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Hello everyone, my name is Carl. and this is a topic I had never thought I'd be the one to cover. I've been described as a prude, but honestly it's not at all as serious as I make it out to be. Now you're probably wondering why I mention the word 'prude', and well that's because this topic is about the over sexualization of player characters.
This is going to be an adult discussion, so I wish to make that very clear from the get-go before you read any further. This discussion I'm holding isn't an official staff prerogative, its spawned of my own thoughts and volition to express the 'Unspoken Rule' and give insight and a platform for people to speak. I have personally witnessed and have experienced some varying degrees of sexual harassment on a level which exceeds roleplay normality.
This isn't a call out post or a rant, rather. me trying to express guidance to individuals which may not realize what they have done, or are currently doing. Hopefully people can take away from this a positive outlook.
Some starting tips & tricks to not come off as a weirdo to your fellow roleplayers
Now, I play a large crocodile - Cro-Allar. I have for just about the entire time I've been here. My friends love to joke about him being the 'Big Daddy Croc' plus other jokes about his 'size' and it's funny. I find it hilarious, and I love the humor sometimes. It's an unspoken understanding that has been made between my friends and I. We didn't plan it out, and I most certainly don't go around acting that way with my character - however for some people it isn't a joke. I've been pm'd by people I /do not/ have that understanding with which has been very off putting.
A social norm which not a lot of people can pick up on, or a queue rather - is that you don't joke sexually, casually, with someone you don't know. And you might ask yourself, "Oh, but I see them all the time in RP!" or "We're in the same guild/noble family." - just sharing something like that in common with them doesn't necessarily make it 'OK' or greenlight to sexually fantasize or openly joke about that player's character. It's just like that you wouldn't sexually joke around with a co-worker about their appearance. People should keep these sort of things in mind, treat other people you don't know on here like a coworker.
There is a thin line between these sort of jokes. It's very easy to cross.
When people I don't know sexualize my Cro, I find it odd sometimes. However not everyone is as accepting as I am, everyone has a different thickness to their skin and what they allow.
Commenting in OOC about an acquaintance's character's sexual appeal - their 'size' or 'owo I almost got the fucq' are "Unwelcome" conversations. When you push your agenda on someone else is another form of sexual exhibition.
As a staff member, when I review a player - or when I hear things about them I hold them accountable,
When I hear things like "X and Y had a conversation, then X changes subjects to comment about their character's 'package'" I cannot simply forget that about the person. When people pursue IC interactions with a person on Discord just to "bang" that is really off-putting. Your actions matter, it isn't so severe - but it leaves you wondering. And whether or not X & Y's conversation was said in private, or in public, you cannot be certain it will remain that way. Do not act this way with people you're not comfortable with, or know well enough to trust. You'll find yourself becoming the brunt of jokes and humor to a larger group of people if that's the case. Or even, barred from certain activities or further on, permissions too quite frankly.
There are minors in this space. Young people playing on Massive and that needs to be recognized. You should not conduct yourself like this with them, at all.
When you do something off, or have a sexual conduct case put on you it doesn't go away so easily. It isn't forgotten, and most certainly is very serious. Which is a problem of today's world, where we have truly despicable people being caught for their sexual misconduct in the past nowadays - but we also have innocent people, or naive people being accused or not even knowing well enough what they had done being punished. It happens. We need to be cognitively aware to not attack people or go after them and hunt down the behavior, but slowly work towards fixing issues.
Please, express maturity and understanding. I'm not saying to removal all types of sexual conversation from your life, or jokes, and such. Don't be extremely overcautious. Just think before you speak and think on who you're saying this to - where you're saying it. Thank you for reading, if you have comments I shall be following the thread.
This is going to be an adult discussion, so I wish to make that very clear from the get-go before you read any further. This discussion I'm holding isn't an official staff prerogative, its spawned of my own thoughts and volition to express the 'Unspoken Rule' and give insight and a platform for people to speak. I have personally witnessed and have experienced some varying degrees of sexual harassment on a level which exceeds roleplay normality.
This isn't a call out post or a rant, rather. me trying to express guidance to individuals which may not realize what they have done, or are currently doing. Hopefully people can take away from this a positive outlook.
Some starting tips & tricks to not come off as a weirdo to your fellow roleplayers
- Don't talk about sex with someone you just met in RP, OOCly. You have no idea how old they are and never will know for certain because sometimes people lie.
- Don't sexually joke about someone's character that isn't your friend or someone that shares a level of comfortableness for that with you. That's very creepy, its strange, and most importantly it ruins your personal image.
- Don't treat people as a 'body count' - especially online. Seriously. Just don't. It's just sad to look at. We're all roleplaying, at least make it narratively make sense, and not just a means to get your kink on with a person.
- Mutual interest should be established and made clear. No matter what. Anytime before engaging.
Now, I play a large crocodile - Cro-Allar. I have for just about the entire time I've been here. My friends love to joke about him being the 'Big Daddy Croc' plus other jokes about his 'size' and it's funny. I find it hilarious, and I love the humor sometimes. It's an unspoken understanding that has been made between my friends and I. We didn't plan it out, and I most certainly don't go around acting that way with my character - however for some people it isn't a joke. I've been pm'd by people I /do not/ have that understanding with which has been very off putting.
A social norm which not a lot of people can pick up on, or a queue rather - is that you don't joke sexually, casually, with someone you don't know. And you might ask yourself, "Oh, but I see them all the time in RP!" or "We're in the same guild/noble family." - just sharing something like that in common with them doesn't necessarily make it 'OK' or greenlight to sexually fantasize or openly joke about that player's character. It's just like that you wouldn't sexually joke around with a co-worker about their appearance. People should keep these sort of things in mind, treat other people you don't know on here like a coworker.
There is a thin line between these sort of jokes. It's very easy to cross.
When people I don't know sexualize my Cro, I find it odd sometimes. However not everyone is as accepting as I am, everyone has a different thickness to their skin and what they allow.
Commenting in OOC about an acquaintance's character's sexual appeal - their 'size' or 'owo I almost got the fucq' are "Unwelcome" conversations. When you push your agenda on someone else is another form of sexual exhibition.
As a staff member, when I review a player - or when I hear things about them I hold them accountable,
- I don't care about the size of your character's dick or whether or not they have a lot of libido (it seems a lot of people have to make that a big deal about their character in personal conversations these days).
- I don't care about the sexual orientation of your character if it isn't something pertinent to RP I'm having with you.
- I most certainly hold you accountable if you prey upon people, or have the character with a personality of cardboard only meant for sexual appeal and romantic encounters.
When I hear things like "X and Y had a conversation, then X changes subjects to comment about their character's 'package'" I cannot simply forget that about the person. When people pursue IC interactions with a person on Discord just to "bang" that is really off-putting. Your actions matter, it isn't so severe - but it leaves you wondering. And whether or not X & Y's conversation was said in private, or in public, you cannot be certain it will remain that way. Do not act this way with people you're not comfortable with, or know well enough to trust. You'll find yourself becoming the brunt of jokes and humor to a larger group of people if that's the case. Or even, barred from certain activities or further on, permissions too quite frankly.
There are minors in this space. Young people playing on Massive and that needs to be recognized. You should not conduct yourself like this with them, at all.
When you do something off, or have a sexual conduct case put on you it doesn't go away so easily. It isn't forgotten, and most certainly is very serious. Which is a problem of today's world, where we have truly despicable people being caught for their sexual misconduct in the past nowadays - but we also have innocent people, or naive people being accused or not even knowing well enough what they had done being punished. It happens. We need to be cognitively aware to not attack people or go after them and hunt down the behavior, but slowly work towards fixing issues.
Please, express maturity and understanding. I'm not saying to removal all types of sexual conversation from your life, or jokes, and such. Don't be extremely overcautious. Just think before you speak and think on who you're saying this to - where you're saying it. Thank you for reading, if you have comments I shall be following the thread.
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