Preserved Sheet Marianna Speziale

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@LumosJared
I was rereading the wiki page for Vultaro, and realized that some of the dates didn't make sense.
I de-aged Marianna to 29 years, if that's okay, as it seems quite close to thirty and still fits at 12 year training.
I also changed some of her ages in the life story, such as turning her from 27 to 26 during the Purge of Vultaro.
Changed some aesthetics as well, but I don't think these changes are big enough to get a re-review done.
 
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@LumosJared Do you happen to know why I was rejected? Just curious, I want to fix any issues <3
 
I am claiming this character application for staff review!
Expect a response within 24 hours.
 
@IndigoIvy
☼ Staff Review! ☼
Hello, my name is Eccetra and I'll be reviewing your app today.​
  • I'd recommend removing the little descriptions under each section, as it makes the application look a lot cleaner!
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  • The special permission section is not necessary for champion level combat anymore! You can just remove it.
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  • Only 10 proficiency points in each of the 3 sections are gained from attending a school, the rest must be allotted using free points. Please change your proficiencies accordingly!
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  • Please place the visual expansion, talents, and relationships under a spoiler tab!
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  • How does Marianna act around her friends? Is she less strict around them, can she allow herself to let loose or show her feelings? Explain this in the third personality paragraph!
Please mark your changes in green and tag me when you're finished!
 
@IndigoIvy
Hello! Just checking up. How is progress on those edits? Anything you're struggling with?
 
Eccetra said:
@IndigoIvy
☼ Staff Review! ☼
Hello, my name is Eccetra and I'll be reviewing your app today.​
  • I'd recommend removing the little descriptions under each section, as it makes the application look a lot cleaner!
    -
  • The special permission section is not necessary for champion level combat anymore! You can just remove it.
    -
  • Only 10 proficiency points in each of the 3 sections are gained from attending a school, the rest must be allotted using free points. Please change your proficiencies accordingly!
    -
  • Please place the visual expansion, talents, and relationships under a spoiler tab!
    -
  • How does Marianna act around her friends? Is she less strict around them, can she allow herself to let loose or show her feelings? Explain this in the third personality paragraph!
Please mark your changes in green and tag me when you're finished!
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
@Eccetra Done!
 
@IndigoIvy
Great job on the edits so far! Just a couple of things.
  • The special permission section still needs to be removed!
    -
  • At the moment your proficiency points amount to a total of 40. Remember to remove 10 points for the Bladesong School!
Tag me when these edits are completed.
 
This is an incredibly old character that I will be reforming completely. This may take a while, however, is it possible to move to WIP sheets?
 
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