Preserved Sheet Wilwarin Eolora

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Goldifish

texan (derogatory)
Joined
Jul 27, 2016
Messages
390
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Points
383
Age
23
Location
Atlantis
∙∙·▫▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ Wilwarin Eolora ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫ₒₒ▫ᵒᴼᵒ▫▫·∙∙


╚»★«╝ Basic Information ╚»★«╝
  • Full Name: Wilwarin Eolora, or Wil, Willy, War, or Wilwar.
  • Age: 98.
  • Gender: Agender.
  • Race: Yanar.
  • Affliction: Dulofall
╚»★«╝ Visual Information ╚»★«╝

  • Eye Color: Orange.
  • Hair Color: Leafy Green.
  • Hair Style: Vines that imitate dreadlocks behind a bark headband. Wil has a lot of bright blooms dotting their head at the moment.
  • Skin Color: Bark.
  • Clothing: A functional dress that they can move in.
  • Height: 5'1.


╚»★«╝ Skill Information ╚»★«╝

  • Total Points: 60. (+20 Yanar Boost.)
    • +20 Nature Care Sciences. (+20 Yanar Boost.)
    • +20 Medical Sciences. (+20 Proficiency Points)
    • +20 Alchemy Sciences. (+20 Proficiency Points)
    • +10 Shielding. (+10 Proficiency Points)
    • +10 Metallurgy Arts. (+10 Proficiency Points)
  • Body Shape:
    • Athletic.
    • "Yanar are completely immune to all Physical Stat calculations. Yanar can Ovalate, which means they absorb the Body Shape of another person, and as such are not attached to any individual Statistic." -Wiki, underneath Body Chart.
  • Languages: 2.
    • Common. (Fluent.)
    • Modern Altalar. (Fluent.)

╚»★«╝ Personality ╚»★«╝

First Paragraph
When Wil first meets someone, they put all of their energy into making a great first impression. Usually, this strategy works wonders. Wil usually can figure out what a person is like in a few moments and modify how they act to be better suited for someone. However, that can make things rough when nobody can agree on what Wil is actually like. Most often they're described as kind and considerate, because they are, and that's how they usually meet strangers by offering help of some sort. It also does help that they emit constant pheromones that can make them relatively attractive.

Second Paragraph
Wil has their insecurities like anyone else. Thoughts that are completely average pass their mind, like 'Am I going to die by fire tomorrow? Do they like me a lot? Why do they keep commenting on my hair? Is my hair on fire?' etc. Most often though their thoughts are focused on others, if they're in need of help or if they seem to hate Wilwarin for some odd reason. Some could say that Wil does this to lure in victims, but Wil gets a high off of helping people and spreading Dulofall is an added bonus.

Third Paragraph
Family to Wil is basically a close friendship. Wil's oldest friend is Iladar, the Altalar who basically raised them. They've got Wil's respect and trust, which can be rare for Wil to give out among the regular offering of help. Wil's other friends are still close, but many can't seem to even compare to the bond those two share. To these friends, they have Wil's respect, but they are almost like play dolls for them, to twist and contort to feel bad for Wilwarin when they want, and infect at Wil's slightest convenience. What are friends for?

Fourth Paragraph
Wil would like to be considered good, even if their morals are more a shade of grey. Wilwarin hates the bad people, and favors the good. They're pretty simple in the way they view the grand scheme of things: everything is black and white. Right now, Wilwarin wants to stay firmly on the side of good, but instead their want for blood has seemed to push them towards the direction of evil. It doesn't help they like to manipulate friends into being entertainment.

╚»★«╝ Life Story ╚»★«╝
  • Upon the arrival of one Altalar to a tribe of Cielothar came one Wilwarin, abandoned out on the plains of Daendroc. They seemed to have only been a day or two old, and the circumstances that had lead to Wil being left alone were clearly a mystery. It was pure luck that Iladar had found them on their journey and had decided to not leave them to the wilderness. While there were many Yanar in the village willing to take them under their wing, Wil decided to stay with Iladar.
  • While growing up, Wil made themself into a useful companion for Iladar, sticking to her side like glue. They picked up alchemy and medicinal practices along the way, which wasn't terribly hard because of their natural affinity for plants. Wilwarin was undoubtedly a book worm as well, so they weren't fussy for entertainment on long stretches of travel. However, when it came time for Iladar to take to her guise as a Kathar slave, Wilwarin was told to travel to her family's home and take refuge there.
  • At the Eolora home, Wil took up gardening for the Altalar to earn their keep and also learned a notable bit about shields and metallurgy. When Iladar finally returned home it didn't take more than a few years for them to leave again, this time setting their sights on Regalia.
  • It was in Regalia that Wilwarin came into contact with Dulofall, and by disastrous means, had developed the disease in its entirety. However, not all was bad in Regalia. Wil has made plenty of friends with their unique brand of kindness and has a nice steady job as a barkeep for the Golden Willow.
 
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Here is my review:

  • Personality
    • In most of these, you've met the bare minimum amount of sentences, but they're all quite short. I'd like you to expand in detail, so readers can grasp the character more fully.
    • In the second paragraph, detail why they're so confident. You mention it has something to do with their raising, but I'd like more details about that. Is there really nothing the character is afraid of, or dislikes about themselves or their ability?
    • In the third paragraph, why is the character bloodthirsty/set on vengeance? What in their upbringing caused such a (comparatively) young character to be this way?

Please make these changes and let me know once you have!
 
@apath I changed proficiencies and rewrite the personality, ignore the broken image
 
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@apath extensive revision. They're no longer a Haaven and instead a decimar, aged them up to 24 and meddled with proficiency again.
Get it meddle as in metal because metallurgy hahaha
i'm so sorry it happened literally right after you approved the first edit, i owe you a free skin reshade for your patience.
 
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@apath i have to redo the entire app again, so please reject it, I'm going to post it on an entirely new thread
 
@apath okay i forgot to change the tag i just, put it all here.

i've changed just about everything, including but not limited to: name, age, proficiency, personality, life story, and even looks
 
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