"Glory to the Golden Lesson. Glory to Regalia." Spoiler: Other Music! https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/863491806696046613/928105631741779998/Everwatcher_Ring.gif MADE BY PAPIDAPUMPKIN!!! /\Character Information Full Name: Timéo Grande-Looxois Chasseurcoeur Borros Loup de Mosnay Race / Culture: Ithanian Ailor Age: 28 Gender / Pronouns: Male (He/Him) Occult: God Magic Core Concept Timéo is a Knight of the Viridian Order, Lancyon Chapter. He's someone who's devotion carries him through the toughest times he's gone through. Carried by a knowledge that a greater power has something in store for him, he marches forwards. His mastery over the bardiche axe runs contrary to most of his chapter who prefers the halberd. Appearance Information Stands at about 5'10" Heavily scarred and muscular frame. Sky blue eyes. A mop of curly dirty blonde hair. No mutations or abnormalities. Proficiencies COMBAT STYLE: Holy Warrior 6 Strength: Technique Parry Concussive Blow Break Down Steady Body Gut Punch Oceanic Pack Weapon Throw Careful Fighter 3 Magic: Magic Counter Magic Bolster Magic Revenge Magic Summon (Free Ailor Pack) 5 Faith: Divine Antimagi Divine Aura Divine Burn Divine Smite Sacred Gear Languages Common (10/10) Fluent. Ithanian (10/10) Native. Life Story / Plot Hooks Tim has moments of almost psychotic fanaticism, while normally he airs on the side of progressive policies and wouldn't call himself a purist, he'd fit right alongside with them when the chips are down. Tim has a tendency to ignore himself for the sake of a cause, noble or otherwise, and will happily throw himself onto spikes for other people to walk across. Whether that negatively impacts him or the people around him isn't his concern in his mind. Tim's family is something he holds to a higher degree than himself, and has and will fight fanatically to keep whatever semblance of a family and cohesive unit together, even if it means blatant violence.
Hey there! Claiming this app for review. Let's get started! You can feel free to remove tidbits like this from the application. They are not needed. You should declare how many proficiency points your character has access to. This doesn't need to be here. Please remove it. Please list this as 10 Strength Training, over just 5. Please remove all things like this. They will help declutter the app and make it easier to read. Your character's eyes cannot be black without the use of mutations. Please pick a natural eye colour. Please keep these answers to a minimum of two sentences each. Make these edits and tag me when complete!
Please remove all bits like this from the app to avoid clutter. You can keep the Physical Stat caculation here, it just didn't need to be above the proficiency list. Make these edits and we should be good to go!
@Mollymock I'm sorry to bother you, again, but the edits were made so that Tim could be a part of the Lion Pelts Just a bunch of back story gibberish and adding one point to the overall prof point.
@Dodink Knights of the Lion Pelt cannot use Magic in any capacity. As such, your character cannot be one. Please revert this change.
@Mollymock Got around to the edits. I really want Tim to become a Lion Pelt so I ended up just removing the magic.
Approved. However, for the foreseeable future, the character cannot change quite so dramatically. They must remain a mundane Lion Pelt, unless IC circumstances say otherwise.
@Mollymock Changed up the backstory so my friend Mini could play Tim's sister (the link to her app is at the bottom if you wanna look at it too)
@Dodink Regarding this application's pull out of Approved: There were backstory changes that hadn't been mentioned or noticed, which raise the backstory's word count over the allowed 900. Shorten the backstory. A lot of the backstory is almost entirely inappropriate in the level of detail it goes into. Tim's poor childhood, as well as the sheer amount of graphic violence involved feels like needless amounts of character torture to the point where it's almost absurd. It's fine to have these things implied in some ways, but to go into this level of detail is unreasonable. Please rectify this, and make the backstory something able to be read without forewarning. As a rule of thumb, a backstory should never be so graphic that it even requires a forewarning.
@fantuinn i added clockwork stuff, woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! (will do rp teaching so that the sudden clockwork isn't jarring, i just wanna have those abilities down for when ic circumstance calls for it)
@Dodink Lion Pelts would not allow the usage of most overtly magical-appearing Clockwork. You can keep Flux Shift and Light Mend, but the rest are all too strange for the Lion Pelt order to accept- and even then the Light Mends are arguable and probably still grounds for removal later down the line. This seems unrealistic for a six year old to do, abused or otherwise. The curse would've probably killed Yamaka if she went through the whole process. Maybe set the actual killing a few years in the future, or have Yamaka die to the Vampires instead of Tim.
@fantuinn reduced the amount of clockwork used, and added a clarification in the backstory that yamaka was already about to kick to the bucket tim was just the one to kick it over
@Dodink I think killing his sister under a trance is a little unrealistic still. It's easier to have him assume outright he was in danger and retaliate, rather than killing someone who appeared to be near death through a murder-trance. You can remove mention of Exist/Void in Sorcery, since Clockwork Technik isn't dimensionally-related, it's just a clockwork power.
