Wanted: Squire

[slurmancer]

[A young Guillaume and his last squire during the Ranger Crisis, colorized]

[!]
ATTENTION DENIZENS OF REGALIA

SIR
GUILLAUME JEAN-ROCH DE SAINT-SULIAC D'GOSS
KNIGHT OF THE LION PELT
SWORN RETAINER TO THE HOUSE D'GOSSELIN

SEEKS FROM THE POPULACE A SINGULAR SQUIRE
-
SAID SQUIRE MUST BE:
OF AILOR STOCK
OF UNIONIST MIND
AND
BE ABLE BODIED

SAID SQUIRE MAY NOT BE:
LIMP-WRISTED
SLOTHFUL
COWARDLY
SQUEAMISH
AND CERTAINLY NOT
CALEMBERGER

SQUIRELY DUTIES SHALL INCLUDE:
FLAG RAISING
WINE CARRYING
BAGGAGE TOTING
COIN COUNTING
ARMOR SCRUBBING
AND CERTAINLY
EQUINE MAINTENANCE

PAY SHALL BE WHATEVER THE GOOD SIR DEEMS FIT
IN ADDITION TO
LESSONS IN THE PROPER HANDLING OF THE BARDICHE
LESSONS IN THE PROPER MANNERS AND ETIQUETTE OF THE GENTRY
AND MOST DEFINITELY
LESSONS IN THE PROPER MAINTENANCE OF FACIAL HAIR

IF YOU OR A LOVED ONE IS INTERESTED IN THIS OCCUPATION, SEND A (PRIVATE) MISSIVE TO THE GOOD SIR AT ONCE.

​

 

[Nathan]

[A young Guillaume and his last squire during the Ranger Crisis, colorized]
​

Click to shrink...

That's glorious. Best ref gif

 

[EndersGameboy]

Beni Windrider: "Oh my!!!" Almost faints in disgust.

 

[ZiggyStarDusted]

Look how wounded this man is, /without/ a squire.
SOMEONE SAVE HIM!!!​

 

[AtticCat]

Winifred wondered faintly if this man had got his last squire killed.

 

[SorryNari]

"What about fetching the breastplate stretcher?"