Preserved Sheet Álvaro De Santigo

This sheet was missing a prefix or has not been edited for a long period of time. Please create a ticket including a linkif your sheet was moved in error.
@prem_
I am literally the worst. Everything's looking good here now, so I can mark Alvaro once again...

☼ Approved! ☼​
 
@Staff Roleplay

In need of a reviewer, if anyone was familiar with Álvaro's app before I've changed the name back to de Santigo, fixed the proficiencies for this version and tweaked the life story a tad. Everything else remains the same.
 
Here is my review:

Basic Information
  • You have Alvaro listed as a Lusitsian Ailor, but for sake of clarity and following the Proficiency Page's list of cultures, I'd mark him down as Daendroquin Ailor.
Visual Information
  • Go ahead and remove the Body Build bullet point from this section since the Skill Information section now includes this information.
Personality and Abilities
  • In your first paragraph, I would like for you to elaborate on the two sides of the coin here. List a couple of specific behaviors he might normally exhibit when in his laid back mood, and to draw a comparison, include some behaviors he might display when in his cranky mood. I would put these before the last sentence.
  • In your second paragraph, go ahead and elaborate on a couple of specific insecurities. This is just so we get a clearer image of what burdens him.
  • In your third paragraph, I'd like to see some more detail concerning his behavior towards his sons, since you especially list them as a singular factor that take a priority in his life. Think about how his personality and actions around them would vary greatly from how he behaves around anyone else.
Make your edits in a legible blue and tag me when you've completed them. @prem_
 
@MantaRey

Rejigged some profs and body build stuff, shouldn't need a re-review I don't think but all the edits are in pink.
 
@MantaRey

More prof changes
-5 thin blades combat, -5 unarmed combat, +10 sailing knowledge
-5 physical stat.
 
I did a 16p test for the new app format and I wanted to leave this here to remind myself that Álvaro is apparently 82% judging and 78% assertive and I thought it was funny what an ass hole he is
 
Here's my re-review:
  • Main Ambition isn't a part of the template anymore. You can replace this with Sexuality if you so choose. You should move the Preferred Weapon of Choice point up to Basic Information.
  • You haven't included Body Stat, Shape, or Build under Skill Info. Please do so.
Make your edits in a different color and tag me when you're done. @fuithlug
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom