Preserved Sheet Sylvia Arshrenovka Astri

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PosidonX7

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Basic Information (Required)


  • Full Name: Sylvia Arshrenovka (Ren) Astri
  • Age: 36
  • Gender: Female
  • Race: Northerne Balltarc Ailor
  • Main Ambition: She wants to prove herself worth something, and lead her comrades to wealth.
  • Special Permission: Expert in Blackmark
Basic Information (Expansion)


  • Sylvia has been in Regalia since just before the attack from the bone horrors. She currently lives in the sewers.
  • Sylvia was born in Jedmark, Kingdom of Hedryll, and her parents were Markov Astri, and Atalianovka (Atali) Astri. She has two sisters and three brothers, all of which are still living in Hedryll.
  • Sylvia was a born fighter, so she will always look forward to a good fight.
Skill Information (Optional).


  • School: School of Blackmark
  • Level: Expert
  • Source: Jedmark military supplied and paid for a private group of mercenary tutors.
  • Eye Color: Sky Blue
  • Hair Color: Platinum Blonde
  • Hair Style: Long and Free-flowing
  • Skin Color: Pale/White
  • Clothing: Leather jacket/pants with thin chainmail underneath; occasionally wears white ushanka
  • Height: 6ft. 1in.
  • Body Build: Strongman
  • Weapon of Choice: Regis Hander
Visual Information (Expansion)



Personality and Abilities (Required)

  • First Paragraph: Sylvia is rather blunt and straightforward. She will do what she wants when she wants which makes her also come off as extremely stubborn. Sylvia is very well beyond the bounds of being a risk-taker, for she believes in acting first and asking questions later. In a situation where she has either the chance to try and talk things out, or solve things with aggressive negotiations (a sword), she would rather use aggressive negotiations.

  • Second Paragraph: When it comes to how Sylvia feels on the inside, it really depends on her situation. In a situation that might cause her pressure, she will act extremely confident and will give direct orders to people which makes her commanding. This comes from her training in the Hedrylli Military. In a situation where she is not pressured too much, she will act rather soft and understanding. If someone approaches her calmly, then she will be more than willing to negotiate or talk about whatever they wish to discuss. This is also from the Hedrylli military when they had to create strategic battle scenarios. The only thing she truly fears is loneliness because she hates being idle with nothing to do. Overall, she is very confident in herself when it comes to dealing with high-pressure situations.

  • Third Paragraph: Sylvia has three areas where she classifies people: normals, trusted, and family. Normals are the average joe's that walk around on the street that she doesn't know much about, and doesn't trust. She is willing to bend their minds however she sees fit which makes her manipulative. Trusted people are like her friends or allies that is she willing to protect and guard if she doesn't fall to the assurance of certain death. Family are those people that she will die for, and those that she is willing to tell almost anything. When she is comfortable around those she trusts, she tends to act rather goofy and playful. This side of her is her less occuring, free spirited side when it comes to her dual personality disorder. If any of her family members are hurting in any way, she will do her best to find out how she can make them feel better, which can make her seem caring.

  • Fourth Paragraph: Sylvia works on her own logically based system. This side of her tends to be her more directive side when it comes to her dual personality. If she doesn't see a way she will profit from something, she will simply not do it. Her being a Blackmark leaves her in a position to not really have a moral code, as such she does what she feels is best during that moment which makes her rather spontaneous. She believes that she must do her best to have power over others so that she can lead them to situations where they will only have a gain. She does not see corruption, vampires, undead, or possessed as bad unless they are a threat to her, or if what they do is not backed up by a logical reason for them to do what they are doing for survival.
Talents

· Expert in the School of Blackmark- Sylvia has trained since she was 15 by mercenaries who were of Blackmark. The fact that knows how to use the Regis Hander, and knows how to box, fits in perfectly with her rough and dynamic personality, making her a very formidable opponent. She is constantly running around and exercising herself to make her body more resilient and to increase her stamina. She can easily lift her own weight, and is easily able to use the momentum of her own body to move heavy amounts of weight which especially comes in handy when using the greatsword.

· Psychology- With her lust for control, and with the help of the Jedmark military, she has had access to all sorts of knowledge and experience when it comes to learning how a soldier's and a person's mind works. She has learned about combat and guerilla warfare tactics, yet mainly focused on the psychological aspect of them. This has allowed her to figure out how people work, and thus is able to easily manipulate them as she sees fit.

· Authoritating- She can be powerfully composed to even the most stubborn eyes. Her being trained to keep her composure has contributed to her seeming almost "scary" as other have described her when it comes to her giving orders. She will support herself like a well-rounded and proper woman when being idle. This enables her to be rather convincing and can easily get people's when it is needed. She is extremely strong-willed which helps support her commanding stature.


Life Story (Required)



Sylvia was born in Jedmark, Hedryll on July 14th, 268 AC. She is related to one of the military officers of Hedryll. Ever since she has been able to understand the Northerne tongue, she has always been taught to be proud, not because of who she descends from, but because who she is as a person. Life as a child in Hedryll is harsh and cold, and this made her seem a little more masculine when it came to manners or feelings from the abuse of the Northerne life.


As a young child, she was taught simple things, like how to mend clothing and how to sew up wounds. She was also taught how to cook not only for others, but for herself. It wasn't before long that she was required by her father and her elders to begin training in a fighting style. She was provided with a group of mercenaries that were of the School of Blackmark by the Jedmark military after she enlisted. She started training at the age of 15, and just did chores for the mercenaries over the next few years. At the age of 16, she started to build herself to become stronger for the intense training that was to come. During this time, the mercenaries spent many days and nights testing her patience with mentally challenging tasks such as having her arrange a room in a certain way, then change it right after, because they said they didn't like how it looked.


During her mid-teen years, she progressed further in her fighting style, doing her best to focus on being able to carry heavy weight such as solid iron armor. It wasn't until she turned 17 that she progressed to Student in Blackmark. She chose to use a large slashing weapon such as the Regis Hander due it being able to deal heavy blows while still being faster than a two-handed axe or hammer. Even during that time after she had chosen the greatwords, she was still required to do mental tasks and to carry weights on her shoulders.


In her early adulthood (18), she was often sent out to use and practice the use of the Regis Hander as she defended Jedmark from raids and such. During this time, she was put in command over small groups of warriors to push her mental stability and patience to the edge. She spent her time training with these men so she could progress even further with the use of her Great-sword, which helped her further understand how to counteract with opponents in fights. Two of the things they focused on were precise hits and quick responses to an opponent's attacks-- such as hitting the same spot on a piece of wood repeatedly and striking at opponent's openings as she was occasionally on the receiving end of their training. She did this for two years, perfecting her techniques as a wielder of the Regis Hander as she went through the Fighter level.



She was finally considered a Warrior around the age of 22. This was only due to her pure concentration and focus on the fighting style, as such it was the only thing she focused on. She was able to go out and take on a group of two to three at one time, given that she had set up a few distractions, or had some assistance from her comrades. The matter she seemed to focus on most of all was self-control and making sure their hits made their mark.


For the rest of her early adulthood, she went out and traveled all around Hedryll to fight for Jedmark and its interests, as they paid her the most. By the time she reach the age of 32, she had become an Expert and was allowed to return to Jedmark so she could train the next wave of warriors.

She trained others for two years as an Expert in the use of the Regis Hander in the School of Blackmark before she took a single moment to let down her guard. During this moment of her being alone, she was attacked from behind by someone who was less than happy about her killing one of their relatives whom had attacked her the previous day. She responded accordingly to their attack, but when a few guards happened to walk upon the scene, it appeared that Sylvia was the one who had attacked the person that had just attacked her. She was brought to trial for her acts, but Sylvia knew how much influence this person has in the courts, so instead of going through with the trial, she decided to run. Respect for her was immediately lost by all she knew as she was chased out of Jedmark by mercenaries and the Jedmark military.

Over the following days, she knew she had to find a way to get away from those who knew what she was blamed for, and she wasn't willing to stop running, so she never did stop. Eventually she reached a port where she paid off a captain to take her to Regalia.

She eventually made it and she has been in various groups for her sly mouth, her fighting skill, and her strong ability to lead. She currently spends her days looking for those whom might follow her as a band of mercenaries, as well as trying to get anyone to work for her that is worthy of her time.
 
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I can't give a peer review on all of it since I don't know enough to be sure. However, Nicoloan Fighting, I do know. Keep in mind they're meant to be monk-types by Maestro, and Dominio are perfectly in tune with the morals of Nicoloan. So she wouldn't be sly, manipulative, and a member of a gang involved with void worship, murder, and other violence as a dominio. I'd recommend lowering her to a Maestro of Martial Nicoloan. That aside, 24 years is a relatively small time to become a Dominio. They're masterful warrior-monk types, with a deep grasp of morality and a thorough understanding of right and wrong. On top of even that, the character isn't an active teacher anymore insofar as I can tell, so she would have fallen back to Usario by default.
Even then, being an Ombratore would lower their skill in combat fairly quickly, as they can't sustain anything above Fighter level, let alone the sheer dedication and endless training needed for Dominio.
 
I can't give a peer review on all of it since I don't know enough to be sure. However, Nicoloan Fighting, I do know. Keep in mind they're meant to be monk-types by Maestro, and Dominio are perfectly in tune with the morals of Nicoloan. So she wouldn't be sly, manipulative, and a member of a gang involved with void worship, murder, and other violence as a dominio. I'd recommend lowering her to a Maestro of Martial Nicoloan. That aside, 24 years is a relatively small time to become a Dominio. They're masterful warrior-monk types, with a deep grasp of morality and a thorough understanding of right and wrong. On top of even that, the character isn't an active teacher anymore insofar as I can tell, so she would have fallen back to Usario by default.
Even then, being an Ombratore would lower their skill in combat fairly quickly, as they can't sustain anything above Fighter level, let alone the sheer dedication and endless training needed for Dominio.

I recognise your concern with the Nicoloan fighting and ombratore pairing. Seeing as the vampire lore is relatively new, I dont believe every aspect of other lore has been updated to fit with it quite yet. That being said, I would like to negotiate this subject with a staff for I believe I could argue that the fighting techniques could still be maintained if they are used to assist in the capture of prey. Also, Sylvia is still an active teacher, teaching members of the Creed of Dusk how to fight. My final point is that, due to where she comes from and the determined way she has been taught, it is not impossible for her to reach Master by the age of 32. It is also possible as she fills all the criteria to be a master.
 
Over Confident- Sylvia is very high on herself and over estimates her own abilities. This fits in with her always wanting to stroke first because she think she can end a dangerous situation /now/ because she is "better." She will often take on groups of people or even large opponents such as Maiar or Orc which leads to her downfall many-a-time.
Over Confident is usually seen as a copout-weakness, as far as I know. I suggest replacing it with another trait. Apart from that, I can't see any mistakes.
 
Here's my review.
  • Your basic information is missing your character's age.
  • Unfortunately, you can't be an Ombratore vampire and have the master level Nicoloan fighting style. The limit for Ombratore vampires is the fighter level. As such, you're going to be needing to change that in your skill and strengths sections as well as rework your main ambition.
  • You listed 'activist' as one of your character's personality traits. While I recognize what you meant, activist isn't the word to describe what you were talking about.
  • Though this isn't really something you need to change, I think it's worth mentioning that being outgoing isn't so much of a negative personality trait as it is a neutral one.
  • Elegant is a bit odd as a strength to me, and would prefer if you replaced it altogether. That said, if you were to elaborate a bit more as to what exactly you mean by elegant then it would be considered. You touch a bit too much on the physical aspect of the beauty and not so much as to what that is used for.
  • Being doubtful is more of a personality trait than it is a weakness. It could even be perceived as a strength, as you are less likely to fall into traps and whatnot according to the way in which you described it.
  • Your weakness called 'voice (literal)' needs to be changed. To not know the language isn't exactly a massive weakness that would inhibit anything your character would likely be doing, and as such needs to be changed.
  • Your backstory speaks a good deal on your character's learning experience in regards to Nicoloan fighting. It would be very odd for someone to be able to progress so quickly in the fighting style so as to be able to teach in their early adulthood. Even at the age of 34, to be considered a maestro would be highly improbable given that they've only studied it for 24 years at that point. Keep in mind the immense amount of experience that would be required to reach this goal in addition to the fact that the title of Maestro is incredibly rare.
  • You also mention having a blood relation to royalty. This is fine as long as it's distant enough that you aren't trying to claim any land through this.
 
Your basic information is missing your character's age.

Whoops derp -- fixed

Unfortunately, you can't be an Ombratore vampire and have the master level Nicoloan fighting style. The limit for Ombratore vampires is the fighter level. As such, you're going to be needing to change that in your skill and strengths sections as well as rework your main ambition.

reduced to teacher

You listed 'activist' as one of your character's personality traits. While I recognize what you meant, activist isn't the word to describe what you were talking about.

I think interposing would be a better word for what I am trying to say? My vocabulary isn't very broad.

Elegant is a bit odd as a strength to me, and would prefer if you replaced it altogether. That said, if you were to elaborate a bit more as to what exactly you mean by elegant then it would be considered. You touch a bit too much on the physical aspect of the beauty and not so much as to what that is used for.

Added extra details to further explain it's uses.

Being doubtful is more of a personality trait than it is a weakness. It could even be perceived as a strength, as you are less likely to fall into traps and whatnot according to the way in which you described it.

I think a better word to fit what I meant would be Uncertain.

Your weakness called 'voice (literal)' needs to be changed. To not know the language isn't exactly a massive weakness that would inhibit anything your character would likely be doing, and as such needs to be changed.

Replaced it with the social weakness unconcealed, which means she can be crude and straightforwards very often.

Your backstory speaks a good deal on your character's learning experience in regards to Nicoloan fighting. It would be very odd for someone to be able to progress so quickly in the fighting style so as to be able to teach in their early adulthood. Even at the age of 34, to be considered a maestro would be highly improbable given that they've only studied it for 24 years at that point. Keep in mind the immense amount of experience that would be required to reach this goal in addition to the fact that the title of Maestro is incredibly rare.

I believe that due to the strict environment and teaching of the Northerne culture, she would be able to reach the fighter level of teacher within those 24 years. She has put her full focus on it. Plus I would like to keep her at teacher level so I can continue to teach members of the Creed of Dusk how to fight in rp. ;)

You also mention having a blood relation to royalty. This is fine as long as it's distant enough that you aren't trying to claim any land through this.

I'm not trying to claim any land.
 
Additionally, Ombratore suffer a severe strength reduction upon full infection. Their physical lifting or carrying strength is equivalent to that of a fourteen year old Ailor without physical training, and any combat training they may have had prior or during their infection can never exceed the Trainee level as they simply lose the ability to parry effectively or strike, being unable to put force behind their movements. Ombratore may retain stamina at reasonable levels however, meaning their ability to run away from a fight is unaffected.


might want to give it another go-over mate
 
Make the following changes -

  • Please take a look at the following update and adjust accordingly: https://forums.massivecraft.com/threads/wiki-and-lore-updates-thread.23041/page-3#post-657124
  • Note, the above change means you're going to have to select a new strength and likely rewrite a good deal of your backstory.
  • Moreover, might be best to change 'unconcealed' to being careless or blunt. The proper intentions are there, just needs to be articulated properly.
  • Interposing isn't actually what I was looking for. Think more like 'doer' or 'risk-taker'.
  • The trait 'uncertain' needs to be reworked to the point where it's less like you're cynical and more like you're actually not really confident in your capabilities. Otherwise it's not exactly a weakness.
 
@Valentinian Hope I got it this time :D

Note, the above change means you're going to have to select a new strength and likely rewrite a good deal of your backstory.

I did the edits. Luckily, she was turned right after she became a teacher so I only had to remove and add some extra things near the end.

Moreover, might be best to change 'unconcealed' to being careless or blunt. The proper intentions are there, just needs to be articulated properly.

Thankyou for pointing me out to the term, blunt, as I couldn't seem to find the right word.

nterposing isn't actually what I was looking for. Think more like 'doer' or 'risk-taker'.

Again, thankyou for the help with vocabulary.

The trait 'uncertain' needs to be reworked to the point where it's less like you're cynical and more like you're actually not really confident in your capabilities. Otherwise it's not exactly a weakness.

I have made her a lot more unconfident with the edits.
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Thanks for all the help on my app so far.
For hoping this gets approved soon. ;)
 
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Your backstory still doesn't reflect the necessary changes. As Marty said in the update, the highest level an Ombratore can obtain is 'trainee', regardless of what training they've gone through before or after their infection.

Tag me when you're done.
 
I had specified the change in the skill info, but I think I forgot to specify the change in the life story. She does not retain the fighting level. It has diminished and been reduced to the trainee level. @Valentinian
 
There's actually one last thing I'm going to ask you to change. On the weakness of your right hand, I noticed you said that it was only in certain situations. That is problematic as it means you could essentially avoid this weakness entirely, making it not exactly a weakness at all. An example of how this weakness will affect your character in one or two sentences would prove sufficient.
 
There's actually one last thing I'm going to ask you to change. On the weakness of your right hand, I noticed you said that it was only in certain situations. That is problematic as it means you could essentially avoid this weakness entirely, making it not exactly a weakness at all. An example of how this weakness will affect your character in one or two sentences would prove sufficient.

I have added the example, which should apply in a lot of situations. @Valentinian
 
After playing the new ombratore lore, I figured out that it doesn't fit the play style and characteristics of this character. I have reverted the app back to the old version where they were a teacher in Nicoloan, and changed the bloodline to Umredd. May I please have this re-reviewed for approval. I've marked the changes in blue @Valentinian
 
That should be fine. Here's my review on the updated content.
  • Seeing as though Maestro is the equivalent of holding expert in a school, you're going to have to tack on another weakness to compensate.
  • As mentioned, the Nicoloan Fighting is very much a monk-esque endeavor. You should look to incorporate that into your backstory so the overall transition throughout your character's training is more delineated.
 
That should be fine. Here's my review on the updated content.
  • Seeing as though Maestro is the equivalent of holding expert in a school, you're going to have to tack on another weakness to compensate.
  • As mentioned, the Nicoloan Fighting is very much a monk-esque endeavor. You should look to incorporate that into your backstory so the overall transition throughout your character's training is more delineated.

I have made the edits to the life story and marked them in blue.

Isn't Dominio the Expert level as Maestro is Warrior level?
@Valentinian
 
I have made the edits to the life story and marked them in blue.

Isn't Dominio the Expert level as Maestro is Warrior level?
@Valentinian
The combat capability of the Maestro and Dominio are largely the same. The difference is that the Dominio has spent more time devoting themselves to the principles of Nicoloan Fighting. So if we're talking strictly about balance, the expert level encompasses both Maestro and Dominio and thus require an extra weakness.

As a note, I'm also going to have to ask you to remove the exact weight as that doesn't adhere to template protocol. We've allowed past approved character applications keep them, but herein forward it's not to be present. The body build is enough for these purposes.
 
The combat capability of the Maestro and Dominio are largely the same. The difference is that the Dominio has spent more time devoting themselves to the principles of Nicoloan Fighting. So if we're talking strictly about balance, the expert level encompasses both Maestro and Dominio and thus require an extra weakness.

As a note, I'm also going to have to ask you to remove the exact weight as that doesn't adhere to template protocol. We've allowed past approved character applications keep them, but herein forward it's not to be present. The body build is enough for these purposes.

I have removed the weight, added another weakness, and marked it in blue. @Valentinian
 
I like the dynamic of the character. Approved.
 
Hello! I am throwing this app back into review for the following reason:
  • Incompliancy with the lore on Nicoloan Fighting.
It is very unlikely that a Nicoloan-- especially a Maestro --would willingly become a vampire, especially with the dishonorable aspects and connotations attached to it. It has also come to my attention that you play Sylvia as a very cruel, sadistic, and evil character. While this sort of character is fine, it is simply not compliant with Nicoloan. The Nicoloan are very moralistic and valorous people that could be seen as protectors or defenders, rather than serial killers or common criminals. As a result, I am going to have to ask you to do one of two things: Remove Nicoloan Fighting (possibly replace it with Blackmark?) or change the way you portray / have built the character. For the latter, you would need to redo the manipulative trait as well. I think that's everything. If you have any questions regarding this request, please feel free to ask me.
 
I have changed her to the School of Blackmark and the use of the Regis Hander, which is, interesting enough, what she used before the change to the new vampire lore from the old vampire lore and the release of the new sewers.

I would also like to state that this will be a second special permission.
@Aespair
 
I have changed her to the School of Blackmark and the use of the Regis Hander, which is, interesting enough, what she used before the change to the new vampire lore from the old vampire lore and the release of the new sewers.

I would also like to state that this will be a second special permission.
@Aespair
Two special permissions is fine as long as they're not on the same character. Re-approved.
 
...aren't umredd supposed to be graceful fighters tho
and not rely on physical prowess
yknow
the opposite of blackmarks
 
the greatsword also doesnt gain the benefit of whatever ability the umredd have which paralyzes with piercing
 
...aren't umredd supposed to be graceful fighters tho
and not rely on physical prowess
yknow
the opposite of blackmarks
I am going to keep it as a greatsword seeing as I understand the fighting usage and style of the greatsword from personal studies more than any other blade.
 
I'll be re-reviewing this app, since there are a few glaring issues in it.
  • I'm requesting that you either remove Sylvia's vampirism from this app or remove her School of Blackmark training. Although she may have received her training before becoming an Umredd, she wouldn't have the physical strength to maintain such a stressful training regime. As such, you can either make her uninfected or remove her Blackmark training, and sufficiently rework her Life Story to suit this.
  • I also request that you remove any mention of Sylvia's relation to the royal House of Vanso. Royalty isn't simply handed out to players who want it, and there are no exceptions to to this rule. I suggest you rework Sylvia's Life Story and training to reflect a non-royal upbringing.
  • Linking to the previous Blackmark removal point, I request that you change Sylvia's build to something lower than Muscular. An Umredd's ability to maintain muscle mass is small at best, and certainly not enough to warrant being classed as a real Blackmark.
  • Although this isn't mandatory, I'd recommend you reformat this app to fit the newest template for Character Applications. Once again, you don't need to do this, but it's a good idea to keep up to date.
Mark your edits in red and tag me when you're done.
 
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