Rejected Sheet Zzastrall Ssiazza, The Capra Demon

Discussion in 'Character Applications' started by Deusphage, Dec 28, 2020.

  1. Deusphage

    Deusphage Total Misplay

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    Basic Information (Required)
    The following is required when filling out your character application. Please use a Bullet Point list.Try to keep the information here as simple and confined as possible, it's supposed to be a short list.
    • Full Name: Zzastrall Ssiazza
      • Alais: The Capra Demon
    • Age: 34
    • Gender: Extraordinarily difficult to discern
      waman
    • Race: Mai-Allar (Barbeled Dragonfish [Malacosteus])
    • Sexuality:
      Demisexual
      [​IMG]
    • Preferred Weapon: Three-pronged Trident

    Skill Information (Required)
    The following is required when filling out your character application. Please use a Bullet Point list.Try to keep the information here as simple and confined as possible, it's supposed to be a short list. Also be sure to use a bolded header to separate Proficiency Points, Body Shape, and Languages.

    Total Points: 50 Core + 10 Hobby
    • Melee Combat | Spear - 10 Core + 5 Racial
    • Melee Combat | Fist - 4 Core
    • Special Combat | Shield - 12 Core
    • Ranged Combat | Light Ranged - 8 Core
    • Nature Art | Hunting - 10 Hobby
    • Nature Art | Sailing - 10 Core
    • Special Training | Strength Training - 6 Core
    Body Shape
    • 30 Physical Stat (Racial Cap)
    • Muscular Body Shape
    • Low Body Fat
    Languages
    • Common (Free)
    • Zasta (Parent)
    Special Traits/Spells/Mutations
    • Mutations:
      • Monster Cho'Roq
        • Monster Flaying
        • Monster Patching
        • Monster Shaping
        • Monster Eyes
      • Void Threlwar (Forced)
        • Void Rift
      • Exist Lavvanya
        • Exist Ocular
    • Cahal Base Kit
    • Scor Cahal Kit
    Visual Information (Required)
    The following is required when filling out your character application. Please use a Bullet Point list. Try to keep the information here as simple and confined as possible, it's supposed to be a short list.
    • Eye Color: Azure
    • Hair Color: None, Mai-Allar.
    • Hair Style: None, Mai-Allar.
    • Skin Color: Inky black (Barbeled Dragonfish)
    • Clothing: Usually scraps, however, they may also wear suspenders with high pants and tall boots that fit their feet, as well as a bowtie made from seaweed. Don't ask them how many times it took to tie it with their clumsy digits.
    • Height: 6'7''
    Personality (Required with Choice)
    Option Two: The Core List

    • Choose your Character Alignment
      • Lawful Evil
    • Choose your Character Personality Type
      • Executive ESTJ-T
    • Choose your Character's Religion
      • 0/10 Creature, Devotion to Exist Colossi.
    Likes
    • Swimming and skulking within water
    • Homocide.
    Dislikes
    • Conforming to societal standards and rules.
    • Most sanguine.
    • Talking outside of their own terms, however, they are rather talkative when left chat away.

    Life Story (Required)
    Early experimentation conducted with the chief purpose of the reconstruction of the body lended to an invariable, unabating failure. Attempts to somehow rekindle life from death were sparked about by an ambition so broad it consumed all form of regular rational and cogent reasoning, however the former evidence of the impossible being truly unobtainable and out of reach was nothing to dissuade the efforts of the manic, pathologically obsessive Ailor's work. While her eager aspirations that had initially drawn her into this morbid vocation were reeled in with the purpose of achieving a least a singular instance of success, the zeal for the creation of something greatly monstrous took hold over beginning within humility.
    The Allar was of a typical breed, nothing special nor remarkable, and the Ailor whom worked upon it took a particular favor in remarking upon its relative "unintelligent cognition" and "capacity for higher judgement". She hadn't the care where it was from, nor its status or ties to the city, what Anije saw was an opportunity, a right set of circumstances to lend to a first success in a humanoid specimen. While born within Regalia, Zzastrall had little connection nor likeness towards the city. They came with a gallivant intent, to take in the sights of Regalia, and to then depart. However, the ill-mannered nature of the holy city lended to the Mai-Allar's injury - several lacerations about the upper chest - which led to one of the days in which they were to stay in the city to be within the Oldtown Clinic. Anije had naught issue nor indignity in taking the patient for her own biddings, as she genuinely believed none to care for the loss of the singular individual.
    Whereas the previous attempts of mastery over anatomy came in the full dissection and reconstruction of a living body, Anije's goal with the specimen was unpretentious in comparison to her prior embellished efforts. The Allar would be marked as deceased, taken out of the facility, and would proceed to be subjected to an instance of a Planar Affliction through the force-feeding of humanoid flesh with the surveyance of a present Capradeim - whom was paid in marrow for the deed.
    The woman collared the beast she had "created", and exploited the thing upon its reawakening to lull it into a sense of trust. She would take care of its injuries, supply it with all it needed, and it would have full control of where it went within Regalia as long as the collar upon it remained. She burrowed the notion into Zzastrall's mind that it was by her doing that the Allar still breathed and lived, and it would have her to thank for any life it would live beyond the instance of its "saving".
    And thus the Capradeim was released into the canals of Regalia.
     
    #1 Deusphage, Dec 28, 2020
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2021
  2. fantuinn

    fantuinn seagull Staff Member Lore2

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    Claimed for review.​
     
  3. fantuinn

    fantuinn seagull Staff Member Lore2

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    @Deusphage You can only have one racial boost. Pick one, remove the rest.
     
  4. Deusphage

    Deusphage Total Misplay

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    • Immersive Immersive x 1
  5. fantuinn

    fantuinn seagull Staff Member Lore2

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  6. Deusphage

    Deusphage Total Misplay

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    @fantuinn Modified with ranged proficiency update & direction I wanted to take the character. No longer funny faithless creechur.
     
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  7. fantuinn

    fantuinn seagull Staff Member Lore2

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    Remains approved.​
     
  8. fantuinn

    fantuinn seagull Staff Member Lore2

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    @Deusphage It has been brought to my attention this character is designed as a crocodile. This is not allowed for a Mai-Allar. Please specifically clarify on your application what animal your Mai-Allar is designed around.
     
  9. Deusphage

    Deusphage Total Misplay

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    Was called "The Crocodilian" because the initial idea of the creature was that it was a sewer crocodile, however the aesthetic was never actually related to crocodiles at all. Changed to be Catfish, namely as an excuse to use vibrissae more in sentences
     
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  10. fantuinn

    fantuinn seagull Staff Member Lore2

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    Re-Approved.​
     
  11. Deusphage

    Deusphage Total Misplay

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  12. fantuinn

    fantuinn seagull Staff Member Lore2

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    @Deusphage Spoiler the likes and dislikes. Remove about 3 of your taken abilities, as the sheer amount of them + the amount of combat proficiencies you have seems like far too much. Also consider lowering the amount of mutations, the sheer amount you have right now is a little ridiculous.
     
  13. Deusphage

    Deusphage Total Misplay

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  14. fantuinn

    fantuinn seagull Staff Member Lore2

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