Dear Vis-Vegcht,
I appreciate a good story, I do, but maybe stick to fiction rather than newspapers. I do not remember any of what you have claimed occurred in the Willow. I remember taking Charles' boots to annoy him and I remember him pushing me with his pre-pubescent hands. There was no knife. No brawl. None of this drama you report.
I'll see you in court for libel.
I'll pop in for tea soon to see if this can be avoided. Wouldn't want for you to have to change your name /again/.
Gerold