh Alba is growing steadily, particularly among the isles. Census data is unsure why, but at the very least, it is not hostile! Furthermore, a schismatic religious community has established itself. Some of the Url now follow Vultragon Unionism, a faith intrinsically linked with their being, and the other half follows Hovard Unionism. Hovard Unionism is a more modern interpretation of the Horopadosi ideal, believing in a wider self-evolution of the Ailor race. Naturally. These Url believe Url to be physiologically superior to the Ailor. And as such. The next development is that the Ostyr isles adopted what is now styled Paragon Unionism. Paragon Unionism is a mixture of Old Gods and Breizh Unionism, which claims the Old Gods are in fact Weards! Unionism in nature, but adopting many Old Gods traditions with burial rites, customs, and day to day activities...
_________

Want the full story and transcript? seek out a member of the Sunday Scratch at one of their newsstand locations. They can be found in The Nook, located in Rose Court; the Poison Pen Press, located in the New Crookback Emporium; or the Main Street Stalls, located in front of the Imperial Temple of the All-Beacon of Unionism.

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Vigilantes Take on Illegal Contract to Kill Sapient Race!
Alt Title: Dakkar Beneath the City! Regalia's Freaks Fight Back
By Petar Hall — February 14th, 310 AC

A collection of violent vigilantes met up with a pair of Dwarves in the Regalian Food Court and took on an illegal contract to kill Dakkar, an enemy the Dwarves had unleashed on themselves in their greed. The Dakkar are frequently portrayed as unintelligent and savage, but they plead for their lives and made attempts to de-escalate so they might continue living peacefully in the sewers. That is until they were attacked by the vigilante group, who were eager for the spoils promised to them by the Dwarven contractors.

These Dakkar spoke Common, they reasoned, and they acted violently only when violence was enacted upon them. Was this murder? Have the Dwarves in Ellador's few remaining holds carried out senseless grudges against living, thinking beings to save face? That possibility is seeming more and more likely, and the group who ventured in the sewers have a serious price to pay depending on the answers to these questions.

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Occult Ministry Expo
By Baldomar Dreschner — February 12th, 310 AC

Their Eminence Ashenvarya excelled at showing what mages in Regalia could be if used to their fullest potential. While they're one of the good ones, the same can't be said for a disruptive Kathar visitor at their expo. After a series of panels by Duchess Sorenvik and others, expositions provided by on site automatons, and a tour of pocket rooms by the Minister, exposition goers were spat back out in the Golden Willow.

A transcript of the event is available on request. Please seek out a member of the Sunday Scratch at one of their newsstand locations. They can be found in The Nook, located in Rose Court; the Poison Pen Press, located in the New Crookback Emporium; or the Main Street Stalls, located in front of the Imperial Temple of the All-Beacon of Unionism.

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Manathar Lecture
By Desmonia L. Sellenhire — February 11th, 310 AC

Manathar are a source of mystery in Regalia. To the average person they're nothing short of demonic horned beings sporting all varieties of mutation and twisted physical appearances. Those closer to the city's inner circle of Manathar may know Mae Keppkuula and the eclectic group that held allegiance to them, or the constantly shifting face of one Kauhet. Individualism is the cornerstone for Manathar philosophy. It defines their culture, and dictates their philosophy. Above all else, they are a people driven towards making the most of the individual.

Rue, the Manathar leading the lecture, stalked across the stage. "There is no grand heritage that all Manathar hail from." They said, "Each and every Manathar, including the ones you see on stage, were adopted into Manatharism."

A transcript of the event is available on request. Please seek out a member of the Sunday Scratch at one of their newsstand locations. They can be found in The Nook, located in Rose Court; the Poison Pen Press, located in the New Crookback Emporium; or the Main Street Stalls, located in front of the Imperial Temple of the All-Beacon of Unionism.

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Forged in Drama
February 1st, 310 AC

The Sunday Scratch presents a series of letters passed through the public and ensuing fallout from the exchange.

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To all of Regalia who wishes to hear it, I am calling out Enki Lok-Ningishizda, An Erodinas smith with a terrible reputation, who has just recently gone out to one of my close friends, asking for information to spread rumours of me with, attempting to gather dirt that does not exist, and my friend Lady Aurora Litvinova has given me a letter written and signed by this man as proof, attempting to bribe her with lower quality smithed items. The reason he did all of this? He confronted me earlier today proclaiming he would run me out of business, but never did I expect he would stoop so low so soon, in response, I have this letter posted to all, so all may be aware of his underhanded, and dishonourable tactics. A copy of the letter he wrote, signed by him, to Lady Litvinova will be attached below.

I—Enki—will make Lady Aurora Mina Litvinova a Szabadokian helm of her dreams if given certain information on the Charging Ram and the Baron Nordhjem.​

Signed,
Baron Godrun Njalsune Nordhjem, Av harstad​

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Dear Copycat,

While I am flattered that you wish to be me so much, I will say you are doing such a shitty job it nearly insults me and those who have worked with me in the past. Whatever Lady Litinova told you was a lie, I was looking for insider secrets on your business sure, though personal information? Hardly any. As for your product, you are not competition, you are the paper of which I wipe my ass with, it's garbage to say the least. A dagger for eighty regals? Steel? You're insane, that's more than what I pay for my house, and you expect the peasant folk to play with it. You are delusional, you are a terrible businessman, and you embarrass any blacksmith who is in the trade. Please, before you try to call me out, do your research.

Vakgar Protect,
Enki Lok-Ningishzida
Forgemaster of Vakgar's Torch
Chief Advisor of Rakhon Guthrain​

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For shame on both of you, wasting resources of paper over some squabble. I have propositions for Baron Godrun and Smith Enki. Instead of a battle of words. How about a battle of skill, metal against metal. Smith against Smith. Winner gets to claim superiority by offering the other and ten thousand regals(1 wealth token). What do you both say, accept the challenge or be like an old woman arguing in a bar. I suspect an answer by tomorrow's sunset so I may plan this challenge in detail

Akurgal Gishkim
Duke of Pol Callant​

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Dear Duke Gishkim av Pol Callant,

If it ends this, I hold no issue challenging him to a competition, I shall let you decide who is the judge and all to leave it impartial to either party.

Sincerely,
Baron Godrun Nordhjem av Harstad​

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Minor Announcements
  • House Gishkim's request two other judges for the future contest between Baron Godrun and Smith Enki. He also humbly asks that members of Delmotte, Nordhjem, and Litvinova don't apply to be judges to keep fairness and avoid rumours of favouritism.
  • The Duchess Acelina Litvinova is nominating herself as judge due to the fact that she is putting a reward towards the competition, which would only be fair.
  • Forgemaster Enki states that he wants his reward to go into the wellbeing of the Eronidas under House Gishkim's Duchy instead of receiving it in full.
  • The House di Civita nominates itself as one of the only families fit in the City to judge the craft of their peers, the Baroness herself willing to represent the skill and knowledge of the esteemed and fair renowned Dressolini armourers.
  • House Litvinova publicly announces their full support for House di Civita being judges. As they trust their judgement full heartily and the Duchess would be honoured to judge alongside them.
Euthanasia For A Sick Animal
By Duke Markus Delmotte — February 1st, 310 AC

To the contemptible and ignominious creature that preys upon unarmed women,

Your recent involvement in the maiming, mugging, and humiliation of my cousin, Lady Rhea Delmotte, has been brought to my attention. If you do not surrender yourself to my household within twenty-four hours so that we might dispense punishment… [Read More]

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A Sapphire Rebrand
February 2nd, 310 AC

The House of the Sapphire Spirits is officially rebranding into the Sapphire Star, an establishment of class and refined fun. Owners Abigail Tucker and Saren are bringing the good times to the now upscale venue, currently located near the New Crookback guard checkpoint. Tucker says this rebranding "represents a leap forward in our evolution as we grow as a business. From the clientele to the staff, this is something we feel we can grow and develop."

"It is an exciting time for both myself and Saren," Tucker says, "we'll be providing an amazing place to party!"

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Crookback Council Announcement
February 18th, 310 AC
From the mouth of Crookback Council Member Harlow Ketch.

Preamble
You've already come to notice the additional person up on the stage with us. This is Marchioness Natharia mac Conall, who has been appointed as the Development Minister. This means she is in charge of the amount of Imperial money spared toward Crookback, either by the Finance Ministry or by rich donors. Which we have a few of now, in good news. She will not be participating in any form of voting or legislation, as she is not a part of the Council. She is here exclusively to take suggestions about what the people of Crookback would like to see improved in the district.

Which means, contrary to belief, the intention is to lessen the blow of past oppression, rather than push down an iron fist. I'd like to thank you all for coming, first and foremost. Spring approaches, days are getting longer and more packed with activities and legislation changes, so meetings like these have been infrequent, for which, I apologise. We will ideally be back on schedule by next week. There are a few things we need to address about Crookback's current state before we can properly pursue its future.

Harlow's Speech
Crookback has been in poverty since the day it was made, from the moment our backwater smuggling bay started gathering citizens, to the very instant we speak. The Council haemorrhages twenty thousand regals every month or so. We should be honest with ourselves: We live in a shithole. Muddy tracks for roads, brown pools in our bars, a chipped wall. We all know it. We joke about it. But we live here anyway. Why is that? I'd like you all to resign yourselves into your seats for a moment and consider that question. Why are you here?

Are we free? Glance around you- past the rooftops and mutant trees, and you will see walls that keep us in as much as they keep the guards out. Stretching along the horizon, but there all the same. We're free to speak our mind, to a people more tolerant of us, but we are also open to being beaten for it, challenged over it, and made into jesters for those ideals.- Some of whom willingly, at least. Are we safe? Look down. There are shards of broken cobble at your feet and pools of long-rotten blood. To your left and your right is a neighbour holding a weapon. All it would take is a jump and a slash, with some call of "RIOT!"

We aren't completely free. We aren't completely safe, either. But we are very poor. We are a shithole. But for some reason—we fucking revel in it. We love the culture, we love the people, we find that the lines between us aren't empty pockets but a hardheaded acceptance for the things the world around us didn't want to acknowledge. But do we need to look at the world around us with such vitriol, now? These walls weren't built to keep us in, they were built to keep the guard out. When our homes burned, we were displaced and beaten. We'd been hit with a heavy blow that we still recover from to this day.

Any Emperor of the past would've looked to the ashes of our settlement, flicked it aside and gone, "Better off without them." But here, now, in this modern day- we weren't cast aside, we were only ever given to. The Emperor gave us roofs above our head- thin, but sturdy enough for the rain. The Emperor gave us walls- cracked, but enough to hold away the people that'd burned us. The Emperor still gives us food, no matter how much it weighs on the wallets of the wealthy, no matter how little money we produce. The Emperor gave us the things we need to survive. And we have taken more, because that is what we wanted to live. And now we banter in what has remained a shithole. Jape about our oppressors, who haven't even attempted to breach our walls in almost a year. How ignorant the state must be, how foolish His Imperial Holiness has become. Birds. Squawking jokes in a cage of our own making.

But we could fix up the walls. We could make a new park, let it produce food for us and give us some beauty in our lives. We could pave over our roads, save our feet the infections and our noses the stench. We could make those roads lead to water to keep us alive and clean. Our-.. Gods, our wall. If we could reach it out further, let it spread further along the island, and walk out of it even more, would it even be a cage anymore? After all this charity, all this attempted relief for our plight, we have been given the greatest gift of all- The freedom to choose! We may maintain this status quo if we wish! Waste away in a dying district, chattering of our disdain for the world

Let us gather together, and use our acceptance of the strange, our bolstering of the abnormal, to make the Empire that lifted us up see we can be more than a shithole. we can be a piece of the empire, we can be something great in the empire. for the people that built us homes and will build us more, for the people that spared our lives and will make them last! I am aware that we are often hesitant to change. But I'd like everyone to think it over more than anything. Ultimately, Crookback will improve regardless- but without true support of the Empire, there is always a cap on just how good we can have it. We could really be a borough for acceptance, a party in and of itself able to push for not just use in the Empire, but life in it.

It is the decision of every individual person whether they would prefer to properly enact our role as a borough, or maintain a status quo that has left us in a shithole.

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Crookback Bounties
Laria Mogun is looking to have 'Some Chick named Valentin and her Crystal Henchman' pranked, or punched. The pay for this job offered is five regals.

Valentin is putting a bounty up on an unknown masked individual, described to be made of stone and covered in crumbling, decrepit blacksteel armor that has definitely seen better days. Said individual is a mute and talks by writing on cards. The instructions are that they are to be beaten, their mask removed, and that they are to be delivered to either Valentin or Kelvenne. Reward is 200r.

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Derelict Home Repaired
Alt Title: Hangroad is Healing

By Petar Hall (@Bellarmina for ideas.) — February 3rd, 310 AC

Hang Road has been subject to multiple misfortunes over the years from fires, to attacks against the Temple of Salvation, to criminal incursions against its residents. As time goes on buildings are repaired, rubble has been cleaned up, and life goes on. The home of Mae Keppkuula in particular has long been an eyesore, but a dedicated group of Imperial engineers swept through and turned that blight into a beautiful example of what Old Town's architecture can be.

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Corporations Fight for Port Cities Authority Rights
February 23rd, 310 AC

Private enterprises have descended on Anglia in the absence of the Trade House of Kade, seeking rights to the now vacant ports left behind. Control over these port cities, and in turn control over their docking infrastructure and ability to operate these ports, comes with both a hefty potential investment and profits.

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Ministry Of Development Report #1

By Her Eminence Natharia Mac Conall — February 24th, 310 AC

Before the most Recent Upper House Assembly, a ministry was made called the Ministry of Development. With this created, and with many applicants, the Baroness was appointed. With many thanks to his Imperial Holiness, today marks the first report that the Minister will be putting out monthly which updates the general public as to what is happening to Regalia - our home. [Read More]

Ministry Of Equality Bulletin #1
By Their Eminence Nefer of Clan Morathes

As decreed on February 5th by the last Lord Chancellor Madelyn de Azcoissia, the Ministry of Equality was set in motion with Duke Nefer of Clan Morathes at its head. We begin the Ministry's existence with but a handful of questions.

Are we not in the age of innovation? Are we not in times where one may invent and reinvent themselves as they see fit? Where they may choose to call themselves what terms suit them? The truth is that there is no one word that encompasses all someone is except a name, and that name is ever changing. Collectively, we may not have grown past racial, cultural, and gender divisions but we have the consciousness to understand their origins and practice empathy. [Read More]

Armament Office Announcement
By Officer Erwin Braunschweiger — February 28th, 310 AC

I will keep this short and simple for efficiency: An unfortunate amount of citizens have little knowledge on how to apply for, maintain and properly keep an armaments permit. This is not a fault of them, but rather, a fault of little public communication. [Read More]

Warforged Mercenary Company Dissolved
By Officer Franz Knispel — February 25th, 310 AC

The Warforged Mercenary Company has been dissolved. Ta'leos Glasseye and Felsin Kretch have had their mercenary licences revoked following crimes committed including assault of a Violet. They may no longer be hired, and if they attempt to approach you as a legal mercenary company or as registered mercenaries, please turn them over to the Violets at once.

If you have any information on their location that might lead to their arrest or capture, please contact Mercenary Officer Knispel at the Merc Fort.

Third Lower House Assembly
February 19th, 310 AC

The Third Lower House assembly occurred on February 19th, 310 AC.

Count Avox Petrou proposed a voluntary roster of Houses who would lend their armies and navies to Regalia's war efforts. The nays had it.

Countess Emilienne proposed that the clean water from Mount Agatha be diverted to provide clean water to the Holy City's residents. The proposal was rescinded and directed to the Minister of Development.

Reynard Benac proposed that Broods registered in the Brood Registry overseen by Duke Abelhard Petrou be permitted entry into the palace during Assemblies. Currently, individuals possessing red eyes are barred from entering. The nays had it.

Count Avox Petrou requests that the State Allocates funds to the building of a new Marine Tenpenny school within Athos, Adjacent to the Grand Athosian Shipyards and the Citadel of Proagogi for the service, with a wing for an Officer's War College. They nays had it.

Duke Akurgal proposed the Dissolution of Eronidas Work Camps in favour of a term of military service in the Imperial Army. The ayes had it.

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Minister Confirmation Hearing
February 12th, 310 AC

Ministry of Development
Applicants were Baroness Mac Conall, Graf Viduggla, and Harlow Ketch.

Alexander Kade announces: "The Crown has heard enough. The Crown finds all applicants currently unsuitable. The peer applicants show a lack of understanding Crookback's basic legal functioning, and the other Applicant has already had months of time to prove efficacy for Crookback but sat on an indolent council that achieved nothing. The three applicants are dismissed. The Crown may keep the names in mind and appoint one at the end of the Assembly, otherwise, this matter will defer to the next week."

His Imperial Holiness: We have decided to appoint Natharia Mac Conall to the position of Development Ministry, chiefly because the last time a Viduggla held any post of 'Development' the treasury was raided, and Crookbackers need a modification of attitude before any of their ilk is appointed to arbitrate what happens on the streets of New Town.

Ministry for War
Applicants were Duke Theron Fauré, Jarl Ardige Viduggla, Duke Markus Delmotte, and Grand Duke Heinrich von Schwarzkrau, and Lord Avox Petrou.

His Imperial Holiness: Duke von Schwarzkrau shall be appointed. All other applicants clearly have so much military expertise, skill, and innovative spirit, that they belong on the frontlines actually leading and responding to the necessary in-the-moment military decisions. von Schwarzkrau shall in fact thus serve as the paperwork desk clerk back in the capital.

Ministry for Finance
Applicants were Jarl Godrun Nordhjem, Archduchess Madelyn de Azcoissia, Duchess Viviwynne Guentyr, Medea Glena, Duke Alastair Mac Conall, Duke Radomir Novak.

His Imperial Holiness: A single Financial Ministry is not viable from the perspective of the ideology of the applicants. Each Applicant represents a different approach to fiscal management, that the Crown cannot viably decide upon for months to come. The Crown will yield 40,000 periodic income from the Crown to the state treasury, establishing a budget of 240,000 Periodic income. This will then be split into a periodic income of 160,000 and one of 80,000. We will appoint de Azcoissia to the 160,000 counting Legal Financial Ministry, simply referred to as the Financial Ministry, and we shall appoint Duke Mac Conall to the Ethical Finance Aid Ministry, or Ethical Finances Ministry. The names are... placeholders. And relevant authorities will be divided when the government circular is published tomorrow. The Crown would also inquire with de Azcoissia to hire the commoner in the middle to the Finance Ministry's clerks, to advise her on radical re-spending initiatives.

Consul for the South
Applicants were Grand Duchess Acelina Litvinova, Vassal Baron Lynmar Lomstedt, and Officer Szaraslaszotle dari Huallo.

His Imperial Holiness: The Crown finds all pitches to be lukewarm, given the request for a contrasting speech. With all applicants being more or less the same, the Allar shall be appointed, if only because it represents a continuation of ongoing diplomatic efforts that would cause a delay in implementing a new strategy, or worse, government confusion.

Consul for the East
Applicants were Seishan Wei, Lady Lillian Howlester, and Luopeha Yeung.

His Imperial Holiness: As for this application. The Crown finds the applicants lukewarm, save for the Howlester which was apt on the matter of CONTRASTING the other applicants. While our Sihai of the fairer gender proposed equal points, one vacation in Farah'deen does not the Ambassador make. As such, we will appoint the Howlester to this Consul.

Consul of the North
Ardige Viduggla approached the stand and the Emperor immediately appointed him.

Consul of the West
Applicants were Ana Cervantez, Cazna Gahan, Duke Florian du Poncaire, Marquis Fabian Cadieux du Lierre, Cieli Le'vilja, and Duke Markus Delmotte.

His Imperial Holiness: Well then. The conversation did not go at all as we had expected. So instead, we shall do something unusual. Archduchess Madelyne de Azcoissia, please step up. You have the greatest level of experience with the foreign dignitaries. You supplies the non-Aggression agreement with the Allorn, and to the Ambassador's own words, you were femme-handled by the Ambassador, so you are uniquely knowledgeable who of the five current contestants is least likely to be stepped on by the foreign dignitaries of the west. And additionally, if it does alter your opinion, whether a triumvirate as half-proposed on the bench would also be an option or indeed a better one than just any of the five.

Madelyn de Azcoissia: I am of the opinion, your Imperial Holiness, that a triumvirate would be ultimately preferrable, as the political situation of the West is enough to obliterate any single individual on this stand, including myself. However, I equally am uncertain if those standing here are enough to fulfil that triumvirate, as stated. For, indeed, the Miss Cervantaz operates on a diplomatic ideology that I find deeply dangerous, in that just because someone appears, or is of, a race or culture, that they are best suited to deal with it. For Miss Gahan is, in the eyes of the Suvial people, a Kathar. And will always be so.

It is also potentially insulting to those peoples, to send someone 'like them' in a half-hearted gesture. I presume the Duke Delmotte is, of all standing here, the least politically volatile going in, as the Marquis' impending matrimony will potentially pose a threat to negotiations with the Ithanian Ambassador, if her memory of the Assembly during the Retreat is as well as I expect it to be. But, by default it is not the most convincing. This is my assessment, your Imperial Holiness.

His Imperial Holiness: So if we are to understand this, a Triumvirate is suitable, however only Delmotte is suitable for those standing to be part of this Triumvirate?

Madelyn de Azcoissia: Indeed, your Imperial Holiness.

His Imperial Holiness: The Crown requests that Cadieux and Delmotte remain standing, and that all other applicants and the Archduchess are re-seated. The Crown agrees that the impending matrimony between du Poncaire and Cadieux is highly problematic, as Cadieux is likely to be banned from the inner courts of Ithania for mere association with the Duke du Poncaire. However, the Crown also believes that Delmotte has enough of a doorway in, and enough of a hawkish disposition to potentially undo that, with resources supplied by du Poncaire and Cadieux.

That being said. If we are to follow the recommendation of de Azcoissia, we are still short a third member. So the Crown wishes to inquire anyone else in the Crowd who thinks they are a hawkish negotiation who is not going to get fooled by the variably more talented and worldly and literary minds of the western embassies, to step forward and pitch their inclusion.

l81yMEOgSmstn8xa2r_Rmi8PEym3JmaWs2m6TQfeXiGCyLe_YERAJ1i-TiUYpyqOAMWD2dmHD6ZzbyzVStDS4f8WODTaqSGGZgxJIbC-H3gfIxpjbkMu8PVsdpU17hpYmLqMQi1l
Pictured: Armed figures guarding the "Orrorey."

The Search for Cro-Zzhin
By Petar Hall — February 11th, 310 AC

There was no civil war in Hadar, at least not one most Regalians were aware of. Now Minister of the Southern Consulate, Minister Szaraslaszotl dari Huallo has been hard at work engineering solutions to a terrible problem. Qar-Digmaan Cro-Zzihn was missing, and only a few people held answers. On February 11th when the sun grew dim and the moon rose, the dragon faithful set up shop outside the Orrorey. Inside, Minister dari Huallo and an unknown number of people were preparing to ask a very important question. Where was Qar-Digmaan?

Further queries and requests for answers were rebuffed by the group assembled on the Orrorey's path and violence not so much implied as it was explicit. Strangers were evidently unwelcome, and a desire to know just what they were doing up there equally so.

ggMOBQKrOVyTCSfvdEcpM5J-DtHuW9FYSENTXiffH8bFHOeGCDIup1_KJcLs0hNeLQkeo8sjpXSeUnZNUJgUb1XPII9iEmtNG_VfvRiaxUO9XmvVu8lR0BnBUDzG-3VTopjVpuLL
Screenshot by @Bellarmina.

De Azcoissia Chancellery: A Retrospective
Alt Title: Sun Sets on the Chancellery
By Archduchess Madelyn de Azcoissia — February 13th, 310 AC

In a similar manner to my predecessor, I ultimately ended without a true 'final decree.' By choice, rather than surprise, to my benefit. A final 'joy,' for myself, to see a vote without prior negotiations, promises, or the sort. The idea of taking some final moments to watch the scamper of pitches and bids pleased me to consider. The dissolution of the position of Chancellor by His Imperial Holiness brought me more peace than either of these… [Read More]

1st New Mercenary Decree
By the Mercenary Officers — 2nd of February, 310 AC

By the declaration of Her High Eminence, Lord Chancellor Madelyn de Azcoissia, on the 27th January 310 AC, the Mercenary Office shall now be headed by Duchess Hera van Hal, Baroness Humaira di Civita, and Mister Franz Knispel… [Read More]

3rd Occult Ministry Decree
By Minister Ashenvarya Sylfina — Jan 29th, 310 AC

The Occult Ministry has announced a public Arcane Convention in the coming weeks, with more information to follow in a future announcement. For those that are interested in learning more about the Occult from those deemed to be professionals in the matter, they are recommended to attend. If one would like to assist with the coming Convention in some way, they may reach out to the Occult Ministry in order to do such… [Read More]

Announcement from the Deputy of Commerce
By Deputy Chu Hua — January 23rd, 310 AC

It is an honour to work with the citizens of Regalia which I have found to be a mass melting pot of culture and of passionate souls. The people work hard to provide various goods and treatments to the common and the nobility folk. Some have yet to experience the marvels of some of the hidden businesses of Regalia and so I wish to promote them with bi-monthly announcements of one to three businesses… [Read More]

Lifeguard Decree of Jan. 23rd
By Officer Heinrich von Schwarzrau — January 23rd, 310 AC

The Lifeguard Office reports a stagnation of registrations given the New Year, which is to be expected given holiday celebrations. At that, the Lifeguard Officer wishes all to have had a very happy holiday season.

Despite that stagnation, some noble houses remain unprotected by house guards, which invites risk and injury. All noble houses are encouraged to demonstrate their good favour with the common class by courting suitable defenders to their banner… [Read More]

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Celerial Proclamation | Come High Water
By Duke-Celerial Abelhard Petrou — January 31st, 310 AC

Oh, Saint Everwatcher. Bless the child, the man, the woman, who serves you in good faith. Help them to stabilise their hearts for the trials they will face in the future, for the challenges, the obstacles they have to overcome. Blessed are those who do this, given the ultimate reward in satisfaction and the satisfaction that comes from serving your eternal glory… [Read More]

An Everloving Choir
The Athosian Celacy, as part of an ongoing effort to reinvigorate religious life in the Holy City, is hosting a regular Everloving Choir.

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The Sunday Scratch is Accepting Letters
Do you feel something is missing from The Sunday Scratch, some thought unexplored or an opinion got wrong? Have we got our gears stuck and failed to fact-check information? Send a letter to the editor! Support a stance, oppose a stance, respond to other letters to the editor, comment on current issues, tell us how you feel about news stories, correct mistakes—the possibilities are endless!

Subscriptions and letters should be penned to the Leclercq Building, Tailor's District. Offices are located on the third floor. In person visitors will be respectfully declined and encouraged to request at-home delivery or procure a paper from an open vendor.

Current vendors are:
  • The Nook, located in Rose Court.
  • Poison Pen Press, located in the New Crookback Emporium.
  • Main Street Stalls, located in front of the Imperial Temple of the All-Beacon of Unionism.
Can't wait to get your next paper? Petition local businesses to install news-stands today!

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An Interview with Sage Marais
Alt Title: A Woman Married to Her Work
By Desmonia L. Sellenhire — February 15th, 310 AC

Q: How does it feel being voted Regalia's hottest commoner?
A: Feels... strange, admittedly. I did not exactly expect myself to win, yet it warms me that so many people think of me in such a way.

Q: Do you have any plans to go for two titles? The Summer Heartthrob competition is just around the corner.
A: Ah- gracious. Winning the winter title was rewarding enough. So, likely not. But if I am voted, I'll go for it.

Q: Humble aren't you? Did winning the title not fill you with newfound confidence? It's not every day a commoner wins out over the peerage.
A: Ah, no. I didn't unlock more confidence than I had before. Looks are not my priority unlike medicine is. It just made me learn I'm liked and am worthy of a vote, making me happy instead of overly confident.

Q: If you're not going to capitalise on your mini fame, what are you going to do?
A: Well, focus on my work and family of course. I have a one-year-old son, a beautiful business, and I'm a staff member for House von Schwarzkrau... So, remain busy pfha!"

Q: A child? I didn't realise you were taken.
A: No, I'm a single mother.

Q: I can't even imagine how difficult that must be on you. Surely your Heartthrob status is working wonders for your love life?
A: My love life has gone nowhere. Sure, I may be acknowledged to be pretty, but no one has even asked me on a date.

Peerage Developments

A Declaration From House Du Poncaire

Let it be known, Duke du Poncaire declares that anyone attempting to excavate his lands without his express permission and accompaniment of House du Poncaire will be arrested on sight. Additionally, House du Poncaire claims eminent domain over all property discovered within their holdings, be it physical or intellectual. [Read More]

Nordhjem & Gishkim Courtship Treaty
On the Sixteenth of February, Three-Hundred-And-Ten AC, noble houses Nordhjem and Gishkim came to an agreement regarding the possible future of unity between the respective families. [Read More]

A Gentleman's Request For Lord Aldane Guentyr
It has become more apparent, that as the days pass, Lord Guentyr disrespects the peerage and the upstanding citizens of Regalia, time and time again. I believe that this man has had every opportunity to fix his pompous and snake-like demeanour. In my time knowing the Lord, he has gone from an outstanding man to… [Read More]

Delmotte & Nordhjem Courtship Treaty
On the Twenty-Seventh of January, Three-Hundred-And-Ten AC, noble houses Delmotte and Nordhjem came to terms regarding the unity and futures of their respective families… [Read More]

Delmotte & Petrou Treaty
On the Seventeenth of January, Three-Hundred-And-Ten AC, noble houses Delmotte and Petrou have agreed to jointly oversee and execute the retrieval of the Gauntlet of Theomar, along with its return to his Imperial Holiness the Emperor… [Read More]

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Murder on Main Street
By Petar Hall

Private Detective Clement Bechard was killed in the street and robbed of his goods. Mister Bechard, who had a long history of successful investigations and scraps, met his end after 33 years. An investigation into his murder is ongoing.

Anyone with information on Mister Bechard's death should reach out to local authorities.

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Guard Bounties and Warrants

Guard Warrant
1/27/310: Valentin Saarvaris, wanted for Common Law 3.
2/12/310: 'Cecilia,' wanted for Common Laws 4 and 12.
2/20/310: 'Iris,' wanted for Common Law 12.

Guard Bounty
Hogan Mars, wanted for Capital Law 1. 10,000 regal reward.

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The Clowniseum
February 2nd, 310 AC

Bingo and the Maniacal Circus have stake-claimed the Sewer Arena connecting the first and second sewer layers as their territory, with the Mad Jester rebranding it as The Clowniseum! They also promise upcoming news of an exciting event for Crookbackers to enjoy, hinting at a night of brutal entertainment…

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An Audacious Grab For Land
January 29th, 310 AC

Whether through negligence or fear, it seems the lot of you have accepted my domain over your festival grounds. While I say ''domain'', you can take comfort in the fact that I'm no tyrant. You're all more than welcome to use this place when I'm not around, of course. Throw your indulgent parties, drink 'til your dead—I don't particularly care… [Read More]

Vigilante Justice
By Petar Hall — January 5th, 310 AC

On January 4th a Ka Maraya was left visibly hanging by their arms from the Militia Tower, the words 'KILLER' painted in bright, purple paint upon their torso for all to see.

Strange Man Assaults Civilians
By Petar Hall — February 3rd

Our correspondents received reports of an incredibly high strung man assaulting civilians in New Town. He was quickly dealt with by local law enforcement, but not before giving residents a fright.

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The Regalian Volunteer Guild
The Regalian Volunteer Guild is a recently founded private organisation focused on the betterment of citizens around the capital city through cheap and crowdsourced labour. While not hosted out of any one region or building, agents of the Guild have been seen posting anonymous job listings for those in need all throughout the city. Enrollment is free and encouraged for anyone that wants to lend a hand to those who might be in need.

The Regalian Volunteer Guild is not liable for any injuries or risks that might occur while on the job. Any or all loss of property or life while operating under the Guild is at the risk of the volunteer themselves. All are welcome to apply with no prerequisites. [READ MORE]

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Hide and Seek Soiree
March 3rd, 7 PM EST
Each home is special. It has particular characteristics and nooks that only the ones who live in learn of. Since childhood, we passively familiarise ourselves with the layout of our home through children's games. But what will you do when that sanctuary is breached? Baroness Galenea wishes to bring attention to this question by inviting the Peerage to a cocktail soiree, added with a harmless party game of hide and seek.

The Regalian Art Gala: A Night of Cultural Splendour
March 4th, 7 PM EST
It is with great honour that we present to you the Regalian Art Gala, a dignified occasion to celebrate Regalian patriotism and pride through the arts and culture. Inspired and dedicated to the primary objectives of the Reverie Faction, we have prepared an extensive art exhibition by several local artists who have conveyed Regalian beauty in the hopes to rekindle Regalian nationalism through the arts and culture. An invitation is extended to the nobility and upstanding citizens to marvel at their artistry during a gala that is nothing short of opulent festivities.

The Feasting of Kolthar
March 5th, 8 PM EST
Kaahl Raviirn opens its arms to any and all who come in peace to engage in one of Kathar's most sacred holidays. A feast of food prepared, where each will present a dish made of their own effort and work to all those who attend and bridge the gap between being strangers and friends. It is a celebration of much and plenty, and a perfect way to announce our presence here in Crookback, amongst you and with friendly intent.

Fashion Fundraiser
March 6th, 6 PM EST
House Bancroft is proud to invite the peerage and upstanding commoners to a fashion fundraiser! This event aims to source funds to aid the ongoing struggle in Torse and Arlora.

Celebration of Suur-Võitlus
March 9th, 10 PM EST
House Viduggla is proud to present a celebration of the Zvorun celebration known as Suur-Võitlus.

Remembrance Day
March 11th, 6 PM EST
Duke Akurgal Gishkim extends an invitation to those lawful in the city to the Eronidas district for an Eronidas practice of Hissutuma to remember those that pass on to the afterlife and remember those in our history that pushed us further into history.

Tournament of Ash
March 12th, 7:30 PM EST
House Novak presents to the common people and nobility a combat tournament meant to assess the skills honed over the past decade by the warriors of the city. Rewards will be given to the fighters who outperform their opponents, especially for the ones that come out reigning in the top three. However, the bracket of this tournament has a twist—the spectators will be the ones to choose the matches. Instead of solely sitting around, you as the viewer can have a hand in how the tournament goes.

A Simple Poetry Competition
March 18th, 8 PM EST
As time passes along the archipelago, one thing will not change, the structure of how we read and write. Periods will come and go, evolution still flourishing throughout Regalia. But still, we keep to our traditions, and write as we hold on to those times. This competition isn't only to show how much education you received as a child, but also to show your dedication to your craft. Beginners and experts should enter, as it is a fair challenge for everyone to participate in.

Spring Equinox Garden Party
March 20th, 6 PM EST
With Spring very soon upon us, House Mac Conall invites the good peerage and upstanding commoners of the city to a Garden Party in front of the Mac Conall Estate. Games are to be played, drinks are to be drunk with snacks of course.. All to represent Spring coming into play into our lives once more. House Mac Conall hopes to see the Esteemed Peerage and upstanding commoners there on Sunday the 20th March.

Lyuden Festival
March 20th, 8 EST
House Novak invites all to attend their Lyuden Festival, hosted by Zeljka & Katya Novak. A week prior to this event it is requested that all make their Lyubovkukla, their dolls, with their respective partners, and wear them on their person.

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The Part Where I Preemptively Answer Questions
Q:
You misspelt apartment!
A: It's French (or Ithanian if you're so inclined).

Q: Why don't you do advertisements anymore?
A: Businesses die too quickly. Skimming classifieds from #ic-advertisements proved to be distinctly not worth it, but I'm reconsidering.

Q: How do I get something put in the paper?
A: Message me or find me in game. I don't support negative stories or rumours unless you have express OOC permission from all people involved. Opinion pieces are the exception to that rule.

Q: I thought the Scratch was dead!
A: I post on a roughly bimonthly schedule, meaning once every two months.

Q: Where are the original stories and summaries?
A: I am dying. More accurately, I'm not certain anyone bothers reading them and don't have the energy to summarise things that are already publicly available. We'll see how I'm feeling two months from now.

Other Reading