Preserved Sheet Marianna Speziale

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BeetrootSalad

the gremlin
Supremium
Joined
Jun 1, 2015
Messages
999
Reaction score
3,668
Points
413
Location
Waldmark
Faction
Drachovia
Roleplay Guilds
The New Regalian Community
burning-rose-video-id163980768

"The elephant never forgets."

⚔ Basic Information (Required) ⚔
  • Full Name: Marianna 'Mari' Speziale
  • Age: 31
  • Gender: Female
  • Race: Dressolini Ailor with traces of New Ceardian ancestry
  • Main Ambition: Justice and power for her family, fighting to defend the name of Unionism and the Emperor
Skill Information (Required)
  • 31 Proficiency Points Total
  • Proficiency Points
    • +15 Longsword (+10 from Bladesong School, +5 from Points)
    • +15 Unionist Seminary (+10 from Bladesong School, +5 from Points)
    • +5 Large Shield (+15 from Points)
    • +5 Pavisa Crossbow (+5 from Points)
  • Cultural Points
    • +15 Pottery (+15 from Points)
    • +10 Vocal Arts (+10 from Bladesong School)
    • +5 Dancing (+5 from Points)
    • +5 Pastry Cooking (+5 from Points)
  • Languages
    • Common (Free)
    • Dressalo (+10 years from Age)
⚔ Visual Information ⚔
  • Eye Color: Murky hazel
  • Hair Color: Dark auburn streaks
  • Hair Style: Usually tied up
  • Skin Color: Tan
  • Clothing: A crimson dress with a maroon, patterned overdress.
  • Height: 5'4 (Feet and inches)
  • Body Build: Athletic
  • Weapon of Choice: Taglient, a Regalian Arming Sword
⚔ Visual Information (Expansion) ⚔
  • The Dressolinian face is usually calmly composed, a face that knows she is better than the majority of citizens. Her dark auburn hair is whisked delicately back, with a few slender curls and no bangs, typically in a tight bun. Her eyes are round, and slightly lidded, coupled with smooth and round eyebrows. Her chin is sharp, and a scar runs from the bottom of her left eye to her jawline, an attack from Lo's reign that she wears proudly.
  • Being 5 feet and 6 1/2 inches, she is relatively tall. She has a spoon shaped body, and is blessed to be decently attractive despite her personality. Even though she has some muscle and fat mass, she is strong and slim enough to be quick on her feet, with her training and career to keep her fit and shielding her from the fattening foods that most of the higher classes eat. Being a Dressolini, she has darker and tanner skin than most.
  • The Dressolinian often wears a simple, cranberry red dress with a loose collar that barely resembles a small scarf, and is draped around her shoulders. Over it, she dons a silky russet overdress, buttoned at the belly. During extreme events, traveling or work, the countess wears a coal-black tunic, leather arm-guards and a maroon fur vest, with a high yet loose collar. She normally carries a sheathed rapier at her belt and wears a gift from her mother, a golden locket with the pendant of a coyote.
  • Marianna has a creamy and smooth voice, with traces of a Dressolinan accent. Her words flow thickly together, and she has a tendency to end her statements with rhetorical questions or clarifications. Her th's are often heavy and lazy, sounding more like d's or f's. Her long vowels and trailing words make her sound lazy and as if she were dreaming.
  • Taglient was a sword gifted to her by her mother after she graduated the School of Bladesong. She cherished it greatly, as it was from a simpler time and has guided her in battle for almost her entire life after graduation. She takes good care of it, often sharpening and re-buffing it at the forge near the Golden Willow ( ;) ). The sword itself is glorious and expensive, and it is no wonder that she treats it with such respect. The blade is of bluesteel, gilded with copper. However, copper is weaker, and due to wearing and age, the blue hues of bluesteel have begun showing at the edges and peeking out through scratches in the layer of gild. Mari, being too lazy to constantly replace the bronze, simply sharpened the edges for a more intriguing look to the sword. The hilt is an interesting combination of black ebony wood, more bronze and a small, Solavrox gemstone. This gives the blade a bit of a 'holy' look, and it fits it's duty well.
⚔ Personality and Abilities (Required) ⚔
  • The following is required when filling out your character application. In order to explain the character's personality, we will ask you write a paragraph to respond to each question, and we'll provide some examples to give you some ideas. If you want to be helpful to reviewers, make sure to bold the keywords you are using that are traditionally seen as traits:
  • First Paragraph: A stranger would see her as arrogant and oblivious. However, they would start to notice the sweeter notes of her personality, such as her loyalty and unswerving honor code. She is often tense and strict around those of higher command, as she was taught to be in childhood, although she can relax and is surprisingly good fun and a good sport in parties and such if the mood calls for it. Some may see her as obsessive with Unionism and the Empire, although this is for good reason. (Shown in Second Paragraph.)
  • Second Paragraph: Marianna had grown up in an environment that exposed her and turned her into a 'soldier.' Constant drilling to 'do what she was told' or 'follow the crowd' has made her sheep-like, until quite recently, where she woke out of that mentality and realized that the heroes around her weren't what she expected. Currently, she is in denial, and secretly in extreme grief, as she was never 'taught' to handle the stresses of the real world. Due to not knowing whom to follow or what to do, she simply confided in something that had been around for her for years: Unionism and a strict honor code. Doing her best to ignore the now noticeable flaws in the Regalian government and mindset she had always relied on, she channels all that energy into her worship and her work. However, she seems to be cracking nowadays. Nowadays, though she places trust in others, the only thing she truly, absolutely confided in is Unionism. Luckily, her moral code and the Bladesong Code of Conduct fit in nicely with the creeds of Unionism, which is the main reason she defends so strongly.
  • Third Paragraph: Marianna was formally very kind and trusting to those of family. Of course, who else could you trust more? However, ever since her father's betrayal (more in Life Story), she has begun to become more untrusting and take her family for granted, now seeing her formally respectable sister as someone who wastes their time on pottery. Her closer friendships have been a bit rough, some diverging into romantic relationships or becoming enemies. On a more positive note, Marianna certainly knows how to maintain both formality and casualty with her friends, being able to joke around and keep a sense of politeness with her superiors.
  • Fourth Paragraph: The Dressolini is clearly a law oriented character. However, depending on your view, she could be good, evil or simply neutral. On one hand, she fights to protect what she believes in with honor and vigilance, on the other, she despises and may even try to arrest others, just because they hold different beliefs, including her family.
  • Fifth Paragraph (OPTIONAL): Marianna is highly arrogant, and believes that Unionism is the 'only' true religion. She doesn't necessary despise those who aren't of Unionist beliefs, but simply sees them as 'lesser beings.' She views Regalia and the Emperor extremely highly, and those who do not agree with the empire's views as mere pests, even though many are formidable and could likely best her in several skills.
⚔ Talents ⚔
  • Swordplay: Mari is incredibly experienced with swords. She's trained for many years, treating her weapon as if it were just an extension of her arm. Taught in the way of the Bladesong, she fights aggressively. Coupled with her strength, the Dressolini is a very formidable opponent.
  • Physically Strong: Being trained for years in the way of Bladesong, she can often outmatch her opponents in areas of brute force. She usually relies on this aspect during fights, taking on her opponent with strong arms. This is particularly helpful in her guard duties, as she weird a shield and longsword with plate armor.
  • Social Intelligence: The lady needs to keep her family reputation high, and often fixes the burned bridges from her uncle, keeping relationships in check and being as polite as she can to higher ranks on the pecking order. She can easily become friends with people she respects, sugarcoating and sometimes even flirting her way to the top, yet keeping herself professional and polite, despite acting self absorbed and talks mostly about herself.
⚔ Weaknesses (OPTIONAL) ⚔
  • Hearing: Throughout her life, the Ailor has never taken good care of her ears, and can only hear loud, single announcements clearly. She is unable to pick out small rustling sounds or quiet footsteps, and often is taken advantage of due to this, as well as having trouble conversing in loud and unfocused areas, such as the tavern. This allows for some rather rude pranks from her friends.
  • Distracted: Easily distracted, Marianna can easily procrastinate and completely forget what she may have been doing if something catches her attention. It makes her life difficult and delays her, as well as gaining her a reputation as childish, and sometimes useless. It takes a extreme amount of will-power and energy for her to finish a simple task without letting her mind wander or losing focus.
  • Stamina: Mari doesn't hold up very long in physical activity. She is easily tired out, and this does not twin well with her personal 'code of honor' and pride. She tends to be singled out during drills due to this, and often overworks herself to the point of injury due to her pride and fear of seeming weak. During chases or long fights, she simply cannot take it. Taught in the ways of Bladesong, she is one of the guards who seem to be constantly getting herself injured. Due to losing multiple criminals to a simple chase, this does not fare well with her high standards to herself.
  • Denial/Sheep's mentality/Brainwashed (If that's how you describe it): Ever since she was young, Mari was obeying and taught to follow. However, now that she was in the real world, things had become noticeably more tragic. She was always from a rich family, and due to her parent's behaviors and mannerisms, believed that everything was adventurous and noble. The constant flood of Regalian propaganda she took in while she was younger only worsened this. This worldview completely shatter when she witnessed her father burning alive for his heresy (More in Life Story). Because she refuses to belief that the world is truly as corrupt as it is, she has been pouring all this stress into Unionism.
⚔ Relationships (Optional) ⚔
  • Frederico Speziale (@KrakenLord01) - As her uncle and rolemodel, Marianna followed his every command when she was younger, and they grew close after Otto (Her father)'s death. However, recently, as she grows older and wiser, she realizes that his judgement may be clouded and that he burnt many bridges that she had once desired to cross.
  • Ania Howlester (@MantaRey) - As a former friend and commander, they were fairly close friends. However, it was more one-sided for the Speziale, as she respected and honored her as a hero. When she returned to Ithania, it was to her great belief that Ania had not remembered her. Soon, Edmure Howlester had told Marianna that she had married to William Howlester, a former 'crush' and dream of hers, that only furthered the rift between the former allies.
  • Eira Sorenvik (Deceased, @Shuikenai) - The two never actually got along well. From the start, Marianna thought she was arrogant and ignorant, as hypocritical as that may sound. She watched her fellow guardswoman attack multiple people that weren't worthy of such pains. Mari had her hesitations at first, as they were alike. She felt as if she peering into a mirror, and a monster had been reflected back. After her death, she celebrated, knowing that Eira was a traitor after all, and that she had nothing to worry about.
  • Valentius Decimar (@Deadfoe51) - She met him as a higher up during her work in the Order. Their relationship was akin to Ania's, but the two never went down the dark path that separated them. They are still friends to this day, although Valentius often treats the younger, perhaps stupider guard with sassy disdain.

⚔ Life Story (Required) ⚔
Marianna was given life from Otto and Melissa Speziale, and was born in the Ithanian district.
At age two, she was given a sister, Leonara. They barely got along, and soon became close friends.
At age five, her mother started teaching her about pottery and salt selling.
Around eight years of age, she was taught the creeds of Unionism. Immediately memorizing the creeds, she scolding adults cutely about the great Emperor. She talked to many of her friends and her sister as she practiced pottery, about Unionism and 'purging the evil bad guys' who thought different. She also picked up fencing, practicing with a tudor and her uncle Frederick.
She also had tudors teach her about history, reading and writing.
At age twelve, her parents sent her away to the School of Bladesong, and she trained there for 14 years.
She was relatively satisfied, but constantly bored, attempting to keep up the Speziale Legacy.
She started a tent near Greygate to sell salt, before one day spilling spices over a storage and realizing how useful it was, and inventing her family's flavored salt.
A year passed, and she became a young woman at the age of 26. Her life was one of ease until her father's death, when he was executed for heresy and treason. She found out that Otto had been a Vultar Unionist, helping in the coup to overthrow Tristan Lampero and committing heresy against the Church. This man, who had been a role model her entire life, was now seen in a completely different light. Mari had loved and looked up to him, and she became angry, upset and confused. Her grandfather died of grief and illness soon after, leaving her uncle Frederick to become the new family patriarch.
She wanted to find a way to make a difference in Regalia, and perhaps help in any way she could. Her father had been a Navy Captain, and her uncle bad grandfather had both been Viridian Knights. With a legacy such as this, she had no idea how to carry it proudly. Though one day, on her way to the tavern, a poster recruiting for Sisters of Petrova caught her eye. She joined the order soon after, and took the vows with the guide of her comrades. However, after the order had disbanded and Lo took over, she watched Frederico bend the knee and felt the same treachery from when she found out about her father's execution. Eira had greatly affected her mental state during this time, and when she died as a traitor, it put her mind at ease. Still, she began to notice the heavy flaws in the government she so dearly defended, and realized that the morals she was taught were beginning to become more and more delicate.
During the recent plagues, she fell ill and retreated back to her home in Ithania, worrying that she will die in a city without her direct family members. Seeing how strangely different her sister's belief was, she took her passive behaviors to offense and began to realize that most of her family had 'betrayed' her. However, when the plague passed, she returned to Regalia, just to be hired back into the Violet Order.
When she returned, she discovered a variety of things that felt like blows in her mind. She was forced to fight her old friends, as she thought they were possessed, while they attacked her, assuming she was the possessed one. This all was a lot for her take, and she's begun to pour more and pour of her time into Unionism, seeing as it hasn't directly betrayed her yet.
 
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Friendly Peer Review Incoming~
Disclaimer; No Salt Intended~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Basic and Visual Info;
  • First off, what type of ailor is she? Ithanian, northerne, new ceardian, etc?

Personality Traits;
  • I reccomend that you expand on each personality trait to make it explain the character a lot more.
  • Also get rid of one of your positive traits as well since you have four positive traits and two negative traits when you are suppose to have an equal amount.
  • I reccomend getting rid of spoiled and changing it into a physical weakness to balance out that you have sword play as a strength, perhaps bad vision in one of her eyes or having a bad knee or something similar to that.

Overall;
Overall this character sheet is quite nice and only needs a few things done on it before it can get approved { Unless said other wise by staff } and I wish you luck on getting this app approved!
 
four positive traits and two negative traits
Err, those are neutral traits.
I usually play Indepentant and Earthy as somewhat negetive neutral traits.
I reccomend getting rid of spoiled and changing it into a physical weakness to balance out that you have sword play as a strength, perhaps bad vision in one of her eyes or having a bad knee or something similar to that.
Alright, I'm try to figure something out.
First off, what type of ailor is she? Ithanian, northerne, new ceardian, etc?
Alright.

I'll tag you when done.

Edit : Done :D @Nesstro
 
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Here is my review:
  • My one point is that your life story is a bit messy and is missing parts. You jump a fair bit around stating right off the bat that "From that day on, Mari looked up to violets and crimsons, even sparring with other children to 'train'. Her mother was somewhat disappointed, but her father was prideful. One day, a spar attracted a dog, and it attacked. Wanting to be a heroine, she bravely saved her friends, but ended up with injuries herself, giving a fear of dogs and embarrassment for failing on her terms." Where...does that come from? When was that, before she was born?
 
The most important point I have to make on this re-review is that you can't say say "Speak now or forever hold your peace, I am voiding everything." You need to reach out to all of these people individually and work out voiding events with them as applicable. The only true way to just get a clean slate is with a brand new character.

Regarding the content of the character:
  • The character sheet template was recently updated to exclude an exact pound weight in lieu of set classes of body builds. Remove the exact weight in pounds and replace with one of these playable body size classes: https://wiki.massivecraft.com/Character_Body_Build
  • Add a fourth weakness to balance your Expert Turall.
  • The Cardiovascular weakness needs to be rewritten. It is bad etiquette to assume that she will be able to end a fight quickly. It also needs a more specific trigger as to how long it takes her to get tired. Is it three attacks? Four? 2 minutes? What happens when she is exhausted? A complete halt to combat? or just some sort of degradation of her combat ability? Balance the amount of time it takes her to get tired with the severity of the consequence. Generally the more severe the consequence the longer you can take to get exhausted.
  • Swordplay strength needs to be rewritten as well. You can't just assume victory in the very essence of the strength. You can be very good at something, but don't imply that you just beat everyone with ease.
Make some edits an then tag me @TheOverseer__
 
The most important point I have to make on this re-review is that you can't say say "Speak now or forever hold your peace, I am voiding everything." You need to reach out to all of these people individually and work out voiding events with them as applicable. The only true way to just get a clean slate is with a brand new character.

Regarding the content of the character:
  • The character sheet template was recently updated to exclude an exact pound weight in lieu of set classes of body builds. Remove the exact weight in pounds and replace with one of these playable body size classes: https://wiki.massivecraft.com/Character_Body_Build
  • Add a fourth weakness to balance your Expert Turall.
  • The Cardiovascular weakness needs to be rewritten. It is bad etiquette to assume that she will be able to end a fight quickly. It also needs a more specific trigger as to how long it takes her to get tired. Is it three attacks? Four? 2 minutes? What happens when she is exhausted? A complete halt to combat? or just some sort of degradation of her combat ability? Balance the amount of time it takes her to get tired with the severity of the consequence. Generally the more severe the consequence the longer you can take to get exhausted.
  • Swordplay strength needs to be rewritten as well. You can't just assume victory in the very essence of the strength. You can be very good at something, but don't imply that you just beat everyone with ease.
Make some edits an then tag me @TheOverseer__
I... Don't think she can get Expert Turall as a permission.
https://wiki.massivecraft.com/School_of_Turall
https://gyazo.com/baa0d4a63fce064fa989055d8c676caa
200_s.gif
 
The most important point I have to make on this re-review is that you can't say say "Speak now or forever hold your peace, I am voiding everything." You need to reach out to all of these people individually and work out voiding events with them as applicable. The only true way to just get a clean slate is with a brand new character.
Oh, I actually did.
The character sheet template was recently updated to exclude an exact pound weight in lieu of set classes of body builds. Remove the exact weight in pounds and replace with one of these playable body size classes: https://wiki.massivecraft.com/Character_Body_Build
Oh sweet.
 
The most important point I have to make on this re-review is that you can't say say "Speak now or forever hold your peace, I am voiding everything." You need to reach out to all of these people individually and work out voiding events with them as applicable. The only true way to just get a clean slate is with a brand new character.

Regarding the content of the character:
  • The character sheet template was recently updated to exclude an exact pound weight in lieu of set classes of body builds. Remove the exact weight in pounds and replace with one of these playable body size classes: https://wiki.massivecraft.com/Character_Body_Build
  • Add a fourth weakness to balance your Expert Turall.
  • The Cardiovascular weakness needs to be rewritten. It is bad etiquette to assume that she will be able to end a fight quickly. It also needs a more specific trigger as to how long it takes her to get tired. Is it three attacks? Four? 2 minutes? What happens when she is exhausted? A complete halt to combat? or just some sort of degradation of her combat ability? Balance the amount of time it takes her to get tired with the severity of the consequence. Generally the more severe the consequence the longer you can take to get exhausted.
  • Swordplay strength needs to be rewritten as well. You can't just assume victory in the very essence of the strength. You can be very good at something, but don't imply that you just beat everyone with ease.
Make some edits an then tag me @TheOverseer__
@TheOverseer__
 
baa0d4a63fce064fa989055d8c676caa.png
Only way she could be a Turall fighter is via a private tutor. So learning at the school wouldn't be possible. Hopefully this helps out the review and clears up any issues :)
 
So do I just change it to Warrior and shorten the years a bit?

Also, I applied for weapons permit after the law change. Will this permit be usable?
 
Continued review:
  • Yeah private tutor can only reach Warrior, so do downgrade that and change source to private tutor. Update all references in the life story to actually attending the school.
  • Weapon permits are only granted IC through the high constable, which is currently William Coen.
  • The stamina weakness is still really iffy. It basically only weakens you in combat if you are double teamed. You still need to update this to an effective combat weakness that is likely to come up in RP.
  • Selfish has the exact same consequences as arrogant, replace this with another one, still. I feel even with your character downgraded to warrior, you still are fairly OP so a 4th weakness is still called for.
  • On a final note, I reached out to several people on your list of voids and none of them have heard from you. So there is no confusion, I am actually going to delete the post suggesting all those relationships are voided and any conversation surrounding it. You need to work it out with those people individually.
Make some more edits and then tag me @TheOverseer__
 
It basically only weakens you in combat if you are double teamed. You still need to update this to an effective combat weakness that is likely to come up in RP.
Oh uh, I meant to write it as it weakens her normally but if there were more it multiplied the speed she loses energy?... It still works if there's only one or under people, like running and stuff.
  • Selfish has the exact same consequences as arrogant, replace this with another one, still. I feel even with your character downgraded to warrior, you still are fairly OP so a 4th weakness is still called for.
Yeah, okay.
On a final note, I reached out to several people on your list of voids and none of them have heard from you. So there is no confusion, I am actually going to delete the post suggesting all those relationships are voided and any conversation surrounding it. You need to work it out with those people individually.
That was the list of people that wouldn't be voided.
A
Continued review:
  • Yeah private tutor can only reach Warrior, so do downgrade that and change source to private tutor. Update all references in the life story to actually attending the school.
  • Weapon permits are only granted IC through the high constable, which is currently William Coen.
  • The stamina weakness is still really iffy. It basically only weakens you in combat if you are double teamed. You still need to update this to an effective combat weakness that is likely to come up in RP.
  • Selfish has the exact same consequences as arrogant, replace this with another one, still. I feel even with your character downgraded to warrior, you still are fairly OP so a 4th weakness is still called for.
  • On a final note, I reached out to several people on your list of voids and none of them have heard from you. So there is no confusion, I am actually going to delete the post suggesting all those relationships are voided and any conversation surrounding it. You need to work it out with those people individually.
Make some more edits and then tag me @TheOverseer__
ight, working on edits!
 
  • On a final note, I reached out to several people on your list of voids and none of them have heard from you. So there is no confusion, I am actually going to delete the post suggesting all those relationships are voided and any conversation surrounding it. You need to work it out with those people individually.
Oh shoot, uh...
Could you give me a list of everyone you talked to? Because along witht he above message, I really need to make sure those guys don't void the relationship due to major plot and political issues + marriage + guard development coming up.
 
No the conversation was "Nothing is voided, right?" and they agreed. There is no danger of anything being voided inadvertently. Tag me once the other edits are made.
 
Continued review:
  • Yeah private tutor can only reach Warrior, so do downgrade that and change source to private tutor. Update all references in the life story to actually attending the school.
  • Weapon permits are only granted IC through the high constable, which is currently William Coen.
  • The stamina weakness is still really iffy. It basically only weakens you in combat if you are double teamed. You still need to update this to an effective combat weakness that is likely to come up in RP.
  • Selfish has the exact same consequences as arrogant, replace this with another one, still. I feel even with your character downgraded to warrior, you still are fairly OP so a 4th weakness is still called for.
  • On a final note, I reached out to several people on your list of voids and none of them have heard from you. So there is no confusion, I am actually going to delete the post suggesting all those relationships are voided and any conversation surrounding it. You need to work it out with those people individually.
Make some more edits and then tag me @TheOverseer__
@TheOverseer__
 
Continued review:
  • Still need to edit out that you attended the school of Turall. The school itself is male only. You'd have to learn from a private tutor.
  • Distracted is a fine weakness, but it lacks content, expand another 1-2 sentences and tell me more about how it specifically effects her.
Tag me after edits.
 
Continued review:
  • Still need to edit out that you attended the school of Turall. The school itself is male only. You'd have to learn from a private tutor.
  • Distracted is a fine weakness, but it lacks content, expand another 1-2 sentences and tell me more about how it specifically effects her.
Tag me after edits.
Edits made. @TheOverseer__
 
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ohHHH
I thought you meant the life story.
 
Looks good to approve.

I do leave you with a quick note for applying the combo of fencing and Turall fighting in RP: Knowing both wouldn't actually enhance her ability in any particular way while she is using one style of the other. So if she was fighting another warrior level Turall, she would have no particular advantage over them, it would basically be a dead even fight at least in terms of blade skill.
 
Looks good to approve.

I do leave you with a quick note for applying the combo of fencing and Turall fighting in RP: Knowing both wouldn't actually enhance her ability in any particular way while she is using one style of the other. So if she was fighting another warrior level Turall, she would have no particular advantage over them, it would basically be a dead even fight at least in terms of blade skill.
Yeah, I applied for fencing for tourneys and to add to her Dressolinian culture

Thank you so much!
 
Major edits coming soon.
 
Major edits coming soon.
Requesting re-approval. Seeing as that my old reviewer is no longer staff, I will simply bump the thread.
Changes made -
Grammar mistakes
Strengths and Weaknesses
Backstory
Age
Changed all Turall and speed related aspects of her life into Jeannarc and strength.
 
Requesting re-approval. Seeing as that my old reviewer is no longer staff, I will simply bump the thread.
Changes made -
Grammar mistakes
Strengths and Weaknesses
Backstory
Age
Changed all Turall and speed related aspects of her life into Jeannarc and strength.
Claimed for Staff Review.
 
Review from LumosJared:

I love personal weapons! Go into some detail on Taglient, what it's made of, personal effects, etc. I think the relationship she has to her weapon, given her pride in her school and ability, can be something that can be explored further.

I think when she does "crack" her honour code should be examined, and perhaps shaped by those around her. When she has that true perspective shattering realization about what is "good" and what is "evil", that will be a pivotal moment for the character.

I like her views on Unionism. I'd go so far as to say whatever else she believes, she always thinks Unionism is the most important code to follow, though the specifics on how she follows it may change. A sort of rock in her life. Expand on that idea, in religion.

Weaknesses are good, though stamina is rarely played out ic. I would suggest she can't run or chase very well at all, and a few minutes into combat rp, if it drags on, needs to do a roll to not say, allow the enemy to make several offensive moves before she. Something to that effect.

I think, upon returning to Regalaia she may want to create her own group, her own people to hold to a code. She's dissatisfied with her father's execution, and Frederick, so why not have her organize those women in the city who are also of Jeannarc? As a Champion, perhaps one day a Grandmaster, she strives to lead them as the representation of the Order within the capital of the Regalian Empire. Getting the other Jeannarc's together, doing lil' events, and putting them to a code she can feel proud of, would be a wonderful direction to take this well-written character.

Tag me when you're done. @IndigoIvy
 
@LumosJared
I love personal weapons! Go into some detail on Taglient, what it's made of, personal effects, etc. I think the relationship she has to her weapon, given her pride in her school and ability, can be something that can be explored further.
Edited, in blue.
I think when she does "crack" her honour code should be examined, and perhaps shaped by those around her. When she has that true perspective shattering realization about what is "good" and what is "evil", that will be a pivotal moment for the character.
Thank you! She hasn't cracked quite yet, as I want to enjoy playing a sane character for a little bit more, and it needs one last final push for this to happen.
I like her views on Unionism. I'd go so far as to say whatever else she believes, she always thinks Unionism is the most important code to follow, though the specifics on how she follows it may change. A sort of rock in her life. Expand on that idea, in religion.
Done.
Weaknesses are good, though stamina is rarely played out ic. I would suggest she can't run or chase very well at all, and a few minutes into combat rp, if it drags on, needs to do a roll to not say, allow the enemy to make several offensive moves before she. Something to that effect.
Done.
I think, upon returning to Regalaia she may want to create her own group, her own people to hold to a code. She's dissatisfied with her father's execution, and Frederick, so why not have her organize those women in the city who are also of Jeannarc? As a Champion, perhaps one day a Grandmaster, she strives to lead them as the representation of the Order within the capital of the Regalian Empire. Getting the other Jeannarc's together, doing lil' events, and putting them to a code she can feel proud of, would be a wonderful direction to take this well-written character.
^^^ Ingenious idea. I'll get to this, but I've applied for trustee and due to issues with recent nobility and guard changes, I will probably start this later.