Basic Information Full Name: Amelie Grünka Drache Age: Sixteen Gender: Female Race: Alt-Regalian Ailor Main Ambition: Popularity Visual Information Eye Color: Deep Ocean Blue Hair Color: Raven Black Hair Style: Bunned Skin Color: Fair, Alt-Regalian White Clothing: A green dress with white designs Height: 5 foot Six inches Body Build: Sinewy Weapon of Choice: House Guards Skill Information Total Proficiency: 14 +5 Diplomacy (points) +4 Commerce (points) +4 Judicial (points) +1 Improvised Weapons (points) Life Story Sent to Academy for Aristocratic Learning in Regalia, where they are currently studying. Total Culture Points: 14 +8 brewing (points) +6 painting (points) Personality and Abilities First Paragraph: Amelie is perceived as a very carefree individual. Running around getting her nose into places it shouldn’t and generally just being a pest to others. Amelie is often look down upon by others around her for acting as such since the Draches are associated with everything but that. But, she is very defensive over herself. When people insult her, she is very defensive. Besides her rather outgoing persona, Amelie is also perceived as a somewhat kind individual. She always is seen helping out other individuals and is obviously doing it somewhat for attention, but that is often overlooked. Basically, she is looked at a young woman trying to find her place on Aloria. Second Paragraph: Amelie has little to no self doubts. She almost fully confident in herself as much as she is perceived to be. For example, if she saw someone criticize something she did, Amelie wouldn’t even think about it and would rather go after the person for attacking her. But, she has realized that she shouldn’t care what other people think and should kill them with kindness instead of trying to make the situation worse She doesn’t always necessary trusts others and tends to try to take control of all situations in her own hands. Amelie trusts in herself and doesn’t necessary always trust in others. Third Paragraph: Amelie treats family with lots respect, she loves her family too much and would do anything for them. She loves to be around family almost all of her time. For example, her grandfather, mother, and brother are some of the people she wants to spend all of her hours with. While they look down at her for some things she does (her brother less than the others) she loves to be with them. Like her close family, she treats her friends almost the same. That being she loves to personally be around them whenever possible. She trusts them all but besides that, nothing much changes. Fourth Paragraph: Amelie isn’t inherently evil, and tries to do good in her own moral code. She always listens to the standards of her culture or family and sometimes doesn’t listen to them from the idea. She doesn’t accept herself as a tool of her family, but rather person herself. Her brother furthers this idea with him saying everyone is unique and not mediplomacrely an object to be spent. Amelie doesn’t believe in corruption at all and wants to fix others “evil deeds” as she fits. Their evil deeds of course, being whatever she personally sees them to be. Fifth Paragraph: Amelie is a Unionist. Pressed into it mostly from her family, she believes herself to be and tries hardest to show her faith in the Spirit.. She is rather young and doesn’t fully understand it, but still tries to be one. Alt Regalian Culture revolves around nobility as the representatives of the Emperor and therefore rule by Divine Right. Their position as social superiors is not to be questioned, as it is the Emperor's Will. She feels like she should be treated higher than most people but also see it as the will of the Spirit to be blue blooded and a representative of a model citizen of the Empire.Her family worked for where she should be, so she believes she should have what she has. Life Story Born on 291 AC to Johann and Karoline Drache, Amelie didn’t much know her of father and when she was two years old, her father was murdered by a Slizzar in an assassination attempt on Reinhard Drache. Died defending his father (Erlabald) and uncle.When she was three, he brother left to Viridian Order. and would never see him in person until many years later. She was a rather aimless child, being overprotected by a mother who lost a husband a Slizzar and her firstborn to the Viridans for a decade. Early on the mother personally oversaw Amelie’s early life and with the minor approval of the Drache Patriarch, acquired funds to pursue an art hobby she is quite fond of it. During the Freyo Lo Occupation, Amelie went on a weekend visit to family, and the Lo Occupation prevented her from returning to the Academy. She would have either stayed in Büchner, where Eldrich was ruling as Burgrave for the time, or in Drachenburg, where the rest of the family was at. She chose to return to Drachenburg where she rested until she was allowed to return to the Academy. After, Amelie was sent back to the Academy for Aristocratic Learning to carry on the family name in the form of politics. Amelie also started to develop class and etiquette and a relationship with the other nobles in Regalia. Amelie also has had tragedies from her time, so far, in Regalia. It all started when an Athen attacked, most thought it would be the last, but they were wrong. The Athen lead to the park burning, which was devastating for Amelie because she loved the park so much. After the park finally returned to peace, another Athen came. A ghost bride to be exact. She tortured the commoners and nobles who were on the bridge that day. Making them remember all the happy time in life, but also the tragic and horrific times. As of today, Amelie has been living a happy life in Regalia with her wonderful family. She has made many friends and share interests and a bond with most of them. She tries to avoid getting herself into trouble as much as she can, but her curiosity gets the best of her.
double post in the proficiency section. delete since it's just template garbage While my next point doesn't need to be followed, I would suggest indenting the proficiency sub sections section to read like this: Total Points +x +x Total Cultural +x +X Total Languages English americanese finally, I would suggest bolding all headings to make it easier to read
Totaling this up, you have 15 points. Remove one point from somewhere, please. Go ahead and delete this portion, as asked by Firefan. I'll go ahead and be a grammar nazi here. These sentences are short and choppy. Connect the first three, please, to clarify who is happening and what. This is just a peer review. You don't have to do anything I've asked you to do.
Peer Review, Put this up on the top of the application as this image is massive and will be better to be put on the top of the application. OR, put this into a spoiler. Your weapon of choice is rather vague, what happens if she has to defend herself? I'd state an actual weapon that she feels more comfortable with, although keeping "house guards" is completely fine but you should state what weapon she prefers the most instead of using people. Remove this from the skill section. Add another paragraph for the Life Story, more specifically of what's happening in her life as of right now. and You appear to be contradicting yourself with her being carefree even though she would go after the person attacking her. You also have a google doc converting error, try and fix this by pressing delete at the end of each question for an example. Hi There Beep. Try to make it look like this. Hi There Beep.
REVIEW Remove the +5 for General Command. This is a NEW-REGALIAN proficiency boost, not Alt-Regalian. From my understanding of the Drache family, Amelie is only a generation below Dietrich who is 52. As such, I'm going to ask you to bump her age up to at least 20. Make these two edits as well as those suggested by FireFan96 and in RED and tag me when you're done.
Amelie is far enough removed from Dietrich that his age and hers have very little correlation. It's definitely feasible for her to be that young comparatively. Though I would be able to compromise to 16.
