<welcome To The Bazaarmory!!>

slurmancer

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(this was mostly just an excuse for me to make gun gifs.)

The Bazaarmory™

aka
Sergeant CC's Second-Hand Second Army Surplus

The Belliard Guilds pride themselves on being the premiere manufacturer of firearms in the Empire. Every weapon is proofed for quality, distributed only to the highest bidder, and sold sparingly. Every gun to come from their forges is guaranteed to be the best of the best. To have a Belliard is to tell the world that you are a person of class, wealth, and honor.

The Bazaarmory is not that. Half its manufactured guns are veritable duds, more useful as clubs than as firearms. Its materials are sourced only from the grimiest of trash heaps, and are sold to those of similar moral character. To own a Bazaarmory 'gun' is to gamble on your life with rather long odds. You'd be a fool to carry its arms as anything but an impractical joke.

But! It sure does make a lot of them. And as cheap as they are, the risk of losing a couple of fingers as a best case scenario might just be worth it to the enterprising rake and wastrel. Buy or steal enough of them, and you could almost form your own gallivanting gang of gunmen. Minus a couple of extremities, of course.

Who says quantity isn't its own quality?

<PERUSE OUR LEGITIMATE WARES!!>

<HARDWARE HOUSE RULES!!>


Misfire!
/roll 20 every time you take a shot. Above 5, you hit. If it's a 1, it's your unlucky day! Your gun blows up.

The Eureka
"Fan 'favorite' of base-raiders and guerillas everywhere. Not that they have much of a choice."
Uy2Aggf.gif

The Boomstick
"Shop smart!"
hY9AVIY.gif
The Pipedream
"It's called that because there ain't a damn way you're hitting anything that far."

UG89SQq.gif

The Armbreaker
"Now with only a 60% chance to blow your hand off!"
AbW7wUt.gif

Genuine Belliard Anti-Arcane Arquebus
"Wait, you actually thought we had this? AHAHAHA!!"
[IMAGE NOT FOUND]

..and more! Ask for 'Alloe's Accessories' for additional niche Second Army Hardware!
-
<PERUSE OUR LEGITIMATE SERVICES!!>

Regalnotes Ɍ
"Why carry coins, when you can carry cards?"
[IMAGE NOT FOUND]

Regalnotes (symbol: Ɍ or Rn), or more colloquially known as 'notes, are a new and experimental form of paper-based currency! Rated at exactly 1:1 to the ubiquitous if exceedingly heavy regal, Regalnotes are guaranteed by the ever watchful security of the Bazaarmory against fraud. Accepted at all Bazaarmory and partnered locations! See below to see the list of Regalnote compliant businesses. Convert your cold hard coin into light and easily securable paper today!

Platinum Personnel Protection Package
"Don't forget your PPPP!"
[IMAGE NOT FOUND]

Stuck on the wrong side of the City with no safety measures? Wish you had a little more firepower in these trying times? Look no further! With the use of a Platinum Personnel Protection Package, loyal employees of the Bazaarmory are contractually obligated to assist you in combat when requested! Simply flash this signed card out and watch as your enemies wither beneath their cheery assistance, no questions asked! Just remember that each instance of service will require the repurchase of a PPP card.

Finance yours today!

Note: In the event that two opposing combatants possess PPP cards, the first one to reveal their possession of said item will be the one to receive assistance. Be sure to be quick on the draw!

BTFO Package
"Tell your enemies to [REDACTED] [REDACTED] up their [REDACTED] [REDACTED]!!"
[IMAGE NOT FOUND]

Legally, this is a joke!

Not so legally: Demolition! Arson! Blockades! Extortion! The Bazaarmory does it and more! We'll do the crime and do the time, all for an affordable and easily attainable price for any individual looking to make their mark on the world beyond the walls of Regalia! Price is variable, but their services are guaranteed to find success! Just know that if they aren't hired to service, then they'll certainly find a reason to 'service' someone by their own volition!

<EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES!!>

Talk to CC. Or Runnam!

Reasonable tasks may/will include:

Supply Runs!
Taking stuff that isn't ours!
Firing Tests!
Shooting targets that are people! They probably deserve it.
Controlled Demolitions!
They aren't actually controlled, but they sure are demolitions!

And more! Contact today!!
 
Last edited:
Changelog 23.8.310

>Company name changed to the Bazaarmory! Thank you @DolittleGuy for your unwavering brand loyalty (and name idea)!
>Unveiled new company service, the Platinum Personnel Protection card! Contract the fighting services of the Bazaarmory with the simple flash of convenience-made-paper!