Basic Information Full Name: William Alexander Will (Friend Nickname) Age: 40 Gender: Male Race: Colonial Alior Sexulality: Heterosexuality Proficiency Points (40=40) +15 Blades Combat Skill (+15 From Points) +15 Athletic Training (+15 From Points) +10 Statesman Knowledge (+10 From Points) +10 Religious Knowledge (From Race Bonus) Spoiler: Vampire Traits (Cured) Vargul Form Vampiric Shrek Claw Lust Blood Rush Greater Healing Body Shape: Body Stat: 15 Combat Skill + 30 Athletic Training (15x2) = 45 Stat Body Fat: Built Body Fat Body Build: Strongman Languages: Common (10/10) [Free] Alt-Anglian (10/10) [Taught by his father] Anglian (10/10) [Learned at the School of Bloodcast] Visuals: Eye Color: Blue Hair Color: Brown Hairstyle: Wavy Skin Color: White Clothing: Black robes with red & white lining Height: 6 feet 3 inches Perception William is seen as a large and dumb rock at first, but after a while he turns out to be a really nice guy who is quite intelligent for how he looks. William is a very kind man who is ready lend a hand or Regals to the poor and sick, which makes him look like a good man. Strangers wouldn’t have a clue of who “William Alexander” is, since he isn’t a famous person of any type and isn't planning to. He truly follows the code of the Bloodcast, helping when able. His brute strength charges forth towards his enemies, but his personality charges towards his friends. His kindness acts upon the innocent, doing his very best to help them in their times of great need. Giving food and shelter whenever possible. Feelings William feels that he should take all of his time and energy to help people in need. He feels more relaxed to be by himself, but beings to feel nervous around other people. He’ll mostly walk away from people, but he will feel nervous even more when he’s around women since he was only ever really around men when he was young. William sees himself as a normal man with plenty of wealth to help the people in need, but will use it to help himself here and there for food and other things for his personal life. Which doesn't happen a lot since he's normally out and about, so he doesn't really wear anything down to replace besides food. Friends and Family William doesn’t have any friends and his parents are still in his home colony, Dawnton. He hopes to make friends within the city of Regalia, but he can’t be sure of who to trust. William acts happy and grateful for everything that was given to him by the Spirit, but can act a bit silly to make people happy with a smile on their face. When William first meets strangers, he’ll have a smile on his face to show that he’s a friendly guy and that he isn’t a threat. William can act serious when he needs to, but he mostly just smiles and looks friendly to everyone around him. He loves to smile because it helps give them something to smile about, to be happy and to have hope that it'll be a nice day. Morality William is a good and strong hearted man by helping the poor and weak when he has the time and body to do so. William helps the weak and sick where ever they are. It slowly manifests within himself to make him proud of helping people as much as he can throughout his life. William is a very just man and will show himself through his actions and words. William watches other’s actions and words to see if they are corrupt or just, but will give them many chances to change. Over time if he someone be killed, he will take a stand against them and do whatever it takes to stop them. Life Story 0-6 Years Old William was born to Hunter & Emily Alexander in the city of Dawnton on November 8th, 271 AC. Hunter worked as a Blacksmith within the city, having good craftsmanship and prices and Emily worked as a stay-at-home mom, who knew how to play music with her voice and different instruments. 7-13 Years Old At age 7, William started to help out at home and at the Blacksmith Shop that his father owns, “The Silver Rush”. Over time, William decided to use what he helped earn at the Silver Rush to give to the sick and poor and that’s when he started his true nature. William also wanted to be a fighter, so he decided to work on his body as much as he could ever day until he turn to the age of 14. 14-20 Years Old When William turn 14, he decided to leave and train with the School of Bloodcast. After he turn 19 years old, he continued to study under the tutor to keep his strength and skill up to where he could protect the people closest to him. He pushed himself to his limits just so he could climb the ladder of training with not just his body, but mind as well so he could think more clearly during a fight and for just normal thinking. 21-27 Years Old William was almost finished with the training, only 3 more years until he was able to return home. He was 24 years of age and he had finally finished his training, ready to go home and see his mother and father. When he got home, he found out that his mother passed due to an illness that killed her in her sleep. His father was heartbroken, but turned happy when he saw his son who stayed until he turned 27 years old. 28-Now Years Old William decided to head out to see the world, to meet new people, and make new friends. He slowly traveled around to see the world, in hopes of stopping at a city to call home. Over the years, he’s stopped at places he thought that he’d call home but it didn’t happen so he left in due time. Now, he’s arrived back at the city of Regalia in hopes of starting fresh for friends and maybe some love if he’s lucky. After a month of arriving within the city, he join the guard charter that was known as The Blackguard until he finally left after seen their evil ways. A week or two later, he joined House Kehlen within it's court of Knights as well as joining their House Guard as the only member within it. Within a few weeks later after joining the House Guard, Lord Wulfram Kehlen, Alain Kehlen, and many other Kehlens died after many horrible events that sent down into the end of House Kehlen. He wondered around the city to find himself a new job where he continue to make a living. He iwasserving House von Rahm as one of their House Guard and also with the Violet Order as a new Ram Guard. He decided to leave both after some time, wanting to enjoy his own life with his new court. After inviting over a Varlord for dinner, he and his court were infected with the Sanguine Curse. After spending quite some time as a Sanguine, he learned that his love was dead. He was devastated, but continued to hunt in her honor. After a fight with a Viridian and couple Violets, he was captured and cured with no problem. He now spends his days, not sure what to do.
Lil Peer review! You should remove all of the (Required) In your titles I suggest expanding his training within the blood cast order and how it affected him as a person. I find it odd that it is worded as if it is his first time ever being in Realia when he spent 10 years within the bloodcast castle which is positioned within Regalia
Hellooo, something the other peer review neglected to mention, that isn’t that big of an issue is that Unionist Seminary, like any arcane-religious proficiencies, should go into proficiency points and not cultural points. @TheGeekyNerd1
Please be patient. There are many apps under review, needing re-review, and waiting for review. Lore staff have lots on their plates with general lore upkeep, apps, and their real lives. Also, you should only bump your app after a few days/ once it reaches the third page. Not after one day.
I have plenty of time on my hands, so I work on my character sheet right away for something to do other than Roleplay on Massive all the time.
The only edits I am going to suggest are: Condense your life story and perhaps focus more on what the character has done rather than just funneling in repeated information. All of your personality paragraphs need at least a sentence or two more. Remember to detail purely what the characters personality is and put a good amount of emphasis on detail. When you're finished please tag me!
@Percuriam Updated character app to new template, just changed his story around a bit to fit the new points. I feel SO sorry for you due to the amount of character apps you're going to have to relook at.
Hello mister DarksiderWar! I have claimed this application for aspirant review. Expect news back from me shortly!
My review: Personality and Abilities I think the major issue I have here is with the first paragraph. It's only three sentences long, and I feel like I don't get enough about how he's seen save for "he is kind" and "he is helpful". Please expand on this! Does he look intimidating? Do people see that he's a kindred soul at first, or are they put-off by his strongman stature? Go into a bit more detail, with two sentences (or more if you so please!). Optional Fixes There are a few spelling issues here that aren't major, as well as a few grammar errors that could use cleaning up. Consider passing it through Grammarly, or something similar! Great work otherwise. Please make these changes in one of the following spooky colors: orange, red, or brown. Tag me when the changes are completed!
That it was! As it is a re-review, one would assume it had been reviewed before. But as I am a new reviewer, and Percuriam has delegated this application to me, I'm asking new things of you. I understand your reservations, as I'm an aspirant, but I also do send my reviews to a Lore 3 member before I post them. That being the case, I'm well within my duties to correct as I see fit. I don't think two more sentences would break your back. Please edit accordingly.
You've met the five sentences, but I still don't get much of a handle on how others see him. You've reiterated in the fourth that he's a kind man by following the code of Bloodcast, but again, I don't grasp much outside from him being helpful and nice. Add some complexity, as I've asked in the first request. Tag me when the edits have been completed!
@apath William has been cured from his curse and I have updated his points a bit now since the School of Knights page has been updated a bit.
@apath Yeah I don't think I'm going to keep this character about anymore, not sure what to do with him so I'm shelving him. Please put the Rejection Tag up for me. Have a good day!
