Basic Information Full Name: Evidio “Enzo” Celso Age: 25 years old Gender: Male Race: Ailor (Dressolini and Colonial Ceardian decent) Skill Information Proficiency Points 25 +10 Blades, proficiency, being Ailor +10 Fast Blades, proficiency, being Ailor +10 Statesman, proficiency, +10 Rogue Training, proficiency +10 Musical Knowledge, cultural Languages Dressolini (Taught from birth) Common (Learned early in life Body Shape Physical Stat: 20 Body Shape: Athletic Body Fat: Low Body Fat Visual Information Eye Color: Dark brown Hair Color: Chocolate Brown Hair Style: Middle parting, tied into a bun. Skin Color: Olive Clothing: Brown shirt, green pants, with a black coat. Height: 5 foot 9 inches Personality Traits First Paragraph: Evidio comes off as a very extroverted character. He is always having to do things, always having to enjoy himself as well. The man comes off as an incredibly kind person; almost to the point of being a jacobin to non-humans. While he does give off this appearance, He also seems “out of it” half the time. He can be seen being either alone with not even the sound of birds around him, or in the middle of an incredible party. He seems to have two faces when you meet him at first to summarize. Second Paragraph: Evidio thinks lowly of himself and it leads to the many anxieties in his life. He has always felt alone and the only person He feels he can trust at this moment in his life is his brother who is always gone. He tries to escape from this reality by focusing on his passion in life, or socializing with as many people as possible, or using intoxicating things such as slag, opium, or alcohol. He attempts to hide this part of himself from most people but the more and more people get to know him, the more and more this part shows. Third Paragraph: One of the things Evidio was deprived of in life was a father, and while this has not stopped him or the fact that he hasn’t given much care about it, it has led to a divison of how he treats people. There are people who are his friends, and then people who are his family. People who are his friends he shows the good side generally too. Laughing, fooling around, and doing all sorts of things with him. People he considers his family, (such as Nicolo, his Troupe, couple of close friends, his wife), he talks about the problems he has in life. He doesn’t necessary directly tell them of his problems, but shows them some of his deeper fears; while remaining somewhat energetic. Fourth Paragraph: While Evidio is a light Unionist, more so being an Old Gods Follower with the Spirit being some divine being, he is in deed a Jacobin. He has an extreme leftist point of view in the world and often shows it to many people. While he is a jacobin, he doesn't actually care much about politics or anything in general. He works with neo-bulwarks just fine and just keeps his mouth shut. He just wants something to enjoy and not be tortured with. In fact, he is fine with most things and will always cross a line for his family and close friend, Gallus. Even sadistically so. Life Story 0 - 9 Born in the countryside of Gallovia in Vizia by to a troupe of gypsies, all Evidio knew was just the playful attitude of the lands around him. Evidio did not know his father at all, and did not care. His mother being a Celestial Mage and his father being something else entirely. Besides her, he knew only the family around him, being Nicolo, his older half-brother on his mother's side and his mother who made sure to take care of Evidio. Time went on as he started to be familiar with his troupe and always went around talking to people. He stared at the magic with fear, and just enjoyed himself. At the age of 6, a strange man came in, claiming to be Nicolo’s father, who to keep the family silent, paid for Nicolo’s trip to the School of Turall (Evidio didn’t care much as he barely knew his brother). Evidio started to become more and more extroverted, trying to be the Troupe’s champion. From about 8 to 10, Evidio merely helped around the Troupe. The Troupe ended up going to Drachenwald where Evidio acquired a tutor of the School of Darkmark as well as him being a tutor in fencing, Thomas Griffiths, to help train him at age 10. 10 - 20 When Evidio was eleven, Evidio finally realized why he wanted to focus mostly on fencing, even though his troupe activities made him focus on being Darkmark. He hoped to win a tournament one day so he would spend most of his time travelling from place to place with the troupe, and then focusing on his tutoring. His tutor continued to train him day end and day out, until he reached 20 years old, leaving a scar a few days before he became that age. One day his birthday however, half-brother came back after two years to invite Evidio on a trip to Regalia (The World’s Center to Evidio) and he accepted. 21- Now Once Evidio got to Regalia, he was completely overwhelmed, but enjoyed it. He watched his brother practice swords and thought it was one of the coolest things to see. He began to spend all his time just focusing on either fencing or learning how to be a proper Darkmark. His world revolved around those two, with some off-days which he spent doing Opium and the like. Today, Evidio spends his time being with his brother, and usually practicing fencing and fighting with a shortsword. Usually using it when his new close friend Gallus Tyrannian who treats him well and the man he spent a year stewarding for.
Here's my review Life Story You should state specifically where he was born. His lack of a father and the appearance of an odd figure claiming to be his father is incredibly cliche and should likely be substituted. Evidio having an absolute lack of fear at the age of 13 is borderline power-gamey. Additionally, the whole bit about his uncle being an ex-Helerian who trained him while they were blood-slaves makes no sense given he'd probably be drained of blood and thusly rather exhausted. Moreover, the rather lucky appearance of his half-brother and his ability to kill off every vampire in the troupe (seemingly alone) is not realistic. What was his brother's reason for coming back? Why did he just leave right after despite what happened? All of these are things that make me believe this story isn't ideal for the character, leading to the fact that I want you to change it. Mark these changes in red and tag me when you're done.
My apologizes Valentinian, this was literally the hardest app on Earth for me and Belgrade to make @Valentinian Edits in crimson red - Added the location of his birth -Added clarification of how it was actually Nicolo's father and not Evidio's -Removed this section of vampire attack -Added some parts with fixing of his dressolini fencing and nonsense Thank you so much for taking the time to review this!
*Evidio is a fencing focused character, if you want me to drop him down to Stealthmark Fighter because it makes more sense I am ok with that easy Changed: Aged up two years Changed Arming Sword to Longsword Changed School of Turall Warrior to School of Stealthmark Warrior. Changed tutor to friend in Troupe and not Nicolo Changed all references to Turall to Stealthmark references. Changes done in dark red
Dressolini fencing has no real levels in it, as the article shows the only title is Instroduzione, a term for Master as seen in the Trivia section: https://wiki.massivecraft.com/Dressolini_Fencing Please adjust your application accordingly and tag me when the edit is complete.
The Weapon of Choice still possesses the idea of Fencing as a form of combat, you cannot use anything but a Spadi when playing the sport so it's not even a favored weapon. It is the only one offered, please remove this and then tag me @Nitesho
My Review: Why does Thin Blades have 214 points allocated towards it when that is literally impossible and when he has a School which should be taking 10 points away from the total leaving only 14 left for him? Tag me once the edits are done in green @Nitesho
He cannot have 24 point in Thin Blade an be a participant in a School, not unless you remove the requires ten points from the pool leaving him with 14 points to spend, probably on Thin Blade. Please fix this error.
Please edit the character application to reflect the ten years spent in the School of Darkmark from the age of ten, tag me once this edit has been complete.
@HydraLana Fixed. Makes sense because he was trained to fence and then added he trained with a Shortsword. Removed Darkmark.
@HydraLana Apologizes for my bipolarness, I didn't know tutors were still a thing for the Darkmark school. I changed my app to reflect him being trained in that school, his fencing career and upped his age. Changes made in dark red.
@HydraLana Changes made in dark red Made Enzo a Silven Gave him three magic spells in celestial Changed up the life story to make it fit Changed eye color
@HydraLana Removed thin blades and replaced with Battle Command Fixed his general attitude since he is more nonchalant and more morally ambiguous than I planned. Added his contraction of leprosy. Edits done in red
My Review: Where did you get the number 25 from? From my counting, his Body Stat Calculation should only be at 20. Rogue Training does not feature as part of the Calculation, as can be seen here: https://wiki.massivecraft.com/Proficiency#Body_Shape_.26_Body_Fat Body Build and Weapon of Choice in the Visual Information section is no longer supported by the Character Application Template, please remove them. Tag me once the edits are done in green @Nitesho
