Rejected Sheet Diego Driss "the Vengeful"

Discussion in 'Character Applications' started by DogVibes, Jan 27, 2022.

  1. DogVibes

    DogVibes

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    Diego Driss , The Vengeful

    [​IMG]


    Character Information

    Full Name: Diego El Última Sangre Driss

    Race: Ailor - Warmland

    Age: 42

    Gender: Male

    Sexuality: Find out ICly

    Eye Color: Emerald green


    Core Concept

    He follows the Everwatcher loosely, not directly really interested in religion.

    A brother who lost everything except the one family member he despises the most, so he seeks her out to try to mend the bonds… or break them further.


    Proficiency Information

    Combat
    15 Short Sword [10 Prof]
    8 Shields [8 Prof]

    Hobbies
    15 Cooking Art [10 Hobby , 5 Racial]
    10 Dancing Arts [10 Prof]
    10 Strength Training [5 Prof + 5 Ailor Boost]

    Physical Stat: 30 Phys Capped (Uncapped at 38 + 5 Ailor Boost)


    Ability Information

    Ailor Abilities
    Ailor Familiar - None yet
    Dark Empathy
    Seizing Destiny - +5 Phys
    Seizing Innovation - +5 Strength Training
    People of Many Tongues - None yet

    Shields
    8 Points

    Strength Training
    10 Points

    Languages

    Common (Expert, Free Language)

    Daendroquin (Expert, Parent Language)


    Appearance Information

    Large scar on his chest. Missing his right hand.

    6’0 tanned individual who is built physically, has dark brown ruggish hair, piercing dark green eyes, and thin facial features. He wears mainly cultural Daendroquin clothing, bright colors and often decently showy.


    Life Story

    He was born with only a mother. His father was killed in a fire. He was born in Daen, in a small town with brightly colored buildings and good smelling food. The mother had just lost her daughter, and she raised Diego alone. She gave him the middle name of ‘the last blood’ in Daendroquin.

    He was raised in his missing sister’s shadow. He looked up to her and looked to be just like her. He learned what his father taught her, using a short sword and shields. The boy learned fast. He was additionally taught how to cook and dance from his mother. His lifelong dream was to see his missing sister just once.

    As Diego got older, they assumed his sister, Sivo, was dead. He ended up killing his father’s murderers and took over the business they previously owned. He loved his mother more than anything and took great care of her. However, his sister ended up showing up… he was happy until he saw what she was: a sanguine. This enraged Diego, as he looked up to her his whole life to find she was a demon of the Void. They got into a fight and Diego was stabbed, left for dead by his sister. She fled back to Regalia.

    Diego was rushed to the clinic and with a little help from some clockwork parts, he recovered miraculously. He sought revenge, however he knew he needed to care for his mother, as she was very old. After a few years, his mother passed away. She died of old age. After she passed, Sivo paid a visit for her mother, and Diego sought revenge on her. At the loss of his hand, he forcibly got her cured. She escaped, and fled back to Regalia. Diego had nowhere else to be so he took his sword and shield and moved to Regalia, seeking vengeance for everything his no good sister and clock-bitch husband had done.
     
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    #1 DogVibes, Jan 27, 2022
    Last edited: Apr 3, 2022
  2. Acosmism

    Acosmism Sugar Parental Unit

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    Claimed for review
     
  3. Acosmism

    Acosmism Sugar Parental Unit

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    Please specify the type of Ailor: i.e. warmland, stateland, etc. Judging by their Daen origins you're probably going to want warmland.
    A total of thirty-five points invested in combat alone is a bit much. I request that you remove at least ten points from your combat category.
    Seizing Destiny gives you an additional five points of physical stat, not strength training. You'd still have to purchase the strength training separately.
    I would like for you to tone down on the glorification of your character's backstory a bit. It's one thing to be criminal, but another to be a whole mob boss in a city of thieves; that's a mighty claim, and one we are not comfortable letting slide through without some more validation.

    Mark these changes in a separate color and tag me when you're finished
     
  4. DogVibes

    DogVibes

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    Fixed. Also explained the +5 ailor boost in abilities.
     
  5. Acosmism

    Acosmism Sugar Parental Unit

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    Approved
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1

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