Zesryo Ssaif

Discussion in 'Character Sheets' started by Daekon, Mar 6, 2017.

  1. Daekon

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    Zesryo Ssaif
    Basic Information


    • Full Name: Zesryo Ssaif

    - Zes.
    -Ssolomon Zaesske

    • Age: 29

    • Gender: Male

    • Race: Mu-Allar

    • Main Ambition: Alchemical knowledge.

    Skill Information


    • School of Alchemy
    • Level:Expert in Discipline of Alchemic Theory and History
    • Attended the School of Alchemy


    Visual Information


    • Eye Colour: Yellow

    • Hair Colour: He’s an Allar and so doesn’t have hair, but he does have two ivory coloured horns coming out from where his scales turn to feathers, and a further 6 on the back of his head.

    • Hair Style: His horns are in good condition and nice and clean.

    • Skin Colour: His face is scaled green with red undertones, and the rest of him is feathered blue.

    • Clothing: White shirt with dark grey cuff and collar, sleeves rolled up to the shoulder and buttons undone down the chest. He also has knee length grey trousers with some pockets for holding alchemical stuffs.

    • Height: 5’10”

    • Body Build: Average

    • Weapon of Choice: Alchemical attacks and his Quarterstaff


    Personality Traits


    • First Paragraph: Zesryo is often seen as a witty and smart-arsed character, all proved when you annoy him. In the interests of his business, himself or his closest friend, Eric, he can become cold and distant, and is this way with people he does not know or trust. Despite his cold facade, he is kind and sometimes his mask will slip enough to show this, especially when around close ones. He will rarely, if never, lose his temper enough to yell at someone, being very patient. While not afraid of other company, he usually avoids it, seeing it as little more than a distraction from his true love, alchemy. This anti-social nature has left him with few friends, all of whom his is highly attached to. He is highly overprotective, as anyone who has harmed his close-ones will learn, and will go to extreme lengths to protect them. In fact, harming his loved ones is the only thing that can put him in a true and passionate rage.
    • Second Paragraph: The Allar views himself as intelligent and knowledgeable in his study of alchemy, understandably considering his devotion towards it. He sees himself in a neutral light, though leaning towards negative. Zesryo is his own biggest critic, often finding his faults and hating himself for them, seeing them as parts of him that make him weak and defective. His nature doesn’t extend to self-loathing, but instead anger at his failures, though he’d never let anyone see. This perspective was probably from the bullying he got as a young child being a Mu-allar, and maybe even rooted in the abduction and kidnapping that he can’t seem to remember yet left a scar on him. He views himself as kind, though, and is proud of himself.
    • Third Paragraph: Among friends and family, Zesryo is relaxed and jokey, differing from his wittiness by removing the bite behind most of his statements. He is fiercely protective, and when around his family publicly will have no qualms showing that, be it hissing or baring his small pointed teeth. When surrounded by his friends, his mood can turn a complete 360, and he will become cheery and open, as well as gentle and kind, sacrificing all his time and possibly even his life for them. He is comfortable around them, teasing and messing with them, but never failing to apologise or make things right should he overstep.
    • Fourth Paragraph: Zes is neutral, not being good nor bad, though he does help many in the sewers with his clinical and alchemical business. His moral compass is straight, and he easily differs bad from good and will not fail to intervene should he believe what someone is doing is truly evil. Though he spends a lot of time in the sewers as Ssol –his sewer disguise– he hasn’t done anything wrong, and stays down there a lot for one person, his business and the noodles.


    Talents

    Alchemy- Zes has been doing alchemy since before he can remember; it’s what he was brought up doing. From a young age he would watch his alchemist parents work, and when he grew a little older he began to help and was in fact taught by them. He is incredibly good at alchemy- expert level in the School of alchemy- and very dedicated.

    Quarterstaff- Zesryo is very good at wielding his quarterstaff, and it was this that occupied his time whilst he should probably have been sleeping. This was taught to him by his parents and only occupied a small fraction of the day, but he worked on it a lot at night, and they never realized. Zes trains in his spare time (of which there is plentiful) and has a high accuracy and speed with it. He uses it as an extension of his body and what he lacks for in pure muscle he generally makes up for in skill.

    Photographic Memory- Zesryo has a photographic memory. His memory is nearly impeccable and he can rewind his memory at will to certain scenes and images. Whether this is recipes for his alchemy, or faces, or places, or even events, he will be able to rewind to it and even describe it. The only time in which his memory doesn’t work as well is when he is either very angry or very sad.

    Mathematician- Zesryo is very smart naturally, and because he was brought up by Al-Allar alchemists, he was given a high level of education from them. He is good at maths, geometry, and, of course, alchemy. He has a good grasp on these topics, and is able to solve most questions thrown at him quickly and efficiently.


    Weaknesses


    Dislike of being touched- This is very close to an OCD for Zes. Zesryo loathes being touched, and when touched will become aggressive and have to touch the place the contact was made- almost as if to remind himself it is still his. If he is touched and their is no opportunity for him to smooth over his feathers he will become increasingly irrational and anxious, and will begin showing signs of distress such as rocking on his heels and twitching. This is a weakness because not only is it rather annoying to have (he will literally drop everything to smooth over his feathers) but it is also highly upsetting for Zesryo and will put him in a very distressed state. The act of allowing someone to touch him is a mark of extreme trust, usually giving away his emotional connections to another person, making it difficult to lie when it comes to relationships. He will become distrustful of those who cause him this distress and refuse to interact those who frequently do this. In addition to this, should touch be prolonged (30 seconds+) he will become twitchy, begin to hyperventilate, and will begin to attempt the forced removal from said person.



    Life Story


    0-10

    He was left on the doorsteps of two Al-Allars house as an egg, and was found roughly 7 hours later. This caused the tail elongation because of the humidity and heat of Hadar, and this accelerated the growth of his tail. When he was found, his soon to be parents took him in and incubated his egg, but little did they know he was not an Al-Allar, but a Mu-Allar. When he hatched they saw his feathers and realised, but decided to keep and raise him anyways. As a young Allar his parents kept a watchful eye on him while he kept a watchful eye on their work- alchemy. Zes and his parents moved around a lot and there was little to no organisation or pattern to their lives. When he became old enough I help, his parents began teaching him in the ways of alchemy and of maths and other subjects. It was at the age of 7 when a group of al-allar mages attacked him, for him being a mu-allar. When his parents found him 5 days after his abduction, he was burned and some of his feathers had fallen out. He was in a small feathery ball and was completely terrified, shrinking away from his parents. They carried him back to their home and set to the task of calming him. After this they decided self-defense was necessary and began training in with quarterstaffs, though at that young age it was just a stick. He continued to learn and train and showed a passion for his beloved alchemy.

    10-20

    He joined the school of alchemy as early as possible, due to his slightly traumatic childhood, and worked hard there. Because he's grown up in as the child of an ex-teacher at the school, he already had knowledge on alchemy and was able to create simple concoctions on his own without supervision. Because of this, when he joined the school he was already student level. He quicky ascended, showing both his skill and his incredible memory.

    25-Current Day

    At 29 he finished his time in the School of Alchemy, and after a sad farewell (he had grown find of the place in his years there), he headed to regalia. He spent a long time traveling to Regalia via boat and carriage, but when he arrived the gates were closed. He took the decision to stay in a village not far from regalia and worked as their healer. Upon entering Regalia he found that he wasn't able to afford a house and headed down to the sewers instead via a hole in the wall. Now-a-days he spends his time with a certain slizzar and does some alchemical work.
     
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    #1 Daekon, Mar 6, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 26, 2017
  2. TheOverseer__

    TheOverseer__ Captain of Laveer

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    I have claimed this for review!
     
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  3. TheOverseer__

    TheOverseer__ Captain of Laveer

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    Here is my review!
    • The long range weakness is a copout weakness and needs to replaced.
    • The dislike of being touched is a expanded personality dislike, not a weakness. For it to count as a weakness, it is going to need a more severe consequence than just ruffing your feathers a bit (get it! ha!). Either strengthen the consequence of this or replace it with a more significant weakness.
    • This is an optional bonus, but most Mu-Allar have some background in Void worship. You don't have to be an active Void Worshipper now, but this probably would have interacted with his life in Hadar at some point. At something in his life story how the often violent or traumatizing nature of Void Worship effecting his social skills. It seems pretty natural that this could give a little reason to his social awkwardness.
    Make some edits and then tag me @TheOverseer__
     
  4. Daekon

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    He was raised by Al-Allar, as stated in the lifestory, so he wouldn't have had anything to do with void worshipping.
    I'll get to it
     
  5. Daekon

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    @TheOverseer__ Done, edits in blue
    I haven't added in any void worshiping because he was raised by Al-Allar so wouldn't have anything to do with this
     
  6. TheOverseer__

    TheOverseer__ Captain of Laveer

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    More notes:
    • It's fine not to touch on the Void Worship aspect, that's why I called that edit an optional bonus. Almost all Mu-Allar are in Sendras, and most religion is culturally and regionally concentrated, so if they were within doorstep leaving range of a Mu-Allar, chances are they are in an are where Void Worship would have been prevalent regardless of whether or not his specific parents did or not. Because of the extreme exclusivity of the locale of origin of Mu-Allar, Void Worship will interact with their life somehow even if it is in terms of resisted social pressures to be more like their racial kin rather than their adoptive parents. Again, this was just an optional bonus though that would give more depth to your character, it is not required for approval.
    • The reactionary part of the fear magic seems pretty normal. Just about all parts of his reaction is pretty normal, I can't think of somebody who wouldn't first try to avoid (run away) an attack of any kind (not magic) and defend themselves as efficiently as possible should escape not be an option. So the actual initial reaction doesn't add any reaction, so I want to focus on the mid-term consequence of the jitter from encountering magic. You specifically mention hex and string magic, but I am hoping these are just examples and that any sort of magic would trigger this? and if so what are the specific consequences of his jitter? Probably the most balancing consequence would be if his hands would shake and decrease his alchemy skill temporarily to where he is unable to brew anything for a 24 IRL hour timeframe after being the target of magic. This could make it so if he was being heavily pursued by mages and in a lot of scuffles it would routinely interrupt on of his greatest strengths and make him sometimes not have access to some brews. I leave this to your creative freedom though. Define what the consequences and time frame of his post-mage experience better since the real time effect is basically normal.
    • Dislike of touch is still in need of attention as well. I can't think of a single instance where you will somehow be touched by somebody for 10 minutes straight when you don't like being touched. Being able to be manipulated via this avenue is also extremely odd. Why would like it? But then do what somebody asks? But then lash out at them if it is an astronomically long time? I'm not sure if it just needs to be reworked or replaced altogether, but it definitely needs some kind of work.
    Make some edits and then tag me @TheOverseer__
     
  7. Daekon

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  8. TheOverseer__

    TheOverseer__ Captain of Laveer

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    Nice touch with the hyperventilation.

    Approved.
     
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  9. Daekon

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    -Added his other sewers nickname, don't think that calls for a re-review though.
     
  10. Daekon

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    @TheOverseer__
    Made edits to change it to the new format, as well as a large overhaul on his entire personality.
     
  11. Fatherland

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    I'll be managing this review as Overseer is on leave. Expect a response soon.
     
  12. Fatherland

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    Staff Review-

    • Visual Information
      • The body build for Mu-Allar cannot generally exceed Average. Change this to either average or something thinner.
    • Personality Traits
      • In your first paragraph you mention Zes can be "cold hearted" and "distant" in certain situations but then is generally "kind." I don't feel his cold-heartedness is elaborated enough in a manner that allows it to coexist with the kind personality trait. Expand a bit on this distinction so I can better make heads of the two.
    • Talents
      • "Intelligent" isn't a very suitable word for a talent. Seeing as this particular bullet goes over his mathematical expertise, change the word to something involving numbers. Mathematician, for example.
      • Zes' alchemical skill is overpowered. Even those trained in alchemist schools can generally work up to level 7 reasonably. Tune his ability down to level 6 as a basis, or add in that he was educated at an appropriate school of alchemy and bump it up to 7.
    Mark all additions / changes in blue and tag me once you're done.
     
    #12 Fatherland, Apr 25, 2017
    Last edited: Apr 25, 2017
  13. Daekon

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  14. Fatherland

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    Approved.
     
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  15. Daekon

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    @Fatherland due to some changes in the School of alchemy, it appears that I needed to update his app. I have no idea what the minimum age is, but I've semi-worked around this (you don't have to join an academy until learned, he joined at student) and such.
    All changes are in blue
     
  16. Fatherland

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    Changes approved.
     
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