Rejected Sheet Zalaea Drulvaar

Discussion in 'Character Applications' started by Spookmas, Apr 1, 2020.

  1. Spookmas

    Spookmas Aggressively Friendly
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    Basic Information
    • Full Name: Zalaea Drulvaar
    • Age: 80
    • Gender: Female
    • Race: Zolathar Kathar | Crimson Witch
    • Sexuality: Bisexual
    • Religion: The Arken of Lust
    • Preferred Weapon: Shortswords and Daggers
    • Current Companion: Faeryl
    • Theme: Discombobulate
    Skill Information

    Total Points: 75+ (25+ Hobby, Talent and Racial)
    • 21+ Metallurgy Science | from points.
    • 20+ Alchemy Science | from points & racial
    • 10+ Perception Training | from talent points.
    • 10+ Spear Combat Training | from points.
    • 5+ Husbandry Art | from hobby points.
    • 5+ Hunting Art | from hobby points.
    • 4+ Dagger Combat | from points.
    Special Traits and Abilities

    Crimson Witch Mutations (Always Active)
    • Abyssal Stride
    • Abyssal Liege
    • Abyssal Dance
    • Abyssal Sworn
    • Abyssal Shadow
    Racial Abilities (Always Active)
    • Dread Rebirth
    • Dread Binding
    • Dread Tampering
    • Dread Linking
    • Dread Pact
    • Realm of Want
    • Lordly Change
    Metallurgy Packs (Always Active)
    • Clockwork Metallurgy
    • Finecraft Metallurgy
    • Steamtek Metallurgy
    • Iron Family Metallurgy
    • Bronze Family Metallurgy
    • Rich Family Metallurgy
    • Armor Metallurgy
    Body Shape
    • Body Stat: 25 (Metallurgy, Dagger & Spear)
    • Body Build: Athletic
    • Body Fat: Low Body Fat
    Languages
    • Common | Fluent
    • Kathar Altalar| Native
    Visual Information
    • Eye Colour: Black & Starry Red Flecks
    • Hair Colour: White & Crimson
    • Hair Style: Let loose
    • Skin Colour: Ashen
    • Clothing: Anything
    • Height: 6’8
    Personality and Abilities
    • Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    • Personality: The Craftsman
    • Religion: Arken of Lust (7/10)
    Life Story

    Childhood
    • During the year 228 AC, a new Abyssal was born within the walls of Paärthalaär to a loving mother Ylsirra and Ravias, one of Ylsirra’s other husbands.
    • Zalaea was quite mischievous in her early years as she developed her mutations quickly and began walking and crawling across walls and ceilings, usually driving her mother mad along with Tavyani and Viroul
    • Zalaea grew up in a mostly Shenath family and due to this her connection to the Cabal and other Abyssals was limited, she grew up more tied to her Kathar roots than anything else.
    • Once Zalaea grew old enough to read she began studying various professions such as Finecraft and Alchemy though it would still take her a while before she could actually create or brew anything
    • At the end of her childhood Zalaea gained another Abyssal full sibling, namely Qiyelstra Drulvaar, though instead of letting her mother go through the same pain she went through with Zalaea, she decided to help her by stopping Qiyelstra from being mischievous and crawling across ceilings and walls like she did when she was young.
    Teen years
    • Though being a child of Ravias her stepfather Erran had a much more prominent role in Zalaea’s life, teaching her how to handle blades properly, though she took most interest in shortswords.
    • Zalaea’s life wasn’t all studying and training though, she often went to various festivities with her family, Zalaea even got into some fights despite her young age.
    • Zalaea was eventually gifted the equipment and materials she needed to begin creating Clockwork and was soon able to make functioning potions
    • Zalaea took to worshipping the The Void Prefect of Pride along with alot of her other siblings, though never as fully devout as the others.
    • Her combative training continued through Zalaea’s teen years though she never grew as proficient as her other siblings, choosing to focus more on Alchemy and Finecraft.
    • Zalaea was eventually hired by an alchemist in Paärthalaär and actually made an income from doing such, even sharing some of it with her mother as she still lived in the Drulvaar household.
    Adult Years
    • Though not entirely devout to the Prefect of Pride due to her Abyssal Empowerments Zalaea was able to study and learn how to use Void Ritualism, becoming more and more proficient with it over time along with her other professions.
    • After years and years yet another Abyssal full sibling was born, this time by the name of Arryn Drulvaar, like before she aided her mother and father in getting her down from high places and preventing her from being hurt.
    • Zalaea eventually grew bored and took learning how to play various instruments as a hobby, she was most proficient with the violin over the other instruments.
    • Despite never truly serving or knowing much about the Cabal Zalaea still used the title of ‘Abyssal’ and still finding the term ‘Crimson Witch’ insulting, especially said by anyone other than her family.
    • After the Dread Empire’s defeat with Regalia Zalaea decided to leave the city of Paärthalar seeing as her kin have already done the same, she bribed a ship captain to get her away from Paärthalaär and eventually ended up within the Holy City of Regalia where she now resides with her siblings.
     
    • Winner Winner x 4
    #1 Spookmas, Apr 1, 2020
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2021
  2. Mollymock

    Mollymock The Verdant Preacher Staff Member Roleplay Staff

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    Hey there @Spookmas! Claiming this app for Aspirant review! Expect a reply shortly.
     
  3. Mollymock

    Mollymock The Verdant Preacher Staff Member Roleplay Staff

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    An investment of 5 proficiency points is required to unlock a language through Linguistic Knowledge. Please invest an additional point if you wish to keep the extra language.


    Your total value is a little off here, as it should be 8 rather than 7 due to Physical Stat always rounding up. I'd also ask that you include a calculation of how you came to this value.


    This is quite the pious approach to this religion/philosophy. Please add a sentence or two justifying why they are quite so devoted.


    This Life Story feels a little short for a character of this age. Please expand upon it.

    Make these edits in Purple and tag me when complete @Spookmas!
     
  4. Spookmas

    Spookmas Aggressively Friendly
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    @Mollymock Hi friend!
    • I changed Athletic Training to 4 and increased Linguistic to 5
    • I kept the 7 physical stat as it is due to the change above and put into detail what the stats are from
    • I lowered her religion to (5/10) the reason I had it so high was because I wanted the character to have Void Ritualism but I forgot Crimson Witches can have it even without religion so her religion became more of a side thing.
    • I expanded her life story by four bullet points and reworked the last one slightly to better fit with the second to last
    All edits done in Purple as requested!
     
  5. Mollymock

    Mollymock The Verdant Preacher Staff Member Roleplay Staff

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    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  6. Spookmas

    Spookmas Aggressively Friendly
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    @Mollymock Hi friend big-ish update I decided to give her some alchemy alongside her finecraft, going for those crazy scientist vibes.
    • Profs reworked, most of them stayed just lowered and added 20+ Alchemy
    • Removed "Plains Elven" I thought it was just a bit too random to have and served no real purpose other than "Haha I can speak your language"
    • Body Stat lowered to 6 and calculations corrected
    • I changed from "Shadow Guise" to "Stay Put/Can’t Hold Me Down" It doesn't make sense for Zalaea to have Shadow Guise because the way i'm portraying her she doesn't care to hide her identity (Never used it)
    • Added some bits and bobs about her learning Alchemy in her life story
    All edits have been done in PURPLE

    Hopefully everything is fine with the changes, I have really been enjoying the character and thought adding Alchemy would be an nice vibe for her
     
  7. Mollymock

    Mollymock The Verdant Preacher Staff Member Roleplay Staff

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    @Spookmas Re-approved, but, please refrain from changing out sorcery spells for the foreseeable future.
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  8. Spookmas

    Spookmas Aggressively Friendly
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    @Mollymock Hi I don't think I need to set to re-review but I thought i'd ping you nonetheless.
    • Life story has been re-written and or bullet points reworked a bit.
    • No point, sorcery or mutation changes.
    • Aged down to 80 due to moving from cousin to half sibling of the Tordove line, and Ylsirra's oldest child is Valarosta (85)
    • Changed religion to The Void Prefect of Pride though like before Zalaea isn't entirely devout to it.
     
  9. Mollymock

    Mollymock The Verdant Preacher Staff Member Roleplay Staff

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    Remains approved!
     
  10. Spookmas

    Spookmas Aggressively Friendly
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    @Mollymock Small update I changed Abyssal Grimoire to Abyssal Haruspex
     
  11. Mollymock

    Mollymock The Verdant Preacher Staff Member Roleplay Staff

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    Re-approved!
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  12. Spookmas

    Spookmas Aggressively Friendly
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    @Mollymock Need Re-Review
    • Alchemy swapped out for Sorcery
    • Added which spells exactly
    Note: I wasn't enjoying alchemy in roleplay and decided to swap it out, the times I did use it was very rare and to be honest I can't even recall the last time this char has used alchemy

    Edits done in purple
     
  13. Mollymock

    Mollymock The Verdant Preacher Staff Member Roleplay Staff

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    Approved.
     
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  14. Spookmas

    Spookmas Aggressively Friendly
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  15. Mollymock

    Mollymock The Verdant Preacher Staff Member Roleplay Staff

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    Approved!
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  16. Spookmas

    Spookmas Aggressively Friendly
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    @Mollymock Heya, shuffled points around a bit, got rid of stealth and burglary and instead just sliced them up into other things instead of devoting large amounts of points to certain things
     
    #16 Spookmas, Oct 20, 2020
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2020
  17. Mollymock

    Mollymock The Verdant Preacher Staff Member Roleplay Staff

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  18. Spookmas

    Spookmas Aggressively Friendly
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    @Mollymock owo whats this? a character update?? who would've guessed, anyways set to re-review, removed ritualism due to the update and put those points back into alchemy along with a 5+ boost to alchemy from the racial
     
  19. Mollymock

    Mollymock The Verdant Preacher Staff Member Roleplay Staff

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    This doesn't need to be here, since it's from old lore. Please remove it.
     
  20. Spookmas

    Spookmas Aggressively Friendly
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    Whoops meant to change that to racial abilities my bad, I edited it now
     
  21. Mollymock

    Mollymock The Verdant Preacher Staff Member Roleplay Staff

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    We have since removed this proficiency. Please update the app accordingly.
     

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