Basic Information: Full Name: Riveano (Riven) Ettrian Ayen Spoiler: Enhanced Name Explanation. Riven Ettrian Ayen was this mans birth name. Ayen coming from his mother as his father was kept a secret due to his Viridian service, from public eyes. However, living in Daendroc to shelter her child, Riven's mother and the child received discrimination of the worst kind, seeking to make their names blend into the Daendroc culture. As a result, Riven became Riveano Estiban Fredereckson, with the last name, his father's mother's surname before marriage. After moving to Regalia, it was changed to Aldrich Estiban Fredereck, to mask his Avanthar culture and assimilate into Regalian culture. Age: 45 Gender: Male Race: Half Avanthar, Half Anglian Ailor Main Ambition: To find his place in society and establish his purpose in life. As a man of two cultures at war; felling betrayed by his Avanthar home due to the war, he seeks a life in Regalia of peace. Spoiler: Basic Information (Expansion) Basic Information (Expansion) Riveano is new to Regalia, only living in the city for 16 months. He works as a freelance sell sword, but recently wishes to ease into a more calming occupation, which remains to be seen. His housing is not yet decided though he alternates taking up favors from friends in exchange for housing. He was brought up in Daendroc along with his two sisters. Being born to a prominent Avanthar tribal figure of a mother and an Anglian Viridian of a father. Riveano was always a man of two cultures. Despite the rise of the Elven Empire being at an all-time low, as a child. he now see's the current war as a disgusting and unnecessary conflict. Visual Information: Eye Color: Aqua Blue Hair Color: Jet Black Hair Style: Long and wavy, typically styled half tied up and half down. Skin Color: Lightly tanned, his arms a little darker due to being in high temperatures, though is lighter then the average Avanthar due to his mother being Alt-Anglian Clothing: Light clothing, typically a loose fitted shirt with short sleeves, loose fitted pants with a shoal tied around his waist. Topped off with light leather boots. (Or the equivalent of a lighter plated metal over wear for combat, like conquistadors.) Height: 6ft 6Inches Weight: 210lbs Body Build: Slim but slightly built, fit from active lifestyle. Weapon of Choice: Arcol Elven Recurved Bow, Anglian Longbow, Avanthar Axe Spoiler: Visual Information (Expansion) Visual Information (Expansion) He has a slighly narrow, yet defined jawline shaped head with almond shaped aqua blue eyes. His nose is small and curved with his lips being thin and typically pink. He has thick beard across his jaw and around his mouth/chin. He has a light scar just right of his right eye above and under his eye. His body shape is of average size, quite slim but also has some muscle which is visible due to Avanthar and Anglian Genetics coupled with an active lifestyle. He has a tanner complexion then Ailor, but not as much as Avanthar completion, passing as a Daendroque-Anglian Mix. Tattoo’s on his arms which are in a Daendroque style and also a tattoo of a redwood leaf on his ankle. Like most men is typically hairy around the legs, chest. His clothes tend to be light due to having been raised in high temperatures. Most of his clothing is loose fitted but kept together with a shoal/scarf around his waist. The tone of his voice is soft but also deep, with him having spent most of his life so far around other Daendroc, he carries the regions accent. (Spanish Accent). His common at first was bad, but greatly improved and he finds himself wording things beautifully, almost, unnecessarily so, which can annoy some Ailor who just want the point across. Other times he can be blunt due to a lack of desire to speak vibrantly. Skill Information 45 Proficiency Points +20 Arcol Elven Recurved Bow (+10 From School of Avant, + 10 Proficiency Points) +15 Anglian Longbow (+10 From School of Wapnbog, + 5 Proficiency Points) +20 Avanthar Axe (+10 From School of Avant, + 10 Proficiency Points) +20 Neflin History (+10 From School of History, + 10 Proficiency Points) +20 Horse Riding (+10 From birth in Ularen Wastes, + 10 Proficiency Points) 45 Cultural Points +10 Drawing +10 Painting +5 Dancing Languages Imperial Elvish: Native Daendroque: Native Common: Fluent Alt-Regalian: Semi-Fluent Personality and Abilities Intimidating: The man comes off rather stoic in personality, mainly just due to his service as a sellsword, obtaining discipline from such. This coupled with his rugged look, height, beard, and facial scar along with Daendroque style tattoos gives him a almost scary appearance, which would fool man due to his rather direct and understanding mindset. Intellectual: Unfortunately for others who would think someone so intimidating must be uneducated, they would find themselves wrong. He has a high intellect which came about by being quite the book worm due to his mother having to educate him to blend into Daendroque culture. Seeing as he was the child of two cultures, his parents bombarded the boy with both physical and academic training. This lead him to being mature at a young age, but also. It comes in handy when in difficult situations, whether they are physical confrontations or daily conversations. Rash/Blunt: He isn’t afraid to be up front with someone about their manor and such despite himself not being one to show much disrespect towards others. This causes unnecessary confrontations with those of out of the ordinary behavior and such as he never knows quite when to stop once he has started despite his intellect, can come off rude. However this does become a positive if he ever spots trouble during his daily outings, he is not one to shy away from a damsel in distress with this being the only time his rash persona becomes less of an issue if someone is in trouble or requires assistance. Silly: Riveano is know for being very silly around his siblings, having banter conversations, rivalries and a good laugh with friends and or family. From playing with their hair to giving a thumbs up or sticking out his tongue, he tries to enjoy a situation and can be a bit silly as a result when this is coming from what would first appear as an intimidating looking and blunt speaking man. But he does know how to have, being from Daendroc after all. Artistic: Similar to his younger sister, he has a steak of creativity in his blood and will dabble in creating pieces of art in secret to pass the time. He doesn’t admit it to anyone in fear it would be embarrassing and affect his representation. It’s a guilty pleasure he just can’t help but it keeps his emotions at bay. Family Man: The man loves his sisters, and family. He absolutely adores his niece and truly desires to take the roll his father left behind as man of the family. This and the dream to be a father himself, Riveano has this sort of exported aura of acceptance to others, acting as a fatherly figure. This makes him appear warm-hearted to others after they get to know him. Spoiler: Likes Likes Bow Making - Riveano likes making bows. His father taught him at a young age and it is both an ease of the mind and a reminisce of the past as well as a source of income. Family Occasions - Riveano absolutely enjoys spending time with family. He wishes to make up for the late teen and early adult years he lost with his family. The man also enjoys just having good fun with those he loves. Telling Jokes - If you know Riveano, you know he's very, very good at roasting. Once simply can not hold back a laugh to his well timed, and properly accurate comments or jokes. It's what makes him fun to be around, and he thoroughly enjoys such. Spoiler: Dislikes Dislikes Racism - Needless to say, when you're a half neflin in Regalia engaged to a Songaskia, You're going to run into a ton of racism. Riven despises such, as he wishes to protect Fathiyaa from such, as well as his family, sisters and niece included. Sail-ships - Growing up on the plains, riding horses, Riven be default, just flat out hates the idea of being in the middle of the ocean. Coming to regalia was a pain, and he got sea sick, to add to his dislike of being on sail-ships. Smoking - Riveano has always despised smoking. It's gross to him, unhealthy, unattractive and stupid. With his fiancee pregnant, he tells people off that smoke near her. Or just falt out in general tells them to go outside. Strengths Bow and arrow: His choice of weapon of choice is typically a bow and arrow. He has been raised majority of his life with other Avanthar in Daendroc and even with the passing of his father learned a great deal on the art of archery from other males amongst his camp. From learning at a young age he performs well and has a high accuracy when using it. Intellect: Again his intellect makes it easier for him to make decisions even when in difficult situations such as the physical type, which he is known for getting into. He is quite the show off and the guy everyone usually dislikes for being such a show off. But this doesn’t faze him and takes it in his stride. His confidence contributes to him being aware of everything around him which is handy in all situations. Body: With being slim and slightly built he has quick movement which even with drowning armor he can overcome the weight which again is handy in physical altercations. This is something he always uses to his advantage, more so to using bow and arrow as his weapon choice. Weaknesses Too Trusting: Riveano is use to the lifestyle of leading his tribe, where he trust everyone and they trust him. "Friends" are new to him, and he enjoys having such connections, but as a result is unaware of how some people can outright burn him, or scam him. As a result, he simply is too trusting with new people and accepts them openly, which could lead to everything from him being pick-pocketed to scammed, or betrayed. Impulsive: Riveano tends to be very impulsive, not thinking before he acts, rather relying on instinct and skills he already has. As a result, he's know for making less then correct choices, from simply having a drink to much, to pissing off the wrong person. This shows he is not a thinker as much as he'd want to be. Stubborn: Like his younger sister, Riveano is a stubborn, stubborn middle child. Though he respects authority, his peers and siblings face his rash stubbornness quite often. He'll offen just do whatever he wants, if he thinks its better. Luckily, Fathiyaa avoids this and even can to an extent, control this. Others see this as, well, stubborn, arrogant, or foolish. [/SPOILER] Life Story Riven Ettrian Ayen was born on March 9th, 261 A.C. to an Avanthar Tribal figure of a mother and a Anglian Viridian of a father in the Ularen Wastes. Being a mix of two cultures, and a illegitimate son, his father did not take up the boy and instead worked to keep the son a secret. His mother raised the boy in her tribe, where he learned horse riding, Avnathar axes and Arcol Elven Recurved Bow Archery till he was 17 years of age, before they moved from the tribe to Daendroc, though the local Ailor discriminated against them, and so, his mother decided to have herself and Riven change their name to blend into the culture of Daendroc. Riven Ettrian Ayen became Riviano Estiban Fredereckson. Fredereckson was a subliminal connection to his father, as it was based off his grandmother's maiden name, Fredereck. The boy was sent countless books and even scholar's by his father, who occasionally visited him. Riveano grew up understanding his father could not be there for him always, though he also hated this, vowing to be a better father to his children, should the day ever come. When in Daendroc, once his name was changed, he'd have access to a facility of Anglian Longbow training. In the time his father visited, two younger sister were born, though, by then, Riveano was back and forth between Regalian and Daendroc, studying in the home of the Empire under a new name. Aldrich Estiban Fredereck. He'd pass as a Daendroque-Anglian mix, due to his striking blue eyes, black hair, and Daendroquen accent, attending the Wapnbog School for a continuation on his Anglian Longbow training, before returning to the Capitial city for an education in Neflin History where he then gained work as a sellsword an expeditions to Avanthar or Daendroc lands. In his later years, he'd grow tired of his sellsword service and move back to Regalia to find out about his father's passing. Confused and conflicted, realizing his own age, he'd start to have a midlife crisis, realizing he has yet to have a family of his own. Now in days, Aldrich seeks to settle into easier and more relaxing work in the city while hoping to soon start a family of his own.
Sorry for the wait! Here's my review: It is Avanthar, not Avantar. Please put your likes and dislikes in a spoiler. "Soft hearted" is not a weakness, as it could be beneficial and detrimental, depending upon the situation. Replace this. I can't help but feel as if the weakness "bad ankle" is a cop-out. If he can walk and run with it fine, where's the real issue? I'd like you to replace this weakness as well. Make the edits in another colour and tag me when you're done!
@PonyoWantHam Alrighty, replaced Soft Hearted and Bad ankle with Too Trusting and Impulsive. Put Likes and dislikes in spoilers and color coated the added info in a light teal color. Also corrected the spelling of Avanthar.
@valuevillain I'd highlight what I changed, but I pretty much redid everything so I'll attempt to summarize. Just need a re-review c: Age: 45 Race: Half Avanthar, Half Anglian Ailor Main Ambition: To find his place in society and establish his purpose in life. As a man of two cultures at war; feeling betrayed by his Avanthar home due to the war, he seeks a life in Regalia of peace. Spoiler: [B]Life Story[/B] Life Story Riven Ettrian Ayen was born on March 9th, 261 A.C. to an Avanthar Tribal figure of a mother and a Anglian Viridian of a father in the Ularen Wastes. Being a mix of two cultures, and a illegitimate son, his father did not take up the boy and instead worked to keep the son a secret. His mother raised the boy in her tribe, where he learned horse riding, Avnathar axes and Arcol Elven Recurved Bow Archery till he was 17 years of age, before they moved from the tribe to Daendroc, though the local Ailor discriminated against them, and so, his mother decided to have herself and Riven change their name to blend into the culture of Daendroc. Riven Ettrian Ayen became Riviano Estiban Fredereckson. Fredereckson was a subliminal connection to his father, as it was based off his grandmother's maiden name, Fredereck. The boy was sent countless books and even scholar's by his father, who occasionally visited him. Riveano grew up understanding his father could not be there for him always, though he also hated this, vowing to be a better father to his children, should the day ever come. When in Daendroc, once his name was changed, he'd have access to a facility of Anglian Longbow training. In the time his father visited, two younger sister were born, though, by then, Riveano was back and forth between Regalian and Daendroc, studying in the home of the Empire under a new name. Aldrich Estiban Fredereck. He'd pass as a Daendroque-Anglian mix, due to his striking blue eyes, black hair, and Daendroquen accent, attending the Wapnbog School for a continuation on his Anglian Longbow training, before returning to the Capitial city for an education in Neflin History where he then gained work as a sellsword an expeditions to Avanthar or Daendroc lands. In his later years, he'd grow tired of his sellsword service and move back to Regalia to find out about his father's passing. Confused and conflicted, realizing his own age, he'd start to have a midlife crisis, realizing he has yet to have a family of his own. Now in days, Aldrich seeks to settle into easier and more relaxing work in the city while hoping to soon start a family of his own. Spoiler: [B]Enhanced Name Explanation[/B] Riven Ettrian Ayen was this mans birth name. Ayen coming from his mother as his father was kept a secret due to his Viridian service, from public eyes. However, living in Daendroc to shelter her child, Riven's mother and the child received discrimination of the worst kind, seeking to make their names blend into the Daendroc culture. As a result, Riven became Riveano Estiban Fredereckson, with the last name, his father's mother's surname before marriage. After moving to Regalia, it was changed to Aldrich Estiban Fredereck, to mask his Avanthar culture and assimilate into Regalian culture. Spoiler: [B]Skill Information[/B] Skill Information (Optional) 45 Proficiency Points +20 Arcol Elven Recurved Bow (+10 From School of Avant, + 10 Proficiency Points) +15 Anglian Longbow (+10 From School of Wapnbog, + 5 Proficiency Points) +20 Avanthar Axe (+10 From School of Avant, + 10 Proficiency Points) +20 Neflin History (+10 From School of History, + 10 Proficiency Points) +20 Horse Riding (+10 From birth in Ularen Wastes, + 10 Proficiency Points) 45 Cultural Points +10 Drawing +10 Painting +5 Dancing Languages Imperial Elvish: Native Daendroque: Native Common: Fluent Alt-Regalian: Semi-Fluent
I will be taking over this review. Here's what you got: Okay, so before I dive into a review, you have quite a bit to do. Currently in your proficiencies you have a mix of School of Avant and School of Wapnbog, this is not possible. You can only have a single school. But you may use your individual proficiencies from the additional proficiency pool. Additionally you do not gain a racial bonus due to being a half breed. Only full Avanthar gain the horeriding boost. You need to update to the new character application format in order for me to provide a review. Due to the large amount of edits I am going to reject the application. Once you rewrite it fully updated, then you can get a review for the whole character. @Zombiel3ait
