Preserved Sheet Alexa Althea

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@Volaie
Hey my guy, just wondering if you're almost finished with looking over my application or not? I'm not trying to rush but with all the events and such going on as of recent ICly my character is one of the main gang that is fighting alongside the Resistance and needs to be active in events. And I need an accepted application to use abilities/Prof Points to. So, just stopping to check in rq. Thank you! :D
 
Sorry about that wait.

So, before I even read through your Life-Story, I'm going to need you to cut it down. It exceeds 2,000 words, when the limit, at the max, is 900. You can place your longer version in a spoiler, but for the main application, I'm going to need to see a story at the most of 900 words.

Please tag me when you are finished.
 
Sorry about that wait.

So, before I even read through your Life-Story, I'm going to need you to cut it down. It exceeds 2,000 words, when the limit, at the max, is 900. You can place your longer version in a spoiler, but for the main application, I'm going to need to see a story at the most of 900 words.

Please tag me when you are finished.
@Volaie *Yikes* ahhh, no, no, really its fine don't sweat it too much alright? With everything my character has been through and how ancient she is. Over time I have been trying to cut down on the backstory and put parts into Spoilers where I can and keep it short. I put another decently large section in a Spoiler. Is this fine?
 
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So, your Life-Story is still decently long. As I said before, I need you to give me a 900-word summary of all of this, and put your original in a spoiler. I am asking you to re-write this section, essentially. I don't want you to have to delete everything, so you can put your larger bit in a spoiler, but please give me a much smaller scale. There's also something I'm confused about — in the bit I read, Ania arrived at age 13, assuming you meant this is when you first started role-playing her. How can 50+ years have passed since this date?
 
So, your Life-Story is still decently long. As I said before, I need you to give me a 900-word summary of all of this, and put your original in a spoiler. I am asking you to re-write this section, essentially. I don't want you to have to delete everything, so you can put your larger bit in a spoiler, but please give me a much smaller scale. There's also something I'm confused about — in the bit I read, Ania arrived at age 13, assuming you meant this is when you first started role-playing her. How can 50+ years have passed since this date?
Oh, I started playing her Mar 28, 2019 . So it's been a few good OOC years now, and I time skipped quite a bit, but I could age her down if need be? And- ah now I see. I'll get to work on that. I thought you wanted me to try cutting it all visually down to just 900 words keep the rest in spoilers. But I can do that,
 
Don't worry about it. You can focus on your Life-Story, which is all I need.
I feel guilty, I'm like "I need my app accepted asap"
Also me: Takes like, three full days to make all the edits and get back to you on it. I got completely hammered this weekend with events. Thank goodness I'm getting a very much needed four day weekend this week from school lmao.
I made a shortened version and I hope it's what you wanted. Just Ping me if something else needs to be done thank you! :D
@Volaie
 
Perfect! Thanks for making the changes.

APPROVED
 
@Volaie I am, so sorry for this. I tried getting to the files to delete some things clogging up my files area and it kicked off my tag. I also chose to give Ania some shielding combat, and bought a few more Engineering packs, and yeeted Modern Altalar and left Faraddi as her single parent language given now she can't have two parent languages. Lmk if this is ok or not.
 
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@Acosmism I removed her
Magic Bolt 1
Artifact Knowledge
Shield Combat Training
Metallurgy (I never got to use it a whole lot)
And I replaced it all with investing into Caster Ranged Combat, chosen alignment for abilities are Primal Powers as to match with her Primal Affliction. I hope this is ok! Just lmk. Due to the nature of the abilities acting mainly as utility and not direct combat abilities. I think it should be overall fine. Given Cratos are meant to be heavily intuned to being utility anyways.
 
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Yanar Racial Ability Kit / Yanera-Flor
All the below are listed as Racial Spells

Sorcery Skill I/1
Gives access to:
Light Mend I/1

World Shift I/1
Ability Description: Allows Alexa to sing-bend dead objects. Such as wood, metal, so forth. At will, to any shape she would like.

Flux Shift V/5
Ability Description: Allows Alexa to change the looks of her clothing at will.

Yanar Biology I/1
Ability Description: Allows Alexa to use Wyldbirthing, and upon dying to respawn within 48 hours. Being usable only four times a year. And also make herself a plant companion called a Yatil.

Yanar Biology II/2
Ability Description: Allows Alexa To willingly while in a rental region with Home Enchant 7 in it. To enter a dream world and bring in others with her. Or forcefully drag someone into the world and photobomb them mentally.

Yanar Biology III/3
Ability Description: Allows Alexa To at will summon And unsummon a five to six foot tall wooden stave. Which can be handed off to someone else, but rots within 48 hours. If it's stolen from Alexa she needs to wait said 48 hours to regrow a new one.

Home Enchant VII/7
Ability Description: Allows Alexa to make a home or region become covered in plant life. With small plant beings that help her around the garden. And these beings will also attack any aggressive people I'm the garden. Cutting all their combat profs by 25%.

Flux Shift 7
Ability Description: Alexa can change the race she is at will, however people can always recognize her across different forms and the like. Her voice always remaining the same.

Empath Sense 2
Ability Description: This ability allows Alexa to stare at a person and copy that person exact emotions. Allowing her to feel them for herself, however this ability doesn't give her any insight or idea behind this persons emotions unless its obvious on the outside.

steampunk-demo-by-marta-van-eck-7-png.176162

Sorcery [All Sorcery Spells are Exist based]
Travel Abilities
True Path I/1 [Bought Ability] [Sorcery Spell]
Ability Description: When beginning into a sprint. The Alexas body will be shot forwards as multiple wires and hooks would blast out of a belt she wears. Near instantly shooting her forwards in anywhere within a ten-block radius. And as well as allowing her to avoid and maneuver around anyone within her path. This ability has a 15-minute cool down.

Support Abilities
Light Mend I/1 [Sorcery Skill I/1] [Sorcery Spell]
Ability Description: When putting a metal device of hers over a wound. Microbots will be injected into the wound. Which will begin to near-instantly cause the wound to rapidly heal over as if the process for its healing was in 100X speed boosted. Before finishing up and returning to the metal device.

Roguery abilities

Home Upgrade I/1 [Bought Ability] [Region Enchant]
Wall Climb III/3 [Bought Ability] [Self]
Ability Description: When jumping up, a large array of wires and hooks will blast out from a belt she wears. Swinging her upwards towards wherever rooftop or land below she is trying to get to. Or she can small out a small technology piece that forms into a grappling hook that she can use to get around.

Caster Ranged Combat Abilities

Magical Conduit!: Alexa carries around with her a small device made seemingly from a pitch black dark metal. That every so often has pure soul essence flow out of it. When activating an ability she will take this device in hand, which after the soul essence stored inside will unleash itself, opening up to preform whichever ability Alexa is trying to use it for.

Spell Shot [Bought Ability] [Primal Power]
Ability Description: When using this ability, Alexa's device will rapidly expand, before sending off a powerful blast of soul essence towards a target. If the attack lands, a wound equivalent to that of a dagger slash is made. A puncture wound if the target was wearing armor. This ability has a 30 second cooldown.

Beam Focus [Bought Ability] [Primal Power]
Ability Description: When activating this ability, Alexa's device will rapidly expand, before sending off a constant beam of soul essence towards a target. This ability cannot miss, if the target is holding a shield, than the target cannot move around at all, being locked in place. But the target can let out of the shield at any time. If the target doesn't have a shield, they can move around freely, but they cannot walk anywhere near the caster. When deactivated this ability goes on a 30 second cooldown.

Magic Nova [Bought Ability] [Primal Power]
Ability Description: When activating this ability, Alexa's device will rapidly expand, before sending off a magical blast of soul essence that does not effect Alexa. But, anyone within ten blocks of her instantly gets pushed another ten blocks back, however this does not knock them over. And secondary, any any Ability or Mundane Technique projectiles that were en-route to them [expect for those of 20 prof techniques]. Get instantly turned into ash by the blast and do not harm Alexa in anyway. Finally, this ability cannot be used to throw people off cliffs and ledges, but does cause damage if a target hits a wall. This ability has a 20 minute cooldown.

No Passage [Bought Ability] [Primal Power]
Ability Description: When activating the ability, Alexa's device will rapidly expand, before activating a magical shield. If the shield is being used on herself. A blast of soul essence will extend from the device, but it stays within a radius all around her before stabilizing into a dome of soul essence. Acting as an immobile channel Alexa cannot move around while this ability is activated, however she does become protected from all magical and mundane based ranged technique projectiles. And it takes five full minutes of constantly hitting the shield with melee attacks or abilities, to break it. In which the shield of soul essence would shatter instantly around her. This is the same case if the ability is used on a passageway, which cannot be any bigger than 5x5 blocks. When using it on a passageway the soul essence becomes more like a wall in front of her rather than a round dome around her. Once the shield is down, it goes on a 10 minute cooldown. This ability can also be held indefinitely if not destroyed. Finale note, while this ability is activated, she can still speak and look around, but cannot use any other abilities.
Condense this further or put it in a spoiler. Takes up too much space and the aesthetics don't help.
Physical Stat: 25 [Yanar Cap: 25]
❈Gardening x0.5, Theatre x0.5, Circus Art xo.5, Horticulture x0.5, Metallurgy x0.5, Stave x1, Shield x1,
❈2 Gardening, 4 Theatre, 2 Circus, 2 Horticulture, 6 Metallurgy , 16 Stave, 4 Shield
❈(2 / 2) + (4 / 2) + (2 / 2) + (2 / 2) + (6/2) + 16 + 4
❈1 + 2 + 1 + 1 + 3 + 16 +4 = 28

Body Shape:
❈Athletic
Body Fat:
❈Average
You need only list the phys stat.
How would your character express Happiness and Contentedness?
❈Alexa when happy normally would let out a small smile sometimes accompanied by a laugh. But otherwise not much else, either often being too tired now and days to show off much energy at a time. But it can be more childlike should Alexa feel up to such and is well rested along with being very pleased or happy by what's happening.
"When you get the moment, enjoy what you have and the moments of peace you get. Cause you could wake up to it all being voidfire the next day."


How would your character respond to experiencing Fear?
❈Her ears would pin down to her head when in fear with her tail freezing in place behind her. However, her expression remains stone cold. As is her natural reaction to try and hide her fear or fright by something and try to seem tough. However, friends often can see through this disguise.
"Fear is weakness, don't show it to others.. less you want your place to be challenged."


How would your character respond to experiencing Stress?
❈Alexa normally will try to shrug off or ignore her stress. If that doesn't work, then find the source of her stress and the problem. And attempt to rid of it in any way shape or form.
"Life has always been stressful, I won't cave now. I can always deal with this later."


How does your character view Law and Authorities?
❈She sees them quite frankly as useless. Even before her infection they had been. The multiple attacks and lack of care for the citizens. Even from her own Nobles she worked for and found herself wishing to be undoubtedly loyal to with no end. As she was introduced to Vampirism and joined a coven. Her faith in the guards and Peerage grows weaker every passing day.
"Most of the Guards and the Peerage are useless nowadays, I mean, they are the reason I am what I am today."


How does your character feel about Races other than their own?
❈She does not judge others based on their race. Believing all races are naturally equal and should be such. As she knows the need to fight for an accepted place in the world during her younger years. With the constant pressure to improve and push herself for approval. And therefore wishes for no one else to need to fight like she did.
"Do not judge who you do not understand. Get to know them first before you make assumptions of that person based on skin. Or what they look like."


How does your character feel about Religion for themselves, and other faiths?
❈Her Religion, which used to be of Estel most of her life. Quickly changed to that of the Dhul-Enhura after her turning into a Cratos. The Religion which she had learned from both her adopted father, Rhys Sagh and step brother Rizu Sagh. She sees Dhul-Enhura as the now true and only God in her life. Given how many times she believed the one she worshipped before had failed her. And watched people who didn't worship Dhul-Enhura fall into insanity. Believing it was her destiny to join the Collective, hence why she was spared of her life after turning and kept her Dhul-Enhura for.
But it's not to the level she would force her Religion on others nor even judge their Gods. She would likely more or so just humor them however. And pity them if she speaks to then of Dhul-Enhura but not heave her warning.
"May Dhul-Enhura Eclipse all those Gods and Goddesses fake and punish those who refuse to seek the truth and ignore his ancient wisdom."


How does your character feel about the Arcane and Magical in the world?
❈Alexa sees magic as a useful tool to use. But also a special passion to herself. She had grown up learning it from her friend Leth who had taught her the way of magic growing up. And she had later moved off to look for more ways to improve her magical abilities and trying multiple different kinds of magic. But it never truly worked to satisfy what she wanted for herself. That was when she took on Vampirism. And her already current healing abilities are enhanced beyond normal standard. Only then did she feel really.. Satisfied.
"Magic is alright, but it will never compete against machinery."


How does your character feel towards their family?
❈Her birth mother and other family members had mostly left the city. With her grandfather killed and her mother simply out on adventures. Alexa began feeling a hole inside herself she needed filled. So when she joined the Collective shortly after she was adopted by Rhys and Sivo Sagh. Who is now whom she strives and works towards impressing. She also has now her little sister who is also named Alexandria and an older brother named Rizu. And her weird uncle figure in life who she thinks to be an idiot but at least he is her idiot. Whom is named Lock.
"My family is that of the Collective. And I am happy now among them."


What is your character the most proud of about themselves?
❈She is proud of her ability to help and care for her coven, and her current noble house, Kreiburg. Which she had always strived her best to be recognized and seen. Being loyal to both groups to no end. Making one of her most defining traits be loyalty to those she finds herself caring about.
"I will remain loyal to those I care for. Unless one of them forces my wrath."


What motivates your character to move forward and better their life?
❈As of now it likely would be the Collective. Whom she wants to stay with and keep marching onwards with them in their endeavors. After many failed attempts at finding happiness among other groups, she had near given up. Until she met Rhys.
"I live onwards to fight for my friends, those I care for. And my Coven.


What is your character's biggest insecurity?
❈Her biggest insecurity at the moment is very likely the fear of abandonment. And having no place in the world or true social life. Where Alexa as a Sanguine is more self secluded. She still depends often on the social interactions she has on the surface with different crowds. For however much she must like her new life. She truly can never give up what she had grown up doing. And that is more or so being a social butterfly.
"If news of my Vampirism gets out, I know for certain my social life might as well be destroyed. And those I trusted will turn their backs on me and attempt to cure what doesn't need cured."


What is your character's biggest fear?
❈She greatly fears fire, for in her eyes. It's a vile thing she finds herself both thankful for but also scared of. Keeping flames in her homes full of plants inside controlled fire places or furnaces, and refuses to use lanterns or torches. As she does not want her home burning down but also needs the provided heat during the harsher times of year."
"Fire is beautiful with the way the flames move and glow, yet it's so deadly and can cause so much destruction at the same time."

Character Quirks
Alexa has an entire language-like thing when it comes to her moods and personality. Which friends can often use to tell what Alexa is feeling even when she tries to hide it.
❈Content or Happy: Tail waves gently back and forth behind her.
❈Excited: Tail moves around in a circular motion.
❈Sad: Tail drapes down to the ground and drags across it.
❈Fearful: Tail instantly stiffens out and becomes nearly still as a rock.
❈Angry: Tail lashes back and forth behind her
❈Disgusted: Tail becomes more stiff and twitches.


character's skills.
❈Alexa loves nature and gardening. She owns a garden which is basically her entire home which she often tends to and takes care of. Growing all kinds of fruits and plant life in it. She also has a hobby of acting and doing acrobatics (circus arts). She had recently learned from Rhys how to work and tinker with some Clockwork but not a lot of it, along with making forging and working with armory and weapons another hobby of hers. Meanwhile she practiced her fighting skills with her mother Sivo.
Remove this entirely. Put in a core concept section.
Please actually follow the new character application format. You're missing progression talents entirely as well. Overall your app is very long with unnecessary information.

Tag me when these changes have been made.
 
Also please mark your application as "needs re-review" when you change things.
 
Condense this further or put it in a spoiler. Takes up too much space and the aesthetics don't help.

You need only list the phys stat.

Remove this entirely. Put in a core concept section.
Please actually follow the new character application format. You're missing progression talents entirely as well. Overall your app is very long with unnecessary information.

Tag me when these changes have been made.
I put the entire ability section into a spoiler.
For the phy stats isn't the points going into the phy stat important to note down so people, staff particular don't need to do the math themselves cause it's already all chocked down for them? The reason it's like that is mostly for staff convenience. But I'll remove it no problem if it needs to go.
And than on her personality I put it into a spoiler and left the Core Concept right on top of it. So if people want to read about Alexa and her personality in more detail they can.
 
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I put the entire ability section into a spoiler.
For the phy stats isn't the points going into the phy stat important to note down so people, staff particular don't need to do the math themselves cause it's already all chocked down for them? The reason it's like that is mostly for staff convenience. But I'll remove it no problem if it needs to go.
And than on her personality I put it into a spoiler and left the Core Concept right on top of it. So if people want to read about Alexa and her personality in more detail they can.
As I said. You need ONLY the phys stat. You can remove the body shape/fat but keep the calculation.
 
Pulling this back into review as it was revealed to me that Cratos cannot use the ranged caster category. Please correct this and tag me when you're done.
 
Pulling this back into review as it was revealed to me that Cratos cannot use the ranged caster category. Please correct this and tag me when you're done.
I gave her Astral Being 2, Element Brand 2, and Element Control 5, and than invested +4 points into Circus arts and +6 points into fist combat.
 
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❈3 / True Path 1 [Learned from Rhys Sagh]
❈3 / Element Brand II/2 [Self taught]
❈3 / Element Control V/5 [Self taught]
❈3 / Astral Being II/2 [Self taught]
❈6 Fist Combat [6 Points] [Learned from Benjamin Wulfmacht]
You need to choose either combat or sorcery, you cannot have both. Thus far you have a fist-fighter engineer sorcerer, which is essentially a jack of all trades,

This overall proficiency spread doesn't quite align with a Cratos. If you make the changes indicated, however, you should be good to go. Tag me when you've finished.
 
You need to choose either combat or sorcery, you cannot have both. Thus far you have a fist-fighter engineer sorcerer, which is essentially a jack of all trades,

This overall proficiency spread doesn't quite align with a Cratos. If you make the changes indicated, however, you should be good to go. Tag me when you've finished.
I removed Astral Being 2, Element Control 5, all the Fist combat profs. And replaced it with 2 Metallurgy packs. gave her Home Enchant 1, kept Element Brand 2 because of nature aesthetics. I gave her back Engineering Weapons. And gave her back the Modern Altalar language via Linguistics. And finally I gave her Rogue Gift 4. I'm trying to make more of a balanced mix between her nature as a Yanar and a Cratos.
@Acosmism
 
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I removed Astral Being 2, Element Control 5, all the Fist combat profs. And replaced it with 2 Metallurgy packs. gave her Home Enchant 1, kept Element Brand 2 because of nature aesthetics. I gave her back Engineering Weapons. And gave her back the Modern Altalar language via Linguistics. And finally I gave her Rogue Gift 4. I'm trying to make more of a balanced mix between her nature as a Yanar and a Cratos.
@Acosmism
If you want to keep all of your combat, you'll need to remove sorcery entirely, or vice versa.

Moreover, and this is more of a comment and less something that you can really act on, but a Yanar Cratos is contradictory in and of itself by title alone, much less function. Trying to balance between the two may dip too far into the end of concept poisoning.

Tag me when you have made your changes.
 
If you want to keep all of your combat, you'll need to remove sorcery entirely, or vice versa.

Moreover, and this is more of a comment and less something that you can really act on, but a Yanar Cratos is contradictory in and of itself by title alone, much less function. Trying to balance between the two may dip too far into the end of concept poisoning.

Tag me when you have made your changes.
All sorcery has been removed, you were right Aco. For a Cratos to have magic doesn't make any sense and I should've realized that sooner. Upon becoming a Cratos Alexa would've abandoned sorcery entirely in truth, but when Technik was removed I wanted to try keeping some of her old abilities. I was dumb, to think otherwise, it made no sense for her as a character and I apologize immensely for the issues I may had caused staff.
@Acosmism
 
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@Acosmism Hey Aco, you there? It's been a while so I'm just checking in?
 
@Acosmism
It has been done, Alexas app just got a huge overhaul and I plan to upload Ania's app soon enough to. Yay to Wind/Nature sorceress.
 
Sihndar Dialect
✤[Learned from Deldrax Dri'alatran]
✤Linguistic Science
✤[10/10]


Calem
✤[Learning from Heinrich Wulfmacht]
✤Linguistics Science
✤[4/10]


Modern Altalar
✤[Learned from Leth]
✤[Linguistics Science
✤[7/10]
You have 9 points worth of linguistics listed and only 6 points invested.
 
You have 9 points worth of linguistics listed and only 6 points invested.
My bad! Modern Altalar is meant to be her parent language, I had made Faraddi her parent language for a while and Modern Altalar a Linguistic Language. Forgot to edit that though back to being her parent language,
@Acosmism
 
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@Acosmism I uploaded another file to the thing and lost the tag, basically just putting down her Progression Talents down at the very bottom. Nothing too fancy,
 
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@Volaie Wait I'm dragging you back here for one second! I noticed on the Cahal thing it says
Cahal do not have any Abilities in their Base Kit. Instead, Cahal gain 4 commutable Point-Buy Points that can be spent in specific Categories. These commutable Point Buy Points do not increase any Proficiency Stat, but allow the purchase of additional Point-Buy Packs, even if a Character already has 7 Packs bought in that Category. These commutable Point-Buy Points must be mentioned on the Character Application, and are lost instantly when the Character is cured. These Commutable Point Buy Points may be used in the following Categories: Engineering Point Buy, Alchemy Point Buy, Magic Point Buy, and Afflicted Point Buy a unique category only certain Afflictions have access to. Each Cahal Type does still have Specials though.

I just added those four packs spread, I'm sorry ahh. Let me know if I did this wrong or not, at this point with all this free stuff I'm getting. It feels illegal,
 
You're right. Approved!
 
@Volaie I decided it felt like WAY too much magic, so I knocked down quite a lot of Alexas magic and reinvested the points elsewhere. Such as into Constitution with arts and crafts for Alexa and became stricter to only Nature/Exist lined type magics for Alexa. I also made some other changes here and there in general trying to make Alexa feel more balanced as a character.