Love, Does It Exist?

[Rip Shoul]

It's a relatively simple question: Does love exist? (It doesn't have to be romantic love.)

I personally am confused and so don't have a solid opinion on either. I do believe that people experience a strong desire/like for someone, but I don't think that it is necessarily out of their control. Take for an example divorce. Did love just run out for those who get divorces? Or did they "choose" to stop loving them (keep in mind, I mean no offence to anyone who may have gone through a divorce of their parents or friends). Is love like any other emotion? Why is it so commonly thought to be the "all powerful" force of the universe? If love doesn't exist, then why do people get so angry about it?

(Note: Love sometimes has religious connotations. I would be interested in hearing your religious opinions on love, but be careful to not violate the rules. The rules are somewhat unclear on what is religious or offensive, so lean to the side of caution when posting.)

 

[Film_Noir]

On romantic love...

I probably think of it as a combination of two things: first, there's the biological urge in living species as a whole to find mates and reproduce. Hormones going crazy, in-built drive to carry on the species, and all of that. Second, there's something else, maybe tied in with the whole "find a mate" thing, but perhaps on a higher level in humans since we have quite developed brains, in that I specifically want to hang out with someone who is "like-spirited/-minded"...someone who is fun and truly enjoyable to be with...maybe this is the bit that I'd call love.

 

[krios41]

-snip-

Click to shrink...

i wouldn't be able to explain it better. completly agree

 

[Rip Shoul]

@Film_Noir

Mm, but then why does love occur in relationships that are not reproduction orientated (for instance, between a person who is sterile or terminally ill)? Also, there are relationships between people who are almost opposites of each other, and yet they have sincere "love" for each other. Thoughts?

 

[Shayin]

Shayin love Flower,
Flower love Shayin,
Love is real.

 

[Sven_Tu]

Yes, love exists but I think people's ideas about love (and life in general) is incredibly screwed up by popular media. There's no such thing as perfect love or a fairy-tale love because that's what that is, a fairy-tale. It's ridiculous to think there would never be problems in any type of relationship, no matter how compatible people are. In reality, love and life means fighting and struggling, making sacrifices, and working together in order to get that sense of joy and comfort.

Mating and reproduction isn't the only force behind love. Humans are social creatures. It's only natural that we would want to spend time with others. It's natural to even go as far as spending significant time with significant others.

Marriage and divorce is a little complicated since there's so much more factors than love involved. I have a hard time thinking about this because I can't really define 'love'. Relationships need work to maintain themselves. If a divorce is the ending of such work, does that mean that love is defined by commitment? Is there a difference between love and commitment? I feel that in reality there is no such thing as perfect or even eternal love, but does that mean one should expect to run out at some point? Maybe I'm wrong. There are people who have been 'happily' married for a lifetime. Perhaps these people are the exception to the rule, or they're doing something right, or they had very high compatibility.

On the topic of marriage and biology, I'd like to point out that many things we talk about are culturally defined as opposed to natural. Marriage, monogamy, the idea of one true love, and so on. Not saying that it isn't natural, just want people to keep in mind that 'normal' is defined by society.

 

[Kikopuz]

I don't understand the question. Why would love differ from any other emotion? I love, so love exists. Just like any other emotion.

 

[Sarge_Peppers]

I find love to be kind of a narcissistic trait. People believe that if they give love then it should be returned, or they feel that they deserve to be love. I find it hard to find an example of someone who loves unconditionally and wishes nothing in return. If we look at Elliot Rodgers. We can see obvious signs of it. He expected love from girls when he put nothing really into it (other than buying stupidly expensive things). However, one could make a case that love between family members is unconditional. Is it? Puppies often have to fight for their mother's tit. Siblings often war and hold grudges because of "special treatment". To really sum it up. No I do not believe love is a real emotion.

 

[Kikopuz]

I find love to be kind of a narcissistic trait. People believe that if they give love then it should be returned, or they feel that they deserve to be love. I find it hard to find an example of someone who loves unconditionally and wishes nothing in return. If we look at Elliot Rodgers. We can see obvious signs of it. He expected love from girls when he put nothing really into it (other than buying stupidly expensive things). However, one could make a case that love between family members is unconditional. Is it? Puppies often have to fight for their mother's tit. Siblings often war and hold grudges because of "special treatment". To really sum it up. No I do not believe love is a real emotion.

Click to shrink...

Lol a narcissistic MassiveTrait? -10 Love

All joking aside. You say it's not a real emotion? Why does love have to be unconditional for you to consider it a real emotion? I don't believe in unconditional love, as it would prove the existence of altruism (well sort of). Which is total nonsense imo, and it's got a lot to do with this discussion. I don't believe in any unconditional emotion.

I've been with my girlfriend for over four years and we've made it perfectly clear that if either of us cheats on the other (=condition) we would break up. So our love is conditional. That doesn't mean we don't love each other or that our love isn't real. Better yet, it's because of our love that we don't want the other to cheat or do something stupid. It would be really weird if our love was unconditional and that we could do whatever we want, no matter the consequences, because there wouldn't be any consequences. It doesn't make sense from a psychological, philosophical, biological, neurological, sociological or any other logical point of view.

People always expect something in return when it comes to love. They don't say "Marriage is compromise" for nothing. It's always been giving and taking. Even new mommies are 'taking' (as in receiving love or some other reward) when they feed or take care of their newborn. Even if the baby doesn't 'give' directly, (healthy) parents are hard-wired to feel good about themselves when they take good care of their baby. Without that reward babies wouldn't survive this cruel world. You can hardly call that unconditional love.

Much love,
Kiko

 

[Sarge_Peppers]

Lol a narcissistic MassiveTrait? -10 Love

All joking aside. You say it's not a real emotion? Why does love have to be unconditional for you to consider it a real emotion? I don't believe in unconditional love, as it would prove the existence of altruism (well sort of). Which is total nonsense imo, and it's got a lot to do with this discussion. I don't believe in any unconditional emotion.

I've been with my girlfriend for over four years and we've made it perfectly clear that if either of us cheats on the other (=condition) we would break up. So our love is conditional. That doesn't mean we don't love each other or that our love isn't real. Better yet, it's because of our love that we don't want the other to cheat or do something stupid. It would be really weird if our love was unconditional and that we could do whatever we want, no matter the consequences, because there wouldn't be any consequences. It doesn't make sense from a psychological, philosophical, biological, neurological, sociological or any other logical point of view.

People always expect something in return when it comes to love. They don't say "Marriage is compromise" for nothing. It's always been giving and taking. Even new mommies are 'taking' (as in receiving love or some other reward) when they feed or take care of their newborn. Even if the baby doesn't 'give' directly, (healthy) parents are hard-wired to feel good about themselves when they take good care of their baby. Without that reward babies wouldn't survive this cruel world. You can hardly call that unconditional love.

Much love,
Kiko

Click to shrink...

I think you missed the real idea behind my post. Love is something most of us expect to reciprocate. We expect that if we love someone that they shall love us back. So if we expect reciprocation then is it really an emotion. An emotion is something we feel. I can feel sad, and I can feel happy. However can you feel love if you do not feel loved?

 

[FCCarnilord]

Love is fickle.

 

[Shoyru]

It is possible to feel love if you do not feel loved, I think. But would someone call it love? Perhaps. They might not know that it's love, but they will feel something that is similar or equivalent to love. The majority of people feel love, whether it be for their family, their friends, or their significant other.

As Sven Tu said, relationships require both parties to work together. A healthy relationship is composed of two people who not only love each other, but have the ability to work together to solve their own issues and issues between them. This is what makes a good relationship just that. Divorce, on the other hand, can be caused by the opposite. The couple's dynamic might not be good, although they love each other. Some relationships just don't work out, and that happens. It can also be caused by both people feeling that they might be better off without each other, so they divorce, or they might not love each other anymore. Marriage is created by love, lust, or arrangement. Divorce, on the other hand, is created by a multitude of things.

Going back to the feeling love thing... It also depends on the definition of love. The act of loving someone...what does love mean to the person who does not know what they feel is love? Perhaps love is what we term the biological "feeling" of wanting to be with someone. Perhaps love (in terms of people-people) is the term for, "the feeling for someone which if they were at risk for something, you would do everything in your power to stop them from being hurt." But I myself try to stop people from getting hurt, even if I don't love them. So really, it all depends, again, on the definition of love.

Unreciprocated love is also love in a way, but even though it's one-sided, it can still hurt both parties involved. Some people, like myself, don't expect reciprocation. It would be very nice if it was reciprocated, but some people don't expect it back. Just seeing the person happy makes the other happy. This answer is probably 100% biased, however.

I think love between friends is real. There are people in this world that you can't stand the idea of seeing hurt. Perhaps love, in this sense, is not wanting to see someone hurt, especially emotionally. With those that you may not love, perhaps you may not want to see them hurt or you don't care. But with friends, you really don't want to see that happen. In this sense, love may mean something else, like extreme care for them, so much so that you would risk your life for them. Again, though, some people can apply that definition to regular people around them.

I don't have a definition of love for myself. I just know what is love and what isn't. It's more of something that you get the feel of, in my opinion (pardon the pun). The definition of love depends on who you are asking, ultimately. There is no universal definition for love. It means something different to everyone, which is really beautiful about love.

 

[Kikopuz]

I think you missed the real idea behind my post. Love is something most of us expect to reciprocate. We expect that if we love someone that they shall love us back. So if we expect reciprocation then is it really an emotion. An emotion is something we feel. I can feel sad, and I can feel happy. However can you feel love if you do not feel loved?

Click to shrink...

I can't feel sad when there is nothing to be sad about. I can't feel happy when there is nothing to be happy about. But that doesn't mean sadness and happiness aren't real emotions. It just depends on certain conditions or events to trigger such emotions. What makes you feel happy, sad or loved? It can be anything. But like Shoyru here said, it depends on the definition of love. If you think love isn't a real emotion because you think people always expect to be loved in return, then in your world love doesn't exist. To me, love exists because I can feel it just like any other emotion.

 

[The Genie]

I believe that love is just a bunch of chemicals and hormones caused by nature's way of keeping a species alive.

 

[Neon_57]

Threw my eyes yes, love does truly exist but threw my eyes its not as much work as you all make it to be, it's not Give the take. It's when you find that one person who's so much like you, they think almost the very same. It's not full of work becuase the two people litterly are perfect for each other. It's not complicated, its simple its not a chemical reaction, like what "The Genie" says, it truly is an emotion but for a lot of people like other emotions some just block it out.

 

[Billy_Rage]

Shayin love Flower,
Flower love Shayin,
Love is real.

Click to shrink...

That is not taking into account that he can pretty much force plants to love him.

 

[Shayin]

Locking because of Necro.