«❅» Full Name | Marnokh Rinz Dorkahn Mor Kedoz Raz Parthannar «❅» Race | Kathar (Divine Cult) - Dorkarth Vampire «❅» Age | 409 «❅» Gender | Male «❅» Sexuality | Heterosexual «❅» Eye Color | Blood Red •⊶─────────⋞•✧•⋟─────❅─────⋞•✦•⋟─────────⊶• «❅» Belief | Marnokh believes in self evolution as well as seeing himself as his own entity. He was once a worshipper of Venna after finding sanguinsm and transitioned towards worshipping Onu in his life. Now he is in an everlasting pursuit of power towards making himself his own entity to be worshipped. «❅» Char Concept | Marnokh is a Katharic Dark mage whose soul purpose is to fuel his dark magic with any method possible. He sees the future as himself sitting in the throne the current Dread Queen is on with an indescribable amount of power. He is all about strengthening his magical intensity and increasing his influence through the students he teaches and spreads his special red lightning upon. •⊶─────────⋞•✧•⋟─────❅─────⋞•✦•⋟─────────⊶• «❅» Magic Point Buy {16} -={Tier Five}=- ⤜ Magic Bolts ⤜ Magic Snare ⤜ Magic Trip ⤜ Magic Distort ⤜ Magic Smog ⤜ Magic Curse ⤜ Magic Resist ⤜ Magic Cleanse ⤜ Magic Disengage ⤜ Magic Warp ⤜ Magic Feather ⤜ Magic Counter ⤜ Magic Shove ⤜ Magic Revenge FREE > KATHAR ⤜ Magic Isolate ⤜ Magic Summon •⊶─────────⋞•✧•⋟─────❅─────⋞•✦•⋟─────────⊶• « Common | (Taught by Parents) » « Kathar/Pannorak | (Taught by Parents) » •⊶─────────⋞•✧•⋟─────❅─────⋞•✦•⋟─────────⊶• «❅» Appearance | Marnakh appears as a 6'3 Kathar with a well built body, an old robe and gi appearance, black sandals and an eyepatch covering the spark to his magic which has been replaced with his right eye. Underneath his eyepatch is a wide display of void corruption and then the jewel of his spark in it's most purest form of energy, completely containing the source of his magic. •⊶─────────⋞•✧•⋟─────❅─────⋞•✦•⋟─────────⊶• Life Story - Marnokh was born in the deep lands of the Dread Empire. He found himself in an immediate struggle for power under a semi-wealthy lineage of Kathar whom reigned proficient in the use of magic. Marnokh was rather bred to be a mage of great power, with all of his studies and focus simply being upon learning about magic and developing his own power. - Marnokh having growing up a little had been designated (free) to wander and escape the place he were held at which was considered home by others. He met constant battle and bloodshed along his way to the point where he nearly lost his life. After wandering far off from his home and the dread empire, Marnokh found himself in a rather odd position, standing along the edges of No Man's Land where his life nearly ended as a result of being along the crossfire of a skirmish from opposing forces. - Eventually Marnokh made his way across the great lands, and eventually journeyed upon a ship which would take him afloat along the sea. He heard of many rumors and mentions of a place known as Regalia, which had been greatly known for it's bizarre occurrences rather annually. Having dodged the door of death many times, he sought to settle down for a while and landed upon Regalia where he would spend the next many years of his life. - Marnokh was not accepted so easily among the Regalians as he was a Kathar, one whom had been filled to the brim with chaotic essence of the void. His magical energy was simply intense to the point where most civilians simply turned the other way or avoided him. He met a wide range of allies along with having his fair share of combat with many foes over the years and eventually settled down into a position where he now practices his dark arts in private along the outskirts of Crookback, and seeks to grow in his magical power before his age reaches its maximum span.
Hello! Small peer review from a snake enthusiast! Take what I say with a grain of salt as I’m not staff, but perhaps these pointers can still be helpful to know. The Slizzar language is called Zorraana, I think you forgot to add a Vampire form description. Considering how your character is a rather faithful Nessrassian (that’s the name of the faith), I’d suggest reading into the religion page a bit more and choose a Ssepston for your character based on their personality. A Ssepston is just the main serpent a Skizzieren “devotes” themselves to and follows the virtues of. Though that’s just small details and you can also pick one later on as you figure out the character further. - It might be helpful to note that your character was born in Sassrakknd, at least as far as I understood. - All Slizzar are born with an near-identical twin. What happened to that twin? - Traditionally, Slizzar take a mentor at age 18 to teach them about being a slizzar. I’d suggest rewording a bit of the story to maybe make that uncle the mentor. - It may be wise to mention where this character learned Arcanology. That’s all, have a good one and cya in roleplay!
@BiBiBirdie Made some changes based on Tellers suggestions and peer review. Big thanks to @FutureTeller and the app is ready.
Please make the following edits and tag me when complete. Please remove the spoiler from this section. Lists of abilities should not be behind a spoiler. Milot Vampiric forms must be a majority pink, magenta or purple, or a combination of these three. While you can have green scaled sections, the majority much follow that colour scheme. This feels strange given the rest of the backstory, as they grew up inside of Sassrakkand and were mentored. During the process, they would have learnt about other cultures outside of Sassrakkand and Slizzar society in vague detail, especially the history between the Regalia Empire and Slizzar given what they were mentored in. Assassinations against Nobility during the Chrysant War would have certainly come up during their education. Please edit or remove these sections. For context, I would recommend reading over this page. https://wiki.massivecraft.com/Chrysant_War Please remove the racial boost from here. Racial boosts only apply to points spent, not the 10 free hobby points.
This only costs 3 points. A mistake on my end for not spotting this sooner. This currently has investment listed at 15 free Hobby points instead of 10. Please correct this.
@BiBiBirdie Big Update! -Full Format Change -Life Story Change -Prof Change (Less of a fighter now) App is up for Re-Review!
Please make the following edits and tag me when complete. This should be a total of 15, with the inclusion of +5 from their theatre profs investments. Please include a description of their Slizzar form here. This should be included in the appearance information section. Further, the majority of their vampiric form must be purple, pink or magenta as a milôt. Please edit this description to match. You only need to include the number of abilities added here instead of listing them, as no choices are required by this kit. You only need to include the number of abilities added here instead of listing them, as no choices are required by this kit. Sassrakkand is a sole island, please edit this to be one of the islands surrounding it. Remove this mention, a Slizzar doesn't need to learn how to use their tongues to speak other languages. They are the same as any other race in this regard.
@BiBiBirdie Vampire rework! Literally just kept the same appearance as it's pretty dope and not too far off. And switched dagger to heavy ranged for profs!
@BiBiBirdie App is up for re-review to fix the old abilities and add in new ones! Demonology included
Another name and disguise description. Also nothing big, however the changed info is in appearance section.
@BiBiBirdie I need a big review on this retcon/rework. I'm not happy at all with the Kathar I had and changed it to an ailor along with the story update. No skills have been changed, less combat and more magical profs for progressions and lore. I did the rework instead of wasting another char app.
Hey there, sorry for the wait! Quick review. It wouldn't hurt to mention Barta's culture here! Name makes me think Dressolini, but I'm not sure quite what you were going for. You've got eight listed. Quick fix. Neither of these little things will stop this from being re-approved though- re-approved!
Fixed, Aetosian color solely because Batra loves purple. Found that Batra means "Humanly World Ruler" in some cultures so went with it for an ailor name. Istrello comes from a book a demons which means Demon blade. As for the silvenism. Didn't mention this in the backstory but could if you'd like.
