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AN IMPERIAL MISSIVE TO THE EMPIRE
Word Received on Tuesday, March 9th, 309
It is with a sense of melancholy that our mind is brought to wander, wandering back to a time of the past in tranquil Anglia where all matters of state and warfare seem to far away, mere glimpses of the tragedies of loss translated in the numerous statues dedicated to the unknown soldier, or the roadside shrine which holds a candle in memory to our ruling giants of centuries old. We are reminded of a tale in youth, a spring in blossom with the sweet scent of the apple orchards carried far beyond the golden hills of Axenfoort, lighting up even the darkest and dampest corners of the Cathedral, now so tragically wounded by the Anglian Mist events of recent years.
ASSEMBLY RECAP: MARCH 4TH, 309
Penned March 5, 309
FIRST TOPIC
Raised by Tirioc Mionther, Office of the Reeve
The Reeve's office of the Imperial City has received numerous concerning reports of ill-behaving guards when it comes to Noble protocol. No proper title usage, even a vulgar "hey what is up" as a greeting to a noble, nobles being ignored and made to wait and general ill treatment of the nobility when it comes to their respected privilege and status.
Now. This is not a unique issue within the Guard. And it is a matter to dress up within the guard. But I am of the belief the matter extends further, and part of the responsibility lies also with the Peerage themselves.
Not merely just a moment ago, I witnessed a commoner address Baron von Duerr by his first name, and the Baron did not deem it necessary to correct this commoner with a slap in the face. The Nobility are in and of themselves responsible by letting the standards of nobility slide and not insisting on the proper respects. Some of you wish to be liked, more than you wish to be powerful. Which is a morally just stance to have, but one that erodes the respect for the rest of the peerage.
Do not presume that you are a commoner's friend for accepting their usage of your first name in casual conversation. Noble respect extends even in private. A commoner is a foolish creature. One lets a commoner speak as they please in private and they will presume to have the right to trivialize and infantilize a noble in public also. This mistake has been felt many times by several Houses.
So, let me do the work with the Guards to ensure they behave, but I should also put a stern warning to the Nobles. The Emperor is watching out for those who believe their casual friendliness with the plebeian masses is more important than their privilege.
Privilege is wholesale, not part or divided. You either have it. Or you do not. And if you wish for a commoner to speak to you on an even level by debasing you with your first name, then you have already started the break-down of noble privilege.
And one might as well get a job at a bordello at that point. That is all. The Emperor is watching.
SECOND TOPIC
Raised by Her High Grace de Azcoissia
Specifically, I wish to question the actions and words of Lady Morgaine SLumberwood and Lord Kazmeer A Fristadvlom. I understand it is in fashion, with commoners, so blissfully unaware of their own status, declare that they will be running for Chancellor. However I find it exceptionally insulting to, further than that farce, proclaim your beasts of burden and filth will be running to occupy the position of Chancellor. Even further to that, insulting us further by attempting to remind us to not vote for these abhorrent creatures. My heart and condolences go out to the Duke Reinard, whose family member considers his swine to be a worthy opponent to him.
THIRD TOPIC
Raised by His High Grace of Athos
PROPOSAL: Have the state fund our research on the new munitions in full.
RESOLUTION: The funds can just as well be raised by nobles houses independently of this Assembly Hall. Pending the agreement of the Finance Minister, the state will take the required funds for the research project from Houses Solisti, Kreiburg, Avalleia, Conall, von Falkenreich, and Latimer, and send it to the Citadel.
FOURTH TOPIC
Raised by Her High Grace of Vixhall
QUESTION: As I remember, the Regalian Recovery Fund, Economic Recovery Fund, and Restoration Fund were all merged during the Iron Peace. The Recovery Fund in specific had a significant amount in it, and it follows that this new Fund would too. What happened to the contents of that fund since the Iron Peace?
ANSWER FROM THE REEVE'S OFFICE: Contextually speaking, the Finance Minister finally got rid of the last of the state debt from Tyrannian's acts, building on the work that austerity under von Drachenburg set forth. This created a false sense of security in state finances. That a state that normally operates on a surplus income of say, 100,000 Regals, is suddenly operating at a healthy margin with 5,000-10,000 income.
What this resulted in, was a so called allotment of finances where the finances are split and split and subdivided and redivided. And re-merged and sent on and so forth. The long gist of it is. Legislation over the past 6 months or so have effectively drained all of these funds, except for the Northern Development Fund because this one legally cannot be touched.
The State is out of money. All funds, except for the NDF are empty. And the recent acquisition of an Alms Ministry is bleeding the coffers dry, along with the war. Anything beyond this point in terms of finances, is asking the Finance Minister to engage in increasingly more creative mental gymnastics. The state has saved funds, but these funds are being spent as quickly as they arrive, essentially. And this is because a lot of financial matters are still unresolved three succeeding chancellors down the line.
Losing Ithanian taxes really hurt the State. Losing taxes from Ellador hurt the state. Killing four Digmaans in Hadar hurts the state. The state is just taking losses after losses.
FIFTH TOPIC
Raised by His Grace of Rumvalia
PROPOSAL: If a person infected with vampirism and werebeastism has not turned into a vampire or werebeast yet and seeks curing then they're status as infected not be a crime.
CONTEXT: Simply put, while technicalities in low laws may seem minor to this Assembly, a beating in the village square is not to a peasant trying to decide whether they have caught the chills or have been infected after being attacked by one of these beasts by what is often no discernable fault of their own.
Our current laws place our people in a situation where they must choose between possibly becoming a monster dangerous to themselves and others, and becoming a permanent outcast in their own community.
REBUTTAL FROM MATRON GWENYTH ZYLMOIRA: I hold no vote, and truthfully I speak to you all merely as a civilian, as I stood before. However, I will speak my piece here, as I feel so moved to. I will not slander this topic with insults or the like. Instead, I would choose to say this:
That those who find themselves in such a position. The 'in between', shall we say, are in no danger. I know not what men or women you have seen or met, Your Grace, who ultimately feel they do not have many choices. But they do. The Violet Guard does not condemn those who come to them seeking help. They are in fact eager to help those who need it. Moreover, I am also well and fully able to aid those who find themselves in such a predicament. Those at the Dragon Temple Ruins can also help.
CLARIFICATION FROM LORD COMMANDER VIGGO SORENVIK: I have never arrested someone for possibly being infected. If someone reports that they have been bitten, we either offer them a curing immediately, or they come back every night so our medics may check them for symptoms.
RESOLUTION: Motion vetoed.
SIXTH TOPIC
Raised by His Grace Keen
TOPIC: I raise concerns regarding contemporary developments within the administration of several Regalian institutions; namely, the gradual introduction over past months of democratic practices. These practices, originating within the Violet Order, delegate authorities and responsibilities, those rightfully belonging to the State and members of the esteemed Nobility, unto commoners.
It should go without saying that commoners can not be expected to possess the education, intellect, or comprehensive worldviews and big-picture understandings of government and politics of the Nobility. The very core principle of democracy, that all voices are equal, is a fallacy. Yet, this inherently flawed and intrinsically anti-Nobility ideology is permitted to influence the administration of our city. The very Lord Commander of the Violet Order is, in this day, elected by commoners.
RESOLUTION: Vetoed after a brief talk.
SEVENTH TOPIC
Raised by Tirioc Mionther, Office of the Reeve
My brother Palatial Commander Menelaëis Malanth Mionther knows a certain person of interest in the court of Sol Athentol, who knows a person, who knows a cousin, who has a brother, who knows a person, who has a mistress, who knows a cousin, who knows a Sol in the Allorn Empire, who got into contact with what we presume is a resistance cell against Talea's supposed return.
This cell got into contact with the Regalian Bureau for Information. Not much has come from contact between the two, except for this: The Allorn Empire has been watching the war between Sendras and Regalia, and is emboldened by the state's recent concessions and setbacks, and overstretching of military engagements.
It is their belief. That the Allorn Empire will soon proclaim their claim on the Daendroquin states, and invade those states, claiming that as descendants of their slaves that escaped, that these citizens do not have the right to self determination and thus cannot be part of the Regalian Empire.
I have to urge caution that this is merely a rumor brought to us by a group that has questionable legitimacy and trustworthiness. But it is a matter worth contemplating. The Allorn Empire seems to be avoiding the Asha states for now, despite them being the most obvious candidate for violent engagement. It would appear that there is reason for concern among the Allorn to face the Asha in the field of battle for reasons unknown.
EIGHTH TOPIC
Raised by Tirioc Mionther, Office of the Reeve
There are rumors spreading from Ellador that the Isldar have been embroiled in a civil war for nigh on a year now, and somehow managed to suppress this information. Some towns in Ellador have been freed purely by the merit of the Isldar retreating further inland to deal with whatever element of their society that has deemed it necessary to start a civil war in the middle of a war.
We cannot currently verify whether this is true, but the rumor has it that the religious fanatics have brought conflict on the moderates who want to align with Regalia because we have a Dragon and they don't anymore.
NINTH TOPIC
Raised by His Grace of Athentol
PROPOSAL: Partially lift the restriction on the Isldar to allow them to serve in privilege free Military Positions.
CONTEXT: As it currently stands, many amongst the Peerage have spoken about how Regalia is a place in which any can choose to show loyalty to the Empire through service, allowing them to enlist at the base level, especially if some are already considering wishing to join the Regalian Empire would be a place in which we could start.
RESOLUTION: 22 in favor, 0 Invalid, 0 abstain, 1 Against. Motion passed.[/SPOILER]
34TH LORD CHANCELLOR'S INAUGURAL ASSEMBLY
Penned March 13th, 309
The induction of a new Lord Chancellor comes with a number of changes. In years past, the government changing hands has resulted in mass firings of Ministry officials and sweeping changes to existing legislation. Every Chancellor has an agenda. Their legal changes and picks for their cabinet represent this, but above all they are an extension of His Imperial Holiness and rule only as long as the Assembly allows it.
In times such as these, one can only hope competency was chosen over promises made in backroom dealings.
ASSEMBLY PROCEEDINGS
The race between Reinard and Delmotte was close. Reinard held 24 votes to Delmotte's 22, and the two-wide gap persisted in the final vote. In the end, the vote was 18-16 in Reinard's favor, to much rejoicing from the Mac Conall and Harhold camps.
FIRST WORDS FROM THE STATE CHANCELLOR OF THE REGALIAN EMPIRE
I should like to address the Peerage, briefly. I thank those who have faith in me, and do hope that I prove myself to those who do not.
As matters stand currently, the Empire needs cooperation among us at its highest ranks now, more than is usual, and I aim to achieve this cooperation, as tentative as it may be. I do not intend to lord over this Assembly, but rather will require the support of my Peers in the coming months.
FIRST TOPIC OF THE INAUGURAL ASSEMBLY
Raised by His Grace Cillian Mac Conall.
QUESTION: I would like to hear our New Chancellor's stance on what is to be done with the Allorn—it's an issue that has not been spoken of to the degree it warrants. I propose an official stance on the matter be addressed to them, that they will step no further to the good Daen people, or fine Ailor of any other nation, state or settlement.
RESPONSE: Insofar as diplomacy is a viable option, we will first exhaust that option. But given the extremely delicate nature of that particular subject, it is a matter best addressed by a means I would like to bring into common practice. That is, by Committee. Their state has all but rejected the notion that we are even a sovereign nation, do you truly believe diplomacy will yield any fruit?
I intend to view-over the Peerage and find relevant voices on the matter, from various perceived 'sides', and bring them together after-hours to formulate an ideal plan of action. This will then be brought, broadly, before the Assembly when it is next held. To be approved, or denied and brought under review.
This combines the multiplicity of experts and viewpoints, with the ability to determine things nimbly.
SUPPORT FROM THE REEVE, TIRIOC MIONTHER: To reinforce the Chancellor's stance. The Foreign Minister is not of Royalty. The only thing we know for certain, is that the Allorn rulers refused to meet anyone of non-Royal blood, which is a very normal stance to have for Imperial States.
SECOND TOPIC OF THE INAUGURAL ASSEMBLY
Raised by Reginald von Falkenreich.
CONTEXT: This proposal was defeated in an earlier Assembly.
PROPOSAL: To make the destruction of evidence classified as a crime.
RESULT: Proposal rescinded by Reginald von Falkenreich. The proposal is sufficiently covered by Regalian Low Law I, which states that bearing false witness, or resisting arrest, or hindering a Guard investigation is illegal.[/SPOILER]
CLOSING THOUGHTS WITH EX-CHANCELLOR JARED BANCROFT, FIRST OF HIS NAME
by Emery Houle penned March 13th, 309
His Grace Jared Bancroft is a man of many names and talents, and an example of what is possible for anyone in this Empire if they continually strive for their goals. He began not as nobility, and neither was he anyone of great renown until he worked for it. These days it would be difficult to come across anyone who does not know his story, and with an opportunity to put his experiences to print even more will know it.
This chapter of his life began in service to House Kade. He was adopted, continuing to serve in much the same capacity as before until his bid for the chancellery. Unable to retain the name Kade he became Jared Bancroft in homage to the old Kade-Vassal named used by Cedromar Kade.
WHAT WILL YOU DO NOW THAT YOU'VE DECIDED TO STEP DOWN? AS I UNDERSTAND IT, YOU STILL HOLD YOUR POSITION AS DEFENSE MINISTER.
In my discussion with his High Eminence Reinard, it was decided I ought to remain as Defense Minister. I will not stay for long, but there is work yet to be done in ensuring the Realm remains safe through the coming conflicts.
Outside of that, I will continue my work with the Dragon Temple and Matron Zylmoira, and leading House Bancroft as Duke of Draackenrust.
DID YOU ACCOMPLISH EVERYTHING YOU SET OUT TO DO WHEN YOU ASSUMED OFFICE?
The Finance Minister, her High Grace de Azcoissia, summarized that point well in my last decree. If I hit all the targets I set for myself, I may very well have not put them high enough. Specifically, while I wished for the Whip Ministry to evolve, it became unnecessary when all my Ministers were, in a word, competent.
Failing to find a new purpose for that Ministry was unfortunate. The war in Sendrassia I had hoped to end during my Chancellery, but our Marshal Cabinet will succeed in the end, independent of whoever sits in the Chancellery.
Finally, a few may whisper I did not control the Assembly as strongly as I ought to have, but I would argue that I rarely put legislation I wished to pass before the Assembly at all. Barring the Isldar First Civil Status vote, which needed to go through the Assembly for long-term reasons. I think it best if the Chancellor leads and the Assembly follows, complaining if they wish to.
And complain they did when they all pushed for immediate war with the Allorn, but I held them back then, and hope his High Eminence Reinard does the same; war is never something to enter so lightly.
WHAT COMPELLED YOU TO SERVE IN THE MILITARY THEN? PLEDGING YOURSELF TO DEFEND AGAINST ONE'S ENEMIES IS ANOTHER MATTER FOR NOBILITY WHO NEVER SEE THE FRONT LINES, BUT YOU HAVE FOUGHT. YOU'VE SEEN WHAT IT DOES TO PEOPLE.
The first time? Hm. I was a young Ranger then, wandering on the edges of the Empire. When I decided to move to Regalia proper, it only made sense to continue doing as I had done; fighting what I felt were the most pressing dangers to the Realm.
I have unyielding faith in the Imperial Spirit, and the wars that the State has sent men to fight. To turn away from that conflict, while pretending to be a warrior of any substance? It was necessary, then and now. Until my body gives, I will continue to serve alongside the honorable men of the Regalian Army.
WHAT IS THE ONE PART OF BEING CHANCELLOR THAT YOU WILL AND WILL NOT MISS?
I can't say who said this, but a very competent member of the Government made an astute point about me. I am paraphrasing, but "You belong with one hand in the saddle, another wielding a blade." in reference to the war-hungry conservatives giving me grief in the Assembly Hall. And I do. I believe I did a reasonably good job as Lord Chancellor, and can sleep well over my service. But I will not miss being restricted to wielding a pen, however important that sacred duty is.
As for what I will miss… I suppose nothing. Except the feeling in my heart as it was announced I had won the vote, by a larger margin than any in recent history. The possibilities, the relief, the overwhelming sense of duty. His High Eminence Reinard surely feels the same, and I hope he takes full advantage.
DO YOU HAVE ANY WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT FOR YOUR SUCCESSOR?
I spoke with his High Eminence in private just after the vote. I had a slight fear that the capable Government and Ministries I've created would be dismantled, that he would seek to change too much to establish his own vision. But wisely, he understands the value in building on success. He will rule well, for he is a mediator, in his own words. A moderate, a centrist, and a decent man. So long as he respects our military and remembers his time is brief, I believe he will do well.
Also. I left him a bottle of Gallovian Whiskey, which I consider an essential for a job this stressful.
AS FOR THOSE THINGS YOU WISHED TO TALK ABOUT. ARE WE MISSING ANY?
I will say this. I forgot to thank Klaus Typhonus for his loyalty during my Chancellery, and Lazarus Lupenzi for his work in the Government. And to reiterate, my utmost thanks and appreciation shall ever go to the Regalian Army and their service, sacrifices, and duty to the Realm. I hope the next Chancellor serves to be worthy of their devotion.
HARK! A MESSENGER APPEARS IN NEW CROOKBACK
by Oisin Ratcliffe penned March 8th, 309
A messenger with no immediately obvious affiliation to parties in New Crookback or beyond appeared following a serious thunderstorm. The figure, calling themselves the Brass Whisperer, informed those present that they would deliver a message to any entity—Arken, Ancients, Gods, and Dragons—provided they were adequately identified and a return name provided.
The Brass Whisperer also proclaimed they listened and passed along all the whispers they heard.
A RAID ON THE FAE KNIGHT'S SEPULCHRE
by Edmund Cadigan penned March 20th, 309
It would be incorrect to say there is The Sepulchre, as the Wards of Fae Order has many, and within those Sepulchres many more artifacts—items of considerable history and power. All the same, it was on a fateful Friday that members of Kaahl Dzekh'aar and their supporters clashed against the Fae knights.
Only those who were there could tell you how the battle went, but it was long. Every man was equally pit against someone whose sole objective was moving forward, whether forwards meant into the Sepulchre or the land beyond. Yet the Fae Order is not one caught easily unawares, and they have devoted themselves to protecting these artifacts to prevent a catastrophic future foretold and passed down through their ranks.
Yet one must ask, why do they have this right? The Wards of Fae Order is not one granted Imperial Respect, and neither are they respected by other knightly institutions. It seems they exist only to serve their own ends, even if that end is to prevent a supposed doomsday prophecy. Within their Sepulchres are artifacts belonging to still living peoples who surely deserve the right to wield what is theirs, but are denied this.
Heretical figures gather just beyond Our Lady Salvation Church.
SACRILEGE AT THE LADY SALVATION
by Juliana Lowry penned March 22nd, 309
Every day our faith in the Spirit is tested. Every high, every low, every hardship; and to think that once again armored figures have taken to the streets and performed their justice. There is no lost love for the aberrant, the strange and oft unwanted, but even they are guaranteed safety within our walls and Holy compounds.
Even they have a place within our faith and opportunity to serve the Spirit, and unlike those who proclaim they do ill in the name of our great Spirit, their taint is redeemable. These crusaders have soiled themselves and their intended message by spilling blood on Holy brick. It leads one to wonder then if these were not people compelled to eradicate all they saw impure, but those who wanted to sully the Great Way.
This was no Unionist message. Whatever this group may proclaim to be and no matter how many may witness their deeds, this much will remain true. No Unionist would march themselves in armor onto Holy Ground. No Unionist would take up the sword in their place of faith except in defense—but these are the lies they tell us, and it is for this reason that we must be wary.
STONES THROW REVIEW
by Mackenzie Kearney penned March 23rd, 309
Often in life we are told to not judge a book by its cover, and never have I encountered a dive bar that embodies such a saying like the Stones Throw Cocktail Bar. Ambitiously serving cocktails to slummers, owner Westly Crawford seemed to have spotted a gap in the many bars that dot the Holy City and set up shop at the back of the New Crookback Emporium, likely hoping to gain renown as the only bar with exotic and clandestine cocktails in the Isle.
Decorated in worn red and blues, the Stones Throw is one of the most popular watering holes in the New Crookback borough, possessing abundant seating even on their busiest days, good for groups big or small. As to be expected for its location, locals and patrons might not be friendly to those associated with the government, nobility, or those in the same vein. It is recommended to dress down and remain friendly and polite when visiting for the first time if you are not suited for combat.
Rest assured however, the Stones Throw provides security, more often than not breaking up any fights that might pop up in the interest of protecting business. One should not worry too much about being accosted while at the saloon itself. While their cocktail menu is impressive, with exotic delights and drinks more familiar to Regalians, they serve regular spirits and brews upon request as well, though we advise against coming to visit this drinkery for lunch; they lack any food or snacks and focus on their delightful drafts.
THE HUNGRY HOUND REVIEW
by Mackenzie Kearney penned March 23rd, 309
If you look up the word 'pub' in the dictionary, one might just simply find a sketch of the Hungry Hound's business front. Operated by the well known Lassarus Lopensi, a member of the Lord Chancellors Advisory Cabinet, the Bloodcast Order, and Chairman of the Commoner's Assembly, this busy man is now trying his hand at the restaurant industry with his pub, located next to the Garden Wall and Greygate on Mainstreet.
For those of Ceardian origin, be it Heartland or Highland, the cuisine will undoubtedly be instantly familiar, serving the famous 'fish and chips' among others. For those accustomed to more simple dishes and less spiced foods, this small pub will do the trick. While a little cramped, they do have catered events and often let any talented patron up on their stage to perform for their guests entertainment.
Despite its small seating arrangement, there's usually always a seat open or two, and staff are very welcoming to those of all statuses, be you poor or a Kade royal, and all those in between. Decoration is pleasant and warm, and very conducive to the general atmosphere you'd want in a pub.
While there are no bouncers there per se, most of the staff are easily capable of defending their patrons and Greygate is barely a skip away, so patrons can safely relax inside. Though not exactly teeming with customers, they always attract a decent crowd when they open, which isn't seemingly often.
THE REGALIAN GOSSIP
SLIZZAR IN HOUSE SORENVIK
An ambiguous masked person from the upper crusts of society has provided us with information on House Sorenvik. They believe the Sorenviks are aware of the Slizzar's existence, but they cannot reveal whether it is one of three family members or a servant or guard!
KEEN'S PIEDMONT AFFECTIONS DRIVE HIM TO WAR!
The masked individual continued to inform Miss Anna Chronistic of further information. They believe Alaric Keen to have affections for the de Piedmonts, who are on the cusp of the Cadieux family's lands. This individual thinks he may be targeting them for the sake of the de Piedmonts. Alongside this, Keen intends on battling the Mac Conalls, after losing a spar with Cillian.
House Latimer could be involved as well. After all, the family has backed Keen continuously, and even tried sending Keen money, though it was bounced at the border. Alaric has also stood for the actions of Humaira Reinard, who also duelled Cillian.
EDRICK BLACK'S POSITION IN THE CABINET SOUGHT OUT BY GWENDOLYN BLACK!
After being presumably voted out for incompetence, Gwendolyn seeks to take his place as an admiral. She couldn't keep him in Regalia nor her family together, and this seems like the latest carelessness for her own family.
AFFAIRS RUN RAMPANT AMONG NOBILITY!
House von Falkenreich has an admirer for House Viduggla, and a certain Peirgarten has countless affairs!
MYRIDDEN'S CORNER » ADVICE AND HOROSCOPES
MARCH HOROSCOPES
by Myriddin the Diviner
ASK THE DIVINER
by Myriddin the Diviner, March Edition
"DEAR MYRIDDIN, what are some ways I can get to know someone better? I'm trying to make friends with someone who isn't the most inviting and it's proving to be difficult. Should I just stop trying after they keep shutting me out? It seems like maybe they just don't like me."
- Friend Wanted
MYRIDDEN SAYS: You ask a valid question. It is most likely that they are devoted to another purpose, one which does not require your body in the sacrifice. So it would make sense that they would not return your enthusiasm. Why bring two willing bodies to the sacrificial offering table of a frugal god? You can see how this would make no sense. On a side note, try to have a little more self-confidence. You will be the perfect slaughter of another's erotic conquests.
"DEAR MYRIDDIN, I am a hopeless romantic. I try to keep stern and sensible, though my heart likes to flutter about other ideas. I wish that I could keep it down, and ease my own head. This all became overwhelming when I faced a serious dilemma. I think I have fallen for someone. It feels strong, and I cannot dissuade myself. What will my comrades and men in arms think, if they find out that I am just a lovesick child inside? I am unsure of how I should approach the situation."
- Hopeless Romantic
MYRIDDEN SAYS: It is natural to fall stumbling in love. It is less natural to skin a small animal you found living under an old willow and offer its tender flesh to the ancient beings who claim to preserve the integrity of a folk hero's brilliant, purest love, if only for a taste of something you've never once felt before. We do not choose how it happens. We only know that it does. Embrace any semblance of love that you may see, glimpse, or discover. It is the most precious of magicks. And remember that disdain is a form of jealousy, and rebuke is longing in less words.
"DEAR MYRIDDEN, I, like many successful and attractive women in Regalia, have a husband. Statistically? Sure, it could be considered a plan that may likely not come to fruition. However, I'm a dreamer. I believe in many true loves, and I believe that I'm probably hot enough to be able to lure him in 'til death do us part. And yet, I find him overseas so much & too often for my liking. In short, dear Myridden, how do I keep my love on a leash? (Please don't say blackmail. I've already tried.)"
- The Ball & Chain
MYRIDDEN SAYS: Your lover has gone away too often to dote on you properly? Spending hours tucked away in his quarters hunched over maps, charts, and battle plans neglecting you? You've already tried threatening to leave him and find another but he believes your outbursts to be flimsy and ingenuine? Here's an idea. Capture his attention by putting yourself in mortal danger. If his efforts fail to impress you, simply leave him for a superior man.
If he is truly deserving of your love he will earn it. After this, continue to make him work for your attention, never you his. If he is indifferent then he is boring and not worth the effort. It is easily possible you may be above his league of achievements since statistically, in all of history, no real man has once deserved to have an attractive woman, ever.
CRIME BLOTTER » CRIME NEWS FROM SELECTED BOROUGHS
IMPERIAL ISLE
Main Street, February 16th Kauket Lykke took to the streets with a handful of others to paint and cover the city like a canvas.
Church Row, February 19th Mevri Nephras, Aridai, Maleigha, and Salyphe have painted flowers and a landscape and written the first creed in paint in front of the Cathedral square.
Daenlock, March 1st Marten van Heeresveen has painted an image of a particularly chubby Haurmann wearing a red beret on the side of the El Gustazo. Additionally, bottles were thrown within the building, and the outside wall was left with burn marks throughout.
Daenlock, March 13th Kauket Lykke graffitied a dramatic scene of the Daen people holding the chains of their once oppressors on a wall in the Daen District. "DEFIENDAN A DAENSHORE!"
OLD TOWN
Hangman Road, February 9th Vanora Ssoella, Velkas T'iir, and Lewixia Redore attempted to catch fire to the trees alongside the Salvation Church! Luckily, there were people already in the church to stifle the fire before it spread and caused any damage!
Petal Court, February 16th Thuril 'Sylph' Sylphryalhn and Aeurisia ritualist corrupted a tree.
Petal Court, February 17th Faran Hasylas, Aeda'lyn Kee'lyth, Kauket Lykke, Fingon Snapdragon Hasylas painted a lovely mural on one of Petal Court's walls depicting a meadow scene containing lush flora, frolicking fauna and floral circles around the sun. They have also painted themselves watching from the grass of this mural.
Rose Court, February 21st The Swarm committed Vandalism by the Nook, leaving a giant red flower with various doodles.
Velheim District, March 9th Ayas, Oma and Zeriel shattered the statues of Bashtur and Mershel in the Velheim District.
Petal Court, March 12th Heather Drulvaar and Aeurisia stabbed forks into the path of Petalcourt.
NEW TOWN
Altalaan District, February 10th Augustin and Mal of the Athanasia Scion vandalized the Elf Temple.
Queenwall, February 11th The Technocratic Collective vandalized the Regalian College.
Queenwall, February 24th Antonio Peppe vandalized the New Town clinic, leaving behind scrapes of blood on each threshold and upturned tables in every room. Two red-soaked boots were discarded nearby the scene.
Queenwall, March 3rd The Melting Hammer was thoroughly ruined and wrecked by a large grouping of the Technocratic Collective. Beyond noisily trashing the Smithy, billowy black evidence of flames started within rise from the windows and into the sky. The following shouts could be heard by District dwellers: "You will taste the flames of justice for your sins against the Collective! Now burn to the ground!"
NEW CROOKBACK
March 7th Shalia Zordrush constructed a statue of bone made to honor the fallen Qa'lhata Dzekh'aar housed within a hollow tower of New Crookback.
March 8th Abigail Tucker has utterly destroyed the statue of Qalhata Dzekh'aar. Shattered bone & oil litter the floor of the Hollow Tower in New Crookback.
March 10th Eivind Frisfjell has vandalised the Arken of Power statue in New Crookback by impaling it with its own sceptre and splattered blue paint all over the ritualist circle. Blue handprints cover the red ones.
CROOKBACK BAY
February 17th Charles Kholvunar trashed the inside of the destroyed Church in Crookback Bay, leaving a message for the Void followers on the floor inside.
CITY LIMITS
March 14th Hessolis Dzekh'aar, Shalia Zordrush, Nihelaan, and Aeurisia put up their own banners around the Dragon Statue by the Wheat fields of New Town and dedicated the statue to Draga Ifrit.
ADVERTISEMENTS » CLASSIFIEDS & MORE
The Hungry Hound
The Hungry Hound is a humbly sized pub situated upon Regalia's Main Street run and managed by the Lupenzis. For the Ceardian visitor, the cuisine will undoubtedly be instantly familiar. The pub serves famous fish and chips caters to the average customer, making it a popular place to stop.
Bechard Investigations
When in need of legal or confidential advice why not confer with one of the best? Clement O. Bechard of Bechard Private Investigations offers his services to the city of Regalia. Interested parties are encouraged to contact via letter.
Wan-Xia and Co. Luthiery
Wan-Xia and Co. Luthiery are looking for metallurgy workers, woodworkers, leatherworkers, and any with a knack for music. Wan-Xia can be contacted at the Tyrian Premise.
OBITURARIES
QALHATA DZEKH'AAR
Qalhata Dzekh'aar died this month and is survived by his family, who are glad to know that he is finally at rest.
UPCOMING EVENTS
Annual Springtide Cheese & Wine Festival
The Dubois family invites all to their estate for the Annual Springtide Cheese & Wine Festival from March 19th to the 28th!
Byalan Spring Festival
House Slumberwood invites the Regalian peerage to celebrate the coming of spring with them in the model of a Byalan folktale.
Glitter Ball
Duchess Ino-Femunn invites the peerage to show up in their most lavish, glitzy, glamorous outfit for a Glitter Ball and Social. Everything that glitters is gold.
A Reflection On Our Past
Mistress of Celebrations Tuija Viduggla is announcing the first prestige event for the nobility to participate in! Each family is tasked with creating a piece of artwork whether it be a painting, tapestry, carvings, or even literature that is based on an event that your family had to overcome some adversity in, preferably not a recent generation.
A Spring Whaling
The Imperial Court of Prowess invites all members of the Noble Peerage, their personal, their Whalemasters, and any Knights of Imperial Respect on a sail to the straits of Daendroque aboard the personal trawling vessel of the Mistress.
WRITE-INS & PUBLISHING
Are you in need of a publisher to send your work to the presses? Have something you wish to say? Contact the Sunday Scratch Publishing House today.
ASK THE DIVINER
Desperate for advice? You can ask Myridden a question by SENDING A LETTER to the Sunday Scratch!
SUBSCRIPTIONS @canaaa @FeralGayWalnut @TonyBones @NebulaePrimo @bwmwags3 @BiBiBirdie @JResurrected @AtticCat @Farly108 @BluKnight10 @Lutowski @Iyyiushi @MrNoot1 @MippyMoo @SaltyLikeTheSea @Nirnro0t @HereticTakao @Greys_n @yamiya @Ampers07 @AshenRoman @yamiya @Ampers07 @AshenRoman @ZiggyStarDusted @festiveCorvid @SleepyIsVerySlep @sinhai @Wilvahelm @LilBeast_24 @LeafMC @dimetros @mcmann @essentialess @Arhbi @LumosJared @MantaRey
MENTIONS @Yurs (QALHATA'S OBITUARY) @Acosmism (SACRILEGE AT THE LADY SALVATION) @Icaruscien @fantuinn (STONES THROW REVIEW) @ZiggyStarDusted @MolagBallin (HUNGRY HOUND REVIEW) @AlphaInsomnia (SLIZZAR IN HOUSE SORENVIK) @HeyitsNano @Audianna (KEEN'S PIEDMONT AFFECTIONS) @darkarely (CABINET POSITION) @ChapterDeath (AFFAIRS) @Testlo (Bechard Investigations) @ZiggyStarDusted @MolagBallin (The Hungry Hound) @indyfan98 (Wan-Xia and Co. Luthiery)
THANKS TO...
@Dunmeri for the article art.
@MrScafuto for this month's reviews.
@Aphellon for Myridden's horoscopes and advice.
@FirelightMLPOC for the rebuttal.
Staff.
And everyone who goes out of their way to interact with the paper.
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