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Broads and Broadswords, Issue #1!
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Written by Laria Mogun, with drawing assistance from Elena Wilson. Editing and Printing provided by Poison Pen Press.
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The Following is an Interview with Baroness Humaira Di Civita, Sergeant at Arms of the Lion Pelt Order:
Broads and Broadswords, Issue #1!
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Written by Laria Mogun, with drawing assistance from Elena Wilson. Editing and Printing provided by Poison Pen Press.
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The Following is an Interview with Baroness Humaira Di Civita, Sergeant at Arms of the Lion Pelt Order:
Laria: "Right then! Onto the interview! So, what lead you to gettin a drop dead body like that? Baroness doesn't exactly spring to mind with thoughts of a big muscled badass, you know?"
Humaira: "Well, to answer it as tactfully as I can, It was the core of my development.
From a young age, the prospect of Knighthood was distilled into me due to… Status. Being read childhood stories of the Green Knights, tales of the Laqoura Lancer and poems of Burdigalic Chivalry. Besides that, my Uncle was of the Lion Pelt Order and due to my House's connections to said order through their industry as Armourers. It was a clear prospect and when I became seven, I took the entry exam."
Laria: "Aaaah, so it was like a cultural thing then? Your dad or mom, or both, were warriors, so you were gonna carry the torch, so to speak?"
Humaira: "Ah… Not Exactly. My mother is a businesswoman and father… A man of the world. Though, you can see my Uncle was a surrogate for that dream and torch."
Laria: "Mmm, that I can! I'll bet he's a great man to have raised a gal such as yourself! And at Seven huh? My, that's quite young! Though, I myself took to clownin since I was an infant! Born and raised in those colorful tents practically. Bah, but this ain't about me. Alright, next question I suppose! What's your weapon ️ of choice Baroness? And, how'd ya pick it? Did it call to ya? Or was it just given to you during like, basic training and all that. Oh! And do you got any special attachment to the weapon ya got now?"
Humaira: "Well, the proof is in the product and the 14 year training of a Knight does produce the finest warriors of the Empire. Though I'm trained in the arts of the Beorl Ax and Bardiche with it, given how similar they are. I've a few weapons in my collection, though the one with attachment is one that'll become an Heirloom. Li Tchanteuse, would you care for me to fetch it?"
Laria: "Certainly, that'd be great!"
Humaira: *The Baroness returns in some minutes with a beautifully huge blade, as inscribed below by our wonderful artist, Elena.*
Laria: "Wow! Thats an incredible piece! Ya mind if I feel its heft while you tell its story? Or is it hands off. No problem if and thats the case."
Humaira: "It's hands off, I'm afraid. Beorls are infamous for the training it takes to wield it without dislocating your shoulders. Even then, some Pelters have still caused injury to themselves in the heat of combat. Li Tchanteuse or The Singer in common, it was a commission placed by my Cousin for me and constructed in the workshop of Her Your Imperial Highness Noor Kade." *The Baroness then stopped to think, before sticking the axe head into the dirt, like a mock sword in a stone* "Try lifting it."
Laria: *The clown attempts to lift it, and, only due to her immense clown strength, is able to do such, whistling in admiration.* "Yeah, that's really weighted… Sheesh, no mercy with this kind of thing, eh?" *The clown muses, before kneeling to offer the blade back to its owner, each slight movement seeming to make the blade, much like its name, sing, in a choir C note.*
Humaira: "Yes, which is why it's more common for myself to use a Bardiche than this."
Laria: "Suppose that's fair. Have a daily driver and then a weapon for special occasions and legacy."
Humaira: "I guess that's a way to put it, though my armoury all tell a story. To help keep up my core strength out with the usual routine, I am a trained blacksmith. Every now and then, I make a new piece just for the artistry of it."
Laria: "Is that so? Well, that certainly has kept your body looking like a solid rock to! I bet arrows just bounce right off of you eh?" *Laughter* "Do you have any favored pieces of your own making? Liiiike, did ya make your own matching rings for that special someone in the distant future? Or maybe just an absolutely superbly balanced blade you forged?"Humaira: "Well, the longest standing is my currty plate set, though, if its a commission piece, it would have to be the sword I made for Duke Piergarten. It had, everything honestly. The right balance, fit for the user. Tasteful ornamental work and with meaning to it all. It was truly a commission I was glad to see the end result of. I could show you the armor, though I would need to lead you to it."
Laria: "I've got nothin but time, if you're willing to show!"
Humaira: *She leads our star clown along towards a blacksmithing area, where a set of armor is set before them both! The utterly beautiful piece is once more sketched by our darling Elena~*
Laria: "Incredible! I'm surprised that this manages to contain all that meat ya got packin on ya. It's so shiny to!"
Humaira: "The Sheen comes from hours at it, buffering with different materials, files, stones to work the sheen on it. Though, it does serve as a means of controlling how I become in battle."
Laria: "Is that so? In what way do you mean?"
Humaira: "My family, least my mother's side of it, have always had a habit for just, well, being able to control their muscle growth on a whim. The Armour ensures that I maintain my grace in combat. To large and I become sluggish, brutish in battle."
Laria: "I see! Gotta keep your nimble, catlike reflexes. When do you find yourself using your muscles to their maximum capacity, if ever?"
Humaira: "When I can no longer offer to show restraint."
Laria: "Brutal! Eheh, I hope if I ever have to be on the receiving end of that, its certainly not in a fight." *Soft laughter*
Humaira: "Well, it only becomes like that in a fight. Thankfully."
Laria: "I take it that's because your more muscular form is less uh, socially accepted? Or do you just prefer the more effeminate charmsin life."
Humaira: "I prefer to be true to who I am, my limit isn't my standard. My current stance form is. Even then the armour is made for more bulk to it."
Laria: "Eheh, Understandable. Well then, unless you've got any other neat things you'd like to show me, I've just got one last question for you."
Humaira: "Go on."
Laria: "Are you a sunflower, or a dandelion ?"
Humaira: "I'm a rose."
Laria: "Oho! Answering outside of expectation! I like it. And what makes you a rose besides your lovely red hair?"
Humaira: "I hold grace, gentle on the eye and bring beauty to where I go, though I am also thorned, lethal and even accidentally so, sewing pain where love should flow. Both sides as one, redeemed."
Laria: "As beautifully worded as you are beautiful yourself, Baroness. Thank you for the interview."
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The Rest of the Papers are filled with drawings of large weaponry, wielded by just as large ladies, ranging from berserkers to towering armored knights. Something for everyone!
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((Artist Credit in order of appearance. (Body) Katzeko, (weapon) MonMarty, (armor) Sozzie, (Portrait) Cocoacherry ))
Next Edition: https://forums.massivecraft.com/threads/broads-broadswords-issue-2.95953/#post-1018765
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