The Diviner's Corner | Issue #1

[Ocularum]

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ASK THE DIVINER
by Myriddin the Diviner

"DEAR MYRIDDEN, I think I'm in love with a man—awful decision, I know—but I don't know if we can be together. I want to work on it but there might be too much in the way. What should I do?"

- Matters of the Heart​

MYRIDDEN SAYS: Above anything else, be patient. Time will reveal its intentions. If it is meant to be then your paths will align perfectly. And if they do not align fret not—pagan wine rituals are always a viable option to the unrequited, despairing lover. One drop and your man will never trespass your heart or your feelings again.

"DEAR MYRIDDEN, helloing! How the water in city? Clean, good? Waters to avoid, waters that are best? Please tell this one."

- Friendly Friends​

MYRIDDEN SAYS: When the sun is high and hot avoid all downstream recesses. When the weather is frigid avoid revealing your innermost thoughts to the enemy. When you hear water where you cannot see it—run quickly. And when you see water but cannot hear it, know that you have reached a decision of great importance.

"DEAR MYRIDDEN, it has been a long time since I've found myself needing advice. It turns out I needed a little push—I have found the love of my life, in the strangest of places. He's one of the brightest things in my life; says I'm wonderful, even in the face of my slow decay. My new issue? ... I have been having problems with my wellbeing. My mental state deteriorates, and so does my body. Walls—People, Monsters, just plain drama, and enough pressure to make a man combust. It weighs heavy. I'm trying to put some of my effort into things that will help others; maybe the Alms house, Maybe in my contribution to literature. How would someone seek to stop this slow and steady decline?

- Hopeless Romantic, Turned Just Plain Hopeless​

MYRIDDEN SAYS: Keep a small piece of mercury under your pillow for physical longevity in life. Master simple breathing techniques to master your own body, and next, fortify your mind by simply not giving a fuck about anything any longer. The simple choice to no longer give a fuck has without a doubt extended my lifetime tenfold, and I know it can work wonders for you as well. Hope-ridden, pen me again for more shards of unholy ethical advice, and how to more feverently incorporate less fuck-giving into your life.

"DEAR MYRIDDEN, the Violet Order wants to execute me. What's the best way to avoid execution during these hard times, and what tips would you give to people who are facing similar legal dramas?"

- How to Avoid Execution​

MYRIDDEN SAYS: I fear my advice may not come as quickly as you would hope but I offer it to you all the same. A recipe for a position of concealment: two generous plumes of dragonflower, six copper coins, one crow's feather, a talisman, seven assorted rat bones, and ample amounts of blood magic concentrated into a glass vial. Bundle in an ornate satchel and keep handy. Caution: Can cause extreme confusion or an extreme concussion or both.

"DEAR MYRIDDEN, recently I've been having a battle of the soul. I staunchly follow a not-so-aristocratically friendly set of beliefs, but I've been getting further and further involved in the dealings of the peerage. Despite my values, I find it rather enjoyable. What do I do? Stay true to myself, or cave?"

- A Confused Commoner​

MYRIDDEN SAYS: Be extremely wary as you tread forward my friend. Ahead of you I can see a pit of snakes poised for the strike, behind you a habit grown rampant and controlling. Choosing the wrong path may result in months of setbacks to restore personal resolve-- but not at all times is the right path the right path.

"DEAR MYRIDDEN, recently someone I respected was killed for crimes against Regalia. I feel that it was very unneeded, and I'm feeling a lot of anger. How do I move on?"

- Loss and Anger
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MYRIDDEN SAYS: Imagine you are being held under a strict supervision and you were unable to leave your house. Now imagine that even while in your home there would be hands and eyes to inspect your every word, your every brushstroke. And now, imagine that you had a sole animal companion in your mandated house-stay, and let's say, hypothetically, this companion meant everything in the world to you, and then it was removed from your environment by your watchers in our imagining.

Wouldn't you miss the animal? Wouldn't you do anything to get it back? Anger should forge your beliefs, be the fire to shape you into a conduit through which to convey your steadfast beliefs. You understand me? There is no imagining, there is no hypothetical. You are being held captive. It is time for you to rise up.

"DEAR MYRIDDEN, I feel like my soon to be husband isn't spending a lot of time with me, at least not as much as he used to. What could be the problem?"

- Troubled Fiancée​

MYRIDDEN SAYS: If the love is true he will prioritize you above all other matters. No war is too near, no fire too urgent. He may be far from you but his love will not wane. Unless he is covertly meeting with another lover, in which case you have full divination-granted right to avenge yourself in whatever manner suits you best. If you are positive such is not the case, try wearing a peacock feather in your hair. If he does not take notice after three days he longs for another.

"DEAR MYRIDDEN, being a good person. How? How do you do it?"

- Curious and Desperate​

MYRIDDEN SAYS: What is good? And what is evil? Two sides of the same coin. You hold that coin. Cease waiting for someone to approach you and turn the coin in your palm. Are you not the master of your own fingers? Succumb, writhe, and embrace the fluidity that is the sway between perceived goodness (a curved tool of society) and darkness (freedom from the opinions of a corrupt hierarchy who set rules for the malleable).

APRIL HOROSCOPES
by Myriddin the Diviner

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