Stuff.

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Actually own an authentic newspaper very similar to this, probably a different news agency, though. A piece of American history. We really must learn from our ancestors. Unconditional surrender is the only way to defeat anime. We must vaporise them with weapons of never before seen power.
 
*Sweating* Moves mouse slowly and clicks the Loli tag.
A window shatters and a door is sounded to being kicked in.
"POLICE! PUT YOU HANDS IN THE AIR!" Joe, your average SWAT member bust in late "GET SUM MOTHERF*CKER" You are shot twice by bean bags.