1) I can't name a single RL leader who ever led their men into battle from the front. All GOOD generals lead from the rear, where they can direct troops without dying.
2) The best offense is a good defense. My main focus, due to my dislike of pvp, is in defensive indestructibility. My castle is a maze of underground tunnels, iron doors, and seemingly random exits and entrances. It was built to be unbreachable, and the /f home itself cannot be access by an enemy without help from someone within the faction or allied to it.
3) If someone attacks me without my knowing, I never strike back. This is to ensure I keep all my items, even if it means I will die. It is a perfectly valid means of passive strategic action.
4) I do believe the 'cake' joke went waaaaay over your head.
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5) lololololololol