Bringing Back Up Roleplay Anxiety

[embodyingsnow67]

I feel like we need to bring back up roleplay anxiety. I don't know about other people, but I've been out of the roleplay scene for a few months now and I have very bad anxiety over getting back into rp. I'm using what happened to me yesterday as an example. A very close friend of mine wanted to help me get back into roleplay but because of the anxiety, it prevented me from doing so. This was not because of being afraid to roleplay (trust me that's not an issue). It's the fear of roleplaying with new people, and it can cause bad side effects (due to some irl issue i will not get into).
To be honest, it can get as bad as just repeating "I can't I can't i can't" when in reality I know I can. I don't really know what triggered this because this fear has been more amplified then it was a year ago. It's very constricting to me, But I'm planning on working on getting over this fear and hopefully my friend who has been trying to help me will have the patience to walk me through the fear. And if others have the same problem feel free to leave in your own experiences :]

 

[Aespair]

I used to be super scared of RPing with people outside of my little circle of friends, but then I decided that RPing with someone new couldn't possibly do anything bad for me. In other words:

 

[celticwitch]

@embodyingsnow67 - I have the same problem, do not think you're alone on this one. I fear of role-playing with new people & what they'll do or say about myself if I make a mistake. Which is constantly as I am still getting the hang of the server since I came back.

I do honestly try focusing on the bright things that are positive but it remains in the back of my head as a nagging thought.

 

[Enkiduu]

Anxiety is always tough to deal with. Sometimes you just have to force yourself to take a risk and do something. Don't even think about it further, just press enter and let it happen.

If you find yourself thinking too much about it, reason it out. What's the worse that can happen? If you get ignored, don't take it personally and move on. Some people might just not be interested and that's something you can't change. If you make a mistake, realize that no one cares and it'll quickly be forgotten in the same way you yourself probably don't remember or care about every single mistake you've seen others make. Think of mistakes as learning experiences. If you succeed though, that can open up so many possibilities.

It might also help for you to sit down and think about what your fears come from. Is there any specific thing that you're afraid of? If you can pinpoint that, you might be able to think of solutions for it.

 

[Legoclub22]

If you are afraid of Roleplay, just remember, it is only a game. You are just doing it for fun, and if it causes you more anxiety than fun, then it isn't the thing for you. I understand, however, that you don't want to quit Roleplay.

Perhaps a story will help. Once upon a time there was a young boy who loved to build things in Minecraft. One day, however, he was talking to some people in real life about the things he would build, and they discouraged him. They said that he had no talent, and his buildings were terrible.
The next day, when he got on his favorite server, he saw there was a building competition event. If he won the event, he would get a very rare, limited edition item. However, doubting himself, he chose not to join in on the fun.
Instead he just sat and watched it. He missed out on a once in a lifetime chance, all because he doubted himself.
Had he entered the competition, he probably would have won. As the thing that they were having the players build was the thing that the boy specialized in.
Even the losers in the competition got a small prize, they all got a "medal" item, also very rare. But the boy didn't even get that, because he didn't compete.

The moral of this story, you have nothing to lose by playing the game. You have so much to gain though. Don't miss out on the fun, don't be afraid. Just go and have some fun! If you truly like to Roleplay, then you put aside your fear of meeting other people, and you will go Roleplay. Besides, you had to meet your friends somehow, who's to say you wont meet more, or better friends when you go meet more people?

Still not convinced? Maybe another story. A real, personal story, and my own.
One day, I was just outside hanging out, riding my bike. And there were some kids up the street, I didn't want to go meet them, but I did, and one of them turned out to be my greatest friend ever. If I hadn't gone to meet him, then he never would have been my friend.

Most everyone in the Roleplay community is friendly to each other, and are more interested in helping people when they stumble, or make a mistake.
We all want you to see you succeed as much as you want to yourself. We aren't here to break you down when you make a little mistake, we aren't here to hurt your feelings. We want a happy community. And a happy community is a happy me, happy you, and happy Uncle Fred. Who is Uncle Fred? No idea. But that's not the point!
The point is, we want you to have fun Roleplaying with us! We want to have fun Roleplaying with you! Now, I expect to see you at the Tavern! Mention my post and you can even have a drink on me!

 

[Legoclub22]

A little encouraging song, consider the singer is the Roleplay community, asking you to let us in again, to give us a second chance and come Roleplay!

 

[Barsi_]

This is one of the primary OOC reasons I signed up to be a bartender at the Golden Willow. I enjoy helping people engage in roleplay, and I like to help create an environment in which roleplay can easily occur. Ordering a drink is an easy catalyst to roleplay, and your character can often make many friends by sharing a pint with them.

While I can't guarantee that I will be online when you are, if you ever see me (as my character, Charleigh Shawhell) at the tavern, I encourage you to buy a drink.

I always try to engage my customers in conversation, just as you would in a normal bar.

Furthermore, I encourage you to ask the classic "have you heard any rumors?" question, or some variation of it, to me or other bartenders. I always keep 2 or 3 recent world events on hold that Charleigh has "heard" from previous customers, so not only is it a fun way to start discussion of recent events, but it can also be a RP way for your character to learn information about world events that you may only know OOC.

 

[questimrk]

This had somewhat happened to me, because I was deepplly afraid to roleplay with the cool ppls. But whenever I feel this, I try to be brave, and click that enter button. =) <3

 

[Nudibronch]

For me, I have a simple philosophy.

Start.

I'm not trying to say the typical cliché saying "JUST START IT YOU'LL FINISH IT!"

No. When I'm trying to do something I'm scared of, I use a starter word. For instance, if you need to tell someone you broke a glass container, all you have to do is say, "[insert name] today..." And automatically, you'll be forced to continue with the conversation. You're not convincing yourself to actually have a conversation with someone. It's about convincing yourself to press enter.

 

[Legoclub22]

We're all on your side here.

 

[Eccetra]

Oh I feel this on a spiritual level.

I'm have crippling social anxiety irl, and when I first got in to massive I could barely roleplay for more than 10 minutes a day. For quite a few months I lurked around the tavern, and would only really roleplay with small, newish people like me who weren't a part of any big groups. Back then it was mostly maiar in the maiar pool, and I would just do silly, meaningless things like asking them if the water was cold, to spark a little conversation and get some RP down. Even then it took a LOT of courage and self-reassurance to get myself to send that first sentence.

But, as stagnant as it seemed at first, my confidence built up through those little roleplays. People began to notice my presence around the tavern, and I found that I could get in to repeat scenarios with the maiar and that they remembered who I was. I have to give a big thanks to @0romir because he was the first person to actually draw me in to roleplay, which he did by - out of the blue - calling my character to get a free drink at the bar. That one interaction gave me a big boost of confidence, and through that he introduced me to a few friends who I was able to interact with continuously afterwards. Things went on, and over the coming months - even when I took a break from massive for the winter - I managed to make a name for myself. I pushed my way in to people's conversations, got introduced to new people, and opened up an RP shop. Now, about a year-and-a-half on, I'd like to say I'm a pretty well known member of the community.

In short my advice is this: keep going, and keep trying.
Even when it feels like people are ignoring you or nobody knows you, keep trying to get yourself out there. Roleplay to yourself as silly as that sounds, invite random people in the tavern for a drink, get yourself in to a sticky situation and call for people to help. It's true that it wont always work, but sometimes - it will. And from those interactions you can spark acquaintances, and then friendships, and then you'll find yourself introduced to other people, and possibly even make OOC friendships! It's difficult and anxiety-provoking to make that first move, but you'll feel awesome afterwards.

If you can muster up the courage just yet, try lurking. Watch other people's roleplays, see how other people get themselves in to situations and get tips on how to write more fun and fluent actions. Post on the forums, in general or forum roleplays. People will begin to recognise your name, and then when they see you in game they'll think: "Hey, I know that person." It takes time and a lot of effort, but with perseverance you will get known, and you'll find yourself climbing those social ladders before you know it.

A final thing I want to add is that anybody is free to come and roleplay with me. I never ignore anyone on purpose, and I love helping new people.
Keep at it, friend. I believe in you!

 

[Bensonio]

Oh I feel this on a spiritual level.

I'm have crippling social anxiety irl, and when I first got in to massive I could barely roleplay for more than 10 minutes a day. For quite a few months I lurked around the tavern, and would only really roleplay with small, newish people like me who weren't a part of any big groups. Back then it was mostly maiar in the maiar pool, and I would just do silly, meaningless things like asking them if the water was cold, to spark a little conversation and get some RP down. Even then it took a LOT of courage and self-reassurance to get myself to send that first sentence.

But, as stagnant as it seemed at first, my confidence built up through those little roleplays. People began to notice my presence around the tavern, and I found that I could get in to repeat scenarios with the maiar and that they remembered who I was. I have to give a big thanks to @0romir because he was the first person to actually draw me in to roleplay, which he did by - out of the blue - calling my character to get a free drink at the bar. That one interaction gave me a big boost of confidence, and through that he introduced me to a few friends who I was able to interact with continuously afterwards. Things went on, and over the coming months - even when I took a break from massive for the winter - I managed to make a name for myself. I pushed my way in to people's conversations, got introduced to new people, and opened up an RP shop. Now, about a year-and-a-half on, I'd like to say I'm a pretty well known member of the community.

In short my advice is this: keep going, and keep trying.
Even when it feels like people are ignoring you or nobody knows you, keep trying to get yourself out there. Roleplay to yourself as silly as that sounds, invite random people in the tavern for a drink, get yourself in to a sticky situation and call for people to help. It's true that it wont always work, but sometimes - it will. And from those interactions you can spark acquaintances, and then friendships, and then you'll find yourself introduced to other people, and possibly even make OOC friendships! It's difficult and anxiety-provoking to make that first move, but you'll feel awesome afterwards.

If you can muster up the courage just yet, try lurking. Watch other people's roleplays, see how other people get themselves in to situations and get tips on how to write more fun and fluent actions. Post on the forums, in general or forum roleplays. People will begin to recognise your name, and then when they see you in game they'll think: "Hey, I know that person." It takes time and a lot of effort, but with perseverance you will get known, and you'll find yourself climbing those social ladders before you know it.

A final thing I want to add is that anybody is free to come and roleplay with me. I never ignore anyone on purpose, and I love helping new people.
Keep at it, friend. I believe in you!

Click to shrink...

I feel this too. Ecc was so timid and quiet, and ever since we first had a spout of role-play, she's grown in ability and confidence so far as I see. It may be difficult but it really does help to keep at it!

 

[Beetletoes]

Evolution of Squeaker:
Tavern > Anywhere but the Tavern > Sewers open, new home! > Tavern again because no sewers in Regalia V2 yet > Sewers open. There again > Maybe going above?

In short, I just feel more comfortable in small groups of like-minded people. So the tavern's kinda hard, but I'm slowly getting used to it.

 

[embodyingsnow67]

Evolution of Squeaker:
Tavern > Anywhere but the Tavern > Sewers open, new home! > Tavern again because no sewers in Regalia V2 yet > Sewers open. There again > Maybe going above?

In short, I just feel more comfortable in small groups of like-minded people. So the tavern's kinda hard, but I'm slowly getting used to it.

Click to shrink...

Same with me, but I want to break out of that and be around other people besides people that I know/ rped with. It'll take a little bit of time but it'll be worth it in the end

 

[OrigamiCats]

I want to RP with people I know/my little circle of friends, but they're not really on a lot so I feel lonely. I also get kind of intimidated at the tavern because everyone there is either noble, or already in a group.

 

[celticwitch]

Same with me, but I want to break out of that and be around other people besides people that I know/ rped with. It'll take a little bit of time but it'll be worth it in the end

Click to shrink...

I came back to only 2 people I knew. I'm still figuring things out too and it's always worth it in the end. Come rp with me sometime & you too @OrigamiCats. We suffer the same problem so why don't we figure out something together?

@anyonelsewhohasthesameproblem