It was the empty, smoking bed that lay smoking before them.
"Mau," it cried, "mraow!"
Craning about their skull, Xilthruum spotted the source of the sound. As a matter of fact, the sound wasn't distant, it merely belonged to a minuscule creature. A kitten, bald and flaky with a squashed face and bright brown eyes stared up to the professor. Unable to discern concern from moderate shock, the creature stared at Xilthruum with its gaze that permanently looked incredulously on its target.
"Yes, yes, out of the way," Xilthruum said, nudging the sickly kitten aside before plopping the documents down where it once was. The Lich tried their best to ignore the wretched thing, pulling open the door to a messy, disorganized room that would soon be fit into a fine study. It wasn't big, but it was a start. Before they could stop it, the kitten pranced right through the door.
"No, wait, shoo! Out, you miscreant!" In a panic, the professor scooped up their papers and threw it to the nearest bench before beginning to chase the kitten around the room. It wasn't long before they became winded and the kitten out of reach. With a dissatisfied huff, the Lich straightened out and puffed out their chest.
"You cannot stay there forever," they threatened, "then you will be sorry that you tried to dance circles around the most powerful entity you have unknowingly met!"
"Desprince, I heard you shouting! Are- you... okay?" Her words became more uncertain as she looked up to the top shelf, her brows furrowing as the scene unfolded before her.
"Mau!"
"Oh, shut up. Rue, Rue, lookatit! Look at that infernal thing. He is taunting me!"
"Him?" Rue narrowed her eyes at the growing cat, scratching at her scalp in disbelief as the knife went back to its sheath.
"Yes, it is he! He knows what he is doing. He is too fast for me to smite, and my bone too thick for him to scratch. He has been here for weeks and I cannot get him out."
"Want me to help?"
"No, no, I must best him on my own. We have a temporary--"
"Mah."
"... Shut up! Wehaveanarmistice! I must plan on how to deal with this rat before the fighting begins anew."
Rue and Xilthruum folded their arms over their chests while the cat rolled on his back, exposing his filling belly to the duo. A long silence filled the room before Xilthruum took this as the sign of a draw, returning to their desk with a fiery eye magnetized to the vermin.
"I think he's quite cute, Desprince," Rue idly commented as she clicked her tongue to gain the cat's attention. He seemed disinterested, opting instead to thwack a candle off from the top shelf. Landing on the floor with a clatter, the professor shot out both of their arms as if that would emphasize their conundrum.
"You should kee--"
"I will hang myself and wait until the noose is Pure of Heart before I adopt that thing."
"Mauo."
"Quiet, you."
Unable to stifle a giggle, Rue went to the kitchen to fetch a wooden plate and a ration of fresh water. The Lich, knowing they were preaching to the converted, finally stopped verbally resisting as she placed the water saucer on the highest shelf she could reach.
"Maybe you'll learn to like him," she said, but was given only a grunt in response, "and just you wait and see. He'll be your whole life before you know it."
It had been weeks since the last fight between the two. With the cat now older and wiser, he test his luck consistently by wandering the floor rather than the high peaks. Closer and closer, he conditioned the Lich to get used to him, and to great success. This continued until one fateful day, easily mistaken for an ordinary one, Xilthruum sat alone in his study.
By aid of candle-light, the professor was translating the language of monsters into one they could understand. The hour was late and they had lost the drive to do anything other than their work. The cat, on the other hand, took advantage of his nocturnal state by hopping up on the desk.
"Shoo," Xilthruum tiredly grumbled, dipping their quill into the almost empty inkwell.
"Mau," he responded, wandering over to the scroll. Deciding he was more important than hours of exhaustive work, he plopped his short-haired black rump right on the fresh script. Xilthruum was helpless to stop him, huffing out a sigh as his work was prematurely put on pause and paws.
"Nobody likes you," hissed the skeleton.
"Mnah."
"Just because you are right does not mean I like it," Xilthruum sighed, leaning back in their seat as they finally accepted defeat. To occupy their time, they reached out and began to stroke the fur of the victorious cat. Accepting his spoils, a low purr hummed from the champion's body.
"I suppose it was inevitable. Cats seem to adopt people rather than the inverse. Have you a name yet, miscreant?"
The cat only purred in response. Rue's words echoed through Xilthruum's skull, realizing that she was right to some degree. Every day since they'd met the cat, they had to deal with him at least once. It'd become a daily routine, and now that they weren't fighting, life itself seemed to have taken a different direction.
"Then I shall give you one. Rue's prediction was correct, you truly have become my whole life, even if only dealing with your stupidity. I am a fan of word-play, so...
You shall be named Phylactery."
They just wanted to know if they lost their precious Phylactery in the blaze.
Last edited:
