The Amegan?

[Louby65]

I have an idea for a new Lore race, but I am not a particularly awesome writer.
My Idea is:

The Amegan are a race of chroniclers who are distinguished by silver tattoos round their left eyes. They are worshippers of the Void and have seven rituals:
DochMegan- At Birth, a small vial of blood is taken
Capbya- The first time an Amegan child picks up a pen.
Ingos- The first words
Selochi- A sacrifice performed every day.
Thereada- The holy song.
Torresci- Getting ready to leave the family
GogAnHiyle- Death.

They are hated in Aloria for these rituals and are persecuted on pain of death. They are all vegetarians.
They have pale skin, red eyes, and are very tall. They write in little booklets, and collect spoils of war.
They fight with two swords.

A little polishing? All I need is someone to give me constructive Criticism and a writer to help.
Thanks!

P.s below is an idea of a skin to use.

 

[Enkiduu]

Lore submissions should be posted in this section with the proper formatting. I'm pretty sure new races aren't being accepted. But if you want to even be considered, you'd have to flesh this out more. For starters, take a look at the template for lore submissions:

1. Core Idea: Write the core of your idea, what lore submission it is and what it concerns.
2. Core Category: Write about what category your idea belongs to. Religion? Race? State? Plant? Animal? etc.
3. Core Affect: Write about who the lore will affect. Everyone? Just a certain Race? A specific county or order?
4. Core Conflict: Write about potential lore conflicts with already existing lore. Does it not have any? Mention that!
5. Core Niche: What is your idea covering? "Tanky" Vampire? "Pretty bird"? Make sure it doesn't fill the same niche as something that is already lore!

 

[spoonly]

tatted up

 

[Kushiban]

You would be better off writing something like this as an Alior sub-culture then an actual complete new race.

 

[Suzzie]

Sounds almost like Shendar, just a bit.