Preserved Sheet William Hardt

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FashionBeard

FashionBeard
Joined
Jan 5, 2015
Messages
7
Reaction score
35
Points
0
Location
The void (Send help)
Faction
Arakdan
Roleplay Guilds
The Regalian Freedom Cell
Full Name: William Storm Hardt
Age: 58
Gender: Male
Race: Alior (Dressolini)
Main Ambition: Protection of himself
Special Permission: champion

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Expanded Basic Information
Position in Regalia: William was dragged away from the front line to a apothecary in regalia as even though his kneecap was in pieces he said he would crawl to the front and still fight. Once fully recovered he was told he would never be fit enough to return to the front line with the injury he obtained. William decides his next choice was to become a guard to either the empire or a noble.


Character's upbringing: William's mother was a whore and his father went missing at birth. William's mother was as whore, Williams number of siblings is unknown. William's mother was not married to his father thus making William a bastard with many number of siblings. On a side note he hates the name he has because his father came up with it.


Secondary ambitions: Short term ambition : Protect those that may be of use. To crush the spirit of overly happy people. William hates overly happy people, he doesn't mind people with a smile. William just hate those that have a smile, all the time, it makes him cringe. William will make comments/insult them until their spirit is crushed or they leave.

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Skill Information

School: Blackmark

Level: Champion
Source : Attended Blackmark school : Tutored by uncle

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Visual Information

Eye Color: Dark Green

Hair Color: White / Grey Hair

Hair Style: Messy Lion

Skin Color: Pale

Clothing: Constantly Changing (prefers color crimson in most attire)

Height: 6 foot

Bodybuild: StrongMan

Weapon of Choice:
Primary : Bottom spiked flat top curved war door tower shield
Secondary : Knuckle Duster

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Extra Visual Information


Facial features: William has large dark green eyes but it doesn't always seem like he does have large eyes due to his constant 'dead inside' facial expression. William's mouth is not visible because the amount of beard he has, when he eats food the food then seemingly disappears into his beard. William has average sized alior ears. William has an average forehead with lots of grey or white hair on his head.
William's expression is usually mundane, the same facial expression of those who who die with their eyes open. William carries many scars on his body, 5 under his beard, and one over his eye (cliche warning).
Body description: 6 foot. William's body shape : Inverted Triangle. William is pale everywhere. William only ever drinks milk, tea, or water, I'd say pretty big strong bones. William is 4% body fat. William's left knee cap has been replaced with a metal one. William has swollen legs from wearing thick around outside of regalia and some lean arms from carrying around his heavy shield. Weight : 245 pounds.


Fashion appearance: William wears a lot of Red, Crimson, White, and black, usually carries around some sort of shield. Always carries around a closed jar of milk, A lemon, and Beard Trimmers. William loves milk so he carries it around to drink it when he likes. The Lemon is so he can squeeze it into the wounds or eyes of his enemy. The Beard trimmers is so William can look crisp always.


Voice description: William Usually talks with a loud voice, it's deem and has a pulled chest (high larynx) when speaking. William is unable to reach higher tones than how he already speaks. His voice when he yells is powerful and can easily get the attention of those who are especially easy to startle.

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Personality and Abilities


First Paragraph: William's face constantly makes him looks dead inside, his only facial expression can only be shown through his eye brows because his beard is too thick to see his mouth. William is very large man with lots of scars all over his body. William's first impression would be intimidating for most. Large, muscular, William has a beaten up look, scars all over his face from war though the first thing people notice is his big white fluffy beard. Usually one would think that William doesn't want anything to do with them unless they want something to do with him. People would notice the 'I want nothing to do with you' attitude especially when speaking to William, if they don't get it from his appearance.


Second Paragraph: William has a load of confidence accompanied with dark humor and sarcastic thoughts. William emotionally is usually grumpy.
William often thinks how great he is or how great he could be. William personally thinks poorly of everyone with no facial hair, there are exceptions such as races that are unable to grow facial hair, however William feels facial hair is the way to express how manly you are. William usually thinks about Bees, Beards, Shields, or missions he's been given when alone. William does fear the loss of equipment such as his shield, and allies who could help him in the future. Unless it spells out death William will bend over backwards just to grab what he'd lost. William will break your face if you grab at his beard.


Third Paragraph: Around friends because William has no family; William is protective of his friends as long as they show a deep respect for him. Whether they want his assistance or not, he doesn't seem to care for the opinion of his friends and does what he wants. Greater signs of sarcasm are displayed to friends, and more intense dark humor. William once had to carry someone's dead body to the slums t0 get a coffin made and have a burial, one of his friends made a joke about how he died trying to swing off some rotten wood to get into someones window, William laughed and slapped his friend with the hand of a deadman and tell him his joke was bad.


Fourth Paragraph: Thinks life is something to be protected but doesn't care for anyones opinion (unless it comes to cooking food). William does very much appreciate violence and won't step in to separate any brutal fight unless required by those who hire him. He isn't necessarily evil or good. At one point at a noble estate he was asked to separate some ex-possessed person from the leg of some poor elf, William achieved this by going out and purchasing a box of bees, coming back, shaking it, and releasing the bees so everyone ran away.

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Talents

Cooking : William thinks of himself as an amazing cook, but will take constructive opinions, otherwise they're to be ignored. William cooks meats the best. William doesn't have standards to cooking, as long as it doesn't seriously affect health and has a good taste. William spent a lot of time working for Dr.Fong once as a bouncer and again as a chef in some haunted mansion he was supposed to lure people into. William noticed the flying fruits and kitchen ware but didn't really care, in fact he actually asked some of the spirits to hand him various kitchen ware, they seem to do so in a stabbing fashion more than he'd like.

Quick Wit :
William constantly has to make quick choices. A good example of this is if William can save himself or save allies, and if either can get out alive. William must also make quick choices when choosing who to treat well versus those that aren't of any help and thus will be treated poorly. William usually uses his quick wit to make attempts to predict where the enemy might strike. While William isn't perfect or even good at this in the mix of combat it does occasionally come in handy to make this a strength.

Language proficiency :
William can speak and understand skodje, however not write or read it. William can understand elvish but not speak, read, or write it. William learned all these from people over the years. Skodje from his father and elvish from friends during childhood. William was taught elvish before the war from friends teasing William about only knowing common and nothing else. Somewhere kind enough to teach him.


Champion BlackMark : Very skilled with a shield in combat. Can use the shield to deliver considerable force happen he try and bash a heartless goon. William not needing to focus on anything but the enemy and his shield he might be able to blocks ones attacks until they're worn out. William's shield has small spikes on its bottom to better dig into the ground, Or bodies.. William could on occasion out last those in fights sometimes without being harmed directly. William without any weapons will search for the nearest largest object to use even if it's unwieldy, endurance comes into play here. Most armor or heavy clothing feels natural to William.

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Weaknesses


Replaced Knee Cap: When fighting in the elven war William lost his knee cap and had it replace with a metal knee cap. Now if William is hit in the knee the leg will collapse under him. Someone threw mace at william while running through one of the elven camps. After William was hit with the mace William crawled at the enemy, while the medics had to drag him to the back line whilst announcing how he 'is' the shield. William was later honorably discharged due to injury.


Hearing : What did you say? : William is hard of hearing and naturally makes him loud. He is very un-stealthy because of this.This would be like a fire alarm being sneaky. William cannot hear whispering too well unless is a completely silent room. Williams bad hearing is because some jerk scratched a helmet he wore with a house key making the most devastating sound he'd ever heard. His bad hearing makes it hard to sneak up on.

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Personality and Abilities (Expansion)



Likes
Bee Keeper : William before coming to regalia all those years ago was a beekeeper for his nearest bandit camp.
Chef : William loves to cook, it's a good feeling to have people enjoy your food that you made yourself.


Dislikes

No Booze : William hates the taste of boose and feels it corrupts people.
Sharp Weapons : William always thought sharp weapons like daggers and swords were a pathetic choice of weapon, limited to so much.

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Life Story


(1-15) As a child before the elven war William was taught skodje by his father, learned elvish from teasing elvish children. William very much enjoyed the thought of being there for his friends. William took up cooking with his father, his whore mother was never seen. William was always rather greedy when coming to money, his blackmart father often held on to coin for armor repair, so William had to keep on him what he could so he could support himself.

(16-30) Once William's father left for another woman William was left by himself to become a beekeeper to supply bandit camps with honey for their food. On the side William was being taught cold forging. William didn't have much not even friends, as the war was soon to start and tension began to rise before the elven war.

(31-34) William moved from the bandit camps to give regalia a shot. There William was taught how to cook by chefs in Dr.Fong's mansion. William became a chef for Dr.Fong for a time and after the mansion stopped supplying William with coin William tried becoming a bouncer, telling Dr.Fong he was a BlackMark. Dr.Fong found out this was a lie when William acted like an absolute rookie when throwing a drunk man out of the tavern, in a drunken brawl William was beaten up. William left as a bouncer after being called the worst blackmark in history, William had never even trained to be one, he just lied for the coin.

(35-51) William left regalia after being humiliated to become a blackmark to be taught by his uncle. In the teachings of his uncle he was taught why shields are superior to every other weapon, especially sharp weapons like swords. Now because of William's uncle William would never pick up a sharp weapon unless it was life or death. Years training to prove his worth, even years on the battlefront where his knee cap was lost in battle after someone had thrown a mace. The elven war took his knee cap, when dragged to the back line after crawling at the enemy with nothing to fight with but a rock William was honorably discharged.William returned a blackmark champion.


(52-58)
William has been working under and for the law for these years. Never seeming to find another job involving Dr.Fong. William felt it necessary to change his name to better conceal his identity. Asking others to give him a name after announcing he doesn't have one. William as of 57 works for the noble house of Úlfurtönn as a house guard. As for 58 William served in '
The Charge On Saint Helena'
and became a mercenary for the empire .As Well as dancing with his shield during the emperors first year.
 
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Peer review
  • You cannot be a grandmaster without being a trustee; I suggest lowering the rank down to champion.
  • You should put all expansions in a spoiler
  • Keep in mind strongman body builds are not meant for agility, they'd favour strength, it's almost physically impossible to dodge an arrow, specially for a strongman build. I suggest just removing fast-reaction time and if you want too put it to fast-thinker as this will show that he can plan the aftermath of the future (Not exactly the future, but more like a close estimation of what will happen in the future.) Though, this talent will need a lot of more working to prove to the aspirant that you're not planning on using this time I metagame or otherwise cheat.
  • I want you to get more I can depth as of how he was taught including the school of blackmark. I cannot tell if he was taught by his uncle, and if that is true; you wouldn't be able to reach champion rankings.
  • I feel this characters is quite balanced out, excluding the reaction time talent; well done.
Keep in mind to expect another peer review within 24 hours, I really need to sleep ATM. Anyway, if a aspirants claims the application then don't expect one.

That's my simple, small peer review!
@FashionBeard
 
Peer review
Small peer review!

@FashionBeard
Sorry about the grandmaster thing. I originally was going for trustee perms until I was told it's not as good as it sounds.
Thanks for catching my mistake! Also good catch on my talent 'reaction time'. I reworked the Talent into what I think to be a better fit to my character. Thanks!
 
  • I want you to rewrite your first personality and abilities paragraph. While including physical details is fine, this section is more so how a stranger sees them on first appearance. What personality traits to they see? What behaviors does William have that people would notice immediately? Just explain that if I were to see him, what is the first thing I would see.
  • For the second paragraph I want to see some sort of fear or emotional weakness. Does he doubt his ability at times? Just round out the character with some sort of weakness you can reflect on when you play them.
This is all I have time for at the moment, complete the above if you catch this before I finish the review. @FashionBeard
 
@DrDrago @Wumpatron
I'll do my changes in green to show that I did them when I have time. I'll tag you again when i'm done!
I'll make the changed black when the app is done.
 
  • Change the Champion Blackmark Talent. The ability to move the shield with any degree of swiftness is reserved for Grandmasters. You can take blows and deliver your own, but you do not possess any speed involving the shield. Same thing for the stamina. Blackmarks are not quick, but they are bulky and take most damage.

    Make the above change and tag myself once completed @FashionBeard
 
@Wumpatron I did edits in orange! I removed any mention of endurance and left it up to occasion.
I also removed mentions of speed!
 
@Wumpatron I felt need to ask. Could William wear a hard wooden armor he perhaps got from a tree for his mercenary work?
This hinders his ability to bend over and anything that requires the bending of the spine. Though I figured hard wood is better than hard leather. If i'm wrong or this isn't okay please say so. If I actually didn't need to ask I apologize!
 
@Wumpatron I felt need to ask. Could William wear a hard wooden armor he perhaps got from a tree for his mercenary work?
This hinders his ability to bend over and anything that requires the bending of the spine. Though I figured hard wood is better than hard leather. If i'm wrong or this isn't okay please say so. If I actually didn't need to ask I apologize!
Hard wood wouldn't be possible to form for armor. It would be too awkward and just make him incapable of doing anything. You wouldn't be able to really do much physical rp and even if you tried to do it, you wouldn't be able to rp all the downsides without missing some. So no wooden armor.
 
I also added some recent changed such as my service to the
The Charge On Saint Helena. Mentioning I'm a merc, and announcing I was at the ball for the emperor! In the story section!
@Wumpatron
(Instead of correcting any of what I just said i'm going to add that I was tired when I posted this)
 
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@Wumpatron
I'd like to add the lowest level (Unless I can go higher without not being champion) of Breer for some variation. If not that then i'd like some opinions on what to go with. I'm willing to add it into my story where it fits. I'd also like to add a very basic knowledge on medical work, such as knowing how to stitch himself from many times being healed by others. I'm willing to ring up another weakness or two if either of those would be talents. and fit everything into the story! I would have done this originally but forgot to.

Let it be known that none of these changes would conflict RP i've already had!
 
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@Wumpatron
I'd like to add the lowest level (Unless I can go higher without not being champion) of Breer for some variation. If not that then i'd like some opinions on what to go with. I'm willing to add it into my story where it fits. I'd also like to add a very basic knowledge on medical work, such as knowing how to stitch himself from many times being healed by others. I'm willing to ring up another weakness or two if either of those would be talents. and fit everything into the story! I would have done this originally but forgot to.

Let it be known that none of these changes would conflict RP i've already had!
It's a no for all of that. This is because the lowest levels of Breer are already a part of the Blackmark training, and much more effective with the Blackmark version. As for the basic medical knowledge, that's also a no, because that makes your character both skilled in combat, and able to mend their wounds, which I cannot allow.
 
It's a no for all of that. This is because the lowest levels of Breer are already a part of the Blackmark training, and much more effective with the Blackmark version. As for the basic medical knowledge, that's also a no, because that makes your character both skilled in combat, and able to mend their wounds, which I cannot allow.
@Wumpatron Well I did ask if there were other ways to add variation, if you can't think of any that'll be that until I have to update my story.