Are You A Go- Between? Think Twice.

[MrHappyTinkles]

So what is a go-between in this context?

It is someone who acts as a 'messenger' for one party to send a message to another because direct communication is unfavorable. It sounds innocent enough, right?

It isn't when the intentions of the sender is malicious or insincere.

Go-betweens in this community are often used when someone wants a message sent to someone who is ignoring or blocking them. In most cases, the people who are relaying messages from one person to another are not aware of the context which caused the /ignore or blocking to occur in the first place. There is a reason why people proactively choose to ignore a certain individual. To send messages through this block of communication is a direct violation of someone's wishes to ignore the sender and whatever they might say, possibly encouraging a case of harassment or cyber-bullying that you can't see.

At the end of the day, sincerity is the cornerstone of mending relations with others. It requires thoughtfulness and consideration for people to express their reproach and ask for forgiveness - not just to the offended party, but to others who could otherwise be uninvolved. When someone is asking for you to send a message from one person to another, they are indirectly involving you in its intention as well. And thus, if the contents of the message are harmful, you are responsible for carrying this harm to its target.


If someone approaches you, asking desperately that you send some words (Oftentimes obscure or cryptic messages) to someone, please stop yourself and ask them the following:


-Why can't they send this message directly?

-Why is it so important that this message is sent through a third party?

-If this message is so important, what is stopping them from contacting them publicly or through any neutral channels?


And meanwhile, I urge you ask yourself this:

Do I want to be involved?

While your intentions may have been without malicious intent, your actions may encourage them. Please be considerate of everyone, no matter the circumstances.

 

[MonMarty]

Alternatively I would add:

- Could it be the case that the person approaching me is misrepresenting the facts and asking me to do something I would not if I had all the facts in front of me telling me a different story.

Remaining critical, even of your friends, is not a sin or you being rude. It's helpful to avoid being made out to be a fool or a tool.

 

[Magivore]

I can honestly admit that I've done the above a couple times. These really are something that sneaks up on you if you don't really spend time on them, and I will also admit it has made me look like a fool and a tool to people I didn't want to hurt when it did some severe damage to a surprisingly large group of people... more than once, too! It can't get much worse than making the same mistake a couple times. I don't regard myself as unintelligent, but specifically doing the last of the above made me feel, and to some has forever made me look, as stupid as can be. Although one of the least common things I see done against others on the server after about 4+ years, it is good that someone got to say that it can be one of the most hurtful.

 

[Kaezir]

If you don't want to talk to someone, don't do it. Whether it be through other people or not. And you know what, it's fine to remove yourself from socializing with certain others. That being said, I don't understand thing devolving to such a degree in the first place. Positivity takes you leaps and bounds. Ignoring situations is only going to cause them to break down even further.

Plain and simple I live by this; You don't have to be friends with everyone, but you should get along with them. Especially when you are going to find yourself with them in several situations.