I Feel Conflicted About Massive And I Want To Talk About It

[tin77]

Alright, this is kind of hard to properly write about but I'm just going to try and let it all out so stick with me please.

I have been a part of Massivecraft for a really really long time. I can safely say I grew up along side it, I went from my cringy years as a young kid to the older teenager I am now. Actually, in 2 months... I'll have been on for 5 years. Half a decade. I know people have been around for longer but there aren't many who've stayed for that long. There aren't many who've been playing the same character for so long.

I've been getting less and less active and part of me doesn't know if I'll be on that often or stick around for that long. I've loved Massive dearly for, well, the last 5 years but I don't know where to go from here, what to do. You see the problem with sticking around for so long is that everybody leaves. And if everybody is leaving, why should I stay?

I don't even remember how I found the server. But I do know where I first found it but I do remember my first memories. I didn't think I'd stick around for that long but something grabbed me. That very something was located in the mines of Silverwind, a gold mine to be exact. That little instance got me into roleplay, it got me going. It made me love this server and helped shaped what my character would become. One of my first friends Bluestar would come around with me hopping from instance to instance while I stole all my plot ideas from the Uncharted series, the video games I was playing at the time. I moved away from factions and into the roleplay scene.

My real fun didn't start till I joined an infamous little faction known as Revolution. That's where I met Puffy and Watchdog, launching a series of fun adventures that got me obsessed with the server. I'd hop around the city from person to person while I spewed out childlike plotlines from my childlike mind. There was so much to do. The stories seemed endless no matter how convoluted they became. And as Regalia entered the equation I shifted my roleplay towards a more seriousness roleplay structure, cleaning up my almost Mary Sue like of a character. Yet even with the more serious tone there was still a lot of room for silly fun. At least this time it actually led places and I wasn't making it up as I went along. I was so enamored with the stories that were forming around me I actually started to write stories about them, connecting them all. But more on that later.

However there was a point where things got a little too serious for me. It was around when Nobles were first introduced. I always went through my roleplay acting like I was important, like I had to influence the whole world, like my adventures had to be something more than self-contained. I kind of feel like there was one particular moment where this happened. I tried to set up a roleplay my old fashioned way, by spewing out random things and expecting people to join. However when I tried, I was shot down instantly. I know it seems silly, but this kind of broke my little heart. I knew I had to shift into the more serious roleplay enviroment. I tried my best to be a part of the Noble scene but I really was too young. This started my expedition towards being important, but I never really succeeded. While I tried my best to become one of the Noble folk, something else was going on around me. People were either moving up in the roleplay world or leaving. New characters, new families. I couldn't comprehend it, I was struggling to keep up with old people. And with my lack of communication over Skype once people were gone I couldn't really ever see them again.

Thus began my long journey to make it in a virtual world. It was really a waste of time and went on for way too long. I took frequent breaks and was kind of done with Massive but I got dragged back in once again. I formed a smaller group of friends and things picked up again. This is where I learned that my adventures didn't have to be important in the grand scheme of things for me to like them. I could find fun in my little group of friends in our own little self-contained adventures. The little breakfast club of me, Pastellanar, VictoriaRose, and Squint was some of the best times I had on Massive.

Things were a little too good to be true. Once again, they moved away from me. This time I could safely say I walked away with something though. I understood that the real fun just laid with a small group of friends. While nothing ever reached that degree of fun I still met a ton of new and nice people. This time I was also quite more aware of when and why people left, but I still got a little upset with each person vanishing. I didn't really want to be one of them but I too hit a rut. Life got too busy and too important for me to spend in this online reality. I didn't really see the appeal in roleplay because my childlike wonder towards it was gone.

School really took up most of my time and with me not caring much I didn't see why I should still try to even be a part of it when I was being pushed to the side anyway. I didn't really see the appeal of keeping up a virtual life when I wanted to keep up my real one with school work. There wasn't really an appeal of online friends to me on Minecraft when I wanted to focus on the real ones I had who were so much closer.

I don't know if it was just how the server changed or if it was really my fault. Because I look back and I feel like its a mixture of both. The server just way too serious for me. I couldn't find any fun in it anymore as everything constantly changed. I couldn't find new plot lines that led anywhere or stick around with anybody long enough to resolve my own arches. Everything was all politics and frankly, I wasn't really interested. It seemed to be that the server had moved into a direction where that early kind of roleplay was discouraged. Yeah, it made sense, old roleplay was awful. But to me it had so much soul to it.

I can't place all blame on the server though. I was not a child anymore. I could not approach things the same way or come up with the same ideas. Things got a little sad and depressing. While I'm a happy man in real life who is happy with what he's doing, where he is, and who he has, it kind of pains me to look at how it's been online for me because it's gotten so sad. There are so many things I love about this community but I really do feel like I got to move away from it. And I know this one comment will make people a little angry, but part of me feels like I've gotten too old for roleplay. Like I can't really see any enjoyment in it anymore which is quite depressing. It's just not my thing anymore even though it was once a trademark of my personality.

So is this it for me? I don't know, maybe I'll be on every now and then. As for my Massivecraft inspired story, that's actually been finished. I do want to put a disclaimer that's its essentially fanfiction, but I have done editing the stories of my early roleplays. I'll probably make another post if I ever do things with it. I thought it'd just be nice to inform you guys of that. If I've gotten one thing out of this server other than good memories and friendships, its that story. Even if it isn't the best I'm quite proud of it.

Sorry if this seemed a little bloated and ranty but I just wanted to let it out. I don't really know as much people this day and age so you might not care but if you read all of this I'm glad you listened. I really do want to thank you guys though. Everybody here, everybody who has been here. There is such a nice community here and you've given me so many great memories to hold onto, even if it's just been virtual ones. I am so glad I got to meet the people I met here despite the fact that most of them are gone. This is such a nice place and I want to see it succeed, but I don't think I can be somebody who is on everyday anymore. I'm just not that kind of person anymore. Thanks for everything, I hope this server continues to bring more and more people happy memories and adventures.

So here's to a 5 year anniversary.

Here's to Massivecraft.

 

[gnomery]

i feel ya- i've been on massive for 2 n 1/2 years which isn't too much but... i think it's just harder now to find the niche of massive i really belong to, especially when ive been inactive and dealing with real life stuff for a while. i want to get back into massive but it's so difficult- the map is so big, everyone's involved with each other, there's just so much politics, part of the map is quarantined, trapping people inside and keeping outside people from interacting with them...
personally, i still enjoy roleplay- but i find myself doing dnd and roleplay over discord n stuff instead of on massive. i want to get back into massive, im just not sure where i belong in it. i think a lot of it is up to us individually to bring the 'magic' that was there before back, if you want to that is
btw- i still keep in touch with squint, he's one of my closest friends! i just say that because it surprised me a lil to see his username haha

 

[Magivore]

As having already hit my 5 year anniversary, I had thought this feeling was exclusive to myself. To see that I am not the only one that has felt this way is actually quite relieving to hear! I have seen your name from the very beginning of my time on the forums (let us avoid talking of that) to when I started writing some (albeit not much) lore for the server itself. Some of us will grow out of our tastes, and there is nothing wrong with that. It is a part of life-- and a healthy one, at that. My whole personality used to be dedicated around being intrigued by perfect grades and fencing, yet I do not seem to reach either of those so quickly anymore. In fact, I used to absolutely despise people such as MonMarty, yet now I see him in a positive light (even though I do not always show it). If I had not matured in any way, I would be stuck with terrible writing and a hatred for someone who did not deserve it for an unhealthy length of time. While it might be a bit depressing at first, I can guarantee you that there is never any harm in growing up. You will find another place to be, and that environment or hobby might last you for a week, a year, a decade, or perhaps even the rest of your life. By learning that something is not entertaining anymore, you have learned that it is time to get curious and stick your nose into the little things you always thought of. Ever want to dance? Perform in a theatrical production? Write? Play a new sport? Discover something entirely new? Does MassiveCraft still have things you have not tried? What about that new kid you never know enough about? Does a classmate seem to share a couple interests with you? Was the last argument you had really worth losing a friend over? While I personally do not plan to leave MassiveCraft for a while, there is no doubt that I will eventually follow your footsteps and find newer places to be.

You have to find those places somehow; now it's time for your real adventure, @tin77.

 

[Mojavens]

You'll come back. They always do.

 

[EternallyDarkX]

You'll come back. They always do.

Click to shrink...

We all do

 

[EternallyDarkX]

Could've sworn I had a long time war with the original Revolution led by Macdisney123... oof. But yeah I feel this entire post, I'm nearly hitting 5 years (I'm my original account) and I'm sitting here like "I've been on this server for so long... What do I do? I've built an empire, changed a few people's lives and most importantly grew WITH the server.. like what else can I do?"

 

[SubscriptShark]

Yup.

 

[Satisarah]

Nothing stays the same, as everything changes with time. People included. I've passed my 5 year mark as well, and I think only a small handful of my friends have been on for that long. New ones appear every now and then, and they stick around either through Massive, Skype or other programs. Inevitably though, you lose contact. It used to bother and upset me, but I've grown to experience it differently now. It definitely feels sad, but know that they're probably doing great and enjoying their new way of life. Naturally, people don't like change, and that's completely understandable. Mostly it isn't harmful, though. I suppose most of us are 'programmed' to feel saddened by it.

Remember the past with a smile, even when times were rough, for they shaped you into who you are today. That'll help you in the future, no matter what direction you chose to walk. New opportunities await you in the hundreds, and I'm sure you'll experience joy and adventure again like you did back in the days, even though you're older now. Know that I've felt exactly what you feel now! I think I've just grown to accept it. Massive as a whole has become something precious to me- like a little thing I'm obliged to tend to-, and I'm very determined to see it prevail for as long as possible, so I suppose that's why I haven't left. So yes, cheers to Massive! And cheers to you for telling how you've experienced Massive. You're not alone! And you'll never be ^^

 

[Ereze]

Ive been on massive for 4 years off and on, and I have to say that I agree about growing up alongside it. This server brought me into adulthood and taught me some valuable social skills.
But once you hit that point where you have to snap out of your little massive fantasy and focus on rl, its almost impossible now to get back into it.
Which honestly I feel like thats part of the issue with the population decline. There is plenty of people out there who played for years and want to keep playing but they just cant reintegrate because at some point, the server kind of created a gap of change. Nobody knows what the fvck they came back to.

I love massive. It was my haven for 4 years. Its saddening to see other people are having this issue too.

 

[studsonsc]

Eeyyy I remember your name @tin77 . And Squint.

I recently came back to Massivecraft after a two year break, I left because I was busy with schoolwork and I wanted a less serious server to role-play on.

I know it's hard to reemerge yourself when you feel out of place, but if you throw yourself into role-play groups you really can squeeze your way in. I've found that players may not invite you in due to liking to stay in comfortable cliques. If you present role-play to other players, they are open to letting you join. It's up to an individual to toss aside any worry of rejection and just hop into role-playing. Role-play is created by everyone's input; you cannot role-play sitting at the bar awaiting someone to come up to you and instigate conversation.

Personally, I recommend peasant role-play, it's closest to early 2013 Massivecraft. It's lighthearted and fun, not too serious!

 

[DrFong]

I played was one called Masmia Revy, who worked for the mysterious @DrFong after I literally stood outside his mansion for several (in real life) days to get a job, because I was a stubborn bastard back then. After experiencing the madness of DrFong and the Clown...

Click to shrink...

You forgot to turn in your FongCo short-sleeved jumpsuit when you left. We need that back.

But seriously, as someone closing in on five years here, it has been a fun ride. I've had my ups and downs. I don't take minecraft games and servers as seriously as some, but it has been an honor playing with all of you.

House of Fong is alive and well and one of the last remaining original Regalian noble houses. If anyone needs a "foot in the door" or just somebody to talk to and roleplay with, maybe we can inspire each other.

Fun is where you make it!

 

[studsonsc]

If anyone needs a "foot in the door" or just somebody to talk to and roleplay with, maybe we can inspire each other.

Fun is where you make it!

Click to shrink...

This. There's a lot of players open to new role-play, including myself.

 

[Jovee]

Cheers, Tin. You're a good fella and I know you'll find your way. I had some good times with you and I certainly won't forget them. [:

 

[SpoopMelon]

If any of you guys want someone to roleplay with while they get back into the swing of things or need someone to introduce them to other characters, just pm me! I'm making my way back in too and would love to help anyone who wants to return but needs a friend by their side while they're starting out just as I did!

 

[Erzly]

this thread is so wholesome, i love it, and i relate to a lot. I have to say, personally, i love roleplaying with new people, and haven't ever really been part of a clique, but yet i still find enjoyment in the server. it's easy to feel like you may be rejected, but more often than not, people will be happy to include you in their rp. if me and another are roleplaying, i find it especially fun when more people join in too, especially those who i've never met before. unique experiences tend to be the greatest. just do whatever makes you happy!

 

[tin77]

Eeyyy I remember your name @tin77 . And Squint.

I recently came back to Massivecraft after a two year break, I left because I was busy with schoolwork and I wanted a less serious server to role-play on.

I know it's hard to reemerge yourself when you feel out of place, but if you throw yourself into role-play groups you really can squeeze your way in. I've found that players may not invite you in due to liking to stay in comfortable cliques. If you present role-play to other players, they are open to letting you join. It's up to an individual to toss aside any worry of rejection and just hop into role-playing. Role-play is created by everyone's input; you cannot role-play sitting at the bar awaiting someone to come up to you and instigate conversation.

Personally, I recommend peasant role-play, it's closest to early 2013 Massivecraft. It's lighthearted and fun, not too serious!

Click to shrink...

Aw, it was nice to see you write that. You know, out of everybody from the early days, you were the one who came back. Too bad you only got to see me during my silly days but they were still fond memories if I do say myself.

You forgot to turn in your FongCo short-sleeved jumpsuit when you left. We need that back.

But seriously, as someone closing in on five years here, it has been a fun ride. I've had my ups and downs. I don't take minecraft games and servers as seriously as some, but it has been an honor playing with all of you.

House of Fong is alive and well and one of the last remaining original Regalian noble houses. If anyone needs a "foot in the door" or just somebody to talk to and roleplay with, maybe we can inspire each other.

Fun is where you make it!

Click to shrink...

Also thank you, I'm sorry I haven't really been in the Fong discord. During the time where I tried to be important, I tried desperately to get a job from you. You don't know how happy I was when you finally gave me something to do, no matter how small.

Cheers, Tin. You're a good fella and I know you'll find your way. I had some good times with you and I certainly won't forget them. [:

Click to shrink...

And thank you. If I had to choose another fond period of time it would be when I actually got my Information Broker service going. The hunt for the piano is still one of my favorite roleplays ever.


And overall, thank you for all your responses. I can't really reply to all of you but these are really sweet. And no, I don't think I'm gone for good. I'll hop on and see what's going down every now and then. Who knows, maybe I'll slip back into routine one day when I discover something new.

 

[DrFong]

Also thank you, I'm sorry I haven't really been in the Fong discord. During the time where I tried to be important, I tried desperately to get a job from you. You don't know how happy I was when you finally gave me something to do, no matter how small.

Click to shrink...

I try to always remember that this is for fun. FUN writ large is my mantra. I, myself, find a lot of joy in trying to create fun for other players. I love leaving little easter eggs for people to find when I build. Sometimes I rent a house in regalia for a month, just to decorate the inside in some strange way for someone to find and explore when I leave the door open.

I love sending people on quests. When I need feathers to make more copies of my best-selling book "Dr. Fong's Rules of Acquisition" (available now in the marketplace), I find someone who looks bored and send them out hunting. Or at least, send them to the market to find the best price. I could do all of this myself. I have tons of feathers in storage at my faction. I think of it as a way to generate a fun quest for someone else; a quest that might give someone a purpose for a while and lead to other adventures.

I take all comers in roleplay. I've rubbed elbows with the Emperor. I've hid in the sewers for six months while Qadir wanted me dead. I've done factions. I've done nobility. Made and spent fortunes. I've progressed and been irrelevant. I've gained and lost a thousand friends. I've seen the great cycles of the universe. I feel like I've lived here for 1000 years.

Some days I think of myself as an NPC; like I exist in order to help facilitate other people's stories. I get a lot of joy when someone says, "you were the first person I roleplayed with and it helped me find my place."

 

[YouDontKnowJack]

Hey tin, I'll try to keep this brief since I don't have much advice to offer like the great people of massive have.
I never spent a ton of time RPing with you but we've chatted a bit and the few times I have RPed with you it was really fun. I totally understand where you're coming from with this and sadly feel the same way, but don't let it get you down. If you want to stay/want to keep in touch with your buds or even just log on every now and then to see what things are like, that's great, but don't feel like it's a requirement. Spending so long here is bound to make it hard to let go, if that's what you decide to do. Me, I just found a lot of other stuff to do (music particularly) that pulled me away and it was sad when I finally announced I was leaving (the server at least) it was sad but it left me at peace. So my point is, don't keep holding on because you feel like you can't let go of Massive/part of it. We'd all love for you to stay but don't do it because you feel like you need to, do it because it's whats best for you and makes you happy. Just go with what you want to do, and no matter what you decide, you'll always have plenty of friends here <3

 

[MonMarty]

Not super relevant to this thread, but in case you do pop by and have trouble reconnecting with people, this should make it easier: https://forums.massivecraft.com/threads/regalias-hugbox-implemented.59756/

 

[spanch]

this is relatable man, i rlly never felt like i fit in here... everyone felt so important and i'm just... me? my chars have never been popular or had more than one friend :/

 

[tin77]

this is relatable man, i rlly never felt like i fit in here... everyone felt so important and i'm just... me? my chars have never been popular or had more than one friend :/

Click to shrink...

Just gotta keep trying. Harder to make friends now then the early days but if you strive for it you can do it, I believe in you Spanch!

 

[spanch]

Just gotta keep trying. Harder to make friends now then the early days but if you strive for it you can do it, I believe in you Spanch!

Click to shrink...

thanks... you should come back i miss you dude

 

[Legoclub22]

I can relate to a lot of this. In the three years I've played, I've done a lot. From owning a fac, to leading a city, to being a Regalian vigilante, to attempting the Noble system, to being a Regalian Guard, so on.

In that time I've met and been friends with a lot of people. I can recall plenty of fond memories of things I did, and people I did them with. What's always hard is seeing someone go. Maybe not even knowing they would, just never seeing them again. It's always saddened me.

Every name in my fav list is evidence of a clique, story arch or friendship. There have been phases where I'll spend a lot of time with one or more people, only to eventually stop talking to them regularly.

Some people I used to be close with I've forgotten about almost entirely. Sometimes I don't even remember who people are.


Something isn't good because it lasts forever. All good things must end.
(That's not a real quote, sue me)

Often times, the things you love most don't last, as they shouldn't. Sure, we'd all love to spend eternity doing something we love, but what makes it special is that it's finite.
You know what they say, "I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday."

Most of my fondest memories are my earliest, my noob days. Things are so much more fun when you're not a rusty old sea dog. This goes for nearly everything. Massivecraft is not the only example, it's just a common one.

Letting go is the hardest thing ever. What you have to understand, though, is that you're not the same as you were five, four, or three years ago. Picture your younger self as another person. A sibling, will you. Younger you is gone. As tragic as it may sound, your younger self died, bit by bit.
Next paragraph will be a bit darker, so trigger warning.

If your younger self is your sibling, then picture that your sibling, you, has passed away. Will you still do the things your sibling enjoyed, just for nostalgia? Can you come to terms and accept that what once was, no longer is? Will you lay your younger self to rest, and lock it away with your memories, never to be forgotten, or will you hold on for the sake of holding on?

This applies to a lot of circumstances, especially ones personal to me. Massivecraft has run practically parallel to a real-life 'romance' for me. Three years ago I joined Massive. Three years ago I met someone I fancied. Things happened in three years both in and out of the game. Quite frankly, I grew up.

Someone I once couldn't get out of my mind is now a bitter dead end. Massivecraft has lost it's fire for me. Letting go of this person is a scary thought for me. I know I'll never be with her, but the scattered conversations mean a lot to me. I can't imagine leaving Massivecraft, but I also don't have the drive to do anything enjoyable.

Will I ever come to terms with myself and move on from these things? I know I will in three-ish years, like it or not. Maybe later in life I'll try to re-kindle my fire. Maybe it needs to rest. I think a lot of you can agree.

 

[Augury_]

It's getting to the point that we have to start posting life stories onto the forum, why dont we just all focus and play the game instead?

 

[Jovee]

It's getting to the point that we have to start posting life stories onto the forum, why dont we just all focus and play the game instead?

Click to shrink...

This is the forums, a place to discuss things not directly pertaining to roleplay/factions/survival. They've all got a right to share their stories-- they're not hurting anyone. The server itself is a place to play, well, the game.

Just because you can't relate to these testimonials, doesn't mean it has to stop.

 

[Legoclub22]

This is the forums, a place to discuss things not directly pertaining to roleplay/factions/survival. They've all got a right to share their stories-- they're not hurting anyone. The server itself is a place to play, well, the game.

Just because you can't relate to these testimonials, doesn't mean it has to stop.

Click to shrink...

You're not wrong, though I think Augury's point was not that we shouldn't discuss it, but that if we just go out and engage, we'll have fun.

Which, frankly, is true. It just becomes harder for people to get into things after a while. Usually, you just do stuff with your friends whenever, and enjoy it. But then your friends move on.

I just remembered a quote which doesn't have anything to do with this but fits well.
"The sad part isn't those that leave, but those that are left behind."

 

[_Boreas]

I have to say I feel the exact same way abo0ut Massive. I too, have spent about 5 long years on this server and I began to realize it was a dead end. I haven't been back on the server for a long time but sometimes I miss the relationships and the memories I made on this server. Every now and then I log into the forums just to check in on the community to see if it's still as alive as it was when I left.