Return To The Past

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"This is reality."

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"You are nothing more than a pathetic excuse of a manchild. Never associate with me again."

"I… think you were harsher than you needed to be. It hurts to see the two of you fight… dragging something on and on again, frustration boiling from past conversations, and then carrying into the next with no end to it all…"

These few lines continued to repeat in Briareth's mind as they walked home from the Inquest Trial, zoned out as sentences and other situations from the past few days dug into their mind with minutes drawing out further.

"Are you happy being this way?"

"All this anger, is it ever tiring?"

"Do you enjoy hurting people?"

The Voidling would've stopped in their tracks, just a few neighborhoods away from their destination. They gazed up at the night sky, counting a few stars as the words continued eating at them, trying to distract themselves from facing the truth of reality.

"She deserved it. I'm not the bad guy," They reassured themselves, attention shifting down to their own hands, right hand made of Dark Metal. Both palms faced upwards, curling their hands into fists seconds later, "I did nothing wrong; they just don't understand me. They don't understand me. They don't understand my pain. Why, why am I the one punished in the end?"

"You are punished, because you made yourself lesser. Why play the good guy role, when you were made to be the bad guy?"

Another voice came to Briar's mind, Ophiel. The Silven continued to speak out toward her, even with no one in sight.

"I'm not following what you mean."

"Briar, you are being what you're not, you were never meant to be the good guy. You made yourself vulnerable, you sacrificed much more than you should have, you sacrificed your confidence, your happiness, your pride, for everyone's approval. People see you as a joke, they blame you, because you are in the end, the bad guy, no matter what."

"I /was/ the bad guy, but I'm not anymore. Life is better, people prefer me like this even with my issues still."

"Better? Like this? They only prefer you like this so they could be above you and have some form of control over you. You are now stepped on; you are now lesser. Where has the spark gone?"

"Spark?"

"Yes! Spark, idiot! Where has your pride gone, where has the anger gone? You have small outbursts, but always feel bad afterwards when you shouldn't. What happened to you, Briareth? You took pride in your anger and used it as strength, you never let people get to you. You were successful, you were happy, you progressed, now we're at a standstill."

"I was hurting people, Ophiel, even my own friends."

"They deserved it, all of them. They hurt you and others who you saw as friends too, and they were hit with karma you dished out justly. True friends would take your side, would understand you, would accept you for who you are. They would accept your angry, prideful, violent self. Stop wasting time and accept this reality."

"What reality?"

"Return to the roots you strayed from, make them suffer like they made you."

The voice had silenced. Briar's thoughts were scattered after that conversation, a few questions repeated in their head like before, though this time, they answered to themselves, "I'm not happy this way."

That was the truth they never wanted to face. They lived off of false hope, that one day, they would be seen as the good guy, when they were never made to be.

A villain, trying to play the hero. Funny.

A decision was made that night, and Briareth continued on home.

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Grey is Allynna Mecatl
Purple is Valenia Aetris

NOTE: Thank you for reading! This may seem a bit scattered, as I had major writers block and Briar's mind as a character is everywhere, but I wanted to do a little something with Briar's internal conflict on where they stood in society.