The Viridian Times
~ Issue 2 ~
-oOo-
Interview With Captain Gandamar Galahad: Hello and thank you for agreeing to this interview Mister Gandamar. Many people have questions about your ways so lets start off with this question. Where does your name come from?
Gandamar: That's Captain Gandamar to ye! And I dun' bloody know, I'm a bastard child.
Ghisco the Parrot: SQUAWK! Bastard Child!
Galahad: Your parrot talks! Wow. How long did it take for you to teach him that trick?
Gandmar: Teach 'im! Why I bloody hate that damned bird. If he wasn't me lucky charm, I woulda wringed his neck long ago!
Ghisco the Parrot: Wring the neck! Wring the neck!
Galahad: Very well then. What is your favorite leisure activity Captain?
Gandamar: Hehe… I'd have to say women. For some reason they all love the Cap'n!
Galahad: Why do you think they have such a strong affinity for… a man like yourself?
Ghisco the Parrot: A man like YE SELF!
Gandamar: Shuddup ye stupid parrot! I am done for this damned interview! The women and my men are loyal to me because I am the damned best Cap'n to ever sail the seas of Aloria with tah strongest navy and loyalest men! There shan't be any questioning of this by anyone with 2 silver pieces between their ears!!
Ghisco the Parrot: A'rgh fiddle dee dee!
Gandamar: A Pirate's Life for meee!
And with that Gandamar strolled off to the Harbor, Ghisco the parrot in his wake.
-oOo-
The Regalia Report:
New Housing District!
A new housing district has opened up in Regalia as more and more citizens flood into the ever growing city of Regalia. Many are excited for the new buildings which offer quicker access to many of the hot spots of Regalia. However, many remain wary of adding new districts to Regalia as they fear that it will only lead to overpopulation and more unrest due to the large number of non-human races flooding the streets.
Nevertheless, today is a beautiful day in my opinion as many Regalian families are now able to purchase homes in ideal locations for much less.
The Vespids of Regalia!
As the diversity of the people in Regalia has increased so has the diversity of… the strange races. By strange I mean no insult but the vespids of Regalia in particular are especially out of the ordinary. Many citizens are rather interested with these insect-like creatures and wish to know more of where they came from and how they came to be in Regalia. However many, myself included, find these BUGS to be repulsive and disgusting. Regalia is a beautiful built BY humans and for humans. While I won't be ranting here about elves, dwarves and other such "humanoid" races, the vespids are not human in the least! The don't fight with swords but rather their stingers! Some don't even walk but rather fly with their silly little wings. These creatures are disgusting entirely and while I don't demand their wholesale killing, they do not belong to be walking along the streets of Regalia with humans and such!
I know not how long these vespids plan to live in Regalia or if they will build a hive elsewhere but lets us hope they won't be here for long!
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The World Report:The Citadel of Alamut Laid to Siege!
The Viridian Crusade has at last taken the fight to the Alamutians! In a struggle of epic proportions, the Viridians were able to scale the mountain and grapple over the Citadel walls. Many men on both side died to the sword as well as to the heights of the mountain. Ikorolch, one of the Sovereigns of Valyria, was able to take down several Viridians down after going in a berserking rage.
Many fine Viridians were lost that day but in the end, this occasion is one of the most important steps for the Crusade. Never before has the Citadel of Alamut been successfully attacked nor conquered but only time will tell if Alamut shall fall.
Hermit of Avgard Spotted!
In a rare occurrence, a passing traveler on Avgard Island recently saw the recluse, new owner of the massive expanse of land. Despite prior rumors, the owner was in quite good health and appeared to be well mannered and well dressed. The "hermit" even agreed to talk to a reporter from the Viridian Times off the record. He told of the massive amounts of money that he had been saving his whole life to buy Avgard Island after having seen it at its height as a child. With due time and large amounts of silver and gold, the owner of Avgard says he plans to return Avgard to true glory and eventually open it up to travelers, sightseers, and settlers for the island is truly beautiful.
Declaration of War on the 9th Legion!
After the 9th Legion attacked Consortium, a member of the Viridian Crusade, it has come to the attention of the Crusade Leaders that the Legion has stepped too far. Captain Gandamar made the wise point that "They stole me booty and all my damned treasure!". After taking several minutes to calm down the enraged captain, the council of Crusade leaders knew what must be done. Like Alamut, Osai and Algaron, 9th Legion must be put into place. The Legion has long strayed from their set out beliefs and many believe their actions to consistently be rude and childish.
Although none before have truly conquered the Legion, it too will fall to the combined might of the Crusade. This is a promise.
Fires Ravage the Countryside of Avignon!
After weeks upon weeks of hot weather will very little rain, the plains of Avignon have caught a blaze and have spread rapidly. The current Lord of Avignon is reported to be holed up within his mountain citadel while his people struggle to deal with the fire. Many homes and farms have already been lost which worries many who have lived their entire lives upon such farms.
As the fires spread towards the City of Galea, all await anxiously to see what will happen. We will keep you updated in the next issue as these events continue to unfold.
Maiar Attack Upon Ghiscari Island!
After months of the Ghiscari Pirates hunting Maiars, the maiars have struck back! There were dead bodies and wreckage everywhere as the maiars ripped men off docks and managed to even bring down several smaller vessels to a watery grave. The men of Ghiscari were not the only ones who died as several maiars were captured using various nets, reels and harpoons. I must admit though, that the scream of a dying maiar is something truly unwholesome and even the thought of it makes me cringe…
In the end, it would seem as if the maiars were unsuccessful as Captain Gandamar still had several of his ships which he plans to use to further hunt maiars with a renewed vigor.
-oOo-
Riddles:
What can you catch but not throw?
A cold
I have a heart that never beats, I have a home but I never sleep. I can take a mans house and build anothers, And I love to play games with my many brothers. I am a king among fools. Who am I?
King of Hearts in a deck of cards
Which saints in the Church do the most good?
The ones in the glass windows, because they keep out the wind which blows the candles out
Give me food, and I will live; give me water, and I will die. What am I?
Fire
I am valued by men, fetched from afar, Gleaned on the hill-slopes, gathered in groves,
In dale and on down. All day through the air, Wings bore me aloft, and brought me with cunning
Safe under roof. Men steeped me in vats. Now I have power to pummel and bind,
To cast to the earth, old man and young. Soon he shall find who reaches to seize me,
Pits force against force, that he's flat on the ground, Stripped of his strength if he cease not his folly,
Loud in his speech, but of power despoiled To manage his mind, his hands or his feet.
Now ask me my name, who can bind men on earth, And lay fools low in the light of day.
Honey-Mead
-oOo-
Crossword:
Answers:
1.)25Silver 2.)Avignon3.)5Silver 4.)BabaManga 5.)Viridian 6.)JulyFourth 7.)SanguineCurse 8.) Galahad 9.)Kade 9.)Kapry 10.)Alamut 11.)Reaver 12.)Ghisco 13.)Osai 14.)Warith 15.)Vispi 16.)ThomasKade
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The Poet Corner:
Of Dolor and Valor
I would say nothing of a man nor take account of him for any wit of the mind or dueling skill he might have.
Not if he had the size of an Orc and the strength to go with it, not if he could outrun the very wind itself
Not if he had the stealth of the Alamutians nor the fury and odium of those under Nyssa Heretic
Not if he were more skilled in the art of Seamanship than a Ghiscari Pirate nor the ferocity in battle as Captain Gandamar
Not if he were as skilled in Politics as those in the 9thLegion, not if he could design a city as well as Algaron
Not if he were more handsome and spoke with more charm than an Invictian or had more riches than Doom had, or Dam too,
Not if he were more of a king than Grailen Warith, or had the power of speech and persuasion Darkfeather had,
Not if he had all the traits of a true man without a fighting spirit. For no man ever proves himself a good man in war
Unless he can endure to face the blood and the death; to be able to go close against the enemy and fight with his hands alone.
Here courage stands, mankind's finest possession, here is the noblest prize that a young man can endeavor to win,
And it is a good thing his city and all the people share with him when a man plants his feet and stands in the foremost spears, a fearless vanguard.
All thought of running and flight completely forgotten, and well trained his heart is to be steadfast and to endure,
And with words he encourages the man who is stationed beside him. Here is a man
who proves himself to be valiant in war.
With a sudden rush he turns to flight the ragged battalions of the enemy, and sustains the beating waves of assault.
And he who falls among the champions and loses his sweet life, with his death blessing
with honor his city, his father, and all his people,
With wounds in his chest, where the spear that he was facing has torn through
that guard of his shield, gone through his chest-plate as well,
Such a man is lamented alike by the young and the elders, and all his city goes into mourning and grieves for his loss.
His tomb is pointed to with pride, and so are his children, and his children's children,
and afterward all the kin that are his.
His shining glory is never forgotten, his name is remembered, and he becomes an
immortal, though he lies under the ground,
When one who was a brave man has been killed by the furious, bloodthirsty War God
Having stood his ground and fought hard for his children and land.
But if he escapes the fate of death, the bane of being, and wins his battle,
and become renown for the work of his shield and sword,
All men give honor to him alike, both the youth and the elders, and much joy comes his
way before he goes down to the dead and return to the earth.
With age, he has reputation among his citizens. No one tries to interfere with his
honor or all that he deserves;
All men withdraw before his presence, and yield their way to him, the youth, and
the men his age, and even those older than he.
Thus a man should endeavor to reach this high place of courage with all his heart,
and so trying, never be fearful in war.
For Aloria will grow worse till men redeem it,
And wars more evil, till all wars cease.
-oOo-
The Funnies:Memes, Comics and More!
Fake Pirates
Panther v. Buffalo!
The Kade Brother Circus!
Grailen and Baby Muffin
Pretty Lady!
Grailen Likes Horses
Rooseus Handing Over the Keys
And God Said Unto Adam…
Got Dirt?
Master Artist's Take on the Viridians…
To Osai!
And Eve Said to Adam…
Editor in Chief: Galahad Destinado
Publisher: The Bard's Order of Avignon
