Preserved Sheet Sia Marie Eldrassa

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imnotshy44

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Name: Sia Marie Eldrassa (thats her foster mom's last name)
Age: 18
Gender: Female
Race: Half Breed (Nationals Qadir and Yanar)

Skills

Core Proficiencies - Melee Combat - Fist combat (+5 core points) , Dagger combat (+10 core points)
Hobby Group Proficiencies - Nature Art - Path finding art (+10 hobby points, +5 racial points) , Sailing art (+6 hobby points)

Physical Stats

20-24

Body Shape - Athletic body shape

Body Fat - Moderate body fat

Look

Blue eyes
Slightly longer than shoulder length, dark brown hair with a slight curl
Light brown skin
Colorful T - shirts and jeans/shorts
5 foot 2 inches

Language

Eronidas

Special things

Exist Purify

Void mark

Draconic Coronet

Core list

Chaotic good
The protagonist
Esrah Alwattah


Backstory

Sia was left in a forest when she was just a few months old.. her parents - both qarids - were having too much trouble with her. Fortunately Sia was found by the yanars and they took her in, she was a quite ill but her asyriad assistant had kept her just well enough to survive, the yanars also had their own remedies which helped her alot, they were her family now.

Sia was found with a picture of the qarid god (Esrah Alwattah) which had some prayers written on the back, and her asyriad assistant (of course). The picture was the last thing she had as a memory of her parents and her home. She said the prayers every seven days. Though she did this, she didn't get very unhappy or make a fuss about not having her "real parents" because she loved her life with the yanars. She felt her real parent was actually Marie (the women who had adopted her) because Marie was very caring and she would do anything for Sia, but her biologial parents dumped her in a forest.

Anyway, Marie decided to move to Regalia because she wanted Sia to meet new species and experience a big city, plus in the forest Sia has to go hunting for food with only a dagger and her fist. She has no directions either. Though she has developed skills in that, it is not the safest thing for a young girl. Sia didn't want Marie to leave her homeland, she could see the sadness in her eyes, so she tried telling Marie not to come, Sia brung it up all the time so her mum gave in. Marie decided she would at least drop her off and stay with her till she found a home.

So here they are, in a homemade boat made of bamboos tied together with one bamboo as a paddle (which they used like a kayak paddle because what other option), some rations and money, Sia's Esrah Alwattah picture, Sia's trusty dagger and a compass staring at the big city coming up on the horizon. This was the beginning of Sia's new life.
 
Last edited:
Hello! Apologies for the delay @imnotshy44
Starting off there's a number of issues with the app;

Race: Half Breed (Nationals Qadir and Yanar)
Yanar cannot produce a half race, any child with a yanar is just a yanar and a Qadir cannot reproduce a Qadir with a Yanar.

Skills

Core Proficiencies - Melee Combat - Fist combat (+5 core points) , Dagger combat (+10 core points)
Hobby Group Proficiencies - Nature Art - Path finding art (+10 hobby points, +5 racial points) , Sailing art (+6 hobby points)

Please structure this more like this for example (you don't need to include any flowery aesthetics I did, just observe the structure as it's easier to review and read)

This is my own character's skill information section.

Ⅱ. Skill Information
Proficiencies
50 Total, 10 Talent, 10 Hobby with +5 In Hunting Arts.
Combative Knowledge - +30 Points spent
+20 Heavy Ranged Combat Skill (+20 Points)
+15 Unarmed Combat Skill (+10 Points, +5 Racial)

Artistic Proficiency - +14 points, +10 Hobby Points spent
+10 Hunting Art (+5 Hobby, +5 Points)
+5 Pathfinding Art (+5 Hobby)
+5 Construction Art (+5 Points)
+1 Gardening Art (+1 Point)

Point Buy Abilities - +6 Points Spent
Rogue Gift 4 (+3 Points)
Wall Climb 3 (+3 Points)
Riding School (+3 Points, Morroïs School of Hortutor)

Body Information
Total Body Stat: 40 (Base)
Calculations: 20 Heavy Bow, 15 Fist = 35, 10 Pathfinding = 5, 40 Total
Body Shape: Shifts as Ingemar warps in form, usually rotates between Muscular and Strongman.
Fat: Shifts as Ingemar warps in form, usually Low.

Languages
Common (Learned in Childhood from their Mother)
Plains Elven (Former Cielothar Mother)
Oortal (Url Transformation)


Look

Blue eyes
Slightly longer than shoulder length, dark brown hair with a slight curl
Light brown skin
Colorful T - shirts and jeans/shorts
5 foot 2 inches
Please follow more of the template here, while the information is present, clarify like it does there.

Sia was left in a forest when she was just a few months old.. her parents - both qarids
There is some misspelling and inconsistency with their race.

Due to the edits needed, I am going to be rejecting this application but don't let that discourage you! Just repost it whenever you feel ready or like you have made the necessary edits and we'll just review it for you again, no fuss!