The Battle Within
Johanna shuffled down the cobblestones from the garden located on the north-east side of the tavern, her gaze traveling from tree to branches to leaves, down to the cobbles she and many others set their feet upon. The woman's eyes closed briefly as she walked, contemplating the Arken attack she'd just witnessed, those she was friends with and worked beside nearly drowning in the very fountain some went to for peace. Her bright blue eyes, dulled by the sadness of her was-to-be husband leaving her, fell on the very man that fit the description, one of the main reasons that caused exhaustion to radiate from her very touch.
Johanna shuffled down the cobblestones from the garden located on the north-east side of the tavern, her gaze traveling from tree to branches to leaves, down to the cobbles she and many others set their feet upon. The woman's eyes closed briefly as she walked, contemplating the Arken attack she'd just witnessed, those she was friends with and worked beside nearly drowning in the very fountain some went to for peace. Her bright blue eyes, dulled by the sadness of her was-to-be husband leaving her, fell on the very man that fit the description, one of the main reasons that caused exhaustion to radiate from her very touch.
Shane Marth had his right foot perched on the bottom step leading into the tavern, speaking to Merina Taliesin, gesturing with his hand subtly as he spoke before offering a shrug to the fellow Claith and stalking inside after the red-head for a drink and chat. Johanna watched them move off, her brows furrowing in dismay. Her feet rose and fell as she also departed from the tavern stairs, not wasting a moment to pause and process what she'd seen.
She felt the spring breeze brush against her skin and wave her hair like a flag in the midst of a war. Only the war was the feelings of ire and despondency battling each other for the victory inside of her mind. The anger and sadness she felt were relentless, destroying everything in their path, their horses guided by questions tearing through the splashing muds of anguish.
Caoess'alloa of Vexation fought Johanna of Dejection, riding on horseback while spitting blame towards each other, only to hit each other with weapons made by the same blacksmith, cracking frail armors and ultimately falling onto the paling soils. The warriors cracked themselves like mirrors, their beauty and grace crumbling into nothingness, slowly seeping into and tainting the grounds. The pair of disgruntled personalities fought for the crown and fought for the right to sit upon the throne of soon-to-be-simplicity.
-=+=-
Johanna rose her gaze from the ground, running her hands through her red hair before allowing her trembling finger tips to rest on her queasy stomach. She offered a shake of her head to rattle the warriors in her mind, splashing the warriors around the battlefield, knocking them into walls and spraying them with the rains of disgust. The Avanthar slowly shifted into the Apothecary, her eyes snapping from plant, to floor, to Alchimia member, to her hands. She offered very little verbal exchange to those present before collecting her snack from behind the mahogany counter.
She cursed under her warm and fragile breath, differing from the cooling night's air as she strolled home. The vapor from her breath danced in the wind for a moment before a gust of wind swooped it away like a man would a woman during a dance. Johanna's head tilted back and her eyes met the numerous stars she saw in the night sky. She appreciated each and every one, though couldn't help but imagine herself above the atmosphere paired with another, only to collide and merge into one, never to be alone again.
When she reached home, she fumbled for her keys, sniffling from the chilly night's air that attacked her warmth, nipping at her gently reddened nose. She shifted inside and threw the paper bag on the door-side table. She knelt down and untied her boots and dragged her feet up the stairs into her room where she promptly undressed and stared at herself in the mirror.
She glared at herself in the raw nature of being nude, allowing her mind the peaceful silence that was her home. She occasionally brought her hands up to run along her belly while her brows furrowed in thought. She allowed her hands to float back to her sides only to raise them again, this time to her hips, finally trailing up to her tearfilled eyes to begin wiping viciously.
The Avanthar begun to slip, jerking forward and swiping her hands towards the mirror in order to have it to crash to the floor. She shouted at it, almost as if it were the cause of all of her issues. She shouted obscenities and questions as she jumped back to avoid the shattering glass, gasping and finally falling to her knees to rest her face in her hands. Only one question was left lingering in the wailing woman's mind:
"Why wasn't I good enough for you?"
