Preserved Sheet Vixen Village

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VixenVill

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  • Full Name: Vixenella Vill Village (Vixen - Vix)
  • Age: 80 (Looks 26)
  • Gender: Female (Genderfluid)
  • Race: Alatar - Teledden (Ezekiel)
  • Sexuality: Pansexual
Skills​
  • Total Points: 50 Points - 10 Hobby Points
  • Vocal Arts 8
  • Drawing Art 8
  • Sailing Art 10
  • Theatre Art 10 + 5
  • Sorcery 6
  • Linguistics 18
Body Shape​
  • 5
  • Toned Body Shape
  • Average Body Fat
Languages​
  • Common
  • New Altalar
  • Middle Altalar
  • Sihndar Dialect
  • Sulvaley Elven
  • Daendroque Language
  • Vladno Language
  • Velheim Language
  • Ancient Altalar
  • Old Ceardian
  • Ancient Seraph
Special Traits/Spells/Mutations​
  • Flux Shift 6
  • True Path
  • [*]Age Control 1
    [*]Arcane Sense 1
    [*]Arcane Mastery 1
    [*]Memory Sense 1
    [*]Exorcism 2
    [*]Servile Collar 1
    [*]Shrewd Insight 1
    [*]Altalar Master 1
    [*]Keen Mind 1
  • [*]Ezekiel Soul
    [*]Magical Pendulum
    [*]Selëya's Word
    [*]Arcane Nova
    [*]Shadow Familiar
    [*]Arcane Speech
    [*]Shadow Mouth
    [*]Ocular Assessment
    [*]Whispered Secrets
  • [*]Void Beast
    [*]Void Horns
    [*]Pagan Maw
Visual Information​
  • Eye Color: Brown (Ezekiel Blue Gems)
  • Hair Color: Brown
  • Hair Style: Fluffy Bob Cut
  • Skin Color: Tan
  • Clothing: Aristocrat
  • Height: 6 ft
The Core List
Choose your Character Alignment​
  • Chaotic Good to Chaotic Neutral
Choose your Character Personality Type​
  • Mediator
Choose your Character's Religion​
  • Nonreligious
Life Story (Required)
Birth and Childhood​
  • I was born within the Healing Era, where even now they still try to repair the broken fragments of our nation. I had a brother named Valentine, we were twins. I was named Vixenella, for my outstanding beauty even compared to the normal standard. My childhood was well, I was rich, given all the toys I could want, traded for lack of freedom I had. My parents were both Teledden. I still have fond memories of playing pretend with my brother, us taking turns of being a warrior fighting again one of Void
Post-Education​
  • My parents loved to tell me about our "wonderful" history. They told me about every era, all the sins we committed, and the power we had. I used to be fascinated with ruling the world, having more slaves than what we currently have. Of course, I treated our slaves with respect, in my eyes they were family. I was taught to hate technology, to only trust in magic and the loving eyes of Estel. I, however, loved to know about Moon-Well, though I wasn't ever given much. I was taught the practice of worshipping Aish'eia, but my mind wandered to the outside. My father taught me and my brother how to fight, my mother taught me how to sail.
Advanced Years​
  • I was stupid, I decided to do something that would force me to cut my hair in shame. I saw the treatment of slaves, I was bitter of our past, reciting old mantras about how one day we would take over again. I decided that our new beginning shouldn't have been given. I freed my family's slaves, they ran but they were killed. I was punished by my family and cast out, I ran away before they could do more to me.
Trip to Regalia​
  • The trip was long, I hid my ears and my hair under a bonnet I bought with some currency. I took a boat, as a plus 1 to one of the men for a few days. They were a shipment for Regalia, some sort of fish and meat. I still remember the smell. I offered to help work, and entertain the workers for my travel. Now I'm here. I'm scared they're looking for me.
Life In Regalia​
  • I met many new people, a man named Stray, a man who forgot his past named Akata, a painter named Elise, a strange Yanar named Annelle. But I met someone special, his name was Tomas. He invited me and Akata to live in his home, and I accepted. We ended up talking a lot, I learned about his past, I learned about his horrible past, I learned his secrets, yet I hungered to know more. I fell for him, and he fell for me. I fell for his secrets and kindness, I knew he wasn't the man he used to be, I knew he wasn't a monster and swore to show him that. He showed me his true form, and Ezekiel, and offered to turn me into one; I accepted. I let him turn me into what I am now, so I could travel the world with him, forever.
 
Last edited:
@VixenVill here is your review:
  • I'd like you to remove some of the spaces between lines, as it makes it difficult to read.
  • Also remove the instructions under Skill Information and Personality.
  • You are free to add 25 more core points wherever you please, or keep them unassigned.
  • Body Shape = 5 Dagger + 0.5 (5 Sailing + 5 Theatre) = 10
  • The Isldar Language is Sulvaley Altalar, not Isludar.
  • As all the abilities listed are Racial Abilities, you can omit this section.
    • If you do keep them, we only need to see the Ability Name (So Skin Purge 1, Age Control 1, etc.)
  • Under Personality, I would remove Option One: The Question List and have only Option Two: The Core List present. The Answers to the Questions are too minimal to offer any substance to the application, and it's easier to just do the Alignment, Personality Type, and Relgion to call it a day.
  • You can remove the Weaknesses, Personality (Expansion), Likes, and dislikes, or put them all in a spoiler. Up to you.
The next part is on the Life Story:
  • You cannot make a character that is royalty of any kind, including princesses.
  • Beyond that point, there isn't really any substance to the life story, other than the narrative trope of the runaway princess, which doesn't exist in Isldar Society.
  • I'd like you to write 5 bullet points, with 1-2 sentences each, to describe the life story in the following way:
    1. Birth and Childhood. Describe where they were born, in what society, and family structure.
    2. Teenage Years. Describe any education or skills training they received during this time.
    3. Post-education. Describe what they started to do after learning their skills, be that setting up their trade or otherwise.
    4. Advanced Years. Your character is 126 years old. They probably have experienced a bit more than most Alorians, so describe any additional developments after setting up their working life.
    5. Explain why they came to Regalia.
  • I'd also possibly consider aging down the character to their mid 30s or younger, since based on what limited information I can find on the app, they seem to fit more like a teenager than someone who has already lived a century. If you do age them down this much, you can ignore bullet point 4. in the life story.
I would suggest taking a look at https://wiki.massivecraft.com/Isldar#Society to get some more ideas on how to write up growing up as a typical Isldar, as that can help guide you in writing these sentences.

When you have made these edits, please tag me.
 
FireFan96 said:
@VixenVill here is your review:
  • I'd like you to remove some of the spaces between lines, as it makes it difficult to read.
  • Also remove the instructions under Skill Information and Personality.
  • You are free to add 25 more core points wherever you please, or keep them unassigned.
  • Body Shape = 5 Dagger + 0.5 (5 Sailing + 5 Theatre) = 10
  • The Isldar Language is Sulvaley Altalar, not Isludar.
  • As all the abilities listed are Racial Abilities, you can omit this section.
    • If you do keep them, we only need to see the Ability Name (So Skin Purge 1, Age Control 1, etc.)
  • Under Personality, I would remove Option One: The Question List and have only Option Two: The Core List present. The Answers to the Questions are too minimal to offer any substance to the application, and it's easier to just do the Alignment, Personality Type, and Relgion to call it a day.
  • You can remove the Weaknesses, Personality (Expansion), Likes, and dislikes, or put them all in a spoiler. Up to you.
The next part is on the Life Story:
  • You cannot make a character that is royalty of any kind, including princesses.
  • Beyond that point, there isn't really any substance to the life story, other than the narrative trope of the runaway princess, which doesn't exist in Isldar Society.
  • I'd like you to write 5 bullet points, with 1-2 sentences each, to describe the life story in the following way:
    1. Birth and Childhood. Describe where they were born, in what society, and family structure.
    2. Teenage Years. Describe any education or skills training they received during this time.
    3. Post-education. Describe what they started to do after learning their skills, be that setting up their trade or otherwise.
    4. Advanced Years. Your character is 126 years old. They probably have experienced a bit more than most Alorians, so describe any additional developments after setting up their working life.
    5. Explain why they came to Regalia.
  • I'd also possibly consider aging down the character to their mid 30s or younger, since based on what limited information I can find on the app, they seem to fit more like a teenager than someone who has already lived a century. If you do age them down this much, you can ignore bullet point 4. in the life story.
I would suggest taking a look at https://wiki.massivecraft.com/Isldar#Society to get some more ideas on how to write up growing up as a typical Isldar, as that can help guide you in writing these sentences.

When you have made these edits, please tag me.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

I have made my edits, (idk how to tag)
 
Second review:
  • There are 5 too many points invested into Proficiency now.
  • Physical Stat = 5 Dagger + 5 Fan + 0.5 (5 Sailing + 15 Theatre) = 20
  • With 12 Lingusitics, this is the maximum amount of languages:
    1. Common (Free)
    2. Modern Altalar (Parent 1)
    3. Middle Altalar (Parent 2)
    4. Language 1 (3 Lingusitics)
    5. Language 2 (3 Linguistics)
    6. Language 3 (3 Linguistics)
    7. Free Ancient Language if the 3 Lingusitic Choices are from the same category
  • There are currently 11 languages as compared to the 7 maximum. Ignoring Old Ceardian and Ancient Seraph, there are 2 more languages added than possible. Depending on if you wand the Ceardian or Ancient Altalar Pack, you will have to remove and/or replace some languages.
  • Apart from a few grammatical errors that an online checker can fix, here are a few things to address in the Life Story:
    • Remove the sentence about being born a noble. While it's technically correct since all Altalar have a noble lineage, I don't want this to be mistaken for Regalian Nobility.
    • I find it very unlikely for a single Teledden to have freed all their slaves in an Altalar area, even if they might've been a Calvannis worshipper.
    • I would remove the whole caught, prosecuted, and escaped the trial, as this doesn't make logical sense (If one is caught, they are detained, and Altalar "trials" are anything but.)
    • "I learned to sail and how to fight" seems like something to have addressed earlier in the life story, as it seems shoehorned in right as Vixen is fleeing her state for Regalia. It takes years to become a sailor and fighter, and I don't think there's enough time following the slave issue to justify these skills being learned at this point in time. It would need to be done either in advanced years, or during education.
Overall it's a notable improvement from the first draft, so kudos for the changes. Now it just needs a bit more polishing. See what you can do with the feedback provided. And to tag me for a third look, just @FireFan96
 
FireFan96 said:
Second review:
  • There are 5 too many points invested into Proficiency now.
  • Physical Stat = 5 Dagger + 5 Fan + 0.5 (5 Sailing + 15 Theatre) = 20
  • With 12 Lingusitics, this is the maximum amount of languages:
    1. Common (Free)
    2. Modern Altalar (Parent 1)
    3. Middle Altalar (Parent 2)
    4. Language 1 (3 Lingusitics)
    5. Language 2 (3 Linguistics)
    6. Language 3 (3 Linguistics)
    7. Free Ancient Language if the 3 Lingusitic Choices are from the same category
  • There are currently 11 languages as compared to the 7 maximum. Ignoring Old Ceardian and Ancient Seraph, there are 2 more languages added than possible. Depending on if you wand the Ceardian or Ancient Altalar Pack, you will have to remove and/or replace some languages.
  • Apart from a few grammatical errors that an online checker can fix, here are a few things to address in the Life Story:
    • Remove the sentence about being born a noble. While it's technically correct since all Altalar have a noble lineage, I don't want this to be mistaken for Regalian Nobility.
    • I find it very unlikely for a single Teledden to have freed all their slaves in an Altalar area, even if they might've been a Calvannis worshipper.
    • I would remove the whole caught, prosecuted, and escaped the trial, as this doesn't make logical sense (If one is caught, they are detained, and Altalar "trials" are anything but.)
    • "I learned to sail and how to fight" seems like something to have addressed earlier in the life story, as it seems shoehorned in right as Vixen is fleeing her state for Regalia. It takes years to become a sailor and fighter, and I don't think there's enough time following the slave issue to justify these skills being learned at this point in time. It would need to be done either in advanced years, or during education.
Overall it's a notable improvement from the first draft, so kudos for the changes. Now it just needs a bit more polishing. See what you can do with the feedback provided. And to tag me for a third look, just @FireFan96
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
How do you grt old Seriph then?
 
FireFan96 said:
Second review:
  • There are 5 too many points invested into Proficiency now.
  • Physical Stat = 5 Dagger + 5 Fan + 0.5 (5 Sailing + 15 Theatre) = 20
  • With 12 Lingusitics, this is the maximum amount of languages:
    1. Common (Free)
    2. Modern Altalar (Parent 1)
    3. Middle Altalar (Parent 2)
    4. Language 1 (3 Lingusitics)
    5. Language 2 (3 Linguistics)
    6. Language 3 (3 Linguistics)
    7. Free Ancient Language if the 3 Lingusitic Choices are from the same category
  • There are currently 11 languages as compared to the 7 maximum. Ignoring Old Ceardian and Ancient Seraph, there are 2 more languages added than possible. Depending on if you wand the Ceardian or Ancient Altalar Pack, you will have to remove and/or replace some languages.
  • Apart from a few grammatical errors that an online checker can fix, here are a few things to address in the Life Story:
    • Remove the sentence about being born a noble. While it's technically correct since all Altalar have a noble lineage, I don't want this to be mistaken for Regalian Nobility.
    • I find it very unlikely for a single Teledden to have freed all their slaves in an Altalar area, even if they might've been a Calvannis worshipper.
    • I would remove the whole caught, prosecuted, and escaped the trial, as this doesn't make logical sense (If one is caught, they are detained, and Altalar "trials" are anything but.)
    • "I learned to sail and how to fight" seems like something to have addressed earlier in the life story, as it seems shoehorned in right as Vixen is fleeing her state for Regalia. It takes years to become a sailor and fighter, and I don't think there's enough time following the slave issue to justify these skills being learned at this point in time. It would need to be done either in advanced years, or during education.
Overall it's a notable improvement from the first draft, so kudos for the changes. Now it just needs a bit more polishing. See what you can do with the feedback provided. And to tag me for a third look, just @FireFan96
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
I edited it, sorry I'm such a hassle twt, I have dyslexia and processing issues;-;
 
FireFan96 said:
Second review:
  • There are 5 too many points invested into Proficiency now.
  • Physical Stat = 5 Dagger + 5 Fan + 0.5 (5 Sailing + 15 Theatre) = 20
  • With 12 Lingusitics, this is the maximum amount of languages:
    1. Common (Free)
    2. Modern Altalar (Parent 1)
    3. Middle Altalar (Parent 2)
    4. Language 1 (3 Lingusitics)
    5. Language 2 (3 Linguistics)
    6. Language 3 (3 Linguistics)
    7. Free Ancient Language if the 3 Lingusitic Choices are from the same category
  • There are currently 11 languages as compared to the 7 maximum. Ignoring Old Ceardian and Ancient Seraph, there are 2 more languages added than possible. Depending on if you wand the Ceardian or Ancient Altalar Pack, you will have to remove and/or replace some languages.
  • Apart from a few grammatical errors that an online checker can fix, here are a few things to address in the Life Story:
    • Remove the sentence about being born a noble. While it's technically correct since all Altalar have a noble lineage, I don't want this to be mistaken for Regalian Nobility.
    • I find it very unlikely for a single Teledden to have freed all their slaves in an Altalar area, even if they might've been a Calvannis worshipper.
    • I would remove the whole caught, prosecuted, and escaped the trial, as this doesn't make logical sense (If one is caught, they are detained, and Altalar "trials" are anything but.)
    • "I learned to sail and how to fight" seems like something to have addressed earlier in the life story, as it seems shoehorned in right as Vixen is fleeing her state for Regalia. It takes years to become a sailor and fighter, and I don't think there's enough time following the slave issue to justify these skills being learned at this point in time. It would need to be done either in advanced years, or during education.
Overall it's a notable improvement from the first draft, so kudos for the changes. Now it just needs a bit more polishing. See what you can do with the feedback provided. And to tag me for a third look, just @FireFan96
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
@FireFan96 Edited it
 
@VixenVill this looks almost fine, except for a few minor edits:
  • Physical Stat = 5 Dagger + 2 Fan + 0.5 (15 Theatre + 5 Sailing) = 17
  • Remove Ancient Seraph and Old Ceardian. Old Ceardian can only be added (for free) if 3 Human Languages are learned. Ancient Sereph can only be added (for free) if 3 Human and 3 Elven Languages are learned. Right now there are only enough Elven languages for Ancient Altalar. You may be getting a small point refund due to this (since you didn't have to invest to get Ancient Altalar, Old Ceardian, or Ancient Seraph)
  • remove the single word "noble" from the first paragraph of the life story.
Other than these small changes, you're basically good to go. Just make the edits and tag me when compete. Also note that I do work a full time job, so it will take at most a day before I see this thread again.
 
FireFan96 said:
@VixenVill this looks almost fine, except for a few minor edits:
  • Physical Stat = 5 Dagger + 2 Fan + 0.5 (15 Theatre + 5 Sailing) = 17
  • Remove Ancient Seraph and Old Ceardian. Old Ceardian can only be added (for free) if 3 Human Languages are learned. Ancient Sereph can only be added (for free) if 3 Human and 3 Elven Languages are learned. Right now there are only enough Elven languages for Ancient Altalar. You may be getting a small point refund due to this (since you didn't have to invest to get Ancient Altalar, Old Ceardian, or Ancient Seraph)
  • remove the single word "noble" from the first paragraph of the life story.
Other than these small changes, you're basically good to go. Just make the edits and tag me when compete. Also note that I do work a full time job, so it will take at most a day before I see this thread again.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Added the languages required, sorry I thought they were all there TwT @FireFan96
 
Last edited:
FireFan96 said:
@VixenVill this looks almost fine, except for a few minor edits:
  • Physical Stat = 5 Dagger + 2 Fan + 0.5 (15 Theatre + 5 Sailing) = 17
  • Remove Ancient Seraph and Old Ceardian. Old Ceardian can only be added (for free) if 3 Human Languages are learned. Ancient Sereph can only be added (for free) if 3 Human and 3 Elven Languages are learned. Right now there are only enough Elven languages for Ancient Altalar. You may be getting a small point refund due to this (since you didn't have to invest to get Ancient Altalar, Old Ceardian, or Ancient Seraph)
  • remove the single word "noble" from the first paragraph of the life story.
Other than these small changes, you're basically good to go. Just make the edits and tag me when compete. Also note that I do work a full time job, so it will take at most a day before I see this thread again.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
@FireFan96
It needs rereviewed uwu
 
@VixenVill due to becoming an Ezekiel, you must remove one of the sorcery spells, as you can only have 2 extra sorcery abilities:
"when all is said and done, an Ezekiel should have their Racial Abilities + 9 Ezekiel Abilities, and any additional maximum 2 Sorcery Abilities (which cannot be from Shadow Sorcery) or 2 Alchemy Abilities that is chosen"

Make this change and tag me when complete. You can just type @FireFan96 in the future
 
FireFan96 said:
@VixenVill due to becoming an Ezekiel, you must remove one of the sorcery spells, as you can only have 2 extra sorcery abilities:
"when all is said and done, an Ezekiel should have their Racial Abilities + 9 Ezekiel Abilities, and any additional maximum 2 Sorcery Abilities (which cannot be from Shadow Sorcery) or 2 Alchemy Abilities that is chosen"

Make this change and tag me when complete. You can just type @FireFan96 in the future
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

I apologize if this is a stupid question,
But since I have a 9 sorcery, which gave me the 3 spells I have there currently
Do I add on or only allowed in general to have 2?

@FireFan96
 
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