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Played Character Dathil: The Flower Of The Valley

This character is actively played.
SamThing_

SamThing_

Agreed
Supremium
Joined
Feb 16, 2021
Messages
36
Reaction score
58
Points
48
Location
The dumpster
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Credit to Okanara for the beautiful template!! <3

Reserved Extra info!
None of this art is mine, everything has been made by extremely talented and loving friends that I SHOULD pay for their work.
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  • Full Name: Dathil
  • Race: Yanar (Ferlon)
  • Age: 18
  • Gender: Plant
  • Occult: Apprentice Exist Mage

    Dathil is a young-spirited Yanar, forever excited to learn about the world and the people in it. Her cheerful demeanor breathes life into her hopeful ideology, ever striving with the dream of becoming a 'Hero of Aloria'. But with a vague and nigh impossible journey ahead, only time will tell what will come of the to-be hero.
    • Dathil stands at a menacing 152cm, often found wearing dirty and tattered hand-me-downs.
      • Magic: 2
        • Magic Snare
        • Wardrobe Pack (Magical)
        • Magic Smog (Free, Yanar)
      • Strength: 7
        • Bruiser Slam
        • Bruiser Flurry
        • Bruser Feint
        • Bruiser Tackle
        • Bruiser Parry
        • Bruser Agony
        • Bruiser Rampage
        • Weapon Throw (Free)
      • Wisdom: 5
        • Chem Cleanse
        • Chem Bang
        • Technique Parry
        • Chem Revive
        • Chem Bloodboil
        • Chem Mend (Free, Yanar)
          • Common (8/10) Nahuatl (4/10)
            • Dathil is an aspiring hero always intent on saving those in need, lifting her blade against antagonizing individuals.
            • Dathil jumps at the opportunity to learn from others whether it be history, swordsmanship or Arcane, she is an apprentice of the world.
            • Dathil can often be seen in Floral Court, each day on a new quest and happy to greet any new faces in town with a welcoming smile.
            • Dathil, despite her want to save others, often needs guidance or protection from those around her when challenged with difficult problems.
            • Dathil's dream is to save everyone in Aloria. Even the most heartless can be redeemed and called a Friend.
 
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@SamThing_ my review:
  • I'd recommend investing the 14 Proficiency points into the various categories. You do not need to purchase Point Buy Packs if you don't want to, but having at least the 14 points will help your character from being outperformed by virtually every other character on the server and in progressions. The character has had some life experiences, so there should be some more to them just just being more attuned with magic.
  • I'd also recommend adding a native Language besides Common, especially since the character is from Teled Methen. Saan is most likely the more likely of the two, but Altalar is also valid (but only one can be chosen).
That's all I have to add. Let me know if you are content keeping things as is, or if you make the changes. But I highly recommend allocating the 14 points and adding the native Language.
 
Thanks for the quick responds! I am perfectly content with them being outperformed and find it enjoyable, however I will allocate more points in the coming month or so from IC training.
And thanks for pointing out the language part, This was the first character I made so I didn't see the point in language. But this has been a part of the character for the year that I've had them, and I'd rather keep it as is because of it.
I will however try to add a reason for it in the BackStory once I have one!

Ontop of the review could I get a clean up? If it's not too much to ask I'd like to only keep everyone's first responds so; My first Responds to the post. WoodWorks first responds, Lizmun's first and so on (yours too!).
So delete everything but those ones, even this one. It's a weird request but I like looking back at them.

Thanks for the advice and the clean up! @FireFan96
 
SamThing_ said:
Thanks for the quick responds! I am perfectly content with them being outperformed and find it enjoyable, however I will allocate more points in the coming month or so from IC training.
And thanks for pointing out the language part, This was the first character I made so I didn't see the point in language. But this has been a part of the character for the year that I've had them, and I'd rather keep it as is because of it.
I will however try to add a reason for it in the BackStory once I have one!

Ontop of the review could I get a clean up? If it's not too much to ask I'd like to only keep everyone's first responds so; My first Responds to the post. WoodWorks first responds, Lizmun's first and so on (yours too!).
So delete everything but those ones, even this one. It's a weird request but I like looking back at them.

Thanks for the advice and the clean up! @FireFan96
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reapproved and done, but I kept this response for documentation pending the upcoming changes when you next update
 
Heyo, Dathil 'died' and was Wyldbirthed into a new body. This change should last through the Occupation and perhaps a little longer (Unless she's killed again). Aesthetics, Appearance and Proficiencies have changed.
Thank you @FireFan96!
 
Here's my review. While I think I am going to just outright approve it to get the application out the door so you can more proactively use your abilities and at face value there's nothing outright wrong with it. But I will clarify on certain subjects and I would encourage you to read the Yanar page and maybe even the Kathar one more thoroughly to understand their grounding in lore.

SamThing_ said:
Dathil had been heavily injured during her escape, only escaping the Occultist by taking a great leap off a cliff hovering above a valley. This resulted in severe head injuries which lead to memory loss.
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This is a very weird segment of the life story to read and is why I'm inclined to say that you should thoroughly read the Yanar page. Their biology is fundamentally different to a normal person and they're more like constructs than actual people. Like for example, Yanar aren't really.. that susceptible to memory loss via head injury or memory loss in general that isn't either intentional or loss of memory over greater lengths of time. Memory for them isn't really stored in the brain but rather their wyldstone/core/"soul". It's probably easier to interpret the 'brain' of their physical form like a steering wheel than the driver.

SamThing_ said:
Dathil had been heavily injured during her escape, only escaping the Occultist by taking a great leap off a cliff hovering above a valley. This resulted in severe head injuries which lead to memory loss.
She awoke in the endless valley full of lilies and flora. With little to go on of who she was, she began wandering through the wilderness and making it her home. After two years of aimless wandering just trying to stay alive, she found an old sign pointing toward a road. This road lead to Regalia. With nowhere else to go, she followed it, eager to see what the world truly had to offer.
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I think you should clarify more in future iterations of the application of why they chose to stay alive. At face value it would probably be easier to just let themselves die, be reborn and continue on in a fresh uninjured body that's build better to endure harsher conditions. You could instead clarify something more along the lines of being forced to stay alive because they have people who want to shatter their core chasing them throughout the woods so they don't have the opportunity to safely go through rebirth. Also Occultist is sort of vague and a subject you should probably later elaborate on. Because it does matter which God Dathil is being sacrificed to if you're trying to build a concept around something here.

I think that it's fine if you want to intentionally place flaws or handicaps on your character for the sake of an ongoing plot or because it's generally fun, but I also think that if you're going to do it you should do it in a way that makes sense with lore and the race that you're playing. Yanar are very functionally alien and different to other races and it's probably much easier to interpret them more as magical constructs because that's what they are in a way, sort of similar to Bralona but not exactly. You really should take the time some rainy day to sit down and thoroughly read the race's page to familiarize yourself with Yanar's lore. They're very interesting and a very unique race to play. There's a lot more about them you could be capitalizing on what they offer that you couldn't get just by playing an Ailor or Xieloth who really likes nature.
 
Thank you for such a thorough review. First off I like your suggestion about being forced to stay alive as Dathil wouldn't have time to wyldrebirth and your note about specifying which god the Occultists worship. I had already made a ticket about a god that I wanted this to be around but that god would've rejected her as a sacrifice, so I wanted to sit on it for a while. But you are right, in the next update I will fix both of these.

Secondly, I wanted to say that for the first while on Massive, I hadn't read much lore and instead wanted to 'just get on with it'. I have since gone through the Yanar's page in full, but left the backstory how it was because I didn't want to retcon a large part of what made my character. I understand now that there are simple ways of having their concept be lore accurate. So I will add more of how/why they are the way they are. And if it looks like I'm ignoring the work put into the Yanar page, I will try to show it's contents more both IC and on this application because I do genuinely care about the lore.

Thank you for your constructive notes, I will work on them in the future. @Caelamus
 
Hello! I've updated the application, this is basically a rewrite of it. Continuing with this arc I've committed to the idea a bit more and have had to change their name to Rä'Rith as people ic couldn't accept the "Death" of Dathil.
The backstory is the backstory for Rä'Rith who is essentially a different individual, with traces and links to her past. This is an excuse to not write a full backstory for Dathil, it is only a placeholder. This is again a temporary arc, but it will go on for a while longer. @Caelamus
 
Hey, we're back! Basically same as before the occupation.
I tried to shorten and fix the backstory.
Also could you please clean up the replies? Only leave the reserved comment at the top. Thank you! @Caelamus
 
SamThing_ said:
Hey, we're back! Basically same as before the occupation.
I tried to shorten and fix the backstory.
Also could you please clean up the replies? Only leave the reserved comment at the top. Thank you! @Caelamus
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What were the circumstances regarding Dathil's death? I was curious about the funeral and the whole coming back then given Yanar cannot resurrect from death anymore. As this line exists;
"Despite being Ageless, Yanar can die if they are killed by an external force like an accident or violence."

I would really encourage you to familiarize yourself more with lore updates, read the pages and their associated abilities. This update has been around for awhile now.
 
Caelamus said:
What were the circumstances regarding Dathil's death? I was curious about the funeral and the whole coming back then given Yanar cannot resurrect from death anymore. As this line exists;
"Despite being Ageless, Yanar can die if they are killed by an external force like an accident or violence."

I would really encourage you to familiarize yourself more with lore updates, read the pages and their associated abilities. This update has been around for awhile now.
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Rä'Rith was thought to have died, but they Wildbirthed. They weren't injured, and the player story made about them briefly mentions their wildbirth. A few people knew what had really happened, but I made sure to make it vague and, in the player story, use quotation marks when saying Rith died, because it was the 'death' of that personality.

Sorry for the confusion! It was meant to be vague to other players. Hope this clears it up a little. In the future I'll tell you privately if something happens, so there won't be any confusion between us. Thanks for the review and clean up! @Caelamus
 
SamThing_ said:
Rä'Rith was thought to have died, but they Wildbirthed. They weren't injured, and the player story made about them briefly mentions their wildbirth. A few people knew what had really happened, but I made sure to make it vague and, in the player story, use quotation marks when saying Rith died, because it was the 'death' of that personality.

Sorry for the confusion! It was meant to be vague to other players. Hope this clears it up a little. In the future I'll tell you privately if something happens, so there won't be any confusion between us. Thanks for the review and clean up! @Caelamus
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Approved. Although, eh, I do feel the point still stands that "you need to read what abilities do and what the lore is more". The whole funeral event was great and gave other people roleplay but I find it difficult to believe Dathil would have been able to gaslight other Yanar or people who have context about Wyldbirth and what was actually happening into believing a narrative the character was actually dead.

Shock roleplay doesn't really pan out in the long term. My advice would be if you plan to make a sort of transition like that in the future to pursue a hibernation narrative of the character just cocooning themselves somewhere and going away for an extended period of time to return at a later date. That works especially well if you plan to go away for a period of time and return to roleplay on the character later.
 
Caelamus said:
Approved. Although, eh, I do feel the point still stands that "you need to read what abilities do and what the lore is more". The whole funeral event was great and gave other people roleplay but I find it difficult to believe Dathil would have been able to gaslight other Yanar or people who have context about Wyldbirth and what was actually happening into believing a narrative the character was actually dead.

Shock roleplay doesn't really pan out in the long term. My advice would be if you plan to make a sort of transition like that in the future to pursue a hibernation narrative of the character just cocooning themselves somewhere and going away for an extended period of time to return at a later date. That works especially well if you plan to go away for a period of time and return to roleplay on the character later.
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I agree with your second point, but this was to conclude an arc and wasn't solely for my leave. I don't plan on doing something like this again, as that would take away from what had happened and the rp leading up to it. What I meant with my previous post was if there's something not explained to the public, I can tell you to avoid confusion.

Also, Rith never really gaslit anyone. It was an assumption spread by word of mouth, but it had been established early on IC that they were likely going to die due to magical means. But what ability did you think I misread?
 
Hello! Just updated her proficiency as she learned two more spells.
And it got lost in the conversation above, but could you clean up the replies? Only leave the reserved comment at the top, thank you!
@Caelamus
 
SamThing_ said:
Hello! Just updated her proficiency as she learned two more spells.
And it got lost in the conversation above, but could you clean up the replies? Only leave the reserved comment at the top, thank you!
@Caelamus
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Ask me later. I'll approve the app but I have a bit of a backlog to clear through.
 
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