Basic Information Full Name: Jorg’un Ahk-Uk’gak, Fire to the Ash Age: 64 Gender: Male Race: Red Thorall Orc Skill Information Total Points: 64 +40 Unarmed Combat Skill (+10 from Race Boost and +30 from Point Boost) +10 Metallurgy Arts (from Race Boost) +10 Siege Combat Skill (from Race Boost) +20 Extra Heavy Combat Skill (from Point Boost) +10 Front-line Combat Skill (from Point Boost) Body Shape Physical Stat: 30 (x2) Unarmed Combat + 20 (x2) Extra Heavy Combat + 10 Front Line Combat + 30 Body Stat = 90 (Cap) Body Shape: Musclegod Body Fat: Built Languages Common (learned by default) Vashkularr (Mother and Father language) Special Traits/Spells/Mutations N/A Visual Information Eye Color: Brown with grey sclera. Hair Color: Black Hair Style: Tied back Skin Color: Red Clothing: Leather shirts and pants with numerous buckles. Height: 6’8” Personality and Abilities First Paragraph: Jorg’un is a very boisterous and cheerful Orc. With his rowdiness comes with a never-ending urge to fight. It's a very rare occasion for Jorg to turn down a fight he's offered, unless the person is deemed unworthy or too weak. He’s quick to accept others, or at least fake it, until they give him a reason not to. Jorg won't scowl or stare at the unknown or unwanted until they prove to be such. He believes actions speak louder than appearances and he's not keen on forgetting a dishonorable notion or deed. He always seems to be stuffing his mouth with food at every second, almost to the point where it seems gluttonous. Jorg can easily become distracted by food or quick to accept it from others without worrying about payment. He's usually in some form of moral debt to someone when he's unable to pay them back, opting to instead pay them with services or work. Second Paragraph: Jorg’un feels a sort of responsibility for helping the next generation of Orcs become mature adults. This sense of being depended on gives him both his confidence but also his anxieties. He’s fearful of being unfit to train and compete with the younger Orcs. He feels most of his self-worth is through his life experiences and being able to pass his knowledge down onto others. If he's unable to do that or feels like he can't, the Orc falls into a low pit where his fear of being too old to function takes over. It's akin to a depressive episode, but it's not hard to get him out of it if others try to cheer him up. This is why he’s constantly trying to better himself and turn things into competitions. Third Paragraph: Every Orc is a brother or sister for Jorg and until they destroy that trust he’ll continue to see them as such. Friendship and family are two halves of the same whole. Jorg will always try to support and see the best in his friends and family, sometimes even being stubborn about showing them off or proving they’re right to others. Those who betray his trust are the lowest of the low and deserve no second chance, though. Fourth Paragraph: Jorg is very good on the morality scale. He likes to abide by the law but his opinion is very easily swayed by either peer pressure or group mentality. He’s also very easily excited which can lead to him losing a bit of self control and stepping out of line more than once. Though when not committing petty crimes with his fellow Orcs he simply enjoys relaxing and eating a good meal. Life Story Jorg’un was born and raised within his tribe in southern Daen. His clan of other Thorall’s all holding that brotherly bond that all Orcs do. Jorg was a family favorite in the tribe, though his parents were unknown to all. Even he had no idea. Jorg was left on the entrance of his Tribe's temple-house, left to the care of all. This never really affected him as Jorg always felt like he had a family in his fellow kin. After years of training for combat and life, Jorg’un left to join the Ahk clan as an Uk’gar, the part of the clan specializing in fire usage to tactically force enemies into different locations during battle. Jorg was praised in his clan as especially tactful with his use of the fire and ability to combat multiple foes. The clan began to put Jorg at the front of charges and given his own battlements of Orcs to command. During one of the wars between Orcs and Avanthar, Jorg was stranded with his troops in a cave after an explosion of friendly fire opened up a ravine under their feet. They had nothing to eat for days on end, only the water dripping from crags and occasional rain keeping them barely sustained as they were pinned under large boulders. After almost a week of being trapped, an Avanthar was the one who found them and alerted their camp. The battle was long done by then and Jorg was surprised by who their savior was. It opened his mind to the fact that race didn't determine character. Jorg’un spent almost his entire life within the Ahk-Uk’gar camp, eventually growing to be one of the older and gaining the responsibility of training the younglings. At one point Jorg was responsible for his Tol's son, being put in charge of training him through his growing stages. Jorg took the boy on hunts and showed him the ways of fire that their clan endorsed. During one of his training days Jorg was irresponsible, trying to show off to the Tol's son in the woods on a hunt before losing the child. After hours of searching he found him bloodied by a tree, a bear having torn off his arm. Jorg has dispatched of the bear and quickly rushed the boy back. Shameful of his actions, though his Tol tried to convince him that it wasn't his fault, that his son shouldn't have been so careless and wandered off. Jorg, although thankful for the words of kindness, still reflects on the day when looking after others. Jorg’un was given Hhakar while the boy was at a young age, tasked with making him into a fine Uk’gar. Over the years Jorg’un and Hhakar grew a close bond which seemed more than brothers, perhaps even fatherly as he kept watch and took Hhakar on all his duties in order to further teach him. Finally the two set out for Regalia after hunting in Daen didn’t satisfy them as it used to, hearing tale of a beast roaming the undercity that none had yet to even touch.
Here is my review: Skill Information The Body Stat calculations are a little off. Racial Proficiency Boosts do not count to these calculations, so you would remove the +10 Siege Combat and +10 Metallurgy Combat. As it stands, his calculations should look something like this: 10 (x2) Unarmed Combat + 4 Throwing Combat + 20 Extra Heavy Combat + 10 Front Line Combat = 54 Total Personality and Abilities I think you meant to put "With his rowdiness comes a never-ending urge to fight." Just a grammatical error I noticed. Your first paragraph needs some elaboration. Talk about how he might seem accepting, what his behaviors are like in order to keep up this act, and how his gluttonous, rowdy demeanor portray themselves in more detail. I would include a sentence in your second paragraph on how his anxieties might show through him or how they might make him think or act differently at various times. Life Story Your life story is generally too short and should include more points about his life from childhood to the present. To help flesh out this section, I would recommend throwing in two or three personal experiences that have impacted him for life. Think about what could've helped shape him into who he is today, how his fears, worries or anxieties might've stemmed from something encountered in his past, etc. etc. Make your edits in a legible red then tag me when you've completed them. @Empaul
@MantaRey Edits were made, though only thing is that Extra Heavy Combat gets double the points invested towards Physical Stat. I changed the racial bonuses to not be added, as I had forgotten they didn't count. Expanded in his personality to give more specific details into how he acts based on his traits. Also added sections into his life story as requested to further explain his personality.
@MantaRey Heya! I know I haven't touched this app in a while but I touched the proficiencies and age around a bit to better suit him!
