⋆༺❀༻⋆Gwenynen Maddox⋆༺❀༻⋆
(Gwen for short)
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⊱✿⊰Basic Info⊱✿⊰
- Heritage / Culture: Bee Narim
- Age: 22
- Gender / Pronouns: Agender, Any pronouns(mainly she/they and it though)
- Orientation: Panromantic, Asexual
- Religion: Agnostic
- Occult: Mage
- Character Occupation: A shopkeeper at the Ostin Werner's library(Used to be a travelling merchant that sold handmade wares such as crocheted items, embroideries, dried flowers etc)
⊱✿⊰Appearance Description⊱✿⊰
Gwen is specifically a bumblebee narim, rendering them to be a bit fuzzy and having large bee wings. They stand at a short stature of 155cm or 5ft 1, they have a slightly chubby build(images/links for reference: https://pin.it/4YGcI7vdP and https://pin.it/1MVF0rLVQ ) and large blue/black bug eyes. They can normally be seen wearing more loose fitting and modest garments usually made out of linen with small flower embroideries around it, topped with a brown shawl with fake fur around the hem of it(along with more small flower embroideries lacing the corners) and a sunflower headdress.
⊱✿⊰Skills & Mechanics⊱✿⊰
Gwen is seen to have a knack for creative arts and crafts. They dabble in various activities such as embroidery, crocheting, flower bindings & drying and much more(It even makes her own wax seals for letters) She can be really resourceful as they can use their own surroundings for Its own crafts.
For their heritage mechanics; It is listed as below:
- can attempt to sense a discordant note from a deep gestalt consciousness with the living, when they focus on an Event/DM Character, to learn if they have dark/evil/immoral intentions.
- Narim have night vision and are able to see in perfect (mundane) darkness, never needing a light or some other sight implemented in the sewers or at night.
- They have wings, meaning they hypothetically can fly(They can't. Never really learnt how to do so) but they can sort of glide
- can revert to a larval stage (not child-like, but grub-like) shedding their body, for 3 days. They can then change their arthropod species, and recover any lost limbs or remove scarring.
⊱✿⊰Backstory/Lore summary⊱✿⊰
TW: Parental abuse, deaths, murder, mentions of fake figures, isolationThis sets place in a faraway village with a woman who was still mourning the loss of her daughter who had sadly passed away from an accident that involved magic. One day she was taking a stroll through the forest and found a young and visibly injured Bee Narim passed out. Unknowing what to do and out of impulse, she took it back home and nursed it back to health. The Narim woke up, panicked with no recollection of who they were and where they came from. The woman, as mentioned before still hung up on the passing of her child, sought a replacement to fill the hole that was left when said daughter passed, The Narim obliged because well; where else were they supposed to go or do? This woman was trying to help them so they took it. The grieving lady will be called Marigold for convenience sake and keep in mind, This was when Gwen was around like 10.
The lady was quite…unstable to say the least. Before her kid's untimely death, there was a plague that swept through the village which left many of her loved ones passed including her husband; which left her clinging and doting on her daughter as she was the only family she had left so when the girl died, she didn't take it very well. She took in the Narim out of hopes of simulating and imitating how life would've went if she still had a daughter(I should probably mention that the woman solely blamed magic for the cause of the kid's death, leading to a disdain for any sort of magic and mages so you could imagine her reaction to finding out the kid she took in was a magic user)
Marigold could honestly care less for Gwen themself. She just wanted her child back and was willing to do anything to do that even if it was at the cost of another kid. Marigold was absolutely terrified of a repeat of a repeat to what happened to her child so she basically trapped child Gwen inside their cottage, foreboding her to ever step outside. Gwen was basically trapped and held hostage inside by who she thought was supposed to be her protector and guardian. Marigold also made sure Gwen would never even think of the idea of wielding the magic she was born with via: making Gwen FEAR magic right from the get go, making her believe that the gift she was given right when she was born was a curse that harmed others and should never even be mentioned. Gwen was practically isolated for the majority of her life. Due to this she never had any chance to develop any meaningful connections or social skills.
Gwen was grateful for Marigold at first. They thought of marigold as even their own mother but as time went on, the affection grew bitter as the Narim came to realize that her "mother" wasn't actually their mother but instead just playing a role and she was involved in her delusions. Her feelings are mixed on marigold because on one hand; you have no recollection or idea of who you were or what happened prior to being "rescued". She gave you a shelter(or a prison) to live in, motherly love and affection even if it was fake but on the other hand; Gwen didn't want to just be used as a placeholder for someone they never knew, let alone a dead person. As time went on the more hysterical Marigold came and the more unsafe the home became for Gwen. Marigold now deluded that Gwen was in fact her actual daughter and not just some orphan she took in denied Gwen of her own being and instead pretended she was someone who wasn't even there anymore and if Gwen showed any signs of not being apart of this fake world marigold built for herself, she'd lash out and have an emotional breakdown(by this point, Gwen should be around 14-16) although there were never any physical violence involved, the outbursts were dramatic and led Gwen hurrying to lock herself in her room to avoid marigold
Eventually Gwen had enough and attempted to sneak out one night but got caught by marigold in the process. This lead to a huge argument breaking out and marigold trying to forcefully and painfully drag Gwen back in the cottage by either the antenna or wings which led to Gwen accidentally shooting a spell to get Mari to back off but the impact was so strong that it killed marigold
Gwen, absolutely riddled with shock and guilt of what she's done booked it and became a nomad, traveling from places to places, living off selling handmade items or foragables in different areas while trying to move on from her past of isolation and loneliness and trying to see more of the world, finding everything she's been deprived of during her childhood. Although at some point, she decided she wanted to settle down somewhere more permanent as she never had a chance to actually create meaningful connections while constantly hopping from places to places(plus she was still very much a shy, awkward, wallflower with little to no friends and wanted to change that) That's when she stumbled upon regalia, the capital of the regalian empire! A bustling city filled with a diverse community and figured that this would be a nice place to stay for now
However…
Gwen, never quite got over the fact that she killed marigold. The guilt was constantly eating away at them bit by bit as despite Marigold's irreversible damage onto Gwen's psyche, in a way; she was still Gwen's mother figure and this eventually gets worse and now Gwen begins to hear and see hallucinations of Marigold around her
Whispering cryptic messages, weeping or just standing there and staring daggers into Gwen's soul
⊱✿⊰How it affected them/Plot hooks⊱✿⊰
Due to Gwen's childhood of isolation, they never really developed any actual social skills, Later on after running away she did manage to pick up on how to communicate with other semi-regularly however this doesn't really erase the lack of socialization that carried on from when they were 10 to 14-16. This of course led to them having much more difficulty forming connections with others and difficulty managing their own emotions from time to time(It also definitely didn't help that for a good chunk of Gwen's life after Marigold was spent travelling from places to places which also means that It never really had a chance to sit down and form these meaningful connections that she so desperately craved.)Since isolation and loneliness is what Gwen is more familiar with than anything, this sometimes lead to them willingly isolating themselves due to the unfamiliarity that comes with putting themselves out there and actively engaging with the people around them(although this has been improving just a bit more recently). Gwen also has slight social anxiety that stemmed from during the later years of being in Marigold's household; having to tread on eggshells and constantly second guess every word they say to make sure that Marigold didn't fly into another hysterical breakdown once again of course leading to Gwen still carrying the same habits well into adulthood(ie: remaining silent for most of the time to avoid accidentally saying something "wrong" and radically overthinking a lot of the things they do say)
Gwen also has a rooted fear in their magical culpabilities and magic in itself due to Marigold instilling said fear into them(because who else would it be) and this was especially amplified after Marigold's death, This resulted in them feeling unease around magic and having a disdain in their own magical culpabilities and all that comes with it. Due to this, they aren't that especially trained in their magic and don't talk about it a lot. After their runaway, It did eventually learn from observing the people and surroundings around them that magic isn't all that scary or the worse and their perception on it has loosened slightly since then but the unease is still there just at a lesser extent
As mentioned before, Gwen never fully got over their accidental murder of Marigold and this guilt grew and ate them away day by day and year by year. This lead to them to start going through periods of psychosis, seeing and hearing marigold's figures; like being haunted by her. These hallucinations are a lot more prevalent during the dark and moments when Gwen is alone. These hallucinations didn't abruptly appear one day. This was something that had been building up since marigold's death till more recently, when Gwen has already somewhat settled into Regalia.
Due to these hallucinations, Gwen is more jumpy and easier to startle. She's more prone to accidentally drifting off and disassociating with their surroundings due to lack of sleep as they tend to skip the needed rest due to nigh terrors and the fact that these hallucinations are more prevalent when at home. After these deliriums started to get worse, this amplified their already existing anxiety and isolative tendencies even further.
⊱✿⊰Personality⊱✿⊰
As mentioned before, not much of a talker and is quite shy but they're really sweet once you get past that point. They're great listener, willing to hear whatever the people around them have to say and help people(as long as there's no confrontations, debates, fighting involved) although as mentioned before.
She's quite day dreamy, easily drifting into Its own thoughts when alone. They are a creative minded person which is reflected in their craftmanship but they can be quite airheaded, with some difficulties picking up on the social cues and jokes.
Sentimental. It has a hoarding problem because it can't bear to separate with any junk she doesn't need anymore and can emotionally latch on to things quite quickly
Curious,(mainly stemming from their sheltered childhood) They can be quick to ask questions at times, They enjoy learning new things about the world and the people around them. When on the job at the library, you can see them dabbling in a history book or two. They have a lot of things they want to ask, just too shy to do so.
Gwen can be quite cowardly. When either them or someone they know is facing some sort of confrontation, they're more hesitant to do or say anything back instead would just stay silent and hope it will all blow over or just flat out avoid it/runaway if they can. They're much more likely to go along with whatever even if It doesn't like just for the sake of avoiding conflict which can be a bit contradictory to their avid curiosity as mentioned earlier.
⊱✿⊰Trivia⊱✿⊰
- They're actually pretty shitty at flying. They used to be quite decent when younger but upon being taken in by Marigold and staying cooped up inside all the time with little space or reason to fly, the skills eventually eroded over time.
- Vegetarian. They don't like the texture of meat(Plus, they feel weird eating livestock considering the fact that they're an insect.)
- They have a wider range of hobbies interests that aren't just crochets and embroidery. They dabble in sketching/painting, baking, collecting and etc!
- Gwen isn't actually their "real" name. Just something they adopted to move away from the role they were forced to play(The name they were actually given wasn't even really Her's but instead belonged to Marigold's dead child)
(More will be added soon as this is still somewhat of a new character)
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