Preserved Sheet Xiang'pa Sûn

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Xian'Pa Sûn

{"P-p-plea', I 'ever mea't a'ything by i'."}
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Basic Info
Name: Xiang'Pa Sûn. She prefers to be called Pai
Age: Nineteen years of age.
Gender: Her gender is female.
Race: Chien-ji
Main Ambition: Take where winds carry her, probably to open her own inn, or tavern.

  • Xiang'Pa lives in a house for cheap, it seems disorganized and messy, despite being mature, she seems to not mind a messy living space. She came to Regalia seeing that the Yang-Tzu Isles was no place for an outlaw, Regalia was widely known to be large, who would notice a pickpocket such as her? She has no job as of current, she commonly asks around for jobs, for now she substitutes thieving people, as she grew really adept in pickpocket, even her touch has become soft.
  • Her family was very small, her two parents were quite strict, but they were very loose and open about many things, most would say she's so mature due to how open her parents were about their own upbringing, tragic or small. She had one sister, the both wre rather close, but it wasn't rare to see Xiang'Pa to flip out on her sister, and her parents, most wuld say she has, "The face of injustice.", and they always told her, "The world is never against you.".
  • Some side ambitions was to probably be part of a group, or have close friends she can always stick to. This is mainly for protection, she got injured enough being alone. Other things are to fully fledged in strings, free running, and painting.

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Visual Info
Eye color: Her eye color is gold-colored.

Hair Color: She dyed her hair silver, however, her origin hair color is black.
Hair style: It appears all matted and let go, a pony tails is bunched up, going down between her shoulder blades, at the end is a gold-colored band to keep it all together.


Skin Color: Pale, her cheeks blushed by a small increment.

Clothing: She wears dress with a coral top, cyan gilded with a goldish color around the neck extension. The extending skirt is grey, with a belt.

Height: She stands rought five foot one.
Weight: Eighty-nine lbs
Body Build: Very thin, and fairly short.


Weapons/Magic: As a side weapon she uses axes, which she doesn't really use by default. However, her main source of anywhere close to combat is her string magic. She is up to caster in both forms.

  • The shape of her eyes are uniform of her piers, which is generally very thin and thin ovals, of course a sharp point toward the inward part. Needless to say most of her facial features are uniform to most of her chien-ji piers, the only difference is her dyed hair, and maybe blushed cheeks, and let's be fair, not many have blushed cheeks unless they use makup, which is probably what Xiang'Pa uses.
  • Her body is probably the least uniform. Meanwhile the usual height of a chien-ji is 5'0, she falters to a much lower height. This is either genetic, or an abnormality at birth, and it can be both. She always ate healthy foods, and if she didn't have healthy meals in store, she wouldn't eat at all, mainly because she fattens really fast when eating, she prefers light meals to keep her shape and body, which as a result she can be very skinny, the perks is what muscle she has. What most admired of her in her home land was her core strength, it wasn't very strong, but it seemed to be a large strength compared to her fellow freerunners. She has a large tattoo on her back, it depicts a cherry blossom tree with a fox sleeping at the bottom of it.
  • Most of her clothing preferences are mainly loose dresses, but are tight around her torso, her fashion style revolves around grey and corals clothing, with a bit of cyan. Because her favorite animal is a fox, certain semblances depict foxes, often she wears a mask in the sewer system that depicts a fox. She loves to wear gold-colored jewlery, even if it isn't pure gold, she will wear it. She rarely wears formal clothing, when she does it generally is pure white, gilded with cyan, dressed with cyan flowers. Some improper accessories is a green flower hair piece, gold bracelets, and a gold-colored hair band for her, let's be frank, large pony tail.
  • Her tone of voice is extremely child-like, her voice equals to a fifteen year old chien-ji girl. Since part of her tongue was cut out, she will be extremely hard to understand, in common anyway, she is more understandable in Tatsugo language, since it requires less front of the tongue, and she spent longer learning how to improvise certain sounds with what tongue she has. With her insecurty, she stutters nearly constantly, her thoughts overwhelmed with thought when talking to people, only time she speaks purely normal is when she's talking to a very, very close friend in Tatsugo. Some languages she can speak is common, Tatsugo, loosely knows elvish, and loosely speaks Alt-Regalian.
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Personality

Cheery: Often very optimistic, and seemingly always in a good mood. Most would say her smiles are contagious. Pretty much in any situation she can be rather happy, given something drastic didn't happen, for example; maybe someone treated her terribly (if she was enslaved or kidnapped, she'd be a wreck the entire time), she probably lost something dear to her (ie, her doll, maybe a family semblance.), someone died, or someone doesn't want to be with her. This personality is out of habit, during past times she seemed to have to trudge through times, her alternate solution was to b "optimistic", "On the bright side".

Mature: Her family was always strict on how one should not act in debauchery. Through discipline (she was rather troublesome girl, and still is), and many ways of learning, the hard way, she eventually was shaped into the woman she is today. Not saying mature as in adult-like, it's really how she handles situations and her morals, and her lack of mentality to be into things that most children below the age twelve would be into (Not that anyone the age of twelve is immature.). It is not rare to see her slip up sometimes, despite her discipline, she can slip up and let what child that remains shadowing her maturity.

Crafty: A trait that seemed to have been self influenced, she is often, in her opinion, master of any craft. This is mainly her way of thinking that can construct things, or being sly in general. This mainly was achieved when she was out alone, having to use her brain power to survive, being a trickster, using her magical abilities to her advantage.

Skatterbrained: Often easily caught naive or simply distracted. However false when caught to a passionate project she will be rather glued, but doing something else can be easily swayed from her mind. Many examples occur; maybe she is doing a task, maybe a courier, it may take twice as long since there are many things else that are beautiful, or fun. However, it is easy to get her back on track, to keep her on the track is the overall struggle many have, even herself.

Insecure: Despite being cheery and appears to be a social butterfly, she is rather the opposite. People can easily menace over her, even if she in anyway is above them, the only exception is animals, children, and klienfolk. As a result, it won't be rare to find her speaking to someone with her art pad in front of her, or a book. She will often stutter, struggling to get a sentence out. She in no way refuses the company of people, it is hard to boost her self confidence to speak o them properly and be an equal.

Anxious: A trait that is born from her Insecure personality, she will very often worry, be paranoid, or simply over-worry about very molecular things. Examples follow; perhaps something broke? She will often over apologize, even if it was a cheap thing, or maybe she was distracted and worries she has disappointing whomever she was tasking for. She will oftenly worry about income, her job, relations with people, and pretty much anything related.

  • She will often trail off her voice when nervous, as though she was walking off causing a Doppler Effect. She will often unintentionally make a fool of herself by acting, "Cute." or, "child-like", mainly because she tries so hard being mature, she seems to do something irrational, or she can just trip. Often you can catch her singing to herself, often Yan-Tzu songs based on love, or songs that relate to herself.
  • She at young age was a large hobbyist, she developed many small ones like art, she is really good with cooking, she also loves to write stories, she often fantasizes about certain characters she made in her stories. When she's alone,, not a talent, but she loves to sing, when she is around people it doesn't sound as wonderful than she is alone.
  • A large talent, maybe the most useful and a big essential she isn't dead or in Grey-gate for life is her parkour abilities. Regalia is an intricate city with many areas to climb, if you don't know what parkour is, it's the ability for one to overcome obstacles, this can involve climbing a wall to high for jumping (which is basically using momentum to bring yourself up on top of a wall, given it is below fifteen feet), dispersing fall damage by rolling, vaulting over objects, also developing a talent for running, despite her legs not being strong. This talent is severely dangerous altogether, a slip up can be a matter of life or death, or all your bones broken. Another talent she has, not necesarily a large one, is her alchemy, she's not skilled but it's something that helped, only able to make potions below the level of 3/10. Anything above is possible, but it has a 72% chance of failing horribly.
Likes
  • Yang-Tzu meals; she loves meals from her homeland, in fact anyone who gives her one of these is quickly a best friend of hers.
  • Flowers; No one knows why she loves these so much, she generally finds a serenity with flowers, and their smells, she finds flowers as the greatest romantic gesture someone could ever give.
  • Scenic Waterfalls; It can be the forest in general that enamors her a lot. If one were to take her out on a trip including a waterfall, maybe a bridge with a river, anything that seems a cliche spot, she loves, this is probably due to how many novels she read regarding this.
  • Tea; probably her most favorite beverage, it grew on her after drinking it a lot back home. She often puts different herbs in it to develop a certain effect on her so she can do a task.
Dislikes
  • Spiders; She hates spiders, nothing much to it.
  • Slavery; As should most hate, she especially hates it, she oftenly has nightmres of being in captivity, and people taking advantage of her during this.
  • Violence; Not a major thing she hates, but it's something she'd rather avoid than anythign else. She will often try to stop the violence in any means, she will often have to resort to it as much as she hates it.


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Strengths

Strings Magic:
Being taught string magic as a utility, since her family ran a tavern, her string magic proved useful lifting cups and plates, she often used magic instead of hands since she was afraid her clumsiness would take advantage, not that string magic was a strong alternative, since it does require focus and no clumsiness. On the strength side, it is very useful when she's doing light handwork, pickpocketing, maybe she will make a puppet show for some extra coin. She will often use her Coercion strings to manipulate her enemy's arms, maybe manipulate someone into doing something that requires minimal movement.

Agility: with the decrease in strength, makes room to have dexterity, and avoidance. This skill is mainly used for evasion, such as running and using her small size to avoid rather large objects, weapons, even people. She always ran a lot, whether it be a fear or a danger, she seemed to get a knack for it, eventually doing seemingly complicated movements.

Improvisation
: She spent a lot of time alone, it was a matter of time when she found that she can improvise any object with anything else. Well, it's more of a thought process that doesn't think a set item is for a set thing, an object can be used for anything else. I guess you can say she's sort of a mcguiver of sorts.


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Weaknesses

Tongue Piece Removed:
As a punishment of what crimes she has done in the past, a part of her tongue was forcefully removed, namely the tip of it. Thanks to this, her insecurity isn't the only thing that makes her stutter, her tongue will have a severely hard time substituting sounds using the tip of one's tongue (which let's face it, most common words use the tip of the tongue, writing this out I found the tip of my tongue was used three fourths of the time.). As a result, she would either have to use what tongue she has left, which is actually pretty straining, or leave the entire syllable out.

Ill Musculature: This can be severely crippling when she is swinging a weapon, or lifting herself up on a ledge (the arms in comparison are strongest, so it is possible to climb over an edge). Often things above her weight or a little below are hard to carry, if not impossible. So helping assist someone in heavy work, is impossible, mainly why she finds herself doing mainly running missions.

Nervous Wreck: Offspring of many traits listed above, she has a hard time finding an area with no stress. When talking, she can break down randomly if the topic can get too out of hand, or maybe doing a task seems too daunting. Needless to say, she is always nervous, and giving as much description needed would be, let's face it, stressful.


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Life Story

(Ages 0-12)

  • She was born in the Yang-Tzu Isles, she only had one sister, who was much older than her.
  • Her family owned a tavern/tea shop for profit.
  • Once she turned twelve her father considered teaching her strings magic, however he never fully taught her until she was fourteen.

(Ages 13-15)

  • Became rather mature compared to her piers. However, didn't stop her from being a child
  • When she was fifteen she was able to fully help with her family's shop.
  • She was able to get a void connection to finally start casting string magic, however she was no more than a novice.



(Ages 15-17)

  • Xiang had a strong sense of greed when she hit seventeen. Often stealing from people when they were distracted by the world around them.
  • It was a matter of time when she was caught, as a punishment she had parts of her tongue removed.
  • Not being able to bear the shame, she left her home town, in hopes to restart.

(Ages 17-19)

  • She practiced her magic very often, but didn't stop her from her other hobbies/talents.
  • In the meantime she found the Yang-Tzu Isles no place for her. She left on a hired boat out, to her content it was Regalia the boat was heading for.
  • When she got there, the road to the city would be rather long, she decided to do a bit of street performing with what she knew in magic to impress and get profits from those who were oblivious to string magic.
  • When Xiang'Pa got there, she found that the city was rather large to what she imagined. Since she was so poor and had little food, she decided to take a risk and go at what she did previously, to steal from markets and people.
  • In the meanwhile a wulong seemed to do the same thign she was doing, except when he was caught, her got away with much agility. Xiang'Pa ran into him again, with much hesitation talking to him. Seeing that they had the same purpose, the Wulong decided to help her out by teaching her ways he got out. The two were rather salty with eachother since they were enemies in the home land, but they decided to settle their differences in the end.
  • Xiang'Pa met a fellow Chien-ji who offered a place for her to stay, with much hesitation and saying no, Xiang eventually said yes to the offer.
  • Xiang'Pa almost shoved herself down the sewer to avoid the Freya Lo's rule, not being so keen on her rule. She did come up to the surface once and a while.
  • To now present.
 
Last edited:
My Review:
  • The height range for any adult/grown Ch'ien-ji is 5-5'9 feet, please change your current height to be somewhere in this spectrum.
  • We do not need to know all the uses for axes, cut down that section.
  • Her life story is over the 900 word limit, please cut it down and or create a point form list of her life and put the larger life story into a spoiler.
  • Despite the fact that she is apparently skilled with an axe, I see no mention whatsoever in her life story of a point in her life where she used one. Either edit the weapon or add in where she learned her skill with it.
  • You seem to be imagining Yang-Tzu as a bustling trade center with multiple human cultures present. There are not large numbers of Northern or Ithanians living there, not enough to make up the majority of the "classes" she attended anyway. Then, to get to Regalia, she would have probably needed to go to either Farah'deen (Yang-Tzu's largest trading partner) or Farah or possibly even New Ceardia first.
  • Parkour is a modern invention that doesn't exist in the time period of Aloria. Acrobatics however, does. Remove the term from your life story, it doesn't make much sense being there. In addition, the idea of physical activity over magic use in Yang-Tzu makes little sense as they are such a magic focused people
  • The current year is 304 AC, not 303 AC
Please tag me once the edits have been done in green @DockedRelic
 
  • The height range for any adult/grown Ch'ien-ji is 5-5'9 feet, please change your current height to be somewhere in this spectrum.
  • We do not need to know all the uses for axes, cut down that section.
  • Her life story is over the 900 word limit, please cut it down and or create a point form list of her life and put the larger life story into a spoiler.
  • Despite the fact that she is apparently skilled with an axe, I see no mention whatsoever in her life story of a point in her life where she used one. Either edit the weapon or add in where she learned her skill with it.
  • You seem to be imagining Yang-Tzu as a bustling trade center with multiple human cultures present. There are not large numbers of Northern or Ithanians living there, not enough to make up the majority of the "classes" she attended anyway. Then, to get to Regalia, she would have probably needed to go to either Farah'deen (Yang-Tzu's largest trading partner) or Farah or possibly even New Ceardia first.
  • Parkour is a modern invention that doesn't exist in the time period of Aloria. Acrobatics however, does. Remove the term from your life story, it doesn't make much sense being there. In addition, the idea of physical activity over magic use in Yang-Tzu makes little sense as they are such a magic focused people
  • The current year is 304 AC, not 303 AC
Please tag me once the edits have been done in green @DockedRelic
Changes will happen!
Sorry for the off ideas. And the overly long story.
 
And Changes made @The_Shadow_King3 sorry if the story seemed a bit turbulent in concept, rest assured it is fixed.
Just to note, in the future, please follow a reviewer's instructions. You didn't color any of your edits green so it is a bit hard for me to find immediately what was changed about the application.

Regardless, approved.