A Declaration To Two Fools.

[DuchBargollo]

To those unsure of the purpose of this post, I'll start by giving the context. Clovis has decided it would be a good idea to not only threaten false blackmail upon a noblewoman but also defend a disgusting, violent man named Wulf E. Grosmid with this 'information'.

For those that have seen the notices posted all about this 'information', this is because of Clovis' petty revenge against the noblewoman reporting a legitimate crime upon herself. For context once again, Lady Allynna Mecatl was attacked by Wulf E. Grosmid whilst he was failing to capture a Cahal (which breaks vigilantism laws). Now I didn't want to write about this at first, because my hate towards this man has already been posted upon this noticeboard before and it's wrong to talk about the personal experience of a very caring noblewoman, but now the situation has changed, and I'm here to spread the truth instead of pathetic little posters spewing utter crap to sour this poor Lady's name.

I am beyond annoyed and utterly disgusted by the actions of both Clovis and Wulf. These two men are both absolute idiots. Let me start this by speaking of my experience of Clovis as a constable. There was the time he defended a terrorist by the name of Haqet, another when he failed to defend a man who was lying to my face about having a weapon permit and tried defending another terrorist, Wulf. Might I add that all these instances were quite massive fails on his part, what an image for the oh-so-mighty lawyer. What an image of helping the poor civilians of Regalia against the big bad and corrupt Constables. Yes, let's just give criminals armour and weapons to walk about on the street. Sure let's legalise a terrorist which has well over a dozen reports on them. What mighty decision making, you absolute TWAT. Grow a damned brain and stop interfering where you're clearly not capable, you are a shameful, disgraceful, foul, unneeded, irritating, unruly, disgusting piece of garbage. Get a proper job and stop scamming the innocent civilians of Regalia.

Now, I won't write about my absolute disdain for the man by the name of Wulf, because I will be here with a thesaurus trying to find every word I can to insult him, but let me write of my prior experience with the man. Let's start by when I first arrested him, which for those that didn't see my other post, was when he gave a racial onslaught towards a poor Isldar girl and later pulled a weapon on them, to which he later wrote an absolutely shit apology. Good job, you made yourself look more like a fool. Say it in person next time, not on a notice board to look for sympathy, you pathetic excuse of a man. After I arrested this detestable man, he then went on to spread countless rumours about me, both on this notice board and throughout Crookback. It saddens me to think I'm somehow older than this manchild, but alas that's not all. He then decides it was a great idea to join the Bralona to fight against this state and torture me, but to his dismay, I crystallised before he could do the sick acts he wanted to do. And that's not all. Now, he's crossed the line, attacking a noblewoman... You utter filth. How dare you, how utterly dare you to lay hands upon a woman again, this time succeeding and being one of noble blood.

Now that I've cleared that out, let me finish this off by stating these words. For disgracing this poor lady's name I challenge you to a duel, Clovis. How dare you disgrace a Lady's name with your filthy mouth? If you dare think of declining this duel, it'll only show how much of an idiotic, rumour-spreading, bitch that you are.

- Calibur Ashford
Officer of the State Metropolitan

Spoiler: Tags

@KitchenRefugee @Wilvahelm @rimacutem

 

[bwmwags3]

A Isldar reads over the notice for a moment she almost said something. Though she took a look around and decided better of it, just heading on.

 

[Sparrower]

The ratty Ailor dragged to a stop at the sight of the Fin'ullen's handwriting, snagging the page from the board with an ever-growing grin, scanning through the text.

"...He really went and did it. I didn't think people could be so stupid. Lawyers, in Regalia, honestly."

Carefully enough, she inked a line under 'shameful, disgraceful, foul, unneeded, irritating, unruly, disgusting piece of garbage.', and replaced the page, brushing it off and moving on.

 

[Harrow]

Senira reads over the notice shortly after it's put up.

"Finally someone is calling out these two fools for who and what they really are. Traitors."

She was slightly irate but somewhat content that people felt the same way.

 

[KitchenRefugee]

The Lady mentioned in the notice, Allynna, came across the paper, already in a sour mood before reading it over. Upon reading what the Fin'ullen had written, the Silven's brows rose in surprise.

"Right. He was always hot-headed. At least it's for a good cause."

With a sigh, she stopped to think, before continuing with her walk.

 

[Clone_Fives]

An Archon stopped by the notice and read over it. Her brows furrowing and a frown coming to her face as she released a sigh
"I will have to keep and eye for either of them. They seem rather likely to cause trouble" She'd say then shaking her head

 

[RainAxe]

The Sollerian Teledden would be residing within the arena, seemingly having his momentary 'Arena Naps' as one called it. A head lowered lightly with eyes closed to relax after a day of duels and spars galore. Only to then, be interrupted by a flying declaration to slam atop the visor of himself. Recovering to pick the paper up in his wake, Avael would see the writer's name imprinted on the declaration as interest grew. Humming to himself, he'd read on, a brow raising beneath the armor as the silven continued to gaze down the inked words of wrath. Giving a hum, and soon speaking out in a small reply to the paper

"Smite them with the blinding light of justice, my friend. Let them feel their mistakes of infidelity."​

 

[soggytoenails]

@DuchBargollo @Wilvahelm

"I, KAILANG, soldier of Carraq will fight in Clovis' place. Decline this fight to the death and it is you, who will crawl under the Flesh Centaur's hooves, pleading for mercy that won't come."

 

[cosmoons]

An old man looks over the missive, frowning as he read,
"Officer of the Metropolitan my ass. Clearly he's fucking blind. Can't see two decent men if they slapped him in the face, eh?"
He leaned to the taller man whom he accompanied,
"What do you think of this?"
@Lenkalooky

 

[Faith_Bug]

Briareth looked over the notice, hardly getting through it before giving a dramatic SIGH, "WHY do these have to be so long?! Please, Gods- they need to always put a shortened version of things like these. I can't, I just /can't/ be bothered," Even with their complaints, they tried reading, though, again, didn't get through it, "... Gonna need someone to shorten this drama for me. Allynna THIS Allynna THAT, Wulf THIS Wulf THAT, Clovis THIS, that's all I'm getting, eugh.."

 

[DuchBargollo]

@DuchBargollo @Wilvahelm

"I, KAILANG, soldier of Carraq will fight in Clovis' place. Decline this fight to the death and it is you, who will crawl under the Flesh Centaur's hooves, pleading for mercy that won't come."

Click to shrink...

Kailang, the one I stripped of their weapons and armour. Recognise the part I put of you in my post? But I will decline this fight, as I won't ever fight to the death with anyone, to kill is downright savage, idiotic and overall illegal even in the boroughs, besides I'm a constable I'd never kill anyone unless it was a planned execution, so instead of trying to help the man that failed to help you with your 'weapon permit' I suggest you lay low and keep your mouth shut, this isn't between me or you at the moment. I will fight the man that dares disgrace a very respectable noblewoman and only that man.

 

[Fruit_Lups]

The Maquixtl Yanar leaned over to point out a few words on the parchment, making a small laugh out of it.
"Wulf isn't that aggressive-- Even so, you are correct, the Metro is blinded by his own bias. Most of them are, so it doesn't surprise me seeing this many words about how one did this and that."
The grin on his face grew, shaking his head as he spoke to the older man.

 

[rimacutem]

Swift response was found underneath the declaration

I am Wulf Eikinskjaldi Grofsmid of Ruinkhuur, Blackmark commander who declared Clovis underneath my protection
For you to challenge man not skilled in combat to fight is only way for you to enjoy easy victory.
I offer myself as a champion in his stead. No armour, no Metropolitan engineering

 

[Daniel2stay]

Jakov Boskovic sat on a stool in front of the Bar De Nor counter. The old man was guzzling down a hearty glass of vodka when one of his nephews slipped the notice in front of him. His eyes sloped down as he read out loud.

"To those unsure of.. eh... Clovis-CLOVIS...? Mnghh, ...disdain for man by name of Wu-WULF? ...Challenge you to a du-Due- Heh..hahaHAHAHAHA!" After a good laugh, Jakov decided that was enough reading for the day, and went back to drinking.

 

[soggytoenails]

Kailang squinted at the notice and re-read the message carefully. He reads it once, twice, a third time. He looks for his name in the initial notice several times, staring for at least ten minutes till he realized (with the power of wisdom=0) that he had merely been referenced. He yells at the commoners nearby to hand him a pen, threatening violence and death upon them until he retrieved one, and writes out a reply.

"THEN NO CHOICE WILL BE GIVEN TO THE GUY THAT TOOK MY WEAPONS. I will hunt you on the streets. I will find you in your home. I will bully your friends till you're forced to fight me. I will CLAIM your life and offer it to Carraq, even if I have to die for it. I will be there on the day you duel Clovis and then you'll be forced to fight me!"

Kailang throws the pen to the commonman and was likely dogpiled and beaten in the Crookback streets afterward.

 

[soggytoenails]

Swift response was found underneath the declaration

I am Wulf Eikinskjaldi Grofsmid of Ruinkhuur, Blackmark commander who declared Clovis underneath my protection
For you to challenge man not skilled in combat to fight is only way for you to enjoy easy victory.
I offer myself as a champion in his stead. No armour, no Metropolitan engineering

Click to shrink...

Kailang purposefully turned toward the man by the board and talked to him. "Eh? Why would you do that? You have to fight with all your strength, armor, and weapons. You've got to break his spine in. You do it with everything you've got. Forget honor. That stuff's for losers and soldiers like us are victors in the Game of Blood."

 

[Yigit]

Statement from the Lord Commissioner of the Regalian Empire

None involved in this debacle should drag the name of the State Metropolitan into what is clearly a personal dispute. The State Metropolitan does not have a political agenda and nor does it entertain vendettas of the public denizens; it exists solely to enforce the word of law to its subjects.

Wulf Grofsmid will be adequately punished for the assault of an aristocrat upon his arrest, and the word of Mister Clovis will not be weighed in the matter, for the State Metropolitan does not recognize Clovis as a reliable lawman.

Lastly, all parties should ensure that they have the clearing from the Honor Minister, Maiyusa Ren, before engaging in any form of duels, as she is the only source from which a duel may earn the recognition of the State and amnesty from the guard ... or duke it out in the borough for all I care.
​

Count Rodrigo Peirgarten of Lorhauser
Lord Commissioner of the State Metropolitan​

 

[Naz_Cook]

Miro gazed at the copy of the notice he had found pinned up to some non-descript wall. He began scanning the lines of the notice before letting out a snort.
"Mio amico... Did you really expect a dwarf out of all people to give anything more than a half assed apology to an Isldar?" he mumbled before rolling himself away, down the cobbled street to go mind his own business.

 

[Wilvahelm]

​

Dear Mister Ashford,

Thank you for approaching my office with your concerns.

As we suspect you already know - I do not participate in blood sports such as duels, beatings or head-bashings.

We appreciate you giving us the opportunity to set the record straight on Lady Allynna Mectal. The Lady Mecatl is a co-conspirator with a Cahal and was caught red-handed (by many witnesses) colluding with them and facilitating their escape during battle. I would like clarification from Lady Mecatl as to why she believes what she did was okay.

Since Kailang and Wulf Grofsmid have already nominated themselves, I am okay with either of them taking my place.

You bring great shame to the Metropolitan, many of whose Officers I share fond relationships with. Therefore I will assume this is a rogue action of your own and not representative of the broader organisation.

That's why for the next two weeks I will be providing half-price legal services for all that use the codeword: 'Calibur Ashford'.

Clovis Raspall.
Legal Advocate.
Clovis Credible Counsel.
Got caught? Get Clovis!

​

 

[Sparrower]

​

Dear Mister Ashford,

Thank you for approaching my office with your concerns.

As we suspect you already know - I do not participate in blood sports such as duels, beatings or head-bashings.

We appreciate you giving us the opportunity to set the record straight on Lady Allynna Mectal. The Lady Mecatl is a co-conspirator with a Cahal and was caught red-handed (by many witnesses) colluding with them and facilitating their escape during battle. I would like clarification from Lady Mecatl as to why she believes what she did was okay.

Since Kailang and Wulf Grofsmid have already nominated themselves, I am okay with either of them taking my place.

You bring great shame to the Metropolitan, many of whose Officers I share fond relationships with. Therefore I will assume this is a rogue action of your own and not representative of the broader organisation.

That's why for the next two weeks I will be providing half-price legal services for all that use the codeword: 'Calibur Ashford'.

Clovis Raspall.
Legal Advocate.
Clovis Credible Counsel.
Got caught? Get Clovis!

​

Click to shrink...

A slip of parchment found itself crudely nailed into the bottom of the notice, a quote scrawled in dripping ink.

"Hello again, Mister Clovis. The report against you was apparently worthwhile! As you can see; "The word of Mister Clovis will not be weighed in the matter, for the State Metropolitan does not recognize Clovis as a reliable lawman." Get better material, and lose 'Credible' in your job title. For courtesy's sake. Wouldn't want to lie about that too, would we?"

Signed, 'M. Grey.'

 

[FutureTeller]

Kailang writes out a reply.
"THEN NO CHOICE WILL BE GIVEN TO THE GUY THAT TOOK MY WEAPONS. I will hunt you on the streets. I will find you in your home. I will bully your friends till you're forced to fight me. I will CLAIM your life and offer it to Carraq, even if I have to die for it. I will be there on the day you duel Clovis and then you'll be forced to fight me!"

Click to shrink...

A short Maraya crudely writes a response;

 

[DuchBargollo]

Calibur would be looking through the responses of the notice he pinned up before placing one final missive and walking off.

This will be my final response to this notice that I place up, if you want to speak further you can find me in person, preferably out of uniform as like the Lord Commissioner said this isn't to do with the State Metropolitan and I never intended it to be, I was just writing my experience as a constable, so this is very much a personal matter. I thank the Lord Commissioner for making that clear.

Firstly, let me address Wulf, let's begin with the part of how you're currently wanted for assault against a noble, so if you were to try and step in Clovis' place, you'd be arrested on sight. Secondly, this is a duel issued, because of Clovis' blasphemy against the Lady Allynna Mecatl, nothing to do with your damned 'protection' or our personal beef, i mentioned you in the post because you were only slightly relevant, the most amount of relevance you'll ever have in your pathetic life, Blackwart commander.

Next I'll address Kailang the one now sending death threats, because I took their weapons and armour away, way to go prove my point on why you shouldn't be allowed even a spoon in your hand, because you're a detestable, violent psychopath, you dare attack me on the streets of Regalia you'll have yourself thrown in our cells /once again/, learn to control your self, it's as if your a damned teenager throwing tantrums in the streets, because you're unable to control your emotions.

Finally Clovis, to reject my duel request, even having your little henchmen try and take your place is beyond cowardly, I don't care if you're not proficient in combat, nor was Lord Aldane and yet they still accepted a duel request from a knight of all people, I may not agree with Lord Aldane's actions much, but he saved his honour by accepting the duel, you on the other hand show my point of having absolutely nothing respectable about yourself, you even go on to state that the other officers of the Metro respect you?
What utter rubbish are you spewing now, for those that know how much of a pain in the ass you are, zero respect is given to you, in fact Senira that responded earlier to my notice is a constable and they agree that you're a dim witted idiot scamming the people of Regalia with your idiotic statements, you even told me at one point to 'just let it slide', absolutely disgusting, you had no way to defend your client, so you just wanted me to 'forget about it' just this one time? Go take a good look in the mirror and think to yourself if what you're trying to achieve is morally right.

I give you one last chance, you either give me a clear answer of yes or no, if you continue to try and argue how you're always right and how everyone likes you like a chicken without a head then stay an oblivious chicken and stop spewing your unruly words about a very lovely and caring lady and take down those posters.

I pray no poor Regalian hires you ever again for their own sake.

If anyone disagrees with what I've said today in this post find me in person, it's silly to be posting these missives on and on, so just say it to my face.

-Calibur Ashford

@Wilvahelm @rimacutem @soggytoenails

 

[HeyoBiggums]

Tarlok inspected all the notices with an amused expression, shaking his head in utter disbelief. He would then tear off one of the numerous Goldheart Regiment posters, flipping it over to write in big bold letters.

"MY HUNT HAS BEGUN. THE THEATRICS WILL END. ~T"

@rimacutem @Wilvahelm @DuchBargollo @GRIST_ @Mystiluu

 

[FeatheredBlade]

"Finally Clovis, to reject my duel request, even having your little henchmen try and take your place is beyond cowardly, I don't care if you're not proficient in combat, nor was Lord Aldane and yet they still accepted a duel request from a knight of all people, I may not agree with Lord Aldane's actions much, but he saved his honour by accepting the duel"

Click to shrink...

The Silven dragged a hand through his scruffy hair, picking through the noticeboards for something, anything of interest. Finding the comically long trail of papers stapled and cobbled together, left by many comers before him, he huffed a sound of amusement from his throat and embarked upon the journey of reading through the public bickering. Only when he came towards the end of the paper trail did a laugh escape him, and he nudged his companion; pointing to a specific line; still snickering.

"Told you."

@Daniel2stay

 

[rimacutem]

Tarlok inspected all the notices with an amused expression, shaking his head in utter disbelief. He would then tear off one of the numerous Goldheart Regiment posters, flipping it over to write in big bold letters.

"MY HUNT HAS BEGUN. THE THEATRICS WILL END. ~T"

@rimacutem @Wilvahelm @DuchBargollo @GRIST_ @Mystiluu

Click to shrink...

Dwarf blankly stared at the message, before erupting into laughter, He then wrote swift response on torn away poster of his regiment
Come on Tarlok. I know that you feel constant need to assert yourself as manliest one around, but come on. You will not capture me. Even if you managed to defeat me in one on one combat, I have regiment to call upon. So my advice is this. Let people worthy of my time do the job, because you are not one of them.
Though if you choose to be fool, this time I won't take your arm. I will take your horns and use them as decoration in my pub

 

[Saaber]

Valenia looked over the absurdly long chain of letters attached to the notice board, blinking several times as she read over each one. Her brows furrowed together by the time she finished browsing them all, letting out an exasperated sigh before she wandered off down the street. "...This is getting ridiculous. Do people even hold conversations face-to-face anymore?"

 

[MyCatBubbles]

Mathias read over the declaration, and the battle of pens tacked beneath with a slightly disgusted look across his face,

"Goin' after a lawyer for readin' the law is the lowest of low. Next they're gonna go after a blacksmith for hammerin' metal. I'm sure a duel will completely solve this shitshow an' surely won't just inflate the twos already bloated egos. Someone oughta burn this board down.. what a joke.."

 

[Sujitation]

Sibyllad felt obligated to read over her buddy's post. Only to cringe at the fact it was essentially a whole page of ramblings, not to mention the responses. So, of course, she read through all of the drama like it was an intense novel. Allowing a rumble of a chuckle to escape her chest. "Can't believe this. I mean, Clovis sided with a leech who helped the city get invaded twice just for a couple of regals, and not to mention two lackies who assault people purely for-.. actually no reason. Man, this job gets rough."

 

[JinxNotJinxed]

A certain bat-eared Kathar paused in her nighttime trash can rummaging, her hands full of discarded necklace chains and half broken china. Kinteh turned to the noticeboard upon catching sight of the absolutely massive trail of letters pinned to the side. She used one little claw to read along, before her only remaining ear stood straight up.
"Ho-Lee-Shit." She uttered "These people make me wish I couldn't read common. Hey- Get a load'a this." The creature said, elbowing the taller cultist at her side. "Wulf an' that lawman are makin' trouble for the city-folk."

@Ebrima

 

[Kingdom56]

Stopped in his stride to take notice of all the different postings on the noticeboard. He pointed to one, then another and another and another. "..So this one is respondin' to this one. And then that one, references that one.. And.. And then that one.." The engines in the Kathar's brain were roaring as he tried to put this collage of spiteful hate mail together. "I... Hm. Whatever 'appened to an old fashioned "SCREW YOU!" in the street? Just punch the guy in the mouth the next time you see 'im. I mean right? You'll save ink that way, and 'and cramps." He said Kinteh's way, ultimately, he gave up trying to put the puzzle pieces of all the messages together and carried on.

@JinxNotJinxed