Preserved Sheet Ret Naarav - Desert Dakkar

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Gochnipunchni

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If his mind had a soundtrack, it would be this.



Basic Information (Required)

  • Age: 69
  • Gender: Male
  • Race: Dakkar
  • Main Ambition: Knowledge, of Regalia's culture, of these strange "Pinkskins" and of his own magic.
  • Special permission: Expert Level Stone Magic, and Environmental Manipulation
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Visual Information (Required)

  • Eye Color: Sandy Yellow
  • Hair Color: None
  • Hair Style: None
  • Skin Color: Sandy Yellow with a hint of reddish
  • Clothing: A yellow loincloth
  • Height: 6'7
  • Weight: 197 pounds
  • Body Build: Slender for a Dakkar, Ectomorph
  • Weapon of Choice: Expert level Stone Magic Enviromental Manipulation and Mage level hurling stone
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Personality and Abilities (Required)
Personality Traits

  • (+) Tenacious, "It will take more than that to beat me!" Ret's life in the desert, surviving against all odds. Has forced Ret to become tenacious. He will push through any obstacle whether it harms him or not. This is evident in the fact that he will occasionally overexert himself while practicing magic attempting to go further and further. It effects others as he is usually perceived as bull-headed, storming into problems.
  • (+) Adaptable, "Wow.. I never thought of it that way" To adapt is to grow, to change, and to change you must forego what you once believed to be "right," classify it as "wrong," and then adopt what you now believe to be the new "right." If you don't, you stagnate. This is something that Ret understands fully, his life in the desert has forced him to adapt in new ways. Annoying those around him by changing his mind or his strategies at the drop of a coin, it lets him survive, but doesnt make him many friends.
  • (+) Religious, "Save your bows for the lord, Hael!" The definition of religious is such: "relating to or manifesting faithful devotion to an acknowledged ultimate reality or deity". Ret follows this down to the word, worshiping Hael to such a large degree that he joined the New Sun Dakkar, to forward the religion and to fight back at Freya Lo. He regularly preaches to anyone who is around him, sometimes frustrating those who are not also Hael-worshippers.
  • (-) Naive, "Why are you carrying that knife?" Ret's early life growing up in the desert with honest, hardworking Qadir has left him thinking that all people are like this. If he was artwork he would be a denoting art produced in a straightforward style that deliberately rejects sophisticated artistic techniques and has a bold directness resembling a child's work, typically in bright colors. This requires others to help him along, as he can become stuck on "Wait... Why does..."
  • (-) Absent-Minded, "... What?" Ret may seem as if he has a habitually forgetful or inattentive disposition. But in actuality he is simply reminiscing of his days in the desert, or thinking about the next Stone Magic experiment to undertake. However he regularly misses critical or crucial details because of that.
  • (-) Mischievous, "It was him!" Ret has an aptitude and a delight in playing tricks on others, be it filling their shoes with sand or engulfing the shoes altogether into the ground. He will regularly display this behavior even in combat, engulfing his opponent entirely into the ground, leaving their head above ground and laugh at them. He will however, try to be discreet about it... and fail.
Strengths
  • Expert Level Stone Magic, Ret has extensive knowledge of stone magic, so much so that he can use Enviromental Manipulation and hurling stone to control large amounts of stone, seemingly effortlessly. Though this is incredibly taxing for him. Therefore he is highly prone to overexertion and subsequently unconsciousness. He regularly uses it with a high degree of capability

  • Smart, Ret's natural tenaciousness to learn more is reinforced by his ability to learn quickly. Add them together you have a a very intelligent being (For Dakkar standards). His profession as a mage further reinforces this and he puts hundreds of hours toward learning more about the Dakkar culture.

  • Affinity with the Desert: Ret's childhood growing up in the desert has caused him to grow to love the endless sandy dunes. Ret's wish is to spread the knowledge of his stone magic, Environmental Manipulation then return to the desert. Being a Dakkar he loves the heat, and the sand helps him keep clean so the desert is the perfect habitat for him. He knows a large degree about the desert and almost everything to do with it. He can easily hold a conversation on any topic with a relation to the desert.
Weaknesses
  • Hunchback, Slow, Ret has spent so many hours hunched over a book, desperately reading as fast as possible that he has a continuous hunchback. This hampers his already meager movement and causes him to be about 40% the speed of an average Alior. Ret is the epitome of a stationary combatant, preferring to sit back, and influence the battle from afar. This has regressed into an actually bent spine, curving inwards, this will occasionally cause him severe back pain, and potentially medical problems later in life.

  • Short-sighted, Ret has spent too long thinking only of the now rather than the future or the past. He concerns himself with daily survival above all else and his Naive nature reflects this. He doesn't think in the long-term how his actions will effect others and it can make him seem selfish at times.

  • Short-sighted (literally) - Years of living in quite bright light reflecting off the dunes of the desert has caused Ret to have severe shortsightedness. He cannot see well beyond a meter. Everything besides this is simply a blur. This regularly effects his casting, being practically incapable of casting long-range.

  • Afraid of bodies of water, living in a land devoid of any but the smallest amounts of water has caused Ret to have an unnatural fear of water. He is afraid of anything from creeks to oceans. It is mainly because of his confusion that water seems so changeable but yet.. not, it always seems to be there, but it's not the same. This terrifies him to the point of incapacitation.


Relationships:
  • Kohi, Kohi is Ret's fellow Danna-Parrabuddh, he and ret are as thick as thieves, or in this case, Mages. In any case, they are inseparable, Ret translating for Kohi into common as he does not speak the language, Kohi helping out in fights and the like. @SK8T10
  • Verise, Verise is a like-minded human water Mage whom he met in the tavern one day, they are passing friends but nowhere near Kohi. However she does offer helpful 3rd party opinions. @GoldenAisles
  • Nal Roh, Nal Roh has become somewhat of a father figure for Ret, a fellow Dakkar making his way in Regalia, the leader of the New Sun. Essentially Ret looks up to him. @KiddingAround
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Life Story (Required)
235 AC - Ret is born to a group of Dakkar migrants who moved to Farah'deen, However his mother died at birth.
240 AC - While accompanying his father on a trade run, his Sand Ship was attacked by bandits, his family was killed and he was left in the desert.
240 AC 1/2 - Ret is found eating the remains of a cactus by a family of Qadir nomads, they take him in, (He was a cute little baby lizard at that point) and treat him as one of their own.
245 AC - Ret is 10 years old, he has survived by instead of eating ore like most Dakkar, he eats sand, giving him a natural camouflage, His family travels across the length of Farah'deen, Ret always in their wake.
260 AC - As a 25 year old, his family reveals a secret to him, they are stone mages. They begin to teach Ret in this art.
265 AC - Ret is considered a Caster in the art, and sets off into the desert, wanting to find out more about his race.
270 AC - Ret stumbles across a Seraph ruin, he is almost killed by a Sadier before he managed to defeat it using stone magic, while taking cover in the ruin he discovers a tome that details a new use of stone magic, to use environmental manipulation to control stone (Up to expert level tome)
280 AC - After learning as much as he can from the tome, and years of practice, he is considered a mage level, and can control stone easily, though it tires him out considerably
285 AC - He finds this ability immensely useful when he manages to use it to create artificial sandstorms to propel his Sand Ship, though he goes unconscious after about 5 minutes of use.
290 AC - Arrives in a port city in Farah-deen, Hears of a fantastic city, full of Dakkar of all shapes and sizes, he wishes to go there to learn more of his culture.
295 AC - Arrives in Regalia, begins learning better Tekree from another Dakkar,
304 AC - Lo takes over, Ret is stunned, joins the New Sun Dakkar to help fight back, reaches Expert level stone magic in Enviromental Manipulation and mage in hurling stone
304 1/4 AC - Present

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Affinity with the Desert: Ret's childhood growing up in the desert has caused him to grow to love the endless sandy dunes. Ret's wish is to spread the knowledge of his Sand Environmental Manipulation then return to the desert. Being a Dakkar he loves the heat, and the sand helps him keep clean so the desert is the perfect habitat for him.

i personally don't see how this could be useful ngl.

SCD, Ret suffers from sickle cell disease (SCD). SCD is a serious, inherited condition affecting the blood and various organs in the body. It affects the red blood cells, causing episodes of sickling, which produce episodes of pain and other symptoms. In between episodes of sickling, people with SCD are normally well. Long-term complications can occur. Certain conditions can trigger sickling, such as cold, infection, lack of fluid in the body (dehydration), shock or low oxygen.

is this sickle cell anemia? does this exist ic?? i know that in the Real World (Tm) it started off as a mutation that prevented malaria, so i dont see how this would come into play here, or if dakkar would even get it. especially since a dakkar wouldn't be able to be bitten by a mosquito to get malaria

Ret's natural tenaciousness to learn more is reinforced by his ability to learn quickly.

i get what you're saying, but you might want to elaborate on this point a lil more to clarify

Though this is incredibly taxing for him. He is however, prone to overexerting himself.

this is practically the same sentence twice

but yeah that's all I got
 
i personally don't see how this could be useful ngl.



is this sickle cell anemia? does this exist ic?? i know that in the Real World (Tm) it started off as a mutation that prevented malaria, so i dont see how this would come into play here, or if dakkar would even get it. especially since a dakkar wouldn't be able to be bitten by a mosquito to get malaria



i get what you're saying, but you might want to elaborate on this point a lil more to clarify



this is practically the same sentence twice

but yeah that's all I got
GG on that peer review m8
 
Ok, added in sand color lol some changes to it, like making affinity for the desert useful and whatnot... waiting on the Aenemia though.. plus it said that Dakkar are weak to diseases.
 
I'm going to mention that two of your weaknesses are physical.

As you are making a skilled mage of a largely unknown style, I suggest that you add at least two mental weaknesses. You can look to other character sheets for inspiration if you want.
 
I'm going to mention that two of your weaknesses are physical.

As you are making a skilled mage of a largely unknown style, I suggest that you add at least two mental weaknesses. You can look to other character sheets for inspiration if you want.
Sure... I'll replace "Weak" as it is a cop out weakness
 
If he grew up in a desert he probably would have more resistance to cold than the cave dakkars, because those literally live at the side of lava pits.
 
If he grew up in a desert he probably would have more resistance to cold than the cave dakkars, because those literally live at the side of lava pits.
At this point, about 40% of the Dakkar living above ground were born there, plus there isn't actually that many lava pits underground, only for wealthy families.
 
BUUUUUUMMMMMMPPPPPPPPPP

(Added a few modifications)
 
  • SCD, Ret suffers from sickle cell disease (SCD). SCD is a serious, inherited condition affecting the blood and various organs in the body. It affects the red blood cells, causing episodes of sickling, which produce episodes of pain and other symptoms. In between episodes of sickling, people with SCD are normally well. Long-term complications can occur. Certain conditions can trigger sickling, such as cold, infection, lack of fluid in the body (dehydration), shock or low oxygen.
man, its getting hard to find weaknesses for fightor types, I had to use epilepsy. I got the idea after I had a seizure.
 
So sorry for making you wait! Christmas got in the way and devices crashed in the car. Here's the review.
  • Expand on your character's main ambition. What kind of knowledge is he trying to persue? How does he intend to acquire it? Try to think of something that drives your roleplay and helps you initiate with others. At the same time, this could be an essential part of your life story. While it isn't recommended you type out a whole essay on why your character wants to do what they want to do, it needs to be relevant to your character.
  • As mentioned in the life story, keep in mind that stone mages can't shift sand to any degree. It's been mentioned in Lore Q&As in the past. Remove all mentions of sand Mage or sand controlling abilities from your life story and any other place it's mentioned in the app.
  • Expand on all of your personality traits bar mischievous with how they affect how he interacts with people. As I told you last I reviewed your applications, make sure you include in your personality a general description of the trait, how they got it and how it affects them in roleplay.
  • SCD is a sickness in real life, and more often than not real life sicknesses don't have a massivecraft correspondent. If this really is a weakness you want to stick by, write a lore Q&A about how compliant this disease in the universe and then adjust accordingly. Serious sicknesses like this often don't have a counterpart in lore, so double check. If you're too lazy to do that or if you're reconsidering this weakness, replace the mention of SCD with another weakness, preferably a mental one.
  • Low resistance to cold is a cop-out weakness because it's part of your character's race. I also don't see a way this would affect you in roleplay apart from the rare encounter with an ice mage. Maybe don't remove it, but at least add another weakness to balance out his expert and Mage level in magic. I like your hunchback trait though.
You know the drill; make edits in a colour of your choice and @tag me once you're done. Happy writing!
 
Low resistance to cold is a cop-out weakness because it's part of your character's race. I also don't see a way this would affect you in roleplay apart from the rare encounter with an ice mage.
I swear I don't mean to override your review, and it would be best for him to find another weakness as the reason backing this specific one is a tad forced (I love you Ender!). But the racial weakness to cold is suprisimgly relevant, especially during this current winter in regalia (it's pretty hard to find a Dakkar playing in the snow, eh?). It makes rp on the surface particularly hard, and makes fighting (or anything tbh) nearly impossible.

I just thought this was a nest little thing worth mentioning, so I just dropped it here =)
 
I swear I don't mean to override your review, and it would be best for him to find another weakness as the reason backing this specific one is a tad forced (I love you Ender!). But the racial weakness to cold is suprisimgly relevant, especially during this current winter in regalia (it's pretty hard to find a Dakkar playing in the snow, eh?). It makes rp on the surface particularly hard, and makes fighting (or anything tbh) nearly impossible.

I just thought this was a nest little thing worth mentioning, so I just dropped it here =)
It's a racial weakness thus already implied like an expert mage sucking in physical combat
 
I swear I don't mean to override your review, and it would be best for him to find another weakness as the reason backing this specific one is a tad forced (I love you Ender!). But the racial weakness to cold is suprisimgly relevant, especially during this current winter in regalia (it's pretty hard to find a Dakkar playing in the snow, eh?). It makes rp on the surface particularly hard, and makes fighting (or anything tbh) nearly impossible.

I just thought this was a nest little thing worth mentioning, so I just dropped it here =)

All cool, just let me clear up that reasoning for you. It's natural for Dakkar to not be resistant to cold. It's part of their race. Let's say for example a Ch'ien-Ji added onto their weaknesses section 'short' and explained why that was a disadvantage; it would not be accepted as a standalone weakness because shortness is part of the race, and playing the race means accepting the natural weaknesses that come with the race. For the Dakkar, in this case, it's their lack of resistance for the cold. Since it's below normal resistance, I wouldn't say necessarily remove it; it's just not a weakness I accept as part of the core three to balance out this character's strengths. It all needs to be balanced. I hope you understand and I know you're just KiddingAround here, but I just wanted to offer some insight since you seemed confused in my reasoning. ^u^
 
@Chiruda For #2, In fact i ran several lore Q and A's about this, asked staff, and even made a ticket on it, the general consensus was that yes, it is possible, no it is not easy, and at maximum a Mage could only lift a cubic meter of sand (eg. one block) for 2 minutes, its incredibly exhausting and will often drag Ret to unconsciousness
 
@Chiruda For #2, In fact i ran several lore Q and A's about this, asked staff, and even made a ticket on it, the general consensus was that yes, it is possible, no it is not easy, and at maximum a Mage could only lift a cubic meter of sand (eg. one block) for 2 minutes, its incredibly exhausting and will often drag Ret to unconsciousness
I believe you, but could you be so kind as to link me to the Lore Q&A for personal inquiry? Thanks! Also remember to tag me once edits are done n'all.
 
Enhanced "Hatred of the cold" to a stupid degree, working on another weakness
 
I cannot seem to find the Lore Q and A on it but.. I have a few screenies of staff saying that you could levitate 1mm sized stones, and according to this official chart, "Course sand" is classified as 2mm to .68 mm, so it fits nicely in the middle.
@Chiruda
Screenies here