Spoiler: Text-based Character Sheet Character Information: ~ Name: Theo Kee'lyth ~ Birthname: Theo'den Averdan ~ Race: Fin'ullen ~ Age: 20 ~ Gender: Male ~ Occult: Exist Magic ╔═*.·:·.✧.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.✧.·:·.*═╗ ╚═*.·:·.✧.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.✧.·:·.*═╝Core Concept: ~ Theo was born an Isldar, and was one when he came to Regalia. Through the years, he has seen many changes, most visibly the changing of his race when he couldn't choose between the life or death cults. Now he is a free-spirited alchemist who is done worrying about his past and persuing the things that he wants to. Appearance Information: ~ Theo is a Fin'ullen, about 20 years old, with white hair and a single dark streak that runs down, a stylistic merging of his Isldar heritage and his Fin'ullen existence. His most prominent feature, however, is his large, white, bird-like wings, which he is quite fond of. Hobbies: Alchemy Hobby, Medical Hobby Combat Style: Rogue / Scout Proficiency Information: ~ Strength - 2 - Melee Point Buy Battle Flurry, Diving Tackle - Athletic Point Buy Building Scale [ Free ] ~ Constitution - 1 - Training Point Buy Rage Counter ~ Intelligence - 0 - Adapt Point Buy Oceanic Pack [ Free ] ~ Wisdom - 4 - Chem Point Buy Chem Slip, Chem Revive ~ Dexterity - 5 - Ranger Point Buy Ranger Tag, Ranger Blur, Ranger Cover - Roguery Point Buy Fleet Footed, Sharp Reflexes ~ Faith - 0 ~ Magic - 2 - Magic Point Buy Magic Feather, Magic Warp Languages: ~ Common (Free) ~ Sulvaley (Parent) ~ Saan (Learned) Character Background: - [ To be Rewritten ]
Extra InfoINVENTORY: Spoiler: Satchel -- Dagger x2 -- Qikira (Alchemical Gun) -- Alchemical Ammo x25 -- Journal -- Alchemical Vial of Healing -- Alchemical Vial of Numbing -- OB2 (Sleeping Medicine) -- Unstable Alchemy -- Regals -- Bird-Like Mask
Oh @fantuinn Dedjok’s my reviewer. Theo already had a sheet, I just decided to make a new one. Sorry for the confusion.
Yeah, you set it to Needs Reviewer so I decided to pick it up. DedJok is cool with it. This specific backstory point seems a little unrealistic. Theo would presumably be 16 or under by this point. Most parents and villages would probably expect a little bit of rebellion/distance in faith, especially in what, to them, would be a child. It might be more realistic to say Theo's personal distaste for Dragon Worship and its dogma led him to leave, rather than any aggressive hazing.
Hey! This is a bit of a crucial part to Theo's story so I'm gonna try to salvage it as much as possible. That line was a big summing-up of what happened, though I can change it to explain it fully better. I hope this was more a thing that I was unclear about and not something I need to change or take out. @fantuinn
Hey @fantuinn I don’t mean to double ping but I do wanna get this review finished up cause this was just meant to be a minor update.
I think all of this would make sense from the perspective of Theo being an adult, but these are all events that had occurred to him as a young teen/late teen, where the easier and more likely response is just being infantilized as "you'll get better when you're older". Would the natural response, even in a zealot's place, not be to fix the rebellious child instead of push them further away with harassment and death threats? If you want to maintain the idea of Theo being an outcast, it is probably easier to make it so that Theo's opinions on dragon worship weren't just a passive aspect, but an active spreading of discontent which he had given to adults in his Hold, that led to the decision of his removal/eventual attempted killing. As it's written right now, he was a rebellious child, not a threat that needs stabbed out.
