Stuff.

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How about we grab some of the memes we like best from this thread (*cough* pgs 97-123) and post em (maybe it will spark some new ones).
 
Gerald ascended the steps to the Tavern, one at a time, tonight he would finally show his Mom/Landlady that he could too get a date! With a bag of cookies she sent with him, he marched proudly to the nearest bar.
Mommy doesn't let me drink alcohol, because she says it's 'bad for me'. I'll show her! It's good for me! I'll drink a pint of Ale, then go get a date! "Hey bar guy! Give me a pint of Ale! Now!" The bartender glared at him, getting the pint-sized glass of Ale ready. He held it until he was paid. Gerald looked on expectantly. "Come on you stupid slow poke! Give it to me!" The bartender rolled his eyes. "You have to pay first, sir." Gerald let out a might "REEE!". He knew it would scare the bar guy into feeding him alcohol, it works with Mommy, after all. The bar guy was un-phased. Impossible. Gerald screamed at him "GIVE ME THAT ALE OR I'LL COME OVER THIS BAR!" The barkeep replied simply "Nah." Gerald huffed, and rummaged through his sack of cookies. He got out a greasy handful of Regals Mommy had given him a week ago in exchange for 100 Good Boy Points, and threw them on the counter. The slimy bartender smiled, and Gerald finally got his well-deserved drink. He grabbed it up, and started chugging. He immediately stopped, and spewed it all over the bartender. "You gooched my drink!" he yelled. The bartender ignored him, and Gerald knew he had to drink it anyway, to prove Mommy wrong. He chugged it heroically, coughing only a little bit at the burning taste. He threw the mug down, and walked to the sitting area. He only spilled a little bit of Ale on him, but maybe the girls would think it made him smell manly. He surveyed the room. Just a bunch of men, or should I say little girls. Ha ha! They think they're tough, but they can't beat anyone at Poker! He walked around for a few minutes, looking for a damsel in distress to go save and fall in love with. He was such a catch, how could anyone resist him? Finally! A hottie plant babe. He walked up to her, and started making the small talk. "Hey baby!" he exclaimed at her. What a weirdo, this plant had two different color eyes. "Wha-What?" they asked. The Yanar stepped back, eyeing him. "I'm Gerald! What's your name?" She hesitantly replied, clearly shocked by his sexiness, "I-I... Miss Haaven. /Mrs./ Haaven." She wanted it. He could tell. She was playing hard to get by acting married. "Oh, a married lady, huh?" he asked. "Yes- Yes." Gerald pressed on. "Yeah, well I bet he's not such a hottie as me, is he?" Gerald said. 'Mrs' Haaven paused. "So, you free tonight?" Gerald asked. He was going to get this pretty planty and show Mommy he COULD get a date! "Sir, flirting with a married woman violated the sanctity of vow law. I'd suggest that your perhaps slightly inebriated demeanor and direct it somewhere else." Gerald moved closer, his manly Ale smell clear. "Aw, but you're not really married, are ya'? You're just playing hard to get." The Yanar once again stepped back at the smell of his overbearing manliness. He was just too sexy for her. A stupid weird person that looked like a snake or something asked if she was okay, but he was just jealous of Gerald. "No, I'm quite married I think you'll find. And if you don't take a step back right this instant I'll be forced to alert the authorities." He got in between them and told Gerald to leave her alone, but he wasn't going to give up so easy. He let out a blood-curdling "REEEE!" battle cry as he swung for the snake's jaw, or whatever snakes have for jaws. He was going to show this normie chad how to be alpha! Some stupid Nelfin grabbed his fist, though. He let out another scream. He called for help from his mother bravely, hoping she would hear and come to his aid. Then, he remembered the cookies. The evil Elf tried to restrain him as he reached for a Bargain Cookie. That's what Mommy calls them. It always makes him calm down, it'll calm them down too! The plant got a Lance out and was grabbing some whistle on the Elf's waist. He was able to get out a cookie, and said quickly "W-Wait! S-Stop! T-Take a Bargain Cookie! Mommy gives them to me make me calm down!" Then, he screamed "YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN!" He was yelled at to shut up by several of these normies. He was flopped on the ground by the Nelfin. Stupid Elf! He heard clanking. Probably those corrupt guard people who abuse the smart ones. The plant screamed at him. They talked about how we was insane as he tried to reach the plant girl's toes to kiss them. Then he could tell Mommy he kissed a girl! Hah! He kissed the bare plant feet, and then exclaimed "HAH! I KISSED A GIRL!" He yelled as the plant shrieked. Then, in an act of true love, she sent a foot for his face. Kinky. He screamed in pretend agony. Then he got his back stomped on by someone, but he couldn't see them. He yelled and cried manly tears. He was grabbed by the collar, and pulled up. He threw his Bargain Cookie at his captor, and screamed "BARGAIN COOKIE! LET ME GO!" Then, the creepy person bit him on the wrist as he screamed. He wasn't scared, it just startled him. He tried to face his captor, but he was placed in a choke hold, instead. He gagged and gasped, sputtering "I-I k-kissed you!" The person holding him spoke, telling him to put his hands behind his back or they'd stab him, and he heard it was a woman. He choked out "O-Oh! I-It's a lady!" The Yanar stepped closer with their lance. "I-I'm too s-sexy for you t-to resist!" he sputtered. The stupid Yanar said he disgusted her. He gagged one last time before he passed out from being choked. He was thrown on the ground like a sack of potatoes, then shackled. His 185 pound healthy body was lifted off the ground, and dragged to a prison cell. The jerks took his cookies and threw it on a bunk. He groaned as he began to regain consciousness. He heard shackles being removed as he opened his eyes to look around. "M-Mommy?!" he called out. Not because he missed her, but because she probably staged this to make fun of him and tell him to move out, but she was nowhere in sight. He whimpered as he was kicked, and told to shut up. He scooted away from them, into a corner of the cell. Two of the stupid people, the plant and a Northern girl, who he thinks threw him on the ground, were talking about babies or something. The girl walked out of the cell, followed by a northern guy and the plant. He noticed he was missing his special made sack from Mommy, and made an angry sound, looking around before he found it. He scarfed a cookie immediately. He hadn't eaten in around 20 minutes and was starving. He wondered what happened to his Bargain Cookie earlier. "Your name, madman!" the northern lady said. 'Your mom!" Gerald replied. The woman threatened him with a beating. "I'll tell you if you give me a kissy-kissy!" He said seductively. The woman entered his cell, no doubt to give him a big fat smooch. She made her way towards him as he giggled expectantly. "You have one chance to give me your name before I bash your face in." she said. Gerald frowned. Spaghetti spilled from his Cookie bag as he stuttered through a mouth of cookies. "G-Ge-" She stepped closer. He panicked, and shouted out "G-Gerald!" "Gerald. What." the woman asked. "Schmit!" He exclaimed. The woman glared at him before marching out of his cell. She scribbled on a piece of paper. Stupid Northern was probably writing in her diary about how hot he was.
 
Part 2

The woman left, and the northern guy walked into his cell. He marched over with a balled fist. "Hah! You're probably jealous of how all those women were all over me!" The man cursed at him, questioning what he said, and inched closer. The man grabbed Gerald's shirt, and Gerald let out a whimper. "W-Wait!" Gerald said, as the man said he was tired of s**t bags like Gerald walking the streets. "I-I'll tell my mommy!" The man punched Gerald in the nose, and Gerald cried manly tears. It didn't hurt, he just wanted to make the guy think he won so he'd go away. The man screamed more profanities at Gerald, and grabbed the back of his head. The man bared his teeth and growled at Gerald. This guy was like a bear of something. He then slammed Gerald's head into the wooden frame of the bunk bed. He started screaming cries, and yelled "S-Stop! I-I'm telling Mommy! Sh-She'll get you in big trouble!" The man then went AFK, and logged off.
 
I'm on the eigth page now. Only major events like pages full of textspam and new posters and the first recorded meme are written on it. leaving it for tonight, will pick up later if you remind me
 

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