Preserved Sheet Zenzik Me'tho

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MangoMiata

MangoMiata

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Basic Information

Name: Zenzik Me'tho

Age: 71

Gender: Male

Ambition: Zenzik simply wishes to lead a simple happy life.
Race: Zenzik's mother and his father were Talar.

Special Permission: Expert in fire magic. Collared

Visual Information

Eye Color: Dark green.

Hair Color: Sandy blonde.

Hair Style: His hair style is a bit to the side of his right eye and is very thick in volume around the front.

Skin Color: light tanned skin.

Clothing: He normally wears whatever, not really large on fashion.
Height: 7 feet.

Weight: 195 pounds.

Body build: Medium size build.

Weapon of choice: Zenzik is a Expert Mage in Dragon Fire magic and has studied it for about 50 years allowing him to perform even the most advanced Dragon Fire incantations with moderate to relative ease. This particular type of magic is probably Zenzik's most proficient weapon skill and his most preferred.

Personality and Abilities

Personality Traits

-Knowledgeable, Zenzik is a very smart person. This is a trait he has picked up from spending much of his younger years pondering the teachings of the many books that cluttered the floor of his small hut. This trait is something that allows for intelligent conversation between him and those that wish to talk with him about things in depth. This trait has a draw back to it as sometimes Zenzik can over complicate problems while trying to think them over when its not needed.

-Intense. Zenzik helps those around him and does so with great joy, so when he sees those around him being rude to people without a significant reason, he tends to get angry. This anger usually comes to him as a fiery frustration that makes him just want to yell. This is sometimes a problem as certain Nobles aren't the nicest people around, but there is nothing he can do about it. Zenzik tends to get angry at the feeling of helplessness which is why he wanted to become a guard in the first place.

-Distant. Zenzik tends to feel like he is missing a large part of himself due to his inability to truly express who he is, a Expert Dragon's Fire Mage. This feeling of lost and incompleteness sometimes leads to pockets of depression in his life. Though they aren't normally large enough to affect him on the long term scale. They can cause him to make poor decisions.

-Protective, Zenzik is not one to let his friends or brothers in arms behind. As a guard of a man who wants to have the ability to help as many people as he can through a charter. He has learned that a persons life is a very important thing to protect and serve, and it has made him very caring to those around him. This trait tends to come as a rebellious trait towards his mother who wasn't around, and his father who left to find love again.

-Anxious. Zenzik sometimes gets major feelings of anxiety before making decisions. As well as after making them. Sometimes he is confident on his choice but after he makes them? Not so much. This leaves him in a panic, shaky state after making one and creates many unconfident conversations recently after feeling anxiety.

-Understanding, Zenzik tries not to rush to quick answers and listen to both sides of problems. He has seen in many encounters that people tend to only hear from one person and regard any other information as not needed. This angers him and he tries to take time to understand what is going on around him. This trait probably comes from his many years without a family which has left him trying to understand the many emotions he didn't feel at a young age.

Strengths

-Patient, although Zenzik might sometimes fool around he is willing to wait for what he wants. Zenzik has had to express patience for most his life as learning his magic takes time. Patience is key in problems and he has faced many. Such patience is why he is as successful in magic as he is. Patience is a larger value of his and is a trait that he tries to keep in mind when he feels his quick to anger temper rise. Patience is something that has kept him from losing his mind to his Anxiety and tries to keep things going one step at a time. The feeling of tranquillity is one that Zenzik spends his time working on by meditating when possible to increase his patience and reduce his temper.

-Conversation skills. Zenzik has a large group of people he enjoys talking to and loves to make conversation. This Strength is probably a rebound to the introversion he had as a young kid which he tries to make up for. Due to his being confined to his small hut for most his young life he tries to make up for it be being as social as possible. This skill has allowed him to grow as a person and is the reason why he has the job he does. He saw a man talking about his need for guards and just jumped in.

-Worldly. Zenzik's intelligence and his many feelings caused by his anxiety and depression has given him a deeper more creative view on the world around him. Though he isn't any good at art or writing down his feelings he tends to feel a lot giving him the ability to truly feel and cope with his world. His ever changing complex, ambiguous world. The depth in which he feels allows him to truly cope with his magic.

Weaknesses

-Easily Trusts, Zenzik's loyalty is his fatal flaw. He is to trusting in those he meets and would gladly die for those around him. Zenzik doesn't understand the concept of allowing someone to give up and can spend to much time on those who wont change. Zenzik doesn't see the faith of others as a bad thing which tends to him chasing impossible dreams and hoping for emotional faith in him from people who can never give it to him. Zenzik should really contemplate the friends he trusts but he tends to see the good in the world and people instead. This weakness isn't entirely a weakness but it might leave him open to manipulation.

-Overloaded. Zenzik puts to much into what he does and burns out quickly. This sometimes means that he ends up over worked and can't help but fall asleep and sometimes oversleep at home. This trait might cause trouble for Zenzik one day and is something he must work on. Zenzik tends to be okay with the over work as it means he is to tired to be anxious. Though, the over work ends up causing more problems then it solves. This is a problem Zenzik has in his everyday life and is something that needs much work. Over work is a stress more then it is a luxury, Zenzik finds himself having a hard time deciding when to call it quits because he is at his happiest when he is at his busiest.

-Isolationist. Zenzik never will ask for help when he needs it which might be his major down fall. Due to his want to help everyone and get help from no one he ends up very drained. This trait is Zenzik's biggest down side and something he needs to work on. This weakness is something that is being worked on as he learns to work with his fellow guards. This is a trait that creates many stressful situations in life when he has lots to do with little time to do it. This trait is probably his biggest down fall specifically when combined with his problem with over working himself. Zenzik has a problem with his inability to help certain people due to their affiliation with nobility of challenging power to those of his employer. Zenzik will definitely have to work on this weakness before it gets the better of him.

Life Story

Childhood

To begin, Zenzik's life is one that has been difficult for him. Zenzik is 70 years old and was born in a small hut, in the Farah'deen state of Mooriyye. He was born on June 17th 234 AC to a Talar mother and Talar father. As he was born 6 years before the new ruler he didn't get to understand the change of rule. Unfortunately Zenzik's mother died during birth so he has no memory of her, his father how ever was a man named Ten'fouth Me'tho. Ten'fouth was involved with a library in a fair away village and he was normally returning home in a panicky mood do to the many Qadir peoples that lived in the villages near his hut were suspicious and paranoid of the Talar owned hut. They were always angry and yelling when his father would take him into the near by village for food. Esipcally the Songaskia as they saw the elves as inferior to their race.
His father was a expert fire mage and had many books on the subject. He was with Zenzik until his 15th birthday (he had never done anything special besides feed the kid) when he told Zenzik that he was going to leave with a young woman he had met and fallen in love with. At this time in life Zenzik didn't know much besides the small hut so that's where he stayed.

Early Adulthood

Around his 18th birthday he started to try to read the many books he had left behind and so he stumbled upon a fire magic one and decided it was quite interesting. Getting a job in a small village near by until he had saved his money, only buying necessity's till his 20th birthday and decided to completely focus on magic due to his isolation from others. Though Zenzik doesn't know where the many volumes on magic his father had came from he decided it was most likely due to his involvement with a far away villages library.

Late Adulthood

He left his job and spent the next 50 years of his life in seclusion only leaving to buy food (Which he tried to avoid due to the many dirty glares and insults he would get from the paranoid and suspicious Qadir in the near by village), studying the books of fire magic. These 50 years were tough for Zenzik at first because he could not grasp the many teachings in the books but as time progressed he learned that the books were not as hard as he thought to understand. Around the middle years of his learning Zenzik really started to flow with his magic but would push to hard on incantations and end up burnt out. Near the end of the 50 years Zenzik grew quite restless as he had read all of the books and was performing many advanced incantations with ease.

Present

When he was just passed his 70th birthday he left the hut and with the left over money bought fare to ride in a carriage to the farthest village he could. He would get a job when he stopped of and save to go to the next village and did this up until about a month when he arrived in Regalia. He decided to start where he always does. The biggest tavern, that is when he meet a man named Beck Grave who would employ him as a guard. Zenzik was formly Captain of the Archery team of House grave. This is a position that Zenzik acquired due to the discovery of his natural bow talent and with the captaincy training and no other positions he decided it was the position for him. He has recently left the service of House Grave after Beck Grave lost his Barony. Although Zenzik fulfilled his dreams of joining the Hammers, it wasn't all that he wanted. He now wants to lead a simple life of studing the teachings of fire magic further aswell as writting factual based novels and the likes.
 
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Peer review!​
I can see in this application that you've clearly thought about your character, and you've developed a nice skeleton. However, your skeleton is lacking in flesh. You have done a great job putting the overall structure of your character into place, but now you need to flesh him out. Let's get going!
  • Formatting: This application is a bit hard to read considering the fact that everything is so close together. I strongly recommend you put a space between each line, as it would really ease on the eyes.
  • Ambition: To be completely frank, becoming a respected fire mage in Regalia is an almost impossible achievement. Mages, especially fire mages (due to fire magic's offensive capabilities) are regarded with extreme caution, and even if your character gains the respect of a few folks, I promise you there will always be a handful of characters who won't trust a fire mage. In the long run, it would be most beneficial to change Zenzik's main ambition. I advise that you alter this.
  • Fire Magic: You say that Zenzik has been studying for fifteen years; that would make him a caster, not a mage. To be a mage, Zenzik still needs to study at least a few more years, and in the perspective of magic, a few years can make a large difference.
  • Personality Traits: You have six traits here, but there are two major flaws. The first is that they are all positive traits. There needs to be a balance: Since you have six traits, you need to have three positive traits, and three negative traits. Additionally, there is a very large lack of detail here. At the bare minimum, you need at least three traits to fully describe Zenzik's personality traits, so you'll need to elaborate and add detail here. Answer questions such as where did this trait come from? How does it affect daily conversation?
  • Strengths/Weaknesses: You need a minimum of three strengths, so you'll need to add one. Again, there is a large lack of detail in this section. You need to explain why something is a strength and go in depth about how it affects the outcome of certain situations. Similar to the personality traits, there is a minimum of three sentences for your strengths and weaknesses.
 
Pandantly said:
Peer review!​
I can see in this application that you've clearly thought about your character, and you've developed a nice skeleton. However, your skeleton is lacking in flesh. You have done a great job putting the overall structure of your character into place, but now you need to flesh him out. Let's get going!
  • Formatting: This application is a bit hard to read considering the fact that everything is so close together. I strongly recommend you put a space between each line, as it would really ease on the eyes.
  • Ambition: To be completely frank, becoming a respected fire mage in Regalia is an almost impossible achievement. Mages, especially fire mages (due to fire magic's offensive capabilities) are regarded with extreme caution, and even if your character gains the respect of a few folks, I promise you there will always be a handful of characters who won't trust a fire mage. In the long run, it would be most beneficial to change Zenzik's main ambition. I advise that you alter this.
  • Fire Magic: You say that Zenzik has been studying for fifteen years; that would make him a caster, not a mage. To be a mage, Zenzik still needs to study at least a few more years, and in the perspective of magic, a few years can make a large difference.
  • Personality Traits: You have six traits here, but there are two major flaws. The first is that they are all positive traits. There needs to be a balance: Since you have six traits, you need to have three positive traits, and three negative traits. Additionally, there is a very large lack of detail here. At the bare minimum, you need at least three traits to fully describe Zenzik's personality traits, so you'll need to elaborate and add detail here. Answer questions such as where did this trait come from? How does it affect daily conversation?
  • Strengths/Weaknesses: You need a minimum of three strengths, so you'll need to add one. Again, there is a large lack of detail in this section. You need to explain why something is a strength and go in depth about how it affects the outcome of certain situations. Similar to the personality traits, there is a minimum of three sentences for your strengths and weaknesses.
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Thanks I will work on it some more tonight your feed back reaaly helps
 
I have made the edits and would love for you to take another look!
 
@ShKnRu very nice work! At a quick glance, there's nothing I have to say about it, but I might have something to add later. Great job!
 
ShKnRu said:
I am in need of a staff review if any staff are on. ☺
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Staff get to your review when they can. They go in chronological order, meaning people who posted an application before you will be higher priority. You don't ask for a review, staff will review it when they can. You just need to be patient.
 
Hello, I am here to Peer Review this piece!

Basic Information
  • His main ambition seems perhaps a bit too long, and seeing as how one half of it is complete, mention the one that is not and quickly how he may achieve that.
  • His race, I assume his mother was half Ailor and half Talar rather than half Alorian and half Talar, Alorians are anyone who live here in this section of the world.
Visual Information
  • Do not use your character's name Zenzik in every single point and keep it to a basic point, like for example, "Eye Color: Zenzik has Dark green eyes" would simply become "Eye Colour: Dark Green". However this is a minor edit, but the continuous use of the name is a bit strange looking.
  • Minor point, spell might be better replaced with incantation perhaps
Personality Traits
  • Intelligence is not a personality trait, Learned, Knowledgeable or Schooled would perhaps be better words.
  • Quick to Anger can become Aggressive, Impulsive maybe or even Intense.
  • Finds Himself Lost can be Naive, Foolish maybe, to better explain why and how he finds himself lost easily.
  • Caring needs a bit of rewording, is a bit awkward in it's current state.
  • Understanding, those books would probably actually teach teach him to act on instinct, attack quickly and fiery to solve his problems. Perhaps he developed this trait elsewhere or via someone else.
  • Overall, look over his personality and maybe bring up some traits and ideas from his strengths and weaknesses to add into this section.
  • Also try to connect these traits and the rest with how he acts or would respond in interactions and how he would present himself to others.
  • You sometimes blend the trait into your sentence and sometimes do not, this is inconsistent.
Strengths
  • Maybe clarify Deep as Worldly, but a small, minor edit that is up to you to make.
Weaknesses
  • Too Faithful can be made Naive and work back into the personality traits or you can change the weakness to Easily Trusts.
  • Overworks Himself can become Relentless, Overloaded maybe.
  • Overly Independent, perhaps chance to Isolationist or Loner.
Life Story
  • As he has lived for 71 years, I encourage you to broaden and expand on the life story. Why would Zenzik want to fulfill his father's dream if his father left him and I assume never returned? Did anyone help Zenzik after that, become a sort of adoptive family? How did his father gain all of those books?
  • What was his father's role in society, to note, the Eastern half of Aloria is majorly dominated by Qadir and their subgroups so perhaps examine that new lore (one such an article can be found here: https://wiki.massivecraft.com/Qadir) as to how he would have been treated by surrounding society.
  • When did archery come into play for him? You don't mention it anywhere else so how was he able to have the skills to become a captain for a baron's archery team?
  • A key thing is deciding if you character submitted themselves to the Azure Order for "education", essentially torture, and a mage collar. Your character will definitely be changed by the education process in the Spire, where they do this, so keep that in mind.
In closing, I see a lot of promise and it's nice to see a non-Qadir fire mage around. I would say however, that expert is a very large responsibility, and I would recommend that as a relatively new player, perhaps keep him at a Mage level for awhile. It is up to you in the end and I greatly look forward to seeing the result.
 
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Okay thank you for your guys input i will work on it much more later tinight
 
@The_Shadow_King3 I have made the edits you wanted and would just love to give a BIG thank you to you! You really helped me decided many different aspects of my character that I hadn't decided which has made him much more complete and for that I can never repay you! YOU ARE AWESOME!!!
 
My post says Review-In-Progress but I haven't had a staff review yet is this because I am under peer review??
 
ShKnRu said:
@The_Shadow_King3 I have made the edits you wanted and would just love to give a BIG thank you to you! You really helped me decided many different aspects of my character that I hadn't decided which has made him much more complete and for that I can never repay you! YOU ARE AWESOME!!!
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ShKnRu said:
My post says Review-In-Progress but I haven't had a staff review yet is this because I am under peer review??
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You are very welcome, however no, you are not under peer review but I gave you one to help ensure that your app is a great as it can be before the staff review it themselves.
 
ShKnRu said:
@The_Shadow_King3 Do you like the edits?
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ShKnRu said:
Bump!
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@ShKnRu Just be patient with the staff, they have a lot to do and there are many other apps to be reviewed on top of yours.

In terms of the edits, there are a few more suggestions by myself.
Basic Information
  • Be sure to space your things out properly, a minor edit, but I'm going to get down to the nitty gritty here.
Visual Information
  • Be sure to mention in the clothing section that he has his collar around his neck.
Personality Traits
  • Add a bit more to knowledgeable maybe, are there any drawbacks to this trait at all?
  • Incomplete should maybe become Distant, a better defining of the trait.
  • Where did he gain his anxiety from, expand a bit more on that.
Life Story

Overall, I say to double check your spelling and such, consider what I have suggested and take from it what you desire. I am still interested in seeing this character around!
 
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