Basic Information Full Name: Annelie Toril Sarthyra-Thibault Alias: Mayafay Sarthyra Age: 62 Gender: Female Race: Shenath Kathar (Formally Apostle Manathar/Born Velheim-Kathar Halfbreed) Preferd Weapons: Cestus ⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅Skill Information Total Prof Points: +50 Remaining Points: +8 Core Group: Fist Combat: +20 Sorcery: +12 Talent Group: Strength Training: + 10 (+5 Age +5 Talent) Burgling Rouge: +10 (+ 5 Age +5 Talent) Hobby Group: Dancing Art: +10 (+5 Hobby +5 Racial) Body Art: + 5 (+5 Hobby) Physical Stat: Fist Combat: 20 Strength Training: 5 Total: 25 Body Shape: Ripped Body Fat: Low Body Fat Languages Common: Fluent Skode: Fluent (From her Father) Kathar Elven: Fluent (From her Mother) Spells and Mutations Spirit Sorcery: Your Will is Mine Construct of Tranquilty Overwhelming Force Spirit Sorcery Aesthetics: Fired for Battle Faces of Life Beastly Connection (Medskala) Elemental Sorcery: (Two levels invested from Mageblooded) Elemental Branding Elemental Intercept Elemental Slide Elemental Sorcery Aesthetics: Primal Design Elemental Bending Elemental Influence ⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅Visual Information Eye Color: Jade Green (Slit Pupils from Sorcery) Hair Color: Snow White Hair Style: Pulled up into a short ponytail Skin Color: Ash Grey Clothing: Light and simple Height: 6’8” ⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅ Personality and Abilities Alignment: Chaotic Neutral Personality Type: The Entrepreneur Religion: Non-Religious Relationships Joasaie Lloablen: (@JokerLupus ) Joa is an enigma for Annie, normally having nothing but a passing feeling for someone after the passing of Rosa. But this Yanar has seemed to capture the Manathar's heart, around her Annie has trouble holding her composure, almost seeming like a different person when she's with her. Perhaps Joa was finally the one to tame the beast? Seraphina von dere Ebene: (@WereNoodle ) While Sera may not be aware of it at present, Annie holds a connection to her that could pose problematic. Before her conversion Annie attacked Sera and her loved ones several times, as well as worked under her within the Piergarten guard. Though she has turned over a new leaf at this point, the tensions can still rise. Azsh'alla Baal'ial: (@Havsbris_ ) Azsh is Annie's commander among the Gilded Templars and is one of the few people Annie has given her complete respect and devotion too. She sees Azsh as a powerful and strong leader. Malyrra Hállëvandëia: (@Dragonn_ ) Mally, she was the first Manathar that Annie properly spoke with and was incidentally the one to explain the Xenophane as well as the entire race too her. Valarosta Baal'ial: (@Athelois ) Vala has quickly become somebody that Annie holds deep respect for. Even with the small amount they've talked, she can still respect the authority and position that she holds. She chooses to follow this woman's lead and example not just because she is her captain but because she believes the Manathar to be a good teacher. Spoiler: Old Template Paragraphs First Paragraph: To many Anne’s first impression is nothing good. She comes off as a brash, hot head, or even downright rude. Being one to very easily be set off the walls or possibly jump into a fight without any context or idea of what's going on. And all of this is for good reason, Anne is very easily what one would call “Rough around the edges”. While she means good and has a few sick tendencies she is right in her own mind. With her own set or morals that are just a bit outside of the norm. Now this doesn't mean that she has no self control, but it's very obvious when she is trying to hold herself back. Often looking impatient and on the edge, like an adrenaline junkie staring at a new roller coaster. Second Paragraph: Anne is very confident in herself, almost too confident. Often times she over estimates her own skills and ends up getting herself into a tight situation. However she is never one to back down, even when squaring up with somebody twice her size she will stand by her belief that backing down is the weakest thing somebody can do. This is not to say she doesn’t have fears however, Anne is afraid of many things and the biggest one is her own past. Having only the memories of her days as a slave and a pit fighter she doesn’t really know much outside of that. And when she is presented with the thought of anything outside of it then she becomes nervous and afraid of that unknown. Third Paragraph: Due to Anne growing up the way she did she doesn’t have much difference between how she’s seen by friends or family and how she’s seen by strangers. Often acting on the first thing that comes to mind regardless of who it is. However there is one small difference that she shows with those who are able to get close enough to her, and that’s that she will let her guard down around them slightly. It’s not intentional, but more so a natural reaction she has with them. She is also often more controllable, listening more often to those she holds close. Where a stranger would struggle to even keep Anne from punching somebody in the face, a friend could possibly make her even sit in one place for more then five minutes. Another thing is that she is very protective of those she calls friends, even down right possessive of them. Fourth Paragraph: Annie is corrupt in every sense of the word, while she comes off as a loud mouthed idiot who is ready to get into a fight at the drop of a hat. She is also one that will take a sick pleasure in beating somebody to the brink of death or even beyond should she get carried away in a fight. Spending so much time growing up in fighting pits where you don’t leave until somebody is dead, leaves one torn and twisted in the head. And it has very clearly done so to this young girl. This sick and twisted mentality has left a lot of blood on Anne's hands through the years and at her point in life now, she enjoys it. She is what one might call a 'walking time bomb', never really knowing when she might go off on somebody. ⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅ Life Story {Disclaimer} Before reading this backstory I would like to give a small disclaimer. This has to be one of the darkest short stories I've ever written and it might hit some strong cords with people. If you are squeamish or easily disturbed then I recommend avoiding this one. For sake of reading and to just help sum things up, I've left a bullet list of her entire backstory below. Annie was kidnapped at a young age thrown into slavery where she met her friend Rosa, a deaf Avanthar that she was able to communicate with through very simple hand gestures that only conveyed simple messages like 'Hello' and 'How are you?'. She spent the next five years of her life bouncing between different owners, managing to get to stick with Rosa the entire time. Something that would be a staple for her the rest of her life, the woman being a way for her to stay sane while enslaved. But also a figment of her slowly losing a grasp on reality once she was free. Rosa and Annie both ended up with one owner that they ended up staying with most of their lives. Which meant everything for the both of them, having found it difficult to be apart from each other for too long at this point. Rosa and Annie were both taught how to fight and kill at a young age from a private tutor in what Annie refers to as "The Pits". A fighting arena for slaves to slaughter one another for the sport of depraved aristocrats. Annie’s training in the pits was a bit different than Rosa’s. Her owner wanted to make sure that he would win any bet that crossed his table. So he employed a Sorcerer to educate and help Annie master the more Spiritual skills involved in it. She was taught how to effectively mix the magic with her fighting and become a force of nature within the pits. Often with her style of fighting mixed with the look of her sorcery she'd be called "The Pit Dragon". Annie started to get a sick love for fighting in the pits, and to this day still can end up losing herself in a near trance when in a fight. Unable to control herself she gains tunnel vision and will continue to beat somebody until they are either dead or she's pulled off of the victim. Rosa and Annie would begin to slowly develop feelings for one another during their time together. The two of them doing everything they could to make sure that their love remained a secret, knowing that if they were found it would be the literal death of them. On the last day of their training they were forced to fight each other where Annie ended up winning but at the cost of being forced to kill Rosa. Though Annie was easily able to overwhelm her with her advanced training, the woman put up no fight. And instead simply let Annie win the fight, choosing her lover’s life over her own. In Annie's rage and grieving she burnt down the house that had her slave owner and his family in it. Feeling little to no remorse or pity for any inside, this meant to signify that Annie has lost her ability to really feel sympathy and could be potentially dangerous. The family pet at that house was a Calemberg Adelaar that Annie had taken with her as she left, keeping it around as a helpful companion. Seeing the utility in having a trained falcon follow her around. As Annie has grown older and experienced more of Regalia and the world of Aloria, she’s started to become more educated through her own means. Dabbling in various forms of arts, studies, and certain events. Most of these were out of her own curiosity. However, many of these have been caused by a desperate attempt to revive her once-beloved friend Rosa. Searching for anything that would have a small lead to the secrets to restore the dead to their former state. During Annie's time studying she had stumbled across the knight group known as the Viridian Order, as she did more research into this, even though just surface level, she came across the deceased Paladin known as Marcus Thibault. It took a bit of digging but she was able to learn that this man had in fact been her father, but the location of his daughter was never known. After years of traveling and scratching at the underbelly of the world, Annie had finally grown tired of her life and the visions of her past that haunted her. Sick of the torment and torture, fully wishing and praying to any god that would listen, to give her a second chance. A chance to start over again. Though she has tried to start again among surface folk and live peacefully, it would seem that chance had yet to approach her. Until one day she had happened upon the Manathar, this race of people seemed to offer her the chance to start anew. And after devoting herself to their beliefs and going through the transformation she had finally felt free of her past. However, during a test to see if Annie was still fit to be called Manathar, she failed. Forced to choose a new race and leave behind what she thought was a new start. After making her choice she decided that she would leave Regalia and continue her travels. Going off to explore the world while furthering her training, as well as searching out the homeland of the race she chose so that she may learn the new abilities and some of the history she was now forced to live in. Spoiler: Read Disclaimer The smell was rotten, festering, it stuck to the inside of her nose and made her wretch, tears soaked her face as she stared at the blazing inferno. But her eyes held no grieving, no sadness or regret. No, they only held a deep and cold loathing rage for the screams she heard from within the engulfed building. The cries both big and small brought the young woman to a sense of relief, joy even, the tears coming from a sickened satisfaction of their smell as they cooked within. ~*~*~*~*~*~ Our story takes place fifteen years prior to this event however, with a young girl named Annelie, and a large man known as Marcus. The streets were growing dim, hearths were being lit and even though all the children were heading home there was but one little girl who was not so ready to end the night. Little Annelie Thibault had spotted a neighborhood stray cat and had taken off after it, loosing her father Marcus in the streets. When he finally caught sight of her she had already been tucking into an ally, in hot pursuit of the little ball of fluff. He gave chase, the man was large but used to running. When Anne heard him call out she only started to run quicker, fearing she was going to get in trouble for taking off. However, as she rounded a corner into a darker part of the ally she was faced with another large man, not as big as her father but close. He towered over the child and looked down at her with a jagged and snaggle toothed grin, but the sound of father bear quickly sent the man on alert, pulling up his hood and grabbing Anne by the arm. She screamed, screamed as loud as she could and emptied her lungs of every bit of breath she could, but soon felt the cold sting of metal dig into her neck. A light warmth trickled down her neck as her father rounded the same corner as she, his breath ragged and heavy. But before he could act there was suddenly a bright flash of light and the next thing Anne saw was just more allies, whizzing by as the man carried her away. The feet of her dress snagged on something and she felt a light tug, she knew for a moment that she was no long in the man’s arms, but before she could try and even think of what to do everything went black. When she woke up, her dress was torn, hands and feet shackled together and locked in a cage. She could smell the sea, salt filled her nose and everything around her swayed and rocked. It took her a moment to realize that it wasn’t just her vision, but instead everything around her was swaying. As quick as she realized this she heard a groan behind her, the pained whimpers of another child. Anne wasn’t alone, no she shared a cage with another young girl who couldn’t hear, an Avanthar girl that she called Rosa. A simple name she came up with from the rose patterned dress that she wore. As the years went on Anne learned that the people who had taken her didn’t plan to keep her, she was sold from person to person, never getting to stay long enough in one place to call it home. However, she never lost Rosa, the halfling’s only sense of family that she seemed to have left, stuck with her through every house and twisted sick family who came near her, the disgusting wealthy hands that touched them. It wasn’t until almost five years after Anne was taken that Rosa and herself would finally be brought into a home that was going to hang onto them for many years. And while this may be a satisfaction for some, for Anne it was where her life was going to flip, twist and break her soul down piece by piece. It wasn’t long after being taken in that Rosa and Anne were thrown into a fighting pit with another woman, one built like a house covered in scars. Every day, of every month, of every year for ten years, Anne and Rosa were forced to fight with this woman as she taught them how to fight, a bastardized version of what she has still yet to realize to this day was the way of the Strynger. When they weren’t fighting her they would be fighting other kids their age, not allowed to leave that hellish ring until one of them was no longer moving, and Anne was always the one to leave that ring. However, after five years of it, five years of fighting for her life day in and day out, she started to grow numb to it, and after another five...she started to like it. After so many years, so many deaths and brutal fighting she was subjected to Rosa and Anne had all but forgotten their pasts, only knowing each other. But if you asked Anne, she would tell you that her past was hell every single part of it except for one thing, Rosa. You see over the years the bond of friendship between Rosa and Anne had grown stronger and strong, while this was hard with Rosa’s inability to hear, the two had started using hand gestures to convey simple messages. Things like ‘Hello’, ‘How are you?’, ‘Are you okay, and…’I love you’. Often the two would sneak out of the house to go spend a night in the city, exploring and drinking, getting into trouble and just enjoying being together. To Anne, Rosa was her world, the only bit of salvation and light she could ever hope to must and it was the same for Rosa. They both knew that lashings would come the next morning if they were found out but to them, it was worth it so long as they were together. It was on their last night of training that Rosa and Anne lay in bed and held each other close, Anne’s fingers laced through chopped raven locks, nuzzled into each other’s arms they were unaware that this would be the last they would see of each other. When Anne awoke she was alone, Rosa nowhere to be found. However this was nothing new, she was most likely taken to the pits before her. After she finished getting ready she did as she was always told, get ready for the pits, after all there was money to be made. As Anne stepped into the ring she couldn’t believe what she had seen, she felt like her eyes were betraying her. On the other side, stood an Avanthar, chopped...raven colored locks, bright blue eyes stared at her with a look of sadness but a smile sat on those perfect lips. She forced herself to pry her attention from the Nelfin and up to the crowds above, eyes beamed down at her in anticipation, she knew that if she didn’t do this then it only meant death for them both. As the fight began, the world seemed to slow down for Anne. She couldn’t move right, or rather, she couldn’t control her movements. Still in shock by what was happening her fists moved on their own, quickly bringing the Avanthar to the ground and only coming back to her senses once she was on top of her. Rosa, beaten, bruised and on the brink of death, looked up at Anne with swollen features and weakly moved her hands up. She made a few small gestures that, to everybody else around her meant nothing, but to the person they were meant for, Anne, she knew. They were gestures she had seen so many times in the years they had been here, and she knew at that moment, they were the last she would them. And with a gentle smile, and a small nod, Rosa said her farewells, and Anne ended the fight. The night Anne’s bed was cold, soaked with sweat, blood and tears she grieved over the loss of the only one she ever had left in this world. Rage swarmed the girl, a fire bellowed deep within her stomach and boiled every vein in her body as she threw herself out of bed. She crept her way through the house, careful not to wake anyone as she first released the slaver’s family bird. As Anne crept through the house, shutting and blocking every known exit, she passed by all the rooms. The master room, where the twisted monster lived, the children’s room where the spawn of the beast sleep peacefully. One may feel pity for such small children, who know not what was happening, how they were getting their food and home. However, Anne’s heart had frozen over, become a solid brick of pure rage and hatred for everything in that house...including the body in which it slept. After she finished blocking up every window and door she light the fireplace, doused the furniture in lamp oil and stood in the front door with lantern in hand. After only a brief moment of thought, a moment of silence for all the lives lost, she threw the lantern into the home. The shattering of the glass stirred someone upstairs but it was already too late, the fire quickly caught and spread, engulfing the house in a blazing inferno. However, as she turned to leave one of the windows shattered and a flash of the flames came bursting her way. She wailed in pain as she fell to the ground, kicking the door shut, the boxes she had leaning against it quickly fell to block it from being opened. As her face smoldered she laid there sobbing in pain, but watched the fire burn, the wails of those damned inside and the pounding of the door only lasted for so long before the only thing she could hear were the crackles of the fire. A smell that she would never forget quickly made her nearly wretch the lunch she lost prior. A few hours after the fire had dwindled out, Anne had started making her way for town. What town she did not know, but as she walked down that dirt road a sense of freedom washed over her. However, this was quickly replaced with a grieving pain as she remembered what she had lost, what she will never get back. She heard the cry of an Eagle above, and as she looked up she spied the family bird she had released, following her overhead. As she looked forward she could see a small village in the distance, and she quickly started to speed up her pace. As Anne’s life went on she would travel the lands, meet new people, never staying in one place or with one group of people long enough to call a place home. Until after two short years of this she would turn her eyes on Regalia, with her pet raptor in tow, she made way. She didn’t know what lay ahead, all she knew was that a new adventure awaited . Spoiler: Short Stories Ghosts of Our Pasts The Shadows that Haunt Us Another Turn of the Page
I'm glad you like it!! This has to be my favorite app to have worked on and I feel REALLY proud of it. I'm expecting a lot of edits and changes to be made though.
Peer Review!: Basic Information Specify if she's half human or half-elf. You gotta base your proficiencies off this choice. Personality And Abilities You should expand this by a sentence or so, maybe even two if you're up for it! Paragraph four sounds a bit ruthless to be "corrupt in a subtle way". Beating someone to the brink of death is pretty bad, and doing it more then once is downright screwed up and evil. I'd recommend a Chaotic Neutral or Chaotic Evil alignment if you've played DND. Life Story This is way too long. Very well written but way too long. You should create a 900-word minimum summary this one exceeds 1500 words. Make a summary of her life story rather, then paste the second in a spoiler named. "Life Chronicles" Other than that this app looks well done.
@Vegemiite Should let you know that I threw up a quick bullet list that sums up the giant wall of text I put for her backstory. @DeltaInsomnia Thank you for the Peer Review. I will be sure to get to adding on those extra writings when I'm not so dead. If Vege gets to me before that then I will edit accordingly. <3
Changed and updated for new Profs. Or atleast I hope so...I was a bit confused by the new system. I am expecting edits needed. <3
Review! Welcome back! First thing's first, Schools no longer offer proficiency boosts (In this case your +30). They're simply an IC means of learning a certain combat style whilst following a certain combat code. In your case, you would keep the +10 Racial Boost (Unarmed) and have 22 Free Points (From her age) to distribute in any Proficiency of your choosing. It's not locked to the School your character attends, but it simply makes the most sense. Feel free to look at other recently approved applications for assistance, or ask me anything here! Tag me once you've made the following edits, @Ynzy !
@TheBioverse Hey! Thanks so much, it's good to be back. Clearly I have some readjusting to do lol. But I took care of those edits, tell me what cha think. <3 Also I aged her up some to add on a couple other profs and just try and flesh things out a bit more, and to make room for if I want to expand on her stuff some.
@TheBioverse Made some edits to the application. I bumped up her age by 20 years as well as made the needed edits for the half race changes.
@TheBioverse Sorry for the tag, but I made some edits to the character now that she is a Manathar. I am planning to write out a short story going into more detail on her intentions for converting. But I summed them up roughly in the bullet list. All the changes have been made in RED
@TheBioverse Hey Bio, so I understand that you are pretty busy right now but I would like to consult you directly regarding this character. Given her history and how she was raised I'm not really sure how to allocate her points. Since she was half ailor prior to her Manathar conversion she would go off the half race Proficiency limits. However the issue is with her background she wasn't exactly raised in an Ailor culture. She was raised in slave trade and fighting pits. Tldr: I was hoping I could get a bit of help/advice on where to lump my character?
As you said he's probably busy, don't want to be rude but I think you should just create a ticket with the discord ticket bot, or ask in the player help chat located in the role-play discord group, sorting out which points you think would suit your character isn't staffs job, it's to approve apps (among other things) but I can assure you there would be a bunch of people willing to help you out if you do choose to ask the discord community. If you're not accustomed to using discord/ do not want to I believe consulting your friends/others on the actual server is your best bet rather then giving staff one more thing to worry about.
@TheBioverse This App has been updated to the new format, as well as a few grammatical errors as well as more detailed explanations added to the Backstory bullet list.
@TheBioverse Made an edit to the total stat points. Had originally put 90 before I realized how the caps work.
@TheBioverse Boy, am I sure you're sick of hearing from me. I made some heavy edits to her this time around. I've changed up her profs. Added in a few changes to race as well as added to Backstory to account for her recently taking on an Avanthar Guise. (Not sure what to properly call it.) I also added a new section to her backstory about joining the Bloodcast. This was something being recommended to me over and over so I decided to go with it. If possible it would be nice if you could look over the bullet points in the backstory and just give me piece of mind that they are okay. Since a few spots I expanded on, something I've been meaning to do for a while. I also removed where she was trained in the school of LecGaen and instead made her training sound more like she just learned how to street fight rather than properly fight. This is mainly because I don't know if you're allowed to have two fighting schools. I went through and colored all the changes in blue, but if I missed something or need to edit something just let me know. Truly I do appreciate the help Bio.
Hello, I'll be getting right into the review! Please change your visual section to be updated to her now being an Avanthar. Also, do change her race to Avanthar with what she was previously. Make these changes in green and tag me when you're finished. @Ynzy
@Nesstro Heya Ness, did those edits for you. I also broke the tag on it, the only way I can edit the page without breaking all the spoilers on it is through the "More Options" section. Sorry about that.
@Nesstro So, I made some edits to her app. Pretty much I took out the parts where she is a Bloodcast and instead wrote her around to be a Sorcerer/Brawler. I made the changes in her backstory blue but forgot to do it too the new abilities. Though I think they are a bit obvious.
@Nesstro Made some small edits to her race and physical appearance to match. As well as removed the Manathar stuff from her backstory. Though I did keep relations with them the same. I just redacted her ever converting.
