Wren Lufir *critique Me Hard*

Discussion in 'WIP Character Sheets' started by _Boreas, Jul 19, 2016.

  1. _Boreas

    _Boreas Your local Goldfish baker

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    Basic Information

    • Full Name: Wren Lufir

    • Age: 57

    • Gender: Male

    • Race: Talar

    • Main Ambition: Wren aspires to open a business that revolves around tarot card readings, fortune telling, and sales of varied oddities.

    • Special Permission: N/A

    Basic Information Expansion
    • Wren was traveling around Aloria for several years with a circus for his strange psychic, and divination abilities. He stopped in Regalia for a few weeks with his band of freaks and performers, and instantly fell in love with the lively city.

    • The Talar had a fairly normal upbringing being the eldest son, living with his mother, father, younger brother, and twin sisters in the capital of Silverwind. Although he had an ideal childhood for his given conditions, he always felt different as a child; as he had several precognitive dreams, and often felt the presences of spirits.

    • The fortune teller’s main ambitions are to open a business of sorts that revolves around his psychic and divination abilities. But he also aspires to become popular, and well known. Though he doesn't know it yet, He also hopes to reunite his family in the bustling city of regalia, after his bussiness gets going.


    Visual Information

    • Eye Color: Crocodile green.

    • Hair Color: Dark brown.

    • Hair Style: Unkempt messy hair that hangs too about neck length.

    • Skin Color: Fair olive tone.

    • Clothing: Black moth-eaten trousers, mindful-gray shirt, and his old worn leather boots.

    • Height: 6’ 3”

    • Weight: 160 lbs

    • Body Build: Lean

    • Weapon of Choice: Dagger (No experience or training)
    Visual Information Expansion

    [​IMG]
    • Wren is fairly tall and lean; a perfect showcase of the generic Talar. He has a slight amount of dark chest hair and a faint happy trail that connects to the hair on his chest; Overall, little body hair.

    • Identifying with the gypsy culture strongly, the Talar often wears loose comfortable somewhat tattered clothing. Usually, he can be seen in a loose mindful-gray shirt with rolled up sleeves, under a tattered blue and tan vest, with black trousers, and old worn leather boots. He has several gold and silver earrings in both of his ears, and is always wearing his crystal point necklace, along with a rope bracelet. Wren usually carries his deck of Tarot cards, as he is commonly asked for readings when meeting new people. His deck of cards are kept in a small black matte box with a gold trim.
    [​IMG]
    • Wren can speak both the common tongue and Modern Elvish. He has a very typical accent, tone, and speed while talking.

    Personality and Abilities

    Personality Traits

    • (+)Cultured - Being a member of a circus for several years, Wren was exposed to a fairly unique culture. Instantly falling in love with the lifestyle, he adopted the culture as his own. Though he may be near-sighted to the other cultures around him, some would see his taste as admirable. Valuing art, music, fine foods, color, and parties of course; Wren knows enough and has acquired a unique taste.

    • (+)Sociable - Wren has always been bold in social situations. Spending lots of his time at parties, and in highly social areas, he has learned the ins and outs of having a good time. Making friends comes easily to him, and the gypsy would never decline an invite to a proper party. Surprisingly, he only considers a few people his good friend, and thoroughly enjoys being shady towards those he abhors.

    • (+)Spiritual - The Talar has always had a heightened awareness of the energies around him, and a strong sense of purpose in his life. Though he doesn’t identify with any particular religion, he believes in a few properties of the Faith of Estale. He often talks about fate, spirits, past lives and divination around people he trusts when appropriate. His personality is built hugely around his beliefs, and is a key part of Wren’s personality.

    • (-)Defiant - The fortune teller hardly allows people to boss him around. Having a background of freedom, it’s hard for Wren to be told what to do. He often gets caught doing exactly what someone told him not to do, purely because he doesn't want to be told what to do. Provided, this irritates many, and he has gotten close to getting in fights for it.

    • (-)Dramatic - Whether it’s his clairsentience taking its toll, or just him; it’s no secret Wren can be over dramatic; capable of blowing anything out of proportion. Although Wren prefers to avoid physical confrontation, when someone makes him angry, he won’t hesitate to spread rumors or twist the story of a situation to get people to take his side. Sadly, being fairly good at it, he has burnt many bridges. It could possibly be a cry for attention, or bottled up aggression manifesting.

    • (-)Flamboyant - The Talar has always had slightly feminine qualities; most noticeably in social environments. Being aware of this, Wren often questions his sexuality, and he has found himself bisexual; though it is a secret only he knows. People often times pick up on his behavior and tantalize him for it, even accusing him of homosexuality. This has made him increasingly self-conscious and has thrown him into an identity crisis of sorts.
    Strengths

    • Wise - His wisdom, going hand in hand with his spirituality, is exceedingly advanced for his age. Many of his friends go to him for advice, and he always seems to have the answer. Many outsiders view him as wise, though he does not realize it.

    • Adaptive - Living a majority of his life traveling in a rickety, but cozy caravan, the Talar has learned to adapt to his surrounding fast. He lives by the motto: “life moves along, and doesn’t stop. The only way to live is to keep up with it.” Wren actually enjoys having to adapt to his surroundings, and prefers it over settling down.

    • Social Intelligence - The Talar has always been extremely social. He has learned how to read people's emotion, and intentions like a book. Maybe his psychic ability comes into play slightly, but there is no doubt he can pick up on people's emotions and alternative motives.
    Weaknesses
    • Intuition - Though being a psychic may seem like a divine gift to some, it can also be a curse. Along with Wren's gift of clairvoyance, clairsentience, clairaudience, and claircognizance comes many negatives. Wren is always exceedingly vulnerable to possession, and to spirits in general. Not only that but, he often unconsciously picks up on people's emotions and can sometimes take them on unknowingly; often resulting in mood swings and depression.

    • Addiction - Having an addictive personality; the addictive qualities of Opiates mixed with Hookah have ever since damaged Wren's financial security and mental state. He knows it’s wreaking havoc on his body, but every time he tries to quit, withdrawals bully him into relapse. Opiates have limited Wren’s productivity and has made it difficult for Wren to save money. His addiction will likely stifle his progress on opening his new business.
    • Uneducated - Due to the fact Wren spent most of his early years living in the rural countryside of Silverwind, the Talar never received a proper education. Many fellow Talar look down upon him for that very reason. Although he has a general understanding, how the world works, he is still relatively ignorant. He obviously doesn't understand how many things work, such as alcohol's effect on the body, and a variety of other things.
    • Overly Moral - The elf has always valued his morality, and it often gets in the way of him making serious decisions. He often has a hard time being logical if it affects someone negatively along the way. He usually opts out for the usual hard way of things in life.
    Personality and Abilities Expansion

    Skills

    • Astrology - The Talar recently took an interest in the stars, and has taught himself numerous constellations. He has been trying to memorize the phases of the moon and movements of some particular celestial body movements. Though he is nowhere near talented, he is just simply able to gaze into the night sky and understand it slightly more than the next.
    Talents
    • Divination - Wren has spent virtually his entire life learning several variations of divination, and he has become surprisingly good with many different forms. He finds cartomancy, crystallomancy, and palmistry to come naturally to him.
    • Violin - The fortune teller, Having spent time in the circus, had plenty of time between destinations to himself. He decided to take up learning to play the violin, and became impressively skilled with it. He rarely plays small gigs, but aspires to join a band, or perform for larger crowds.
    Likes
    • Animals - Wren has always had a soft spot for animals. Wren generally admires the loyalty animals exhibit to their owners. As soon as the Talar has the funds; he plans to adopt some sort of pet.

    • Heights - The Talar has always found the rush of heights to be pleasing. He finds it incredibly exciting to think that one mistake could send him plunging to his death. But yet the danger of being in high places usually comes with breathtaking beauty; deadly beauty.

    • Magic - The fortune teller has always taken an interest in magic. He finds it incredibly fascinating. He holds high regards for the mages in his life.
    Dislikes

    • Violence - Wren is a firm believer that all types of violence is redundant, and that there is always a way around violence with words. Wren is generally annoyed by violence and aggression because he feels it is highly uncivilized. He sometimes will even completely leave altogether if there is a fight or something of sorts.

    • Meat - Being a vegetarian, Wren just dislikes the smell of meat. When other people around him are eating it he won’t generally say anything, but dislikes being around it.

    • Flying Insects - When Wren was around the age of eight, he was hunting for bugs underneath old rotted logs and small rocks outside of his small house in Silverwind. He, unfortunately, flipped over a rock that had a Hornets nest underneath it, and he was swarmed by them. He was lucky enough to be near a small pond that he jumped into, and avoided major injury, although he was mentally scarred by the experience.

    None

    Life Story

    Intro

    Wren was born a healthy baby to his mother and father in their shanty little home, in northern Silverwind. Both performers of a traveling circus; his mother was known as Chantel The Mystic, and his father, Grey the flying trapeze. his parents both had been in the circus for as long as they could remember, and they naturally gravitated towards each other as they were two of the few Talar performing with the band of Ithanians. They quickly fell in love, and eventually conceived Wren. Their entire lives they had little to no responsibilities performing with the circus, and at first thought their child seemed to them as a burden, though they both eventually became delighted at the thought of being a mother and father. Once Chantel discovered she was pregnant, she decided she wanted to temporarily settle down to bring their new child into the world, and to raise him in a stable environment; which the circus didn't offer. They found a cosy shack in Northern Silverwind, atop a hill overlooking the seas, and decorated it with tapestries, and bobbles and trinkets they had collected over the years of their travels. After they gave birth to their eldest son, Wren; Chantel became pregnant with another son two years later and twin girls another three years after that.

    Born - 12


    The Talar had a golden childhood. Although it was rocky start considering his parents' lives were completely transformed with responsibilities. Living in the rural countryside of Silverwind, Wren only socialized with his siblings and spent most of his days in nature. By the age of nine, Wren started exhibiting strange behaviors. He oftentimes would cry if he ever witnessed someone hurt, or crying; even if he had nothing to do with the given person. His mother was quick to realize the possibility of Wren inheriting her gift. She didn't hesitate to warn him about the possibility, and promptly educated him. She taught him how to meditate, how to protect himself from evil energies, and many other useful things that he still practices to this day. His abilities continued to manifest in even more obvious ways as he got older. Eventually, Wren had his first precognitive dream at the age of eleven just a few days before his twelfth birthday.


    Age: 13 - 18


    At the age of thirteen Wren had began to take on all the beliefs as his parents. Valuing art, music, food, and nature, Wren spent most of his free time singing, dancing, eating, and drawing with his family. They were all tightly woven together, and seamlessly functioned as one. Wren began to experience more and more precognitive visions, and his mediumship strengthened; opening himself to psychic attack. His gift took the forefront of his life and he quickly grew. As Wren became more stable and mature, Chantel and Grey began to talk about joining the circus again; this time as a family. At the age of fourteen, the family had left their shanty home in Northern Silverwind to join the circus Chantel and Grey had been performers in the years before Wren. His parents began to teach Wren the common tongue between their destinations and performances, to assure he would be able to communicate effectively with the many strangers they would meet while traveling.


    Age: 19 - 21


    By the age of eighteen, Wren had become fluent in the common tongue, and flourished in the new exciting life of the circus. This was the time when he thrived socially. He made many friends, and had the freedom to spend time in social environments. Although he wasn’t working yet, and had no income, he thoroughly enjoyed being in the circus with his family. His mother began to teach him various forms of divination, although he took a specific liking too taromancy, and the ways of the tarot cards. His mother also taught him palmistry and crystallomancy, and he casually practiced all three forms of divination. By the age of 20, Wren concluded that he was gifted with clairvoyance, clairsentience, clairaudience, and claircognizance; as they all had manifested themselves multiple times. At the age of twenty-one Wren had a firm grasp on divination, and he began to assist his mother with readings.


    Age: 22 - Current


    Even at the age of twenty-two Wren was still extremely close with his parents, and was thoroughly enjoying being abroad, gazing into the future for the uncertain. He was now often the substitute for his mother's tent when they weren't running it together. The circus began to advertise Chantel and Wren as "The Mystics", causing their popularity at the circus to skyrocket. Wren continued his days, gazing into the future, and partying between. By the age of twenty-five he took sudden interest in a colleague who was a rather talented violinist, but a better tightrope walker. He convinced his colleague to teach him to play the violin, and she happily agreed. By the time he was thirty, he had become fluent with reading sheet music. He occasionally took up small gigs at small parties along the road of his travels; singing and fiddling gypsy shanties he had picked up from the many years of being part of the circus. By the time he was forty, the novelty of the circus began to wear off. as he wanted to permanently fortune-tell as his profession, but unfortunately he felt his mother’s tent was not his own. He began to aspire to open his own business, though he was not at a good place at the time to do so. Today, Wren’s circus stopped in regalia for one of its shows, and he instantly fell in love with the city. He hopes that he can open his small business here, but first he has to figure out if he is financially able to make it in the glorious city of Regalia.
     
    #1 _Boreas, Jul 19, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2016
  2. _Boreas

    _Boreas Your local Goldfish baker

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    Got new interests as I worked on my previous character sheet, and made an altogether completely new character. Just gonna tag you as you demonstrated interest in my last WIP char sheet. If you aren't in the mood to review; no worries. :)

    @Kyoto Wolf
     
  3. Parz1vol

    Parz1vol Chicken

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    Thoroughly cracks knuckles.

    Friendly Peer Review Buffering...

    • After looking over things, the only issue I've found is that "Forgiving" is more of a personality trait, rather than a strength, and I'd suggest you replace it with something else that could still be considered a social strength.
    • I also found that you have no weapon of choice listed, and while it is understood that your character dislikes physical confrontation, he should at least have a preferred weapon. So, while no proficiency is needed, at least one preferred weapon should be listed.
    @_Boreas
     
    #3 Parz1vol, Jul 19, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2016
  4. _Boreas

    _Boreas Your local Goldfish baker

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    Thanks for your time! Made the suggested changes. @Parz1vol
     
  5. Parz1vol

    Parz1vol Chicken

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    If it were my decision, based on what you have, I'd approve this.
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  6. _Boreas

    _Boreas Your local Goldfish baker

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    Added Life Story. Probably has lots of typos! I'm gonna proofread it tomorrow with a fresh mind. Feel free to look over it if you'd like! :)
     
  7. Parz1vol

    Parz1vol Chicken

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    So, I like it, and it's well thought out. My only hesitation that I've developed with the character sheet so far is his ability to see spirits and display psychic abilities. In the official cannon of Aloria, spirits come in a variety of shapes and sizes and are tied directly to the local amounts of primal energy. Primal energy is directly tied to primal magic, and currently the only continent with enough primal energy to make spirits visible as anything substantial, is Muird. The whole cannonicity of psychics in the lore seems a bit... meeeeh. I think you'd have to consult lore staff directly on that.
     
  8. _Boreas

    _Boreas Your local Goldfish baker

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    Alright, Thankyou! I appreciate your concerns!
     
  9. _Boreas

    _Boreas Your local Goldfish baker

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    Thanks for the Peer Review! Moving this to Staff Review! @Parz1vol
     
  10. Parz1vol

    Parz1vol Chicken

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    I wish you luck!
     

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