Preserved Sheet Karsten Handelsbinder

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Zombiel3ait

Wolf of the Veer
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Karsten-Ludger Handelsbinder
von
Niederzielenwald


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Basic Information

  • Full Name: Karsten-Ludger Handelsbinder von Niederzielenwald [Karsten-Ludger Handelsbinder or Karsten Handelsbinder for short]
  • Age: 33
  • Gender: Male
  • Race: Calderliga Ailor, Lexxon Lineage

Basic Information (Expansion)

  • Karsten Handelsbinder is the son of Nikolaus Handelsbinder. The thirty-three year old has come to Regalia from Calderliga to study more in the Capital. He is currently a professor of basic Regalian military tactics, culture and diplomatic studies. The man also desires to unite his people, the people of Calderriga.
  • Karsten Handelsbinder was born to Nikolaus Handelsbinder and Kathe 'Forst' Handelsbinder in 280 A.C. At the time, his parents were married but shortly after his birth, they became distant. Luther was raised by his father, though, in a stricter fashion then the rest of House Handelsbinder in his younger years, eventually receiving a education from his mother, who ran the University of Niederzielenwald. He is as a result, very proper, respectful and disciplined, but also timid, and shy. This is where he gain's his love of teaching and learning. The man, now thirty-three, still studies, but also teaches courses as a professor, now in Regalia to offer courses as he opens a branch of the University of Niederzielenwald in the capital.
  • Karsten desires to feel a sense of acceptance among his peers, perhaps from a group, or even an individual.


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Skill Information
Total Points: 58 Points (38 Proficiency Points | 10 Talent Points | 10 Hobby Points)
  • Proficiency
    • +8 Perception Training (8 From Proficency Points)
  • Talent
    • +5 General Command (5 From Talent Points)
    • +5 Siege Command (5 From Talent Points)
  • Hobby
    • +15 Pathfinding Art (5 From Hobby Points | 10 From Proficency Points)
    • +15 Fortification Art (5 From Hobby Points | 10 From Proficency Points)
    • +10 Theater Art (10 From Proficency Points)

Body Shape and Strength

  • Average Strength / Physical Stat (12.5 points)
  • Average Body Shape
  • Average Body Fat
Languages
  • Common
  • Alt-Regalian (From Home Culture and Parents)
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Visual Information

  • Eye Color: Turquoise Blue
  • Hair Color: Ink Black
  • Hair Style: Medium length, straight either cut, medium to jaw line, or in a man-bun; Beard.
  • Skin Color: Peachy Calderligan Pale
  • Clothing: Well fitted Calderligan Noble wears, scarf, shoulder cap or heavy fine woolen coat.
  • Height: 6'6"
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Visual Information (Expansion)



  • Medium length, jet black straight hair. Tortoise Blue eyes, peachy pale Calderligan skin tone on face, no scars, clean shave.
  • Karsten is a well feed and trained toned Calderligan. He stands at 6'6", always being rather tall for his age, though thin to average. Nikolaus, his father and a former Viridan, would drill him nearly every other day, making him a well self disciplined man. He weights around 189 pounds.
  • Karsten wears well fitting Calderligan wears, though remodeled to a noble style typical of Handelsbinder. He carries a scarf around his neck, a gift from his mother when he was young and the outfit tends to be a black-blue rather then the main family lines brighter blue color, though both have golden detailing.
  • His voice is soothing, slightly deep, but not thundering, rather relaxed.


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Personality and Abilities
Option One: The Question List
  • How would your character express Happiness and Contentedness?
    • Answer: Depending on the type of happiness and those around him, quite differently. Contentedness would be a calm relaxed expression, though can often be laconic in nature. Personal happiness is met with a smile, perhaps even a good laugh. Public happiness is met with a light grin, nod, or a thanks.
  • How would your character respond to experiencing Fear?
    • Answer: I'll break this down as fear is broad. Fear of death: would acknowledge the danger, display instinctive reactions, though relatively is levelheaded. He does not want to die, but lacks a fear of it though will actively seek to avoid the fire for example if it is spreading. Fear of something, such as heights or a wolf are similar to his general lack of fear to death. He does however hold a personal fear of personal connections All connections to him should be laconic persay, and not involve emotion because he ultimately fears his own thoughts. It should be said though jump scares will still startle him, he is not scare proof.
  • How would your character respond to experiencing Stress?
    • Answer: Does well under stress, as he is use to doing things on his own, though the stress of this lone lifestyle does stress him out mentally, and if can lead to restlessness, existential dread, or rarely anger at the situation but never individuals.
  • How does your character view Law and Authorities?
    • Answer: Respectfully. They maintain civilized life and he holds respect for the law, authorities, and generally civil structure, having a profound grasp on the development of it over many generations to what it is.
  • How does your character feel about Races other than their own?
    • Answer: No good will, no ill will for other races. They simply are, though in the way, they will be dealt with in a manner that is less regarding of them as equal then how he'd deal with other ailor. One on one, he cares little for other races, and has no vendetta against them, though generally finds them a societal bother that should conform and self educate to Regalian societal norms.
  • How does your character feel about Religion for themselves, and other faiths?
    • Answer: He has grown up with Unionism and is a strong, faithful unionist that prays often, attending church. As with race, he cares little for others faith so long as they don't state it as superior to Unionism. What happens at home stays at home. In public, Unionism is the faith.
  • How does your character feel about the Arcane and Magical in the world?
    • Answer: It's mysterious and odd, dangerous and lacking honor. The use of education and the mind is the true source of innovative power, not magic. He finds it rather beneath humanity unless it is part of Unionism.
  • How does your character feel towards their family?
    • Answer: Karsten comes from a family rooted in Calderliga, consisting of guildmasters and businessmen or diplomats. Their involvement in public works and social projects gives Luther a sense of pride for his family, and his home, the only emotional connection he really holds without fear. He follows the educational and tactical studies of his family.
  • What is your character the most proud of about themselves?
    • Answer: Having partaken in many social projects to educate his people, with a vision to unite them under the families rule. This was Luther's testing grounds as a tactician and cultural negotiator. He learned much under his families diplomats, though seeks to apply his family taught skills further. Also holds being a philosopher as a point of pride.
  • What motivates your character to move forward and better their life?
    • Answer: Those around him. Mainly his family and people of Calderliga. After his home became free centuries ago, he seeks to unite it under his families rule, having sought to educate the next generation as a professor, while also training local armies and officers in tactics and encouraging diplomacy. He feels a sense of patriotism and duty, but most of all belonging to these people. His purpose is to teach and pass on what he knows, while doing what he can currently.
  • What is your character's biggest insecurity?
    • Answer: That he may not live up to his predecessors of the Family, and his people. The burden of the task of his name is one he thinks about every day.
  • What is your character's biggest fear?
    • Answer: Failure, to be certain. The unnecessary death of those under his charge. He holds guilt for such, and failing as a leader ultimately is his biggest fear. Responsibility or excessive responsibility is also part to play.
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Weakness, Likes and Dislikes

  • Seasickness - Karsten is easily sea sickened. The boy never could stomach a boat ride. Getting to Regalia was one of the worst trips in his life. He was unable to down a meal the whole trip over from Calderliga.
  • Snarky - Karsten occasionally has trouble keeping his comments to himself, having often spoken out his thoughts when pressured by others. For example, a certain inspector general has occasionally pushed his buttons with shade, in which, he responds, with shade.
  • Back/Neck Pains - Being rather tall, Karsten experiences a small variety of back, joint, and neck pains. From his knees cramping to his back and neck stiffing. The world wasn't built for the minority of tall folk, and so neither was his body to compensate.
  • Near-Sighted - Though Karsten hasn't told anyone, he's seen a few healers about the fact that signs farther away are harder to read. This is a result of his near-sighted vision, though in his right eye, it is much more noticeable then his left, for him, it does effect both. He currently has a pair of glass that were custom made, but rarely wears it out of embarrassment. He's already an intellectual, he'd rather not look it too.



  • Free Willed People - Those that enjoy being more free and loving of life tend to get Karsten's attention. Though he rarely will show this, he almost envy's them, or desires to associate with them, as his strict upbringing has him longing for more.
  • Coffee/Kaffee - As comes with most Handelsbinder, Karsten is just another one of them that loves coffee. It seems to be an addiction at this point. He learned about the wonderful drink from his mother, and can often been seen offering, brewing, or drinking a cup.
  • Fresh Air - Growing up in Calderliga, Luther has lived a lot of his life near nature and open areas. City life hasn't really done him wonders and he despises such, so when he can, open parks or fields are wonderful to get a good fresh breath of air.



  • The City - Dirty, nasty, crowded, smelly urban centers. Karsten holds no desires for life solely in the capital. Growing up in Calderliga, Karsten is not fond to such an environment, and so he struggles to feel comfortable, regularly going outside the city or to the park.
  • Sea Travel - Possessing a weak stomach for motion, Karsten feels strong dislike for sea travel, loosing the contents of his stomach while traveling by sea often. He'd only do so out of absolute necessity.
  • Instigation - The young lad has a temper in terms of those who attempt to instigate and start arguments. This causing him to become snarky and retaliate without realizing. usually, only one close to him, family, or man friends could stop such before rational thought takes over.

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Nikolaus Handelsbinder - Father, respected, tough, complicated, too strict.

Kathe Forst Handelsbinder - Mother, occasionally kind, stoic, very intelligent, just as respected and complicated as his father.

[TBA]

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Life Story

Karsten was born in 281 A.C to Nikolaus Handelsbinder and Kathe 'Forst' Handelsbinder in the family's home estate, in Niederzielenwald, Calderliga. The young boy was tossed into a life of parental chaos as his parents always argued their conflicting views. Eventually, they became very distant, remaining married however as law dictated. Kathe ran the University of Niederzielenwald while Nikolaus was a Viridian Knight, known as the Knight of Discipline, for his tough and drilling nature, serving the Regalian Army.

As Karsten grew up, he learnt to keep in noise in books and studies of cultures to feel at ease with the negative situation between his parents. His curiosity drew him to study societal structures to better communicate with and mediate between people through diplomatic means, hoping that this could be use to one day stop the miscommunication between his parents, though as he grew, this became a passion. He'd be trained by his father in military studies, and tutored by his mother in academics, raised linguistically on Alt-Regalian and Common. The young boy even came up with a method of silent communication in the form of taking basic military hand gestures and elaborating upon it to form a sighing language, only showing a few trusted peers. Soon, Karsten soon received schooling in Statesmanship upon his visit to Regalian, in which he was awed by how a statesman runs a society and aims to better their people, all this while his father had motioned for him to take a career in the military. He enjoyed the study of new and though up tactics that would go beyond that of a normal modern strategy, but found his love for academics and management to be his true pride and joy. He had a knack for logistics of supplies but mostly culture and how to understand different ones, using his academic prowess to excel in the endeavor. Eventually, he returned to become a student at his mothers university before moving to Regalia with his father to open up a branch in Regalia, and start teaching courses and even beginning lectures.

At this point in Life, Karsten is rather content except on the note that for all his skills and knowledge, he's yet to feel he has fit in to anywhere in particular, seeking to find or make his place among his people, make connections though such personally seems frightening to him, diplomatic connections are on the other hand no issue. Only time would tell if he can apply his skills. As for now, he desires to see if he could act as a leader to the people of Calderliga, however possible, and guide them into the future. His inspiration comes from the knightly values and honor of his family, the education rich mindset of his people and the diplomacy used by his famous ancestor Bartholomäus-Gottfried Handelsbinder von Niederzielenwald prior that defended Calderliga from the Skagger Hordes, though in his own way with a hybrid of such and higher moral values.


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I hereby claim this application!
You shall have your review once I can get to it.
 
Hello hello! I will be doing a character review today for Luther. Remember that everything I'm criticizing is made to help you improve, but not to discourage you!

  • Height: 6"6'
  • Body Build: Athletic
As a beginning note, it should be #'#" rather than the backwards #"#'. As a secondary note, this is awfully tall of a figure to be in the Turall school. They're made to be very agile individuals, and being bigger means that it'll be harder to be that way since they have more weight to deal with. As a third note, although 'Athletic' is acceptable, keep in mind that it will mean he has high endurance, but lesser strength in comparison to his fellow classmates and opponents that may be 'Ripped' and above.
Weapon of Choice: Duel-Welding Swords {Turall Blade School}
Do you mean arming swords? He will be unable to use weapons any larger than two arming swords. The body build he currently has will also slow him down with these weapons since he is using two 'larger' weapons with lesser levels of might.
  • First Paragraph: Luther is often perceived as a respectful and approachable figure, one with respect and military discipline, but also a for gullible side hidden beneath the surface.
  • Second Paragraph: Luther sees himself as one who lacks connection, friends or lovers. He has felt a sense of never fitting in, even though this never shines through, and he can mistakenly appear confident.
  • Third Paragraph: To family, Luther is very supporting, loving, caring and respectful. he loves his extended family, though holds a stubborn respect for his father, without really showing him emotion, for his father never shows him any, always being stern. To friends, he always shows similar to that of family after gaining their trust, and vise versa.
  • Fourth Paragraph: Luther is generally a morally good person, but will stay neutral if common sense dictates that action be detrimental to himself or those he cares for.
A paragraph is not one to two sentences in length. Paragraphs tend to be at least six to eight. With what you have given me, I see nothing in or about him that I can latch onto aside from 'he is a handsome, do-good intellectual warrior'. Being loving, caring, respectful, supporting, approachable and completely devoid of connection at the same time means this entire section here contradicts itself.
Weaknesses (OPTIONAL)
  • Seasickness - Luther is easily sea sickened. The boy never could stomach a boat ride. Getting to Regalia was one of the worst trips in his life. He was unable to down a meal the whole trip over from Anglica.
  • Snarky - Luther occasionally has trouble keeping his comments to himself, having often spoken out his thoughts when pressured by others. For example, a certain inspector general has occasionally pushed his buttons with shade, in which, he responds, with shade.
Since he is intellectual, tactical and great with a weapon, I will have to ask you to add a proper weakness. 'Seasickness' and 'Snarky' are both cop-outs, as one is a personality trait, and the other will never be used in RP, and in some cases, will never be properly applied in any situation. Not only this, but with military tactical skill, he will be unable to become 'Ripped' or pass beyond the 'Fighter' level of Turall due to the required upkeep for it.
Likes
  • Free Willed People - Those that enjoy being more free and loving of life tend to get Luther's attention. Though he rarely will show this, he almost envy's them, or desires to associate with them, as his strict upbringing has him longing for more.
  • Coffee - As comes with most Artiemus, Luther is just another one of them that loves coffee. It seems to be an addiction at this point. He learned about the wonderful drink from his cousin Theodore, and can often been seen offering, brewing, or drinking a cup.
  • Fresh Air - Growing up in Altenburg, near Anglica, Luther has lived a lot of his life near nature and open areas. City life hasn't really done him wonders and he despises such, so when he can, open parks or fields are wonderful to get a good fresh breath of air.
Dislikes
  • The City - Dirty, nasty, crowded, smelly urban centers. Luther Hates it with a capital H. Growing up in Altenburg, near Anglica, Luther simply is unadapted to such an environment, and so he struggles to feel comfortable, regularly going outside the city or to the park.
  • Sea Travel - Possessing a weak stomach for motion, Luther feels strong dislike for sea travel, loosing the contents of his stomach while traveling by sea often. He'd only do so out of absolute necessity.
  • Instigation - The young lad has a temper in terms of those who attempt to instigate and start arguments. This causing him to become snarky and retaliate without realizing. usually, only one close to him, family, or man friends could stop such before rational thought takes over.
Please put this in a spoiler. It makes the application larger than it should be and detracts me from seeing bigger, better things about him.
Luther Artiemus was born in 280 A.C to Nikolaus Artiemus and Kathe 'Forst' Artiemus in Altenburg, just south of Anglica. The young boy was tossed into a life of parental chaos as his parents always argued. Eventually, they became very distant, remaining married however as law dictated. Kathe ran her university in Altenburg while Nikolaus was a military officer in the Regalian Army.

As Luther grew up, he was trained by his father in military studies, and tutored by his mother in academics, leaning to speak D'Ithanian as his first non-mother tongued language, already being raised on Alt-Regalian and Common. Soon, Luther attended the Turall Sword School as his father had prior, leaning to duel wield swords and fight effectively with such. Eventually, he returned to become a student as his mothers university before moving to Regalia with his father to open up a branch in the holy city, and start teaching courses from Military logistics to Academics and history.

At this point in Life, Luther is rather content except on the note that for all his skills and knowledge, he's yet to feel he has fit in to anywhere in particular, seeking to find his place, make friends, or more. Only time would tell.
You've hidden a strength in his life-story. It should be generally only accepted for someone to speak their home tongue, common, and rarely be able to read in one or the other at the maximum. By knowing three languages, you have essentially made him a linguist, which a swordsman would not be able to maintain due to his heavy work-out and fighting routine. Not only this, but he already should be pretty stacked up from having to learn from an academy, training, and maintaining his mind and body in the highest shape that he possibly can to prevent himself from degenerating these learned skills. All I am seeing is three paragraphs with minimal information other than 'he is in Turall, is smart, and has learned languages from his mother while the family was in chaos'. What's something significant that happened outside of all of his talents? Did he try and fail to pursue a creative path? Did he meet some girl that convinced him to stay in school rather than go full for Turall? Did he, as a child, always aspire to be a great hero that had a purpose among his soldiers? I'm looking for a personality and a life, but so far, you're only giving me his talents.
 
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Hello hello! I will be doing a character review today for Luther. Remember that everything I'm criticizing is made to help you improve, but not to discourage you!


As a beginning note, it should be #'#" rather than the backwards #"#'. As a secondary note, this is awfully tall of a figure to be in the Turall school. They're made to be very agile individuals, and being bigger means that it'll be harder to be that way since they have more weight to deal with. As a third note, although 'Athletic' is acceptable, keep in mind that it will mean he has high endurance, but lesser strength in comparison to his fellow classmates and opponents that may be 'Ripped' and above.

Do you mean arming swords? He will be unable to use weapons any larger than two arming swords. The body build he currently has will also slow him down with these weapons since he is using two 'larger' weapons with lesser levels of might.

A paragraph is not one to two sentences in length. Paragraphs tend to be at least six to eight. With what you have given me, I see nothing in or about him that I can latch onto aside from 'he is a handsome, do-good intellectual warrior'. Being loving, caring, respectful, supporting, approachable and completely devoid of connection at the same time means this entire section here contradicts itself.

Since he is intellectual, tactical and great with a weapon, I will have to ask you to add a proper weakness. 'Seasickness' and 'Snarky' are both cop-outs, as one is a personality trait, and the other will never be used in RP, and in some cases, will never be properly applied in any situation. Not only this, but with military tactical skill, he will be unable to become 'Ripped' or pass beyond the 'Fighter' level of Turall due to the required upkeep for it.

Please put this in a spoiler. It makes the application larger than it should be and detracts me from seeing bigger, better things about him.

You've hidden a strength in his life-story. It should be generally only accepted for someone to speak their home tongue, common, and rarely be able to read in one or the other at the maximum. By knowing three languages, you have essentially made him a linguist, which a swordsman would not be able to maintain due to his heavy work-out and fighting routine. Not only this, but he already should be pretty stacked up from having to learn from an academy, training, and maintaining his mind and body in the highest shape that he possibly can to prevent himself from degenerating these learned skills. All I am seeing is three paragraphs with minimal information other than 'he is in Turall, is smart, and has learned languages from his mother while the family was in chaos'. What's something significant that happened outside of all of his talents? Did he try and fail to pursue a creative path? Did he meet some girl that convinced him to stay in school rather than go full for Turall? Did he, as a child, always aspire to be a great hero that had a purpose among his soldiers? I'm looking for a personality and a life, but so far, you're only giving me his talents.

Overall, I will unfortunately have to reject him due to the sheer amount of edits I am asking you to make. Don't give up! You have a great structure, but you should try and use his strengths as accents rather than a definition for who Luther is as a person.

@Magivore
I must say, it has been over 8 months since I've done a character sheet, so I understand I've admittedly a LOT of work to do, though I feel a utter rejection simply shuns it away and doesn't allow me the opportunity to make the corrections you just recommended. I could easily do so in under an hour, tops. I'd ask if you'd be so kind as to open it for review and allow me a small window of time to make these edits, rather then just having me posting this again and making edits, having two threads. Though overall, I respect the decision.
 
@Magivore
I must say, it has been over 8 months since I've done a character sheet, so I understand I've admittedly a LOT of work to do, though I feel a utter rejection simply shuns it away and doesn't allow me the opportunity to make the corrections you just recommended. I could easily do so in under an hour, tops. I'd ask if you'd be so kind as to open it for review and allow me a small window of time to make these edits, rather then just having me posting this again and making edits, having two threads. Though overall, I respect the decision.
If you believe you can make these edits in a short time, go for it. I may have overestimated what is required, but it is still quite a bit to do. Nevertheless, it definitely does seem like you're confident in it and your writing ability does seem to support your statement. When you've made edits, tag me and make them in blue! Any and every detail counts.
 
If you believe you can make these edits in a short time, go for it. I may have overestimated what is required, but it is still quite a bit to do. Nevertheless, it definitely does seem like you're confident in it and your writing ability does seem to support your statement. When you've made edits, tag me and make them in blue! Any and every detail counts.
@Magivore
Done:P And Thank you for the second chance. Though I think I put the wrong blue.

Made edits to the optional section, to personality, Visual, changed his school to Leadership, added two more physical weaknesses, and justified his language ability, stating how the D'Ithaina is only just barely understandable, at an Intermediate level.

And fixed the height makes from 6"6' to 6'6" :P

Forgot to edit the Life-story, just did though, edits in blue.
 
Last edited:
@Magivore
Done:P And Thank you for the second chance. Though I think I put the wrong blue.

Made edits to the optional section, to personality, Visual, changed his school to Leadership, added two more physical weaknesses, and justified his language ability, stating how the D'Ithaina is only just barely understandable, at an Intermediate level.

And fixed the height makes from 6"6' to 6'6" :P

Forgot to edit the Life-story, just did though, edits in blue.
Only three minor edits I've got left to ask of you! Don't worry about the colour, I just have to be able to see you've made the edits without it being a buttery yellow.
  1. Please place his 'likes' and 'dislikes' into a spoiler.
  2. Be sure to include his Viridian skill in the 'Skills' section next to his Leadership capabilities (maximum may be 'Fighter')
  3. Remove all of his weaknesses except for 'Near-Sighted' if you don't feel they're necessary. Remember that being Near-Sighted means he will have a disadvantage against ranged attackers and environmental harm!
 
Only three minor edits I've got left to ask of you! Don't worry about the colour, I just have to be able to see you've made the edits without it being a buttery yellow.
  1. Please place his 'likes' and 'dislikes' into a spoiler.
  2. Be sure to include his Viridian skill in the 'Skills' section next to his Leadership capabilities (maximum may be 'Fighter')
  3. Remove all of his weaknesses except for 'Near-Sighted' if you don't feel they're necessary. Remember that being Near-Sighted means he will have a disadvantage against ranged attackers and environmental harm!
@Magivore
Alright, put Likes and Dislikes into spoilers.

Luther is not a Viridian, his father, Nikolaus is.

I added the weaknesses to create more rp, If it's alright to leave them. I understand the weakness to range attack and it acts as a balance to his size/height I feel.
 
@Magivore
Alright, put Likes and Dislikes into spoilers.

Luther is not a Viridian, his father, Nikolaus is.

I added the weaknesses to create more rp, If it's alright to leave them. I understand the weakness to range attack and it acts as a balance to his size/height I feel.
Oh, misinterpretation on the Viridian matter, in that case. I do apologize for being late with it, but by being 'Ripped', he cannot maintain leadership skills. The highest he can reach is 'Sinewy' or 'Toned', as any higher builds require too much upkeep.
 
Oh, misinterpretation on the Viridian matter, in that case. I do apologize for being late with it, but by being 'Ripped', he cannot maintain leadership skills. The highest he can reach is 'Sinewy' or 'Toned', as any higher builds require too much upkeep.
Understood, going to replace all of those then with Toned
 
Oh, misinterpretation on the Viridian matter, in that case. I do apologize for being late with it, but by being 'Ripped', he cannot maintain leadership skills. The highest he can reach is 'Sinewy' or 'Toned', as any higher builds require too much upkeep.
@Magivore

Made the edits to his body build to be toned. He is no longer ripped.
 
My Review:
  • We do not have a culture called "Alt-Anglican", please correct this to whatever it actually is supposed to be representing.
  • The Special Permission section should be deleted as it is no longer part of the Template.
  • Skill Information is no longer optional and I also find it a bit unfortunate that you have given this character not a single Proficiency, not even in the Cultural area.
  • Talents are no loner part of the Template and should be deleted.
  • His Life Story should reflect whatever Proficiencies you eventually give him so please make the required edits to that section accordingly.
Tag me once the edits have been done in green @Zombiel3ait
 
My Review:
  • We do not have a culture called "Alt-Anglican", please correct this to whatever it actually is supposed to be representing.
  • The Special Permission section should be deleted as it is no longer part of the Template.
  • Skill Information is no longer optional and I also find it a bit unfortunate that you have given this character not a single Proficiency, not even in the Cultural area.
  • Talents are no loner part of the Template and should be deleted.
  • His Life Story should reflect whatever Proficiencies you eventually give him so please make the required edits to that section accordingly.
Tag me once the edits have been done in green @Zombiel3ait
@HydraLana
Thank you for the review. All changes made accordingly and in green!
 
@HydraLana
Thank you for the review. All changes made accordingly and in green!
@HydraLana
Just re-tagging as the post above, I had to edit the tag on due to forgetting it the first time, and am skeptical to if it went through, just from prior similar mistakes on my part.


Following changes to Life story


  • Soon, Luther attended the School of Marshalry as his father had motioned for him to take a career in the military. He enjoyed the study of new and though up tactics that would go beyond that of a normal modern strategy. He had a knack for logistics of supplies as well when it came to coordination of troops. Eventually, he returned to become a student as his mothers university before moving to Regalia with his father to open up a branch in the holy city, and start teaching courses from Military logistics to History and even beginning courses at the School of Marshalry.
  • ... his skills in the military, as for now, he focuses on domestic tending in his families capital province of Karelburg, enhancing and studying the plants and crops that make Artiemus it's wealth.
Following Addition of Skill Points

  • Skill Information (Optional)
    • 25 Points
      • +25 Military Theory (From School of Marshalry)
    • 25 Cultural Points
      • +25 Horticulture
 
My Review:
  • Please remove the Main Ambition, Weapon of Choice and the second statement of Body Build from the application as all are no longer part of the Character Application template.
  • Despite his Physical Stat being 0, I still need to see that stated in his Body Build section in the appropriate place.
  • Please add one more point of content to the Fourth Personality Paragraph.
  • His Life Story mentions schooling and skills he no longer possesses, please update the Life Story to fit the current lore for the character. It also ends a rather long time ago at this point, a lot of changes have occurred so please update this as well to fit his current status.
Tag me once the edits have been done in green @Zombiel3ait
 
My Review:
  • Please remove the Main Ambition, Weapon of Choice and the second statement of Body Build from the application as all are no longer part of the Character Application template.
  • Despite his Physical Stat being 0, I still need to see that stated in his Body Build section in the appropriate place.
  • He is only 25 and can only list two known languages, please remove one.
  • Please add one more point of content to the Fourth Personality Paragraph.
  • His Life Story mentions schooling and skills he no longer possesses, please update the Life Story to fit the current lore for the character. It also ends a rather long time ago at this point, a lot of changes have occurred so please update this as well to fit his current status.
Tag me once the edits have been done in green @Zombiel3ait
I shall get to the rest, but I just was under the assumption that 6 years literary stuff equaled an additional language. If not, I can remove it no prob. The rest I'll get to by Monday, thank yous!
 
I shall get to the rest, but I just was under the assumption that 6 years literary stuff equaled an additional language. If not, I can remove it no prob. The rest I'll get to by Monday, thank yous!
Ah yes, apologies for overlooking that, you are right. Point on review has been removed.
 
@HydraLana All suggested edits made. Life Story extended and edited to fit current events and lore and be up to date. Addition of Luther's "economical, cost-benefit analysis" viewpoint with life and the addition of the total for his body build stats being 0 along with the removal of weapon of choice, Main Ambition, and the old Body build section.
 
Soon, Luther soon studied Marshalry as his father had motioned for him to take a career in the military. He enjoyed the study of new and though up tactics that would go beyond that of a normal modern strategy. He had a knack for logistics of supplies as well when it came to coordination of troops. Eventually, he returned to become a student as his mothers university before moving to Regalia with his father to open up a branch in the holy city, and start teaching courses from Military logistics to History and even beginning lectures for Scholarly Organizations.
You changed absolutely none of his skills and knowledge here. He has no education in Marshalry or History in his Proficiency Points so please re-read the Life Story and make changes to include the actual schooling in Statesmanship that he took part in as well remove all old/no longer present educations with his Proficiencies.

Tag me once it is done in green @Zombiel3ait
 
You changed absolutely none of his skills and knowledge here. He has no education in Marshalry or History in his Proficiency Points so please re-read the Life Story and make changes to include the actual schooling in Statesmanship that he took part in as well remove all old/no longer present educations with his Proficiencies.

Tag me once it is done in green @Zombiel3ait
@HydraLana I edited the life story to focus more on his skills of statesmanship and academics, while leaving the hints of his father attempting to influence him to a military life more than once but failing. The result is a disciplined, yet intellectual young man with a passion for academics and a knack and pride for statesmanship.
 
In what way do you believe you will need assistance?
I've been gone for sometime so I may be behind in the exact needs for an application, such as this one, as well as lore. I've done some reading up but being unfamiliar, a second pair of eyes and help with suggested edits or additions be welcomed if possible.
 
Apologies, totally forgot about this. I got the points and language done. Everything is fixed. One thing, I gave him General Tactics Skill but there were mentions of a Marshall system and I was unaware of that, so I'm as a result unaware if the character can have such skills. If not, I can always fix that.
 
Apologies, totally forgot about this. I got the points and language done. Everything is fixed. One thing, I gave him General Tactics Skill but there were mentions of a Marshall system and I was unaware of that, so I'm as a result unaware if the character can have such skills. If not, I can always fix that.
The Marshalry System is the formal system run by BillyTheScroofy for those who have aspirations and involvements with general and tactical stuff to do that sort of thing. In terms of a form of IC education, you likely learned those skills through this. So, take a read over the page, and tag me after/if you make any edits to your app as a result of what you learn here: https://wiki.massivecraft.com/School_of_Marshalry
 
@Zombiel3ait It has been a bit, any more progress? I'm going to have to return this to rejected if there has not been.
 
Rejected due to a lack of communication.
 
Rejected due to a lack of communication.
Apologies, I've been rather distracted by Uni. I'd like to continue this application if possible. This character is to become my main now. I've simply taken a more profound interest in such.

In regards to the General tactics skill and Marshall System, I read it through and would like to go through with such, if possible.
 
Apologies, I've been rather distracted by Uni. I'd like to continue this application if possible. This character is to become my main now. I've simply taken a more profound interest in such.

In regards to the General tactics skill and Marshall System, I read it through and would like to go through with such, if possible.
Make whatever edits you want, but only tag me for a review once all of your edits and updates to the character are complete.